am i gay?

[hillary_lng]

hello,i have a question,i have considered myself a crossdresser for many many years but lately i have thought alot about dressing up and going to a dance club and dancing with men.as far as seeing a guy's tool it completely turns me off but do i want to to feel more feminine or am i turning gay or what??,thanks hillary

[Julie York]

There's a simple test.

Do you find men sexually attractive?

[vikki]

i can only speak for my self . i would rather a woman come up to me dressd and dance with her i know im not gay and we all have different goals in dressing altho im prob ts. but for me i cant understand what ggs see in men lol two woman is beautifull for me and i will always wish i was 1 of them but i think only you know your own true feelings so there for only you can answer it . even if you were gay theres nothing wrong with that each to there own as long as no ones getting hurt or breaking the law. maybe others might be able to help you more

[AmyCarter]

Actually, you would be turning bi, wouldn't you?
A clarification of julie's test: who are you sexually attracted to; men, women, or both. It really is that simple.

[FionaAlexis]

Depends what the dance is Hillary - if its the tango - then I think there's a good chance you're gay. Also the waltz - would be a big ? If you're into wearing ballgowns then sounds a bit sissy to me.

Otherwise I wouldn't worry too much.

Fiona xx

[Joy Carter]

If you're into wearing ball gowns then sounds a bit sissy to me.


Fiona xx[/QUOTE]
Gee Fiona you trampeled one of my great fantasies ! LOL :D

[hillary_lng]

no,i mean i drive down the road everyday and go to wal-mart etc and never have looked at a guy and thought dang he's cutes or anything like that,i guess i just wonder what it would feel like to dance with a man while wearing a dress and feeling feminine,hillary

[Yes I am]

Maybe it's "gay" maybe it's not, do what feels right to you babe, don't worry about it.

[Deborah]

Andrew Dice Clay once said:

You either suck .... or you don't suck .... there is no in between.
So do you? There's your answer.

[hillary_lng]

i liked the way you put that lol,and to answer your question no i dont and no i wont,hillary

[alexis GG]

:hello: Hillary. after reading what you wrote and the replies you got, then what you added. I don't think you are gay just normal. Hope this helps :happy:
alexis35

[trannie T]

I've been dressed and danced with women, does this make them gay? Or is it like junior high when all the boys were afraid to dance with girls so the girls would dance with each other? Or am I just confused?

[jessica duprea]

if you have sex with a man dressed as a woman but not at any other time than you are not gay.

Gay men like having sex as men and like being men.

My therapist, and I had 4 total all asked me (when I asked them if I was gay),
if I felt like a man or a woman when with these men I had sex with, I told them that there was nothing male about the way I felt or acted and gay porn does nothing for me but I am attracted to men as a woman never a man.

they said I'm not gay, because I did not identify as a man when with these men.

So there is your answer, you can have sex with a man and not be gay providing you do not see your self as a man having sex with a man.

If I have sex with a woman I still feel like a female so that makes me a lesbian in a male body.
:love:

[Yes I am]

if you have sex with a man dressed as a woman but not at any other time than you are not gay.

Gay men like having sex as men and like being men.

My therapist, and I had 4 total all asked me (when I asked them if I was gay),
if I felt like a man or a woman when with these men I had sex with, I told them that there was nothing male about the way I felt or acted and gay porn does nothing for me but I am attracted to men as a woman never a man.

they said I'm not gay, because I did not identify as a man when with these men.

So there is your answer, you can have sex with a man and not be gay providing you do not see your self as a man having sex with a man.

If I have sex with a woman I still feel like a female so that makes me a lesbian in a male body.
:love:


I'm sorry, do you actually believe this?

[Karinna]

...i just wonder what it would feel like to dance with a man while wearing a dress and feeling feminine...
I guess it's the main point.
Crossdressing is for most people a part of something bigger which is "Cross the Gender Barrier-ing". It's not just dressing, it's talking, standing, walking, thinking, being a woman. You tried the dress, now you want the rest. You just wanna dance with guys like women do. You may have more the desire of meeting men if you are in the closet, i think, because you can only imagine it. So imagine the complement of a nice girl like you, it's a man making you feel more feminine. Math formula: MF/F=M, male seeking mode.

