Becoming... Not Transitioning.

[Ms. Donna]

Here's a thought:

Merriam-Webster Online defines transition as follows:


Main Entry: tran·si·tion
Pronunciation: tran(t)-'si-sh&n, tran-'zi-, chiefly British tran(t)-'si-zh&n
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin transition-, transitio, from transire
1 a : passage from one state, stage, subject, or place to another : CHANGE b : a movement, development, or evolution from one form, stage, or style to another

Perhaps a better term for what we (some of us) undergo is not so much a transition, but a becoming.

I see myself now as not having changed from when I was a confused child trying to make sense of the feeling I was having. I inhabit the same body, I have the same mind - and by and large, I have the same feelings as I did then. The difference is not a change of state, stage, or subject - it is not a development or evolution of form.

What I have done is allowed myself to become that which I always was but resisted. Perhaps, to the world at large, it seems that I have changed - but what have I actually changed about myself? As I said, the thoughts and feelings are all still there - only now, I acknowledge and accept them as an integral part of who I am. I have stopped fighting against myself - resisting that which I am.

It's not unlike the clearing of a dam. Suddenly, there is now a river where there once was none. But the river was always there - held back, suppressed - kept from being what it is. With the dam removed, the water and land merge - they become the river they were meant to be.

I haven't transitioned to something new...

I have become what I was always meant to be.


Love & Stuff,
Donna

[~Kitty GG~]

Very cool. I like that.

Could help some to realize that "transition" isn't gonna be a magic pill to fix their life.. And help others to see that they were always worthy individuals.

Thanx for bringing this out.

Love & Hugs
~Kitty~

[Teresa Amina]

Ooooh! Yes, Donna, becoming is exactly right. The image of the dam holding back the river is great. Teresa has always been at my center but held back by that dam of fear and conditioned behavior, a life of trying to be something I "should" be instead of being what I am. Wonderful! You really know how to cut to the heart of things. Even those of us not transitioning in the usual sense are Becoming, finding that expression of our selves-as-we-are behind the dam.

[Kimberley]

I am not so sure I agree.

I feel that once I acknowledged Kimberley as a part of me that always existed, her entrance to the world was a transition for both of us because I now no longer fought her but embraced her to become a part of me. This process started 15 years ago when I hit the wall and is ongoing today. In effect I had denied her a life and when I finally realized I could no longer do that (and keep what little sanity I had left) I had to change, to transition to meet her needs and become whole.

Maybe semantics? Hard to say but that is my personal view on this ongoing journey of discovery. Will it ever end? I dont know. How will it end? Again I cant say.

I can say that today I am much happier and better off for it and believe me this forum including Donna and others have been an integral part of this change of late.

Thanks to all of you and you know who you are.

:hugs:
Kimberley

[heather_nouveau]

Donna:

Very apt, very insightful, and very well put!

THANK YOU!

Heather

[Ms. Donna]

I feel that once I acknowledged Kimberley as a part of me that always existed, her entrance to the world was a transition for both of us because I now no longer fought her but embraced her to become a part of me.
Fair enough. I can see where in many cases it could be and actually is a transition in the true sense of the word. But for others - like myself - transition carries alot of implied connotations which simply do not apply in many cases.

Yes, some of it is semantics - but we have a limited vocabulary with which to work. Arriving at a clear expression of our situations and experiences can require a bit of creativity and stepwise refinement at times. Toes are easily stepped on in our little corner of the world. :)

Love & Stuff,
Donna

[Kayla Smith]

Donna,

Very well said girlfriend, I agree with you that it is becoming rather than a transition.

Thank you for the post.:)

Hugs :hugs:

[Kate Simmons]

I guess you could say I've transitioned in a sense by becoming balanced. As was mentioned earlier, I no longer have a sense of guilt either as Richard or Ericka. I'm a GM right now but if for some reason I did decide to alter myself physically, I'd be pretty much the same person. As Kitty mentioned, there is no "magic bullet" to change you, it has to be done from the inside and it depends on who you are as a person, how you will deal with things, etc. I would have no problem living either way in any case, that's how confindent I am in myself, knowing I will always be myself no matter what. Ericka

[Clare]

My life as a crossdresser/transgenderist has evolved over many years (as in three decades!). It has been influenced by Family, Friends, the workplace, sporting interests, World travel, society's trends, and so forth. In other words, the environment I live in has affected the way I have evolved as the Clare you know today.

I am by no means totally out-n-about in femme mode (yet), but it is only a matter of time now. All my new clothes purchases are women's apparel or androdgenous in style at least, I have a daily beauty (and the beast) routine, I have interests in traditional female activites, and generally prefer to interact with women as I feel an affinity with them.

These tendancies have always been within me, it's just I refused to acknowledge them until specific events over time made me realise that they were what I really desired as a person, regardless of social expectations in my role as a male.

It's just been a slow process of peeling away the layers up to now. In all honesty, the only aspect holding me back from being overtly feminine in everyday life is telling my Dad about Clare. I just haven't figured out the 'right' way to reveal that i'm transgendered at this juncture. This is probably the most difficult aspect of 'evolving' for me so far!


I can say that today I am much happier ... and believe me this forum [has] been an integral part of this change of late.Ditto Kimberley!