Femmed 24/7 in a Dom/sub relationship

[tabitha_az]

My Madam has talked about moving in. She has talked about keeping me dressed pretty much all the time when W/we are at home. Whether it be in femme clothing or maid uniforms, i would never be in male clothing while in the home. At a certain amount i do that now (as i sit here righting this in a pantiesm cami, and slip . i myself think it would be wonderful. She embraces and helps my feminine side grow. i know there are lot of you wonderful girls that dress a majority of their lives in the vanilla world. i am wondering what it would be like in a Dom/sub lifestyle. i would love to hear from Doms and subs about your experiences, thoughts, and desires.

thanks for your support
tab

[BlueKat]

excuse me, but - shouldn't this be in the fiction section here?

[tabitha_az]

Why would you say that? i don't think it is a fantasy. She has done that with former slaves and would do it with me. i don't think or i would want to be dressed everywhere, ie work, some outside situations. but it is possible.

[BlueKat]

Why would you say that? i don't think it is a fantasy. She has done that with former slaves and would do it with me. i don't think or i would want to be dressed everywhere, ie work, some outside situations. but it is possible.
slaves, huh?
hey, whatever floats your boat...
I don't think there's a fiction section here anyway. :cheers:

[tabitha_az]

i do hate to tell you but these relationships do exist in the world. It is not all whips and chains. But it is very loving and open. my Madam has been the one person who has embraced me and my femininity fully. i am not afraid to tell her anything, fears, secrets, desires. i wish my former relationships had been this open. So yes they do exist!

[KatieZ]

Yes they do exist and for three years I was in one. It was fun but I was afraid of how far I would have been willing to go. Probably for the best that it ended.

Hugs

[btmgrl6]

Whatever melts your butter. As long as it's consenting betwixt ya.... have fun.

Steph

[BlueKat]

Whatever melts your butter.
I like that one.
But, I guess it would depend on where the butter is melted and the heat of the butter, eh? :straightface:

[Nike]

Tabitha,

I am in a long-term D/s relationship with my wife and the crossdressing is a part of our life and our lifestyle. We are happy in our lives with each other and secure in the love, trust and fidelity as we explore and enjoy all of who we are with each other. Balance and keeping perspective are critical in all alternative lifestyles be it crossdressing, D/s or otherwise.

I wish you and your "Madam" a very long and happy life together.

Be well and happy.

[ChristieS]

I was a little hesitant to jump in here but I'll go for it anyway. Several years ago I was in a relationship with a loving, but dominant Tgirl. I loved her and would do anything for her. After quite some time my fears started getting the best of me and I bowed out and started dating a GG. I just didn't know if I could handle the lifestyle for a lifetime or if I could possibly have a normal relationship later on. I guess I was a little more uptight than I thought I was. Oh well....

Sometimes I regret moving on and I still have fond memories of that part of my life. So Tabitha, if you feel comfortable with this lifestyle, I say embrace it and don't look back.

Christie

[Tara Jordan Campbell]

excuse me, but - shouldn't this be in the fiction section here?


WHY people respond to things they do not understand is beyone me......

[KateW]

WHY people respond to things they do not understand is beyone me......

I don't get it. :-)

[Cherry Lynn]

BlueKat, I think that was a very unnecessary catty remark. I thought this was a forum for discussion and support not cheap shots and disrespect. You don't know tabitha and what's going on in her life. Your attitude makes people not want to talk about stuff and ask questions. Who are you to make hurtful comments? From what I've seen here there are lots of people who have all sorts of issues to talk about and try to deal with who and how they are. Why do you feel you can insult somebody? My life is comfortable and happy, I'm lucky to be able to live who I am. I read so many posts here and really feel sorry for some of the girls who post. I don't know what your life is, but I really think you should lay off being mean to others you don't know.
:Angry3:
Well put Dawn. The D/S lifestyle may be considered an alternative lifestyle but so is CD'ing to those who are not CD'ers.

[Deidra Cowen]

I can tell you that one of my Tgirl friends here in Atlanta has a Dom GG Wife. They have a lot of fun and the wife is totally supportive but of course always in control! :eek:

Not sure the correct label for the bondage crowd but regardless they seem more open to us than the general public. My friiend and her wife come out to the clubs and have even brought another S&M (whatever ya call it) couple with them.

I've done that bondage stuff twice! LOL And I was the dom if you can believe that But regardless it was not my cup of tea. I got bored with it. But if it is fun have at it! Lord knows us CDs should not be too judgemental of other lifesytles.




excuse me, but - shouldn't this be in the fiction section here?

[Cherry Lynn]

Lord knows us CDs should not be too judgemental of other lifesytles.[/QUOTE]
Amen sister.

