Why Is It So?

[Clare]

I'm confused! Last April I had a two week period alone where I was able to dress constantly, apply makeup and generally be girly all the time. I felt as though it's how I ought to live life nornally!

Last week I had the opportunity for five straight days to do the same again, yet I didn't even give crossdressing a thought! Even my posting here in the forum decreased! What's going on?

Emotionally, i've come to terms with my crossdressing and I no longer consider myself 'weird' because of it, so I know thats not reason why I didn't dress last week! For some reason, the 'need' to indulge my femme side seemed to have disappeared entirely!

Then, in the past couple of days, I've been dressing again in-between my Dad coming home every few hours, which as you can guess requires a very quick change! Why do I now put myself in the position of almost being caught crossdressing by a Parent, when I could have been all girly last week without the constant fear of discovery?

... and to think i'd figured out all this transgender stuff about myself!

[Makncheese]

I'm not sure, but rather than let your question remain unanswered, I'm not sure if the TS area is the right forum for that. Perhaps if you ask about it in the CD forums, you might get more replies.

[CharlaineCadence]

Hun have you been depressed at all. I'm not a doctor but I have been dealing with the pdocs for a while. go to this site http://www.depression.com/depression_questionnaire.html and truthfully answer the questions. you can research depression their too. think bout then then se a pdoc for help hun.

besk wishes

kiss kiss
char

p.s. if you need a friends pm me hun

[OniKoneko]

Yes, indeed. Depression can cut gouges in your will and in caring about things. I know this from firsthand experience. Being transsexual isn't always easy and sometimes you just feel like utter crap. When I feel like utter crap, I don't really care if I look nice. I just care that I live through the day, even though I may want to die. :P

Also, have you ever considered that the novelty of it may be wearing off? I cannot speak from firsthand experience as wearing "girly" clothes has always felt completely natural to me thus far, but I suspect that some transsexual individuals have a sort of... Well, I don't know how to explain it other than you take any opportunity you have to dress as you percieve girly because you have a sort of attraction to being feminine. Not sexual attraction, mind you... More like a want to prove to yourself and others that you are and can be girly or something like that.

I think your two-week stint of girly-ness exhausted the novelty of dressing up blatantly girly. You might just be realizing that wearing girly clothes and makeup is no big thing now, and that you can do it at your leisure when you feel like it instead of feeling a need to constantly wear blatantly feminine clothing.

I mean, do you seriously think every girl gets up in the morning, picks out a cute pair of panties, pulls on a pair of pantyhose and a skirt, pops on a pair of heels, pops on a bra, pulls on a tight-fitting dress top, spends exorbant amounts of time fixing her hair, and puts on enough makeup to fit in perfectly at a hick-class dance? To be honest, I don't even differentiate between my panties except to note whether they're wet or dry (as I have to hand wash them and my binders) and whether they are my favorite, single pair of Victoria's Secret small low-rise bikini panties. All my other panties are Hanes size fives and are loose-fitting as Target doesn't seem to like thin people who need size fours. I don't wear what few girly shirts I have much, either. If I had more and could just go to a laundromat to wash the whole lot of them I would, and I would be happy that I had enough clothing to justify sneaking over to the laundromat.

The most makeup I have ever worn was mascara, eyeliner, and eyeshadow. I'm starting to regularly wear eyeliner because I like how it looks, but other than that I don't wear any other makeup on a regular basis, unless you consider clear, pink, or black lip gloss to be a strictly makeup item.

You could be going through some depression, you could simply be starting to see being girly as a normal part of life, or both.

That's my opinion, anyway.

[Makncheese]

word.

oh, and FWIW, I never considered my dressing as "cross dressing". It was RIGHT dressing.

[Clare]

Also, have you ever considered that the novelty of it may be wearing off?

I think your two-week stint of girly-ness exhausted the novelty of dressing up blatantly girly. You might just be realizing that wearing girly clothes and makeup is no big thing now, and that you can do it at your leisure when you feel like it instead of feeling a need to constantly wear blatantly feminine clothing.

You could be going through some depression, you could simply be starting to see being girly as a normal part of life, or both.Thanks for the replies girls.

Ummmn, no, depression is not really a factor in this scenario (went through all that last year!). I am currently stressed and tense from legal issues against my ex wife over our house and Son, but I don't believe that's affecting my femme self at the moment.

OniKoneko, I think what you say about the novelty wearing off may have some substance. Not to the point where I don't want to dress anymore, but the sense of 'necessity' is no longer in my mind to take advantage of opportunities as they arise.

