Torn between me & me!

[Sonia_cd]

Here's the deal. I love dressing, no prizes for guessing. And I love my life as a guy. So far so good.

My love for dressing inspires me to loose weight, not develop too much muscle and keep the body fit and toned. My love for being a man makes me want to develop a strong and reasonably well-defined upper body, good bicep and shoulder definition.
My love for dressing keeps me clean shaven but my love for being a man makes me experiment with different forms and shapes of facial hair growth.
This continuous battle raging in my head is tearing me apart. Am I going thro a process which will resolve itself or is there something I need to address seriously.
And....any of you guys out there experience this? Thoughts and inputs very welcome!

Love,
Sonia

[Miranda33]

I really know how you feel. I like being a man but am very weight concious, so I can still be femme when I want to. Wearing women's clothes is a great release for me and although I don't want to be a woman the woman in me doesn't want to be a man either. Just my 2 cents


XXX Miranda

[Jenn2716]

I can totally relate to the facial hair thing. Up until a few months ago I would go a few weeks clean shaven, and then grow a goatee for a few weeks. But since Christmas I have been clean shaven and I don't expect to be letting my facial grow out any more. I like being clean shaven as a guy now too and I would definitely consider getting electrolysis done on my beard.

As for the weight thing, I am trying really hard to drop a few dress sizes, but that would also help me feel better about my male appearance too.:thumbsup:

[Bridgette T]

I am in the same boat. I would like to be smaller, as finding cute clothing in my size is not exactly easy. I also like being big enough and strong enough to do "guy" things. I also fight the facial hair thing. Everytime I shave it off, I wish it was back, and everytime it's back, well there goes any girl time. I think it is just one of the things that goes along with the dressing.

[Darlene Rochelle]

I am really needing more girl time.I am ok with my male self but really need to let the girl out to play.I need to lose weight and it's not easy to lose and keep it off.0.02

[Kate Simmons]

Sonia, You have to come to terms with both your male and female aspects, much as I have managed to do. See my thread: "Feminine or myself?" I've appreciated a lot of the feedback and observations from the other girls. It took me a long time to get to this point and it's not been easy but I'm at peace with myself now and balanced. Take care, Ericka

[Gurly]

Yes! I know EXACTLY how you feel. I am of average height (5' 8") and am slightly built (135 pounds, dripping wet!). Also, I am not very "muscle-y", so I can pull off the dressing part of crossdressing fairly convincingly. Problem is, I am also constantly teased by my co-workers and friends as being a bit too slim and there is that belief that all men are supposed to be macho, etc. I often wish I were better filled-out in the muscle department but it conflicts with my CD lifestyle, which I know will NEVER go away and I certainly can't (won't) suppress it. I've found out that as time goes by I become more and more comfortable with who I am, so it's all good.