[jenny_centaur]

A sex slave 'cult' found its way into the BBC news :eek: very recently:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4996410.stm

[Lisa Baby]

So long as what you are doing does no harm, there in no foul!

I wouls think that the sub in a dom/sub relationship would have a pleasent vacation from [I]some[I] of the stresses of everyday life. Yes some others may be added, but the durden would seem to be placed on the dom.

I would not mind taking some time off from some of my daily stresses. And I would get to spend a lot of time dressed!

Lisa

[BlueKat]

BlueKat, I think that was a very unnecessary catty remark.
Ok, fine...possibly it could be defined as a "catty" remark, if this is a 100%"real deal". But considering the amount of posers/trolls who post wannabe scenarios like this, I don't think my remark was totally unwarranted.
I'll give you the benefit of a doubt, but...Let's review this situation, ok?

"Femmed 24/7 in a Dom/sub relationship" would mean the submissive is to be dressed female 100% of the time - Right?
This would mean the submissive individual would "willingly" do this, or be "forced" into doing this? (As in "forced feminization" which really isn't "forced" at all).
If this is indeed the case, that an individual is dressed femme 24/7...this would mean during work hours, etc. etc? How many people would actually live this lifestyle? How feasible is this in the real world?
Not too feasible, I'd say.
Ok, so...If I have no clue what's actually going on here, show me some photos, web pages, etc. that prove this kind of thing is actually happening. Fair enough?

[Ariel_TV]

If this is indeed the case, that an individual is dressed femme 24/7...this would mean during work hours, etc. etc? How many people would actually live this lifestyle? How feasible is this in the real world?


She has talked about keeping me dressed pretty much all the time when W/we are at home.

She said it was all the time while at home. Alot of couples have a public life and a private life. It easy to live this type of lifestyle in the privacy of your home.


k, so...If I have no clue what's actually going on here, show me some photos, web pages, etc. that prove this kind of thing is actually happening. Fair enough?

You are the one who posted a judgement without doing the proper research. If you had taken the time to just google it then you would have seen that it one of the more popular alternative lifestyle and not just for CDs. Hetero and gay couple often embrace this lifestyle.

I just don't understand why you needed to come and be the troll police on issues that you don't understand.

[Tamara Croft]

Ok, so...If I have no clue what's actually going on here, show me some photos, web pages, etc. that prove this kind of thing is actually happening. Fair enough? What actual century do you live in? or more to the point, do you live in a field or something away from modern culture? Just because it isn't happening in your street.... well it might be... doesn't mean this sort of thing doesn't happen. One of our own members is a GG Mistress, she LIVES this lifestyle, she hasn't been around much, but this is the type of thing she does.... AND she has posted many pictures. So, I suggest, you re-educate yourself and stop trolling this thread. These members have bugger all to prove to you, if you don't like it, move on, go find another thread that suits your lifestyle eh?

[GG Vanya]

Ok, fine...possibly it could be defined as a "catty" remark, if this is a 100%"real deal". But considering the amount of posers/trolls who post wannabe scenarios like this, I don't think my remark was totally unwarranted.
I'll give you the benefit of a doubt, but...Let's review this situation, ok?

"Femmed 24/7 in a Dom/sub relationship" would mean the submissive is to be dressed female 100% of the time - Right?
This would mean the submissive individual would "willingly" do this, or be "forced" into doing this? (As in "forced feminization" which really isn't "forced" at all).
If this is indeed the case, that an individual is dressed femme 24/7...this would mean during work hours, etc. etc? How many people would actually live this lifestyle? How feasible is this in the real world?
Not too feasible, I'd say.
Ok, so...If I have no clue what's actually going on here, show me some photos, web pages, etc. that prove this kind of thing is actually happening. Fair enough?


There are many controversies associated with 24/7 in the BDSM community. I will attempt to clear up some of the myths as viewed through the life experiences of Me and Mine. It is my understanding that being "femme" does not require the outter manifestations (dress, panties, etc.). Rather it is how you feel inside. Therefore, being "femme" 24/7 is highly possible. I am married to a CD, and even when "he" is dressed in Dockers, Polo shirt, golf cleats and Panama hat, there is still that element of Trudi which is blended into the very essence of the person I am married to. Do others see it? No. I see it because this person is my soul mate.

There is much debate over "forced feminization" as well. It is my position that this is also a fantasy. How can one be forced to do something they need/desire? I have stated before, I believe some who deal with guilt issues over being a CD, need to believe they are being "forced" to do it. To each their own, as long as it is between consenting adults.

The same can be said of Dominants and Submissives. Yes, I am a Dominant woman, married to a Submissive CD. We "live" the D/s lifestyle. However, this does not mean that my husband spends every day on his knees in servitude, nor do I have a flogger permanently attached to my palm. Being Dominant or Submissive is more of a character trait. It is not so much what we DO, as who we ARE. It is a heart/mind/soul-set.

