Things are moving so fast

[Phyliss]

Some thoughts, words, and feelings about the many things that have happened to me over the last week.

Quick history. About six weeks ago I finally decided to "make the leap" and purchase a wig. Occasionally I'd put on a dress "borrowed" from my wife and wear it for about an hour or so while the rest of the house was still sleeping. About eight weeks ago I purchased a skirt and blouse. That was fine, but there is something about seeing my reflection and having my half bald head looking back at me. (Kinda takes away from the look). So,....having made the decision I went about finding a shop that wouldn't have any problem. I asked at my local lingerie shop who she would recommend. (Shelly, the owner, knows about me). She told me of a place about six miles away, and that she had spoken with the owner before and there wouldn't be a problem. Off I went and after three minutes in there I was completely comfortable with Anne and why I wanted a wig. While trying on the various wigs she mentioned that she does make overs also, and would take some pictures if I wanted, (IF I WANTED????) Oh yeah, I want.

So to get ready for this I needed a mininskirt, more for fun than public viewing. (I'd panic if I had to wear a short skirt in public, these old pins ain't that pretty). I went to Torrid in the local mall where most of the girls there know me. Bought a nice one and while I was paying for it I mentioned that I was going to have a makeover. Tiffany just got giddy saying that she knew all about makeup and would love to "do me" Not wanting to passup a chance like this I agreed to let her have her way with me at some time. I thought she was just kidding which is why I went along with her comments. She, however, was serious and said so.

The Big Day arrived this past Sat May 27, and I went for my pictures and makeover. Wow was that fun, You can see the pictures listed under the title of "I really did it". Not being content with just having my picture taken and some paint on my face, I just had to tell somebody, so I elected my sister who was visiting for the weekend. Her reaction was, "You look lovely" of course seeing the pic of me in the mini she just had to call me "a ****" and I loved it. She's much more conservative than I, in her manner of dress.

Tina, you said something on another thread relating to this, that it looks like I've got a dressing buddy. Well, it's turned into more than just "a dressing buddy". Agnes, my sister, mentioned that she would have to take me shopping. I know she meant being FULLY dressed for that. I'm pretty nervous about it, but it's a number of weeks away, so I can kinda put it out of my mind for now. The more pressing worry is tomorrow. Today is Thursday June 1. I stopped into Torrid today to show the girls there some of the photos I had taken. Tiffany told me that she wants to see me tomorrow morning so she can make me up. I tried to beg off being a bit scared of dressing and being made up in front of her, but she insisted. It didn't take having to hold me down and break my arm to agree. I am none the less, quite nervous about this. Tiff also told me that Crystal, one of the other girls would be there to help her, ( I got the feeling it's because she wants company so that I don't "try something" ) I'm not really sure what's gonna happen but I'm willing to "give it a go". Every chance you pass up is a chance you'll never get again.
I suppose they could hide my clothes and I be forced to drive my truck home. Somehow I don't think that will happen but my mind is going at a 1000 miles an hour. I'll be sure to relate everything I can remember.

So, here it is less than a week since I had my Saturday adventure and I've "outed myself" with pictures, to my sister, three girls at Torrid, two gals at Layne Bryant, where I picked up a nice skirt and blouse combination yesterday, for the upcoming shopping trip, the owner of my favorite lingerie shop, who KNEW already, and the owner of a dress shop that is located next door to the lingerie shop, Emily, the owner, kinda knew, but because I never had said anything, nothing was mentioned. This is on top of Anne who did my first makeover and took the pictures. I'm not sure where all this self confidence is coming from and I don't know if I'm making a big mistake by doing this, but somehow it seems to feel right. Perhaps it's all a series of practice runs for the day when I and wife have THE TALK. As much as it scares me I've got a feeling that it's gonna happen sooner than I want. I just hope I'm prepared enough when IT happens.
One of the reasons I came to this site was to learn as much as I could about CDing. I had no idea that there was this much information in one site. So,...learn I did and now look at the result. The closet door is open, now I just have to step out of it. (which I'm trying to do) After that I have to go through the bedroom door and go downstairs to greet

[Kristen Kelly]

Sounds like you traded your patent leather pumps for track shoes and not looking back.

[Tina Dixon]

Tina, you said something on another thread relating to this, that it looks like I've got a dressing buddy. Well, it's turned into more than just "a dressing buddy". Agnes, my sister, mentioned that she would have to take me shopping. I know she meant being FULLY dressed for that. I'm pretty nervous about it, but it's a number of weeks away, so I can kinda put it out of my mind for now.

How can you put that out our mind, your so excited your going to burst arn't you?

[Phyliss]

Kristen, I do believe you're correct about the "track shoes" and, point of fact that kinda scares me. I wasn't expecting this to happen. I know I have a rather compulsive nature. When I take an interest in something, I end up giving it my all. It's just the "nature" of my interest and the possible results that have me worried. I know, I know, what could be the result? Full disclosure? Yep, and about that I'm worried. My wife doesn't know, and for me to fully come out I just know will be a BIG problem. After almost 35 years married I know her personality well enough to understand that she would NEVER accept Phyliss. Having to explain how I've been able to finance this would be a major point of discussion with her.
"Oh, you can buy dresses but you can't afford to fix the porch."

Tina, if I allow myself to think about it I'll "wet myself" like an excited puppy. What I'm doing right now is mentally sitting in my boat on Da' Nile river. The only way I can get through the day without too much worry.

[Phyliss]

Well, here it is Saturday morning and I'm still "on a high" from yesterday. All my worries about what would happen were for nothing. I guess I've read too many "stories" about things like this. Both of the girls were more than helpful with everything. (Let me clarify that, I got dressed by myself, in a spare room)
Once my makeup was completed, we kinda hung out and let the conversation go where it wanted. To be completely open an honest about myself was a super release. I mean, here I am wearing a dress and make up in front of two girls, what more secrets could I have?

The conversation ranged from why I started, to "does SHE know?", to some of my early childhood, to politics, to cooking, and everything in between. Even got into some "girl" talk about shopping and boyfriends. At one point Daniel was talking about my makeup to her friend Tiffany and refered to me as "she". As in "I think she needs a bit more eye shadow."
That Daniel used the term in such a casual way, just made me feel so good and accepted. I know that it was only a split second in time, but that's something I'll treasure forever.

[Kristen Kelly]

[QUOTE=Phyliss] I know I have a rather compulsive nature. When I take an interest in something, I end up giving it my all. It's just the "nature" of my interest and the possible results that have me worried. I know, I know, what could be the result? Full disclosure? Yep, and about that I'm worried. My wife doesn't know, and for me to fully come out I just know will be a BIG problem. After almost 35 years married I know her personality well enough to understand that she would NEVER accept Phyliss. Having to explain how I've been able to finance this would be a major point of discussion with her.
"Oh, you can buy dresses but you can't afford to fix the porch."QUOTE]

Phylis I understand you total, by nature I am a very compulsive person myself, even though I had been dressing for years the last 3 months I "Ran" with it, and had to stop in my tracks and look back while still looking foward. I can't tell YOU what to do, but if dressing becomes that much of a drive in your life it is only fair your wife know. I myself am trying to tell my long term GF, am sorry I hadn't told her sooner, I but I thought this was a casual thing, either way she had the right to know,.