spectacular quandry...

[lisajanexx]

this is my first real post, so...
I am about to split from my wife. my decision, not hers, in fairness. sad thing is she understood absolutley everything about me, and embraced it. the problem is we have grown apart, so we need to separate.
I have met a fantastic girl recently, and in a moment of blind weakness, told her all about LJ. she went mental, but now weeks on, has started to understand. she likes the underwear, but is clearly repulsed by the full Lisa Jane. the pics she did not like.
What do i do?
Would love an opinion from the best people in the know!
Lisa Jane xx.

[Kate Simmons]

Same old thing Lisa. She needs to be reassured of your committment to her and needs to know that your other self has nothing to do with her as it's an expression of yourself. Ericka

[Byllie]

You might wish to look at the Wives' and Crossdressers' Bill of Rights

:thumbsup:
(http://www.tri-ess.org/Wives_CDs_BofR.html)

[lisajanexx]

you girls are quick! bill of rights a bit premature, not getting wed again, but the principle is sound. would have overlooked this 10 years ago, but now it is all of me or I won't be happy. is that selfish, or fair?
LJ xx

[Rikkicn]

My best advice to you is this. Find away to come to fully accept and embrace who you really are. Be proud of who you are and what your becoming. Learn to disregard what others may think of us. They are wrong and we are right.

Read "Transgender Warrriors" for a start. Find out what place we held in traditional cultures. We have always been the center of their ceremonial life. Our gender expression was seen as a sign from the Divine and we were honored for it. Just our presence was seen as a blessing so we were always asked to be at weddings and births etc, etc.

When you get to that place, a woman that was repulsed by you wouldn't even register on your radar. You wouldn't give her the time of day. Why would you?
It's obvious, her heart is closed and yours open and loving and you don't have to settle for anything less.

When you get to this place, people will find there way to you. You'll have more friends and community than you ever could imagine. Women and men will find you attractive and pretty. You'll have choices about who you let into your heart and your bedroom.

A divorce is a tramatic thing for everyone. Mine was five years ago. As tragic as it is, there is also the time of new beginnings. A time to spend with you self in deep thought and contemplation about who you are, and what you want to become. How do you want to live your life?

My Advice? Figure out what your pleasure really is and follow it as if were the most ejoyable, guilt and shame free, pleasure driven obsession you can imagine...I mean, how big are you willing to dream? This is what the saying "becareful what you wish for" means.
Big dreams and wishes may mean shaking up your life some or maybe even alot. But the rewards, oh those marvelous rewrards.

Love,
Rikki

[Glenda]

Getting divorced and entering a relationship with someone who doesn't accept all of you. And this relationship is going to work? My suggestion is to be friends and see how it goes. If it is meant to be, it will be. If not then you still have a friend.

[Kate Simmons]

you girls are quick! bill of rights a bit premature, not getting wed again, but the principle is sound. would have overlooked this 10 years ago, but now it is all of me or I won't be happy. is that selfish, or fair?
LJ xx
Very fair Lisa, fair, up front and honest. Ericka

[kathy gg]

Please know I am not being judgemental....okay, been divorced, done that......and I am sur eyou won't like my advice.....

but does anyone else see "re-bound" in bright neon letters?

I really think that trying to immediatly get into a relationship right after one is totally finsihsed {and you are not even divorced yet right?} is a really bad thing. I am sure some romances have blossomed and managed, but why rush right back into a relationship? Is your clock ticking?

I would start to enjoy being on my own for a while and not try to fill the void of a girl by jumping right back into a new situation. get to enjoy some 'me' time and enjoy being a single person for a while. Being in a relatiosnhip is good, but figuring out who you are and waht you want and what went wrong in the last one should take presidence over something new.....

[bredalee25]

That's good advice kathy. We all think that jumping back into another relationship will be for the best. Sometimes it's not and it does more harm than good. So please consider the complications of starting a new relationship before the old one is officially over. Well thats my0.02

ttfn