We are in a 1,000% monogamous relationship. Many in this lifestyle are not. To each their own. Yes there are Dominatrixes who charge for their services. I do not, unless total devotion, and being treated like a Princess can be considered payment. I just call that Love. And, for the record, it is perpetual, I do believe he/she would agree that I am totally devoted to him/her as well, and treat him/her like a Prince/Princess.

There are those in this community who enter into Master/Mistress-slave relationships as well. Some even draw up contracts. It has been proven in Courts of Law, these contracts don't hold water when the relationship goes bad. Slavery was abolished with the Civil War.

I view those relationships somewhat like a Crossdresser. The CD knows they are not the gender to which they aspire, yet they need to express that part of themselves. So called "slaves" have a need to give up responsibility, and they do so willingly. Having said that, any slave who claims they give up ALL rights (and yes many make this claim) are deluded. I've yet to meet a slave who waits for permission to breathe, sneeze, go potty, etc. Yes, I realize that comment is drastic. My point is, someone claiming to be a "slave" can't be taken LITERALLY.

The Cornerstone of the BDSM community is SSC, which stands for Safe, Sane, Consensual. Any person, Dom or sub, who violates these tenets, is most assuredly bannished from any D/s community they associate with, and it is made known this person is not trustworthy.

Blue Kat, if you wish to have it PROVEN to you this alternate lifestyle exists, I suggest you check out CastleRealm.Com. :D And BTW, if you're in Texas, there are huge communities in Dallas, Ft. Worth, Houston, San Antonio, Galveston and Austin, just to name a few.:p

I hope I have not offended anyone with aversions to my particular lifestyle with this post. I simply wished to dispel some of the "taboos" so often associated with WIITWD. (what it is that we do)

I welcome comments from those with a sincere wish to understand BDSM more completely.

Vanya

[Sweet Susan]

Far too many subseriviant men exist in the American society for me not to believe that it is highly possible that men can be strictly ruled by their wives or s/o's. It's all a matter of degree. Just as many women allow the bible to rule their behavior, many men sucumb to stronger female personalities. When put into context, it is easy to see that a man can be and often is tightly ruled by his wife. This can be extended to include domination and spankings. Having not been there is not proof that it doesn't exist.

[Amanduhrob]

I happen to be a male submissive in a D/s relationship, and have been for the last three years. I assure you, we do exist, and for some it's a preferred lifestyle choice.

Now that thats been said, my Domme doesn't dress me, "force" me to dress, or even participate in my dressing, she's completely ambivalent to my dressing, and gives me the freedom to dress as I like, as long as I wear my collar.

If I were you, my only concern would be if she intends to cuckold you, and have relationships with "real" men on the side. You may not have that concern, or decided thats the type of relationship you want to be engaged in, if so more power to you, but if you haven't considered it, you may want to ask her.

[BlueKat]

Blue Kat, if you wish to have it PROVEN to you this alternate lifestyle exists, I suggest you check out CastleRealm.Com.
Thank You. I will check out the url.

[GG Vanya]

I happen to be a male submissive in a D/s relationship, and have been for the last three years. I assure you, we do exist, and for some it's a preferred lifestyle choice.

Now that thats been said, my Domme doesn't dress me, "force" me to dress, or even participate in my dressing, she's completely ambivalent to my dressing, and gives me the freedom to dress as I like, as long as I wear my collar.

If I were you, my only concern would be if she intends to cuckold you, and have relationships with "real" men on the side. You may not have that concern, or decided thats the type of relationship you want to be engaged in, if so more power to you, but if you haven't considered it, you may want to ask her.

This speaks to a very important aspect that I left out of the "book" I wrote in my post. The BDSM community, in their observance of SSC, ALSO allows, and encourages "negotiation" before a relationship begins. Limits are discussed and agreed upon: soft limits, which are things you don't think you desire, but may someday wish to experience, and HARD limits, which are things there is NO way in HELL you ever want to experience. Once negotiated, those limits are RESPECTED under the Consensual aspect of SSC.

There are also "safe words" established wherein the submissive can "opt out" of any given situation by verbalizing that word, without repercussions. Those safewords are also ALWAYS honored.

Someone mentioned 'subservient' men. My husband is FAR from that. Trudi is the typical Type A personality, working in a high pressure, deadline every minute job. She is submissive to me and ONLY me. I believe the Crossdressing, and the submissiveness allows her an outlet for stress, and escape from the pressures she faces on a daily basis.

Submission comes from inner STRENGTH, not from weakness. I have often said: there is more accomplishment in having a tiger on a string, than a kitten on a chain. For us, that string is love.