(- My confused point of view

[Tamara Croft]

if you have sex with a man dressed as a woman but not at any other time than you are not gay.Not gay, bisexual... doesn't matter what you are wearing, if you are having sex with both genders, then you are bisexual... clothes does not maketh the person!

[KateW]

Exactly!

[CobraJett]

if you have sex with a man dressed as a woman but not at any other time than you are not gay.

Gay men like having sex as men and like being men.

My therapist, and I had 4 total all asked me (when I asked them if I was gay),
if I felt like a man or a woman when with these men I had sex with, I told them that there was nothing male about the way I felt or acted and gay porn does nothing for me but I am attracted to men as a woman never a man.

they said I'm not gay, because I did not identify as a man when with these men.

So there is your answer, you can have sex with a man and not be gay providing you do not see your self as a man having sex with a man.

If I have sex with a woman I still feel like a female so that makes me a lesbian in a male body.
:love:

How about if you are attracted to GG's, TS, and CD's...but not men at all? The thought of hairy, masculine guys is pretty gross to me....but a beautiful TS or CD is very attractive to me....sorry if this makes no sense....I'm NEW! LoL

CJ

[michelleliz]

I don't think you are gay. Just a normal cd women
Michelleliz

[FionaAlexis]

How about if you are attracted to GG's, TS, and CD's...but not men at all? The thought of hairy, masculine guys is pretty gross to me....but a beautiful TS or CD is very attractive to me....sorry if this makes no sense....I'm NEW! LoL

CJ

Yes, you are quite right. Sexuality for TGs is much more complex than simplistic gay, bi, hetero labels. And in addition many TGs are more adaptable and their sexuality is often changing.

You may be NEW - but you are honest.

Fiona xx

[KateW]

How about if you are attracted to GG's, TS, and CD's...but not men at all? The thought of hairy, masculine guys is pretty gross to me....but a beautiful TS or CD is very attractive to me....sorry if this makes no sense....I'm NEW! LoL

CJ

In other words - that would mean finding feminine men attractive. You would still technically be considered gay or bi.

[Robyn2006]

For me, I could never imagine being with a man as a man... but, as a WOMAN, well that's another thing entirely. I'd love to be with a man! In fact, this is pretty much where all my fantaisies and desires reside these days. Funny how I so resist the label of being "gay." It just doesn't fit, especially when you're all concerned about what lipstick matches your blouse...

As for Deborah's Andrew Dice Clay offering: "You either suck .... or you don't suck .... there is no in between." Well...guess I fall into the former... :battingeyelashes:

xxxooo,
Robyn

[sierracd6]

Good question hun. I feel the same way...The whole either you do or don't...that is crap if you ask me. When I dress, that is the only time I have bi curious feelings. When in drab, it is women all the way. I have found out here that most here do not have bi curious or gay relationships, which I do not understand, and you are the first I have seen ask this. Or maybe is it just me? When I am a woman, I want to be a woman....Either by a man or a dom GG......thats me though and I know I do not have the majority on my side here..............I am who I am, and be who you are......no need to feel a certain way, just be it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[susiej]

Ladies,

I, also, have never come anywhere near close to a relationship, momentary, overnight, short-term or long-term, with a GM. Of course, I've been married for almost 25 years, and never even idly considered *any* alternatives, of whatever gender or species. Still, if you ask me would I "do boys", I'd reply that no, I'm not into that.

Yet, when I'm dressed and alone in my room, with my panties down around my ankles, I'm definitely into that, or, to coin a phrase, that's definitely into me.

Out there in the "real" world, I don't give men a second look. Truly, I can't remember a single occasion in my three-decades-plus since puberty, when I passed some dude in the mall and thought to myself, "whoa, yes, for him I certainly would!" I have had the other experience, though, on the average weekly since 1975: "oh my God, she could eat crackers in bed if she wanted to..."

If you want a true physical manifestation of Julie's "am I gay" test, I submit that this is it. Who, and of what gender, have you imagined allowing in your bed with a box of crackers :) ?