I guess that the fact that i've accepted my crossdressing conflicts with the times when I don't actually crossdress at all!

[Lisa Maren]

Hi Clare

Do you feel frustrated with having to hide your femme self?

I definitely do and I've taken some chances on getting caught. Let me explain that. I live on the top (third) floor at my parents house and I have walked down to the second floor (during the day) dressed up while one or both parents are on the first floor. Consciously, I just enjoy pretending I can be myself around the house and I tell myself I won't get caught because I know my parents well enough to know when it's time to scoot back upstairs. Nonetheless, subconsciously, I may be trying to get caught so that at least I wouldn't have to live in a closet anymore.

Does any of that come into play with you? If not, please ignore my yammering! lol

Hugs,
Lisa

[Clare]

Hi Clare

Do you feel frustrated with having to hide your femme self? Yes - most definately!

I definitely do and I've taken some chances on getting caught. So have I!

... subconsciously, I may be trying to get caught so that at least I wouldn't have to live in a closet anymore. Me too!

Does any of that come into play with you? All the time!You must be reading my mind Lisa!

[Makncheese]

If thats the case, why not be proactive about your coming out, rather than trying to get caught, and then having to explain yourself after the fact?

At least if you sit down with your parents and explain what you're feeling, you'll be able to control the information they receive.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I'm confused! Last April I had a two week period alone where I was able to dress constantly, apply makeup and generally be girly all the time. I felt as though it's how I ought to live life nornally!

Last week I had the opportunity for five straight days to do the same again, yet I didn't even give crossdressing a thought! Even my posting here in the forum decreased! What's going on?

Emotionally, i've come to terms with my crossdressing and I no longer consider myself 'weird' because of it, so I know thats not reason why I didn't dress last week! For some reason, the 'need' to indulge my femme side seemed to have disappeared entirely!

Then, in the past couple of days, I've been dressing again in-between my Dad coming home every few hours, which as you can guess requires a very quick change! Why do I now put myself in the position of almost being caught crossdressing by a Parent, when I could have been all girly last week without the constant fear of discovery?

... and to think i'd figured out all this transgender stuff about myself!


For me, its like a stress reliever "drug". When I need it, I'll CD when I get the chance, but if The "pressure" to CD is NOT present I will NOT CD---reguardless of the oppourtunity.
I find I usually CD NOW when I havent done it for several weeks and need my "fix"----OR when something new becomes available to me like an article of makeup or clothing I have never worn--In these cases the urge is very strong.
Putting one's self in a risky situation with CD happens when the urge is strong enough. Ive been lucky so far.

[Tamara Croft]

I'm not sure, but rather than let your question remain unanswered, I'm not sure if the TS area is the right forum for that. Perhaps if you ask about it in the CD forums, you might get more replies.Perhaps you should get to know the members a bit better first before telling them where they should or should not post. You don't know clare, so you can't possibly know where she should be posting, I think your comment is rude :rolleyes:

[~Dee~]

Hiya C~

sorry to hear that you are having troubles getting your head around things.
:hugs:

i know that from talking to others in the TG community, they have dealt with the same thing .. where it seems to vary from time to time .. like in phases.
some people have said that it must be, therefore, hormonal..
umm .. some people have said its a stress related thing ..
err .. im trying to remember some of the other reasons ..

but i think when you get down to it, its personal.
its like trying to answer why people do it in the first place.
there are lots of theories .. but theres no one true answer that ive seen.

i think that the real test is to try not to let it get to you .. and just take things as normal.
i mean, if you are wanting to tell your dad, then sit him down and talk to him and clear the problem out.
heck, maybe then you wont have that added pressure of wanting to be found and therefore you can find the fun and such in the dressing again ..

i think its hard to answer this as a question .. its just not something that fits those sorts of fields.
but good luck .. and we are here if you need someone.
hmm .. in fact, long distance calls arent all that much anymore during off peaks times .. are they? :happy:
who ya gonna call?
:D

[Khriss]

different strokes perhaps..but for me,
my desire to dress , the ability to do so, or satisfaction in dressing, has surely had its ups and downs..influenced by ? outside pressures, many times..inner turmoil sometimes..loss of gratification, too often...but I've come to terms with the truth..that, for me... I'll have desires to "crossdress" reguardless of denial or supressing such thoughts..and I hope to allow myself the respect those thoughts deserve.. rather harmless but satisfying parts of my life...if I let them be ? :happy: :thumbsup: xx"K"