[CDtv]

My Wife and Mistress controls our house, lifestyle and the public and private aspects thereof. i LOVE HER and WORSHIP HER and willing submit to HER. She encourages me to dress and we shop together for many things for me. She only "forces" me to dress for contrived/fantasized/invented imaginary time we explore together. She places me in restraints of various types knowing that if She wouldn;t i would. She Loves my addiction to high heels and plays that up all the time. Are we different? You bet! Is it consensual and loving? Without a doubt! i am a slave and i am willingly a slave to my Wife!!!

[Amanduhrob]

[/B]

This speaks to a very important aspect that I left out of the "book" I wrote in my post. The BDSM community, in their observance of SSC, ALSO allows, and encourages "negotiation" before a relationship begins. Limits are discussed and agreed upon: soft limits, which are things you don't think you desire, but may someday wish to experience, and HARD limits, which are things there is NO way in HELL you ever want to experience. Once negotiated, those limits are RESPECTED under the Consensual aspect of SSC.

There are also "safe words" established wherein the submissive can "opt out" of any given situation by verbalizing that word, without repercussions. Those safewords are also ALWAYS honored.

Someone mentioned 'subservient' men. My husband is FAR from that. Trudi is the typical Type A personality, working in a high pressure, deadline every minute job. She is submissive to me and ONLY me. I believe the Crossdressing, and the submissiveness allows her an outlet for stress, and escape from the pressures she faces on a daily basis.

Submission comes from inner STRENGTH, not from weakness. I have often said: there is more accomplishment in having a tiger on a string, than a kitten on a chain. For us, that string is love.

I agree, negotiations, and practicing SSC guidelines is not only safe, but the intelligent thing to do. IMO most on line BDSM "players" wouldn't know the first thing about real play time, or the inherent dangers involved with BDSM relationships. There are too many who live the Fantasy Island version of BDSM. To them all the Dom's look like Fabio, and are experts at flogging, and caning a submissive, and all the Domme's look like Xena Warrior Princess, and want their "slaves" on hands and knees, naked, licking boots when not dressed as a French Maid and cleaning the dungeon.

Above... Fantasy, now for the reality of a lifestyle BDSM couple.

Yes I'm submissive to my Fiancée, Holly, and she generally calls the shots, but there's days she doesn't feel like being a Domme, and I don't feel very submissive. This doesn't change our dynamic, or relationship, life happens, and we deal with it. Bottom line is, she calls the shots, and I submit to her desires, and if I feel like she's going too far, or if I'm uncomfortable with a situation, we talk about the issue, it's all about communication.

[tabitha_az]

For me, Madam embraces me and has help tabitha grow. if i hadn't met her i would still be confused and trying things out without any satisfaction or sense of fullfilment. She has been my Domme/Teacher/Girlfriend. without Her i never would have become the Gryl i am today

Thank you to everyone about talking about something i embrace so close to me. Along with other like Vanya, others and i hope that i have open some eyes to the lifestyle that W/we love so much! If you wish to talk further, please feel free to PM me and i would love to talk!


I've yet to meet a slave who waits for permission to breathe, sneeze, go potty, etc.

Suprisingly, i do have to ask to use the potty when i am in Her presence. it is just a subtle way She can control me. i like it. it is a level that i do enjoy. i also must ask Her if i may sit down in a restaraunt. She is very much into protocol and enjoys that part of submission. :p Allowing Her that control satisfies Her desires. Something i give to Her for satisfying mine

[MsJanessa]

As some of you might know I've been in the D/S scene for many years now---I function exclusivly as a Domme---I know many couples in the scene that make it work but they function essentially as vanilla couples everyplace but in the bedroom (or dungeon if you prefer) The key to success in a LTR in a BD/SM relationship is to remember that outside of the clearly defined sexual roles, the relationship is the same as other well adjusted couples in non-BD/SM relationships--that is one based on mutual respect, sharing of chores and finances, and sharing of other duties and obligations. If you go into the relationship with that attitude, then you have a good chance for success---if you go in thinking that you are going to be wearing a maid's outfit and on your hand and knees to "Mistress" 24/7, that will soon become very old, for both of you. The former is reality and the latter is just a fantasy---Good luck and I hope it works for you. Mistress Janessa:dom:


WHY people respond to things they do not understand is beyone me......
BTY Darling---love your outfit---if you ever get to Maine let Me know---I'll arrange something with some of My subs. Janessa

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Tolerance, tolerance kids! And yes, very much does exist. And some slaves prefer to be called submissives and not slaves.
Kew

[nikisbest]

Well I for one wish my wife would be a little more Dominate, I could get into
this lifestyle ( I think ) I would at least like to try it anyway.
The one thing that I have noticed, and not just on this board, some people sure are quick to jump on someone and ASSUME they are trolls. Maybe I am naive, but I guess I take most post at face value until I see reasons to think other wise. Maybe I am a little to trusting, but that is me.0.02

Niki:)