I think a lot of us TV/TG/TSs lead very schizophrenic lives, but with carefully delineated boundaries. Fantasy and reality blur to a certain degree, but not uncontrollably. I know I'd rather be female, and if I were, OMG, would I absolutely love every aspect of it, including getting my knees bruised -- hopefully next life -- but I digress. But in the meanwhile, I'm something else, and my feminine side is stamped "FANTASY-ONLY".

I also must observe, having been in this forum since August 2005, that a number of earnest queries, followed by several heartfelt replies, boil down to: "it's just a label, sweetheart. Don't worry about it! Instead, figure out what makes you happy, and go get it!"

This, certainly, is one of them! :)

Hugs,
Susie

[FionaAlexis]

In other words - that would mean finding feminine men attractive. You would still technically be considered gay or bi.

Yes and if you're a TG and into masculine, butch women - you're still technically hetero - however psychologically it's much more complicated.

Fiona xx

[jessica duprea]

I'm sorry, do you actually believe this?


Yes and if you read what allot of other people are saying they do to, there just not saying it the same way.

when I have sex with men dressed or not I do not feel like a man.
I do not see myself as a man, the same goes for when I'm with a girl.

What I am trying to say to the original poster is that, if you identify as a female while you are having any kind of interaction with a man you are acting out as a female not a male, so this is the cue that sets you apart from gay men.

If you identify as a man and have sex with men and find him attractive, than you have homosexual tendencies.

[Tina Dixon]

Andrew Dice Clay once said:

You either suck .... or you don't suck .... there is no in between.
So do you? There's your answer.

OK i'm rolling on the ground here:thumbsup:

[jessica duprea]

Andrew Dice Clay once said:

You either suck .... or you don't suck .... there is no in between.
So do you? There's your answer.



Um...Yea


Why you don't? you never have?


:tongueout

[~Kitty GG~]

if you have sex with a man dressed as a woman but not at any other time than you are not gay.

Gay men like having sex as men and like being men.

My therapist, and I had 4 total all asked me (when I asked them if I was gay),
if I felt like a man or a woman when with these men I had sex with, I told them that there was nothing male about the way I felt or acted and gay porn does nothing for me but I am attracted to men as a woman never a man.

they said I'm not gay, because I did not identify as a man when with these men.

So there is your answer, you can have sex with a man and not be gay providing you do not see your self as a man having sex with a man.

If I have sex with a woman I still feel like a female so that makes me a lesbian in a male body.
:love:

So if I feel like a poodle.. and I do it w/ another dog.. that's not beastiality?


Our sexual preference is not a matter of what gender we feel like today. It is something to face up to and own. Why is it such a hugely bad thing to be gay? If you are.. you are. If you're bi.. you're bi. If you're Martian.. you're Martian.

There are a lot of therapist that will let you think whatever keeps you coming back and paying the fees. They are not gods. On the other hand the therapist may be trying to help you feel more comfortable about the choices you are making in life. This does not mean the therapist is defining new sexality parameters.

Lets not be so afraid of the labels.. And instead become comfortable with the realities of who we are and where we wanna go.

~Kitty~

ps. Following this logic. If I'm feeling single.. then its not cheating.
This is the kind of stuff that makes it extremely hard to accept CDing in a relationship. How do the SOs know that her partner doesn't consider himself a different being when dressed and therefore immune to the rules?

[RikkiOfLA]

If I wouldn't want ANYONE eating crackers in bed does that make me asexual?

But seriously folks...

Many crossdressers come to a point in their crossdressing experience when they think that dancing with a man (or having sex with a man, or eating crackers in bed with a man etc.) would be the ultimate affirmation of their femininity. "After all, if HE thinks of me as a woman..." goes the thinking. And having a man send flowers, or hold the door, or pull out the chair IS flattering to many women! That's why men do those things for women, after all. The motivation, at that point, isn't really about sex, and it isn't really about him. It's about a tgirl looking for affirmation as a woman.

A fantasy like that, IMHO, doesn't make a person gay or bi. Insecure? Perhaps. But not gay.

If you try sex with a man and like it, that's different. Way different!

