Recommended Reading for an SO

[Sheri H]

Well, after a long, late-night conversation with my wife last night, she has finally agreed to read up a bit on crossdressing, crossdressers, and all that goes with it. This is a major milestone for me, as I told her about being a CD over 2 years ago and this is only maybe the 3rd or 4th conversation we've had about it since the initial week of really bad blood.

She is not accepting, and really not understanding, but she has finally agreed that this is not going away, that I am not going to ever just magically stop being a CD. So, for my sake, she has agreed to learn some. I invited her to join the forum here, to take advantage of all of the wonderful GG's as well as the rest of you girls, but she said, "Not yet." I took that as promising!

So, when I asked her if she'd rather read a book or read articles online, she said she preferred online as books get so out-of-date so quickly these days.

And so I come to you all for some suggestions. Can anyone give me some links to good articles that will help my wife understand me/us and this "hobby" of ours? Any and all suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!

Thanks in advance! :happy:

-Sheri

[DonnaT]

Pretty good place to start:
http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd/menu.htm
http://gendertree.com/
http://rural-america.net/sopage/
http://www.avitale.com/sotherlist.html
http://web.archive.org/web/20041010172826/www.3dcom.com/couples/couples.html
http://web.archive.org/web/20050326143640/http://www.marybethsanford.com/sec500/pg06.html
http://web.archive.org/web/20050326143619/http://www.marybethsanford.com/sec500/pg01.html

[Sandygal]

I really enjoy Lauras Playground.com They have a section for all most anybody. They were very helpfull to me and throughout the week they have open chat rooms. My wife went on last weekend without my knowledge. I'm glad she did. I'm hoping she is trying to understand me. Like your wife, she doesn't want to talk about it. How did you get her to open up last night?

Keep us up to date
Sandygal

[bobbipoet]

frankly, i think the book "my husband betty" is better than anything on the internet, although I must say the title is not the most welcoming title that could have been chosen - it is a somewhat threatening title. "my husband wears my clothes" is/was a better title, but "betty" is by far the better book. Read the first four chapters only at first.

having said that, here is a list of links of online discussions. i'm not necessarily saying i would agree with everything on all of these pages, but they certainly provoked my thoughts at various time.


on why?
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/cathytg/essays.htm
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/cathytg/abs_ani.htm
http://www.ren.org/rbp02.html

on telling your wife or so:
http://www.firelily.com/gender/sstgfaq/tvcd.html
http://www.firelily.com/gender/gianna/why.come.out.html

for wives specifically
http://gendertree.com/Helping%20Wives%20Of%20Cross%20Dresers.htm
http://www.avitale.com/sosigfears.htm

link pages with links to various articles on the topic
http://www.rainbowtrail.info/article.html
http://www.clcrv.com/crossdressing/crossdresser_stories.cfm


and also the following article, entitled "the dark side" which while supportive of dressing, also serves as a reminder that "balance" is healthy and obsession is a risk
http://jenellerose.com/htmlpostings/darkside/ControllingtheUrge.htm


I hope this is helpful

[Tracy_Victoria]

My partner (raksha) would concur with my Husband betty as well, she has just finished reading it, and said it was very informative.

I'm just about to start it myself!

[Sheri H]

Thank you all for your links and reading suggestions. Unfortunately, though,it looks like this will be information that will continue to go unused. As we spoke last night, my wife basically reverted back to her original stance: that she doesn't want to know anything about this, that she doesn't want to see it, or hear about it. She said that she just doesn't understand what I get out of it, and why I would want to do it at all, and that the thought of me dressing or wearing make-up physically turns her stomach.

Well, I had hoped that progress was going to occur, but clearly that doesn't seem to be the case. And so, once again, I close the door to my personal closet. I'm considering installing a deadbolt from the inside, so I can just stay in there, securely, forever.

I was quite accomplished at hiding my CD'ing before I told my wife. And then, at least, I got to dress now and again. But since coming out about being a CD, in the interest of abject honesty, I've lost even those clandestine dressing occassions. I purged my meager wardrobe and "swore off" dressing in order to salvage my marriage and my family. I just miss it.

I know that I am me, regardless of what I'm wearing, and my wife knows that too. A dress and some lipstick do not define who I am, and knowing that helps me through the tough days, when all I want to do is just put on that dress and pick a brilliant shade of lipstick. And so, at least for now, this forum will just continue to be my CD "fix".

Sorry for rambling. And thank you all so much for listening.

-Sheri

[michelle-h]

Hi Sheri, this is my first post here, but I felt like I needed to respond. Have you tried any kind of Marital Counciling? When my wife first found out, things did not go too well, but when we went to counciling together, we really made alot of progress. Sometimes it just helps to have someone kick start or moderate a discussion. Since then my wife and I are doing really well, but it still helps to go to our sessions. It seems like it keeps us talking. Communication is one of the most important things in your marriage, so you need to talk about. If you don't, it will build a wall between you. You will be resentful of her, and she will be suspicious of what you may be doing behind her back. Please don't give up, and good luck.

Michelle

[azure]

that sounds like a good idea, to approach a counsellor to repair the issues that have caused the communications breakdown, and restore harmony, but NOT as a vehicle to make your wife agree to your dressing, I know the important thing to you is that you and your wife, are happy again and the single most important thing in your life is her, and your love for her, however as has been spoken of many times over is the need for honesty. The truth is crappy, and it really does hurt, but its better than living a lie. I hope you find a place and time to find understanding between you.