There's a big societal taboo against being gay. Most of us are taught from childhood that gay is WRONG. We're taught this big time. We're taught not to associate with gay men because people might assume that we're gay. And so on. This taboo is so strong that some t-girls actually have SRS before they'll have sex with men. And because of the taboo, a lot of people REALLY don't want to identify as gay. It effects many gay people too, this taboo. They don't want to be labeled gay either. So they keep up appearances. They may be married but carry on a gay affair behind their wife's back. They may bring home sexually transmitted diseases this way. The problem is serious.

IMHO if you're a CDer and you like guys (whether you or they are dressed femme or not) you're gay or bi. Gay = you prefer men. Bi = you find both women and men attractive. If you want to be honest with yourself, get over the label thing. You are what you are, whether you're comfortable with the label or not.

For the record, I'm bisexual. Oh, shock, there it is! Tell it from the housetops on the 11 pm news, Rikki is bi! There--I'm out of the closet! I'm bi!

Ho-hum. Sexual attraction, after all, is a lot more complex than simple labels. To say that I find women attractive, doesn't mean that I find ALL women attractive. Withered grannies don't do it for me at all. Nor do little girls (thank God!). And I'm faithful to my wife. That means that there are a lot of attractive women, and attractive t-girls, and attractive men out there, but it's no big deal. I'm sticking with her till death.

But each of us is attracted to whomever we're attracted to. We can't change that, anymore than most of us can give up crossdressing forever. We are who we are.

But we CAN control our expression of our sexuality. Like we can control when and where we crossdress. The world is full of attractive people, for most of us. Ho-hum! Get used to it. It's nothing to feel smug about if all of those attractive people happen to be female, or some of them happen to be male.

So, if you fantasize about dancing with a man, that doesn't make you gay. And if all you ever do is dance, that's no big deal either. Let him buy you a drink if you want--all that's just flattering your feminine ego.

But, if you do go beyond the drinks and flowers, please play safe. And if there's someone who expects you to be faithful, please remember that, too.

Rikki

[livy_m_b]

This is one of those discussions I hate, so naturally I dive right in!

There are those who seem to think that any attraction to a person of the same sex whether fantasy or not qualifies one as gay. There are others that seem to think that once you have sex with the "same sex" you are gay, regardless of anything else. (I knew a person in another life (USN) who used to say: "Are you gay? Have you s***** a d***? Then you don't know - if you did you might like it and there you have it - you're gay. I have - and I didn't like it - so I know I'm not gay - but you I'm not sure about!")

Personally, I think sex is much more variable and polymorphic than most people here seem to think. The sexual response can be attached to clothing, pictures, young boys, old women, hairless men, hairy women, etc. - an endless variety of persons and objects and situations. Do we need a separate term for each new sexual object? Shall we use separate words for the condition if it's just fantasy than if it's been experienced?

Some people make appeals to authority of some kind or another and say that "x" means "y" whatever x and y might be because "so and so" or the APA say so. Other people go to the other extreme and say that words mean whatever they want them to, no more no less! (courtesy of Lewis Carroll).

In a world that mostly treats "gay" or "lesbian" or "cd" or "ts" or "tg" as disparaging terms, I would give each of the terms a definite meaning only if the entire lifestyle of the person in question indicates beyond question that they are in the group referred to or if the person self-identifies with that group.

Olivia

"A curious glance does not a (gay, lesbian, hetero) make nor a single robin a spring."

[jessica duprea]

I'm sorry Kitty I identify as a full blown Transsexual not a cross dresser so hear in lies our misunderstanding.:love:

[Maureen Henley]

Sexual attraction is sexual attraction. Straight, bi, or gay isn't the isue. As so many before have said, it's just a label.

Sex is a way of sharing fun, affection, love, intimacy. With whom you share it is not relevant, nor is the way you are dresed, or in whatever "mind mode" you happen to be at the time.

So long as you are not breaking a promise to someone, ie., marital fidelity or its non-marital equivalent, engaging in risky behavior, or using or hurting someone, then share yourself and try to spread joy and happiness, and don't worry about the plumbing or labels.

[Tamara Croft]

I'm sorry Kitty I identify as a full blown Transsexual not a cross dresser so hear in lies our misunderstanding.:love:What difference does that make? You still are male gender until you have grs correcet? so if you have SEX with another MAN and still having SEX with WOMEN... that will make you BISEXUAL...

You know, this isn't rocket science.....

Man and woman = hetro
Man and man = gay
Woman and woman = lesbian
Man/woman with either gender = bisexual

Yes I'm seriously rolling my eyes right now ;)

And one more thing....


Originally Posted by jessica duprea
if you have sex with a man dressed as a woman but not at any other time than you are not gay.

Gay men like having sex as men and like being men.I think one of our members Amelie would certainly have something to say about that, since she is a CD and GAY and has a boyfriend. So, by your logic, Amelie isn't gay because she's dressed..... Your logic I'm afraid is totally flawed.

[HaleyPink2000]

:hugs: Tamara! Your to cool. LOLOL:) Honesty at it's simplest. Thanks!!!!:D

[hillary_lng]

thank you all for your replies,it is interesting to hear everyone's opinion about it and thanks again,hillary

[vikki]

what tamara said and how she put is simple and the only way to put it !! well done tamara. i could never see myself with a man ever even if i had srs. i love woman and only attracted to woman. i think some girls like to think they like men mabe just to feel more fem cos thats how everyone thinks it should be man with woman just my views.

[jessica duprea]

What difference does that make? You still are male gender until you have grs correcet? so if you have SEX with another MAN and still having SEX with WOMEN... that will make you BISEXUAL...

You know, this isn't rocket science.....

Man and woman = hetro
Man and man = gay
Woman and woman = lesbian
Man/woman with either gender = bisexual

Yes I'm seriously rolling my eyes right now ;)

And one more thing....

I think one of our members Amelie would certainly have something to say about that, since she is a CD and GAY and has a boyfriend. So, by your logic, Amelie isn't gay because she's dressed..... Your logic I'm afraid is totally flawed.


you are way off. Gender is between the ears not between there legs.
anatomic sex is between the legs.
sexual orientation is not determined by either.
If i take your brain and place it in a mans body and you have sex with a man are you gay.. no your not can't you understand that??
and I am ashamed of some of you who don't get this most basic of gender understanding.

yes if you are a man and you identify as a man and have sex with a man than yes you are gay and all the other crap is true also.

but you have knowing idea what I am saying in my post do you? well that is not my problem either your to old to except what is currently known or to Young to have experienced the differences either way.

here are some links to help you understand.

http://www.symposion.com/ijt/benjamin/
www.tsroadmap.com
www.ifge.org
http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TSsuccesses/TSsuccesses.html
http://transsexual.org/
http://www.drbecky.com/
http://www.avitale.com/
http://www.gendertalk.com/

I have more about 300 +
If you need further reading I've read them all.

[Bonnie D]

Hillary, until you actually find men a turn on and have sex with a man, you are not gay. Even if you dance with a man. Also, if you had sex with a man and found that you are not into it then you still are not gay, just experimenting. Being gay or bisexual shouldn't be a problem either.

"Normal" careful how this term is used.

I have sex with men and am always in a feminine frame of mind when I'm with them. But no matter what is in my head it's still gay sex. If I was in a feminine frame of mind while with a woman I am not having lesbian sex, it's hetero. The sexual labels pertain to the physical not the pyschological being.

Bonnie

[Tamara Croft]

but you have knowing idea what I am saying in my post do you? well that is not my problem either your to old to except what is currently known or to Young to have experienced the differences either way.Hmm... well you see, you can't put a female brain into a mans body, so let's get real shall we eh? I'm not as old as you, but I'm old enough to understand exactly what you said in your post. Maybe you should read those links again, obviously you need to re-educate yourself on human anatomy, gender and sexuality, because, you're not getting it are you.

[Eric/a]

This thread's given me some things to think about, especially earlier when a lot of people were talking about being dressed en femme and dancing with men. I don't know if anybody else had square dancing in mind, but that's something I've done for a while, and always had a fascination for the outfits worn by the ladies. Here's (http://www.homestead.com/karenspettiplace/UniKaren.html) a page with a few pictures of some good examples, and I'm sure you'll agree it'd be some fun stuff to wear! Anyway, I figure the only way I could ever go dancing like that is to go to a gay square dance club. There are lots of those, but I guess what's stopped me so far - other than the price of just one of those outfits being at least $300-400! - is wondering if dancing with guys would make me gay, or at least one step closer to it. In the end, I guess it would only if I went home with one of those guys AFTER the dance or something!

I don't know how familiar anyone is with square dancing, but you really don't dance with just one person anyway. There are four couples in a "square," and everybody sort of dances with everybody else, just following whatever moves the caller gives. It's not quite as intimate as some other types of dancing are!

[jessica duprea]

hello,i have a question,i have considered myself a crossdresser for many many years but lately i have thought alot about dressing up and going to a dance club and dancing with men.as far as seeing a guy's tool it completely turns me off but do i want to to feel more feminine or am i turning gay or what??,thanks hillary


No.

Just don't cross the line and have sex with him, because they'll hang ya for it.
Also it does leave an after taste. : :lol:

[Lilith Moon]

...always had a fascination for the outfits worn by the ladies. Here's (http://www.homestead.com/karenspettiplace/UniKaren.html) a page with a few pictures of some good examples, and I'm sure you'll agree it'd be some fun stuff to wear!

Fun stuff to wear ! What an understatement. I went to that website and now I'm aching to get into one of those dresses...here's me planning to have a relaxing day and all I can think of now is that website...sigh...:Pullhair:

[Khriss]

then... if this woman , asked me to dance...and I let her lead .. I'd be ?

[~Kitty GG~]

The only Lesbians in male bodies are the male inhabitants of Lesbos, Greece.

definition of "lesbian"

adj : of female homosexuality [syn: sapphic] n 1: a female homosexual [syn: tribade, gay woman] 2: a resident of Lesbos, Greece [syn: Lesbian]

*********************

Those who are transsexual don't fit neatly into the terms "gay" or "hetro". I don't believe there is a universally agreed upon determinate for at what exact point a TS person is considered no longer the birth gender.

So.. we now have one ambigious person in the partnership. But what of the other? If a TS who identifies as female in her head, but has a male body, is having sex with another male body. Is this hetero sex for the TS but gay sex for the partner?

If we have a gay couple, who are totally happy to be know as a gay couple, but one of them always feels female when making love. Do they in fact have hetero sex?

very curious
~Kitty~

[Eric/a]

Fun stuff to wear ! What an understatement. I went to that website and now I'm aching to get into one of those dresses...

Here's (http://www.unikarendesigns.com/sissy/rb.htm) a page where you can see a lot more nice pics, and then you can find some links to other pages of her work when you get there. Only sad thing is, it's not really a "catalog" per se, where you can order this or that. It's just pics of what she's done before, all as a hobby. Whatever selling she does is on E-Bay.

Sorry if this is all a little bit off topic, but I'm sure if I got a wardrobe of those outfits and started wearing them, I'd have people asking me the very question that makes up the title of this thread!

[jessica duprea]

then... if this woman , asked me to dance...and I let her lead .. I'd be ?


In pain :cute:

[jessica duprea]

The only Lesbians in male bodies are the male inhabitants of Lesbos, Greece.

definition of "lesbian"

adj : of female homosexuality [syn: sapphic] n 1: a female homosexual [syn: tribade, gay woman] 2: a resident of Lesbos, Greece [syn: Lesbian]

*********************

Those who are transsexual don't fit neatly into the terms "gay" or "hetro". I don't believe there is a universally agreed upon determinate for at what exact point a TS person is considered no longer the birth gender.

So.. we now have one ambigious person in the partnership. But what of the other? If a TS who identifies as female in her head, but has a male body, is having sex with another male body. Is this hetero sex for the TS but gay sex for the partner?

If we have a gay couple, who are totally happy to be know as a gay couple, but one of them always feels female when making love. Do they in fact have hetero sex?

very curious
~Kitty~


A transexual is from birth the gender they say they are.:battingeyelashes:

[sparks]

Crap on a Stick! Are you really that confused about this situation! Come on i always thought it was a pretty much open and close case! You are or your not. Even the Bi type grey area. If you are a man and want to or have been with another guy, sorry honey you are!
Now truth be told everyone loves you when you are bi!

[luky charm]

the issue of wether a cder is gay or not is not black and white. we change all the time, more than most, as we change along both gender lines.

i've had the biggest issue with wether or not i was gay aswell. i'm actually bi and a cder, so it's been a fine line and i just wanted to reach out to those of you who both cd and are couragous enough to go the extra mile. gay is a label i have tried to understand, but really i think gay men are the ones who find men attractive, who like the man on man aspect. with cding, you're really trying to recreate a true gg persona, and the goal is to be a feminine power. strictly gay men like the masculan power, they belong to it, some what, and they are attracted to it. i personally am attracted to the feminine power, so much so that i want to be a feminine power, but the power to seduce a man into sexual relations is only a degree of that power.

if you started by becoming the feminine power, than that would be your position to take with men, it's not so much enjoying the accepted power you were born with, but it's the curiousity of the other power that changes you.

if you are the woman in your life, ie) single but cd, then that may be enough, but if your feminine is strong and wants to dominate, than clothes are not enough, my femme wants more than clothes, it wants control over another man sexually. i still don't think i'm gay, even though i've been with at least a dozen men, i've had more woman, but i either want a woman, or i want to be a woman, at no point am i man who wants a man. i am a man, who is single, but a cder who wants a man to meet my femme needs.

i guess i'm not explaining very well, but if you want to pm hillary, i know what is inside you....

[KateW]

Man and woman = hetro
Man and man = gay
Woman and woman = lesbian
Man/woman with either gender = bisexual



Case closed!

[luky charm]

i think it's less situational and more pschological than a simple formula. i've heard that %80 of the population try "gay" sex at least once, that doesn't make %80 bisexual. it's not one equals one for this issue, it's masc power vs fem power. most gay men don't "appreciate" a man dressed as a woman, so they like masc on masc, whereas being a bi cder, it's always masc vs fem, depending on who the fem is. i like being masc with women, and i like being fem with masc, so a masc gay man would do fine, where as a fem gay man wouldn't work. and then you must consider that a mans, and womans, needs change. once you get what you want, you do it again, then again, but it needs more, then it goes from there. dancing with a man is not gay, being with a man is curious, doing both is bi, and liking only the same sex is gay. period.

luky charm

[~Kitty GG~]

A transexual is from birth the gender they say they are.:battingeyelashes:

I do get what you're saying. You are TS and so therefore are female.
Seems easy. My husband is TS and so is female... now.

But 7 years ago I married a man. I was not gay. I was not even bi.

I love Dee and have no trouble going through transition with her. I don't have a problem with her having SRS. I want her to be happy.

So its not that I have any issues about TS people not being the gender they profess to be. Its not that I have any probs with homosexuals or bi-sexuals. Label me any or all of the above.

But this brings up lots of questions:
What gender is a she-male?
Are the guys drooling over a she-male website gay or straight?
Are the girls drooling over a she-male website gay or straight?
Is the she-male gay or straight and is that when with a guy or a girl?
At specifically what point in my marriage did I become bi?
What does that mean for all the non-op TS & GG couples in this forum? Gay? Bi? Straight?
When a man picks up a CD or non-opTS for sex.. gay, or straight?

What I was trying to say from the very beginning was not that YOU are gay. I thought you were saying that you flip flop from BEING a woman and a man 'in your head' depending on mood. And that that was what made it not bi or gay.

I see that you are a transsexual female. I still think that the technical term is gonna have to be gay unless you've had SRS. Because unless you've had SRS the attraction and the actual mechanics involve a male body with male body parts.

I probably went a bit hard in my first post because it offends me to hear people justify cheating on partners when dressed en femme because its not really cheating & not really gay.

L&H
~K

[jessica duprea]

Hi Kitty.

As for how I use my parts...I don't I don't like using my male organs the way a man does, and I am more auto-erotic than anything, I make love the way a female would and wouldn't want it any other way. when I make love to man I feel totally normal and every thing just seems like it takes less mental energy, not so with a woman, it's like making love to yourself like kissing a mirror.

The best way to define people is ask them how they Identify as to gender.
all TS wish they could change the sex between there legs and also the way they look.

I came here to see how CD and this place is a gold mine, to see how they differ from people like me, hey I'm still learning and no one should live in a vacuum, or be restricted in how they view life, I feel that people should allow there minds to expand to new understandings, the tradition views about gender and sexuality no longer apply, they never really did it's just that more and more gender variant people are coming to terms with who they are and are saying enough, this is who I am and that's that.

That's why some of what I said may seem like I'm clueless, it's actually because I like to see the world from more than one perspective and I give every idea a chance.
Sorry if that messed with a few people, it wasn't meant to.

I pasted some links that can explain some of those questions you posted in this thread. please check them out they are a world of info.

[ReginaK]

What everyone fails to realize is that no condition outside the womb can determine whether you're gay or straight. It's not determined by your actions, your clothes, how you feel in those clothes, who you have sex with, etc. It's not something you have to think about or ask others to help you determine. Nor is it something you can become over night. If you're gay, you know it and you've known it since early childhood. If you gotta ask someone, you're more than likely not gay.

Dancing with another man makes you as gay as driving around in circles for hours on end makes you a NASCAR driver. Having sex with another man is no different. You can go through all the actions of a gay man, but unless you are actually gay (as in you've known since you were capable of being sexually attracted to people), you're just acting gay.

Oddly, when a gay man goes and has sex with a woman (yes it happens), he doesn't sit in front of the computer fearing he has become straight. He knows he's gay and doesn't worry about his actions, because they don't define who he is.

What truly seperates gay men from men who act gay is the emotion involved, not the sex act. If you truly love and care for normal men (not crossdressed men, TS women, or ********) in the same manner straight men care for normal women, then you are gay. If you just like sex with men, but still see yourself going back to women for your emotional needs, then you're straight or "down low" as some people would say.

A good example is one of our members: Dawn/David (http://crossdressers.com/forums/showpost.php?p=389781&postcount=33)
She is a GG and a self-proclaimed lesbian, yet she has sex with MtF crossdressers. Does that disassociate her from being a lesbian? No. She still maintains her lesbian identity.


As far as bisexuality, I don't particularly believe in it. You're either a gay person who enjoys the occasional straight encounter or vice versa. I know very people who are comfortable sexually and emotionally investing themselves in both sexes. Most of the "bi" people I know, always lean a bit more to one side or the other when it comes to serious relationships.

[Marcia-B]

If you want to dance with a man, where are you going to do it? If you go to a straight club and people discover you are a CD.It could turn nasty.
I have danced with men at Tranny Clubs and have found that dancing is often seen as an invitation for going further.How would you react if he grabbed your bottom? The first man that I danced with grabbed my genitals, I suppose I am partly to blame for letting him feel my bottom but I didn't expect that.What would you do if he kissed you? If he gets too fresh just push him away.I have found that if you give a man an inch,he will take a mile.
Once you start dancing with a man you might find it hard to get rid of him.
Unless you are prepared for a man to come on to you, don't do it.
If male genitals are a turn off then you are probably not gay.

I do not really see myself as gay.Though technically I suppose I am.I do not like to use my male genitals with a man.I prefer not even to touch them.They make me feel like a man.If a woman can't do it ,I don't want to do it.I enjoy kissing and foreplay more.I prefer men who are not really interested in my male parts but see me as a woman and treat me like one.I met a gay man at a club and we had a good chat.He bought me a drink but said "I am not coming on to you, I am gay and I am into boys not girls".He was then very apologetic.He didn't consider trannies who like men as gay.
I have been with men as a man but stopped it as I realised I dont want to be with them as man ,not that I don't like them but that they would see me as a man.I want a man to be attracted to my femininity.
By the way, I am not on hormones and have not started a transition but I feel much the same way as transexuals do about the issue.I like GGs to but have not been with one for a long time.

Aretha sang "You make me feel like a natural woman,"A man made Aretha feel more like a woman.Dancing with a man may make you feel more feminine

[Sky]

This is one funny thread, though its educational value is kinda low.

I think the difference is on how many drinks I had. After the third or four, my standards of what's attractive go down drastically.

"Hey, did you see that cute old guy over there? The one with the toupee?"