Age And Acceptance?

[Clare]

I was wondering at what age people really accepted their crossdressing as a fact of life and whether there was any particular aspect that stopped you from being in denial?

For me, it was around the time I turned forty and I guess my divorce and losing custody of my Son which is what convinced me to embrace my crossdressing.

[Amelie]

Good question Clare.

I was 19 when I really accepted myself as a woman and I never looked back. This was when I was able to have an understanding of who and what I was.


I don't understand the "aspect that stopped me
from being in denial" part of your question? It is too late for me, I gota go to bed, can't think straight(hee hee I said straight).

[Lisa Golightly]

23 years old. The year I realised I didn't have to pay attention to anyone's agenda other than my own. Relationship guilt trips, transition issues, community spite and peer pressure were all dumped that year.

[Sally24]

I guess that would be about the time I turned 50 and had just had my 30th High School Reunion. My kids were adult and not in the house all the time. I had a little more free time and it just felt right. More of an opportunity issue than anything else. Also, it can be expensive to dress if you are very particular about what you want to wear! I'm a perfectionist and I never do anything half way. I guess I was just waiting for the time to be right.

In a year, I went from only putting an article or two of clothing on a few times a year, to going out en femme to main stream stores and restaurants!

I am still working out exactly where I am and where I am going, but I feel good about it in general.

[Kate Simmons]

I was 54 when I stopped fighting it Clare. I came out openly and had had enough of pretending to be someone I was not. As I did this, I felt more comfortable with myself and have been "growing" as a person ever since. Ericka

[Raychel]

For me I guess I was around 35 when I started to just relax and enjoy who I am.

[TGMarla]

I was around 40 or so. I just figured, hey, this isn't going away. Even when it does, it comes back. So I just accepted it.

[Eugenie]

I'm going to be sixty in September this year and for me it is only recently that I accepted fully my "femme" side.

About three years ago I was in a serious personnal crisis linked to my x-dressing. I had told my wife about it but she barely tolerated it (that is still the case). I knew I was unable to stop x-dressing, having tried several times to throw away all my "femme" clothes. But I also knew that my wife would not be happy (euphemism) to see me dressed.

Fortunately it was about at this time that three things happened which have changed my x-dresser's life:
1/ I chatted with my girl friend over the internet (she lives in NY city and me on the French Riviera). She knew I was x-dressing and she was a tremendous support in making me accept my dual personality.
2/ I discovered the internet X-dressing forums where I met so many great sisters whose advice and experience have also tremendously helped me.
3/ I did a coming out to a friend of ours, GW, whom I explained all about my x-dressing. She took it extremely well and that really helped me to fully accept that part of me.

This self acceptance has had some plusses and minusses. For example, my mood has improved tremendously, but to the point that my wife got woerried that I would make a public "coming out" (I had started to shave all over... I was so happy to feel my "femme side" emerging...

I have now somewhat tuned down my enthusiasm... I think my wife is slowly getting to accept my x-dressin a little more but not yet to the point of letting me dress in her presence.

Sorry to have been so long.
:hugs:
Eugenie

[Sarah Rabbit]

I am 42 and it has been only the last 12 Months or so. In a very short time I have told My various family members about Sarah, and to my delight they accept her. I love a happy ending:happy: :happy:

Sarah R. :bunny:

[Kimberly]

I accepted when I found acceptance - and then joined this forum.

About a year ago: 18.

[sportschick]

And probably never will..but I've learned to let go of the self-loathing, and to indulge it just enough(about once a year) to scratch the itch, so it leaves me alone to get on with my busy life, which contains many things that are much more important to me than crossdressing.Works for me.

[Sophia Rearen]

39 and feeling fine.

[GabrielleS]

Guess for me - it just now. After finding this forum and joining and posting, I've discovered that I feel real comfortable among all you ladies. Something that has been missing for a long time and it feel good to let one's hair down!

However, while I've accepted that I really like CD'ing, I am not yet ready to let my SO or others know

[Casey Morgan]

I was 37. In fact, it was the day before I became a member of this site. I had been dressing for a month after spending a year or three pretending that I just wasn't interested in it and trying to ignore those half-man/half-woman feelings. I could see myself taking everything farther than I had ever considered before.

That morning I said to myself OK, you're a crossdresser. (At that time I thought that all crossdressers felt like they were partly a woman.) You can either keep hiding from yourself, "take yourself out of the game", or accept it. I couldn't do the first one, refused to do the second one, and went with the third option.

Sportschick, there is a difference between accepting your crossdressing and being comfortable with it. The fact that you've let go of the self-loathing suggests to me that maybe you have accepted the fact that you're a crossdresser. Accepting the action is the first step to accepting the person doing the action.

[EricaCD]

Well, I don't really think of self-acceptance as a destination - it's more like a journey to me.

That said, when I look back I see two stages where I really made a big jump forward in my comfort with myself as a crossdresser. The first was when I was 29 and started dressing fully for the first time. For some reason, once I managed to change my outer appearance completely, a big piece of the shame and guilt just went away. This will sound weird, but I think that only partially dressing was reinforcing the feeling that I was doing something wrong. Whatever....

The second (bigger) advance was a few months ago, when - as a result of reading some of the posts here - I finally stopped trying to figure out why I crossdress and just decided to "go with it". I can say with certainty that I am infinitely more comfortable with my femme self since then. I still impose limits on my dressing for reasons of relating to the rest of the world, but those limits are no longer a function of my own personal shame or guilt about dressing. When I do get to spend time as Erica, I enjoy it without any second feelings at all.

Erica

PS: 500 posts - woohoo!!!!! :D

[Maureen Henley]

My age was irrelavent regarding accepting myself as a crossdresser. For the record, I was 45. The triggering event was a stress-induced anxiety attack at work, which ended up with my wife coming to the office and taking me to the ER, on advice of her shrink. I felt so lost and low, I figured I didn't have anything to lose, so I came out to my wife the next day. Her tolerance and acceptance, in turn, helped me to accept myself as a crossdresser.

[Janelle Young]

For me it was just this year after I found this forum. I was lurking for a few weeks and came to the conclusion that the why I was the way that I am was not important. What was important was that I am the way that I am. It was that day I finally accepted me for who I am. I can now say I am a crossdresser and I am happy with myself. I joined the forum the next day. Support is a wonderful thing. Almost forgot, that was at 47 years of age.

[ReginaK]

If anything I went backwards. I started out accepting it. The first time I did it, I was like, "Alright. This ain't bad at all." As I got older, taller, fatter, hairier, etc. I started to accept it less. Mostly because it became more depressing. I no longer looked like a cute little girl. I started looking like a man in a dress.

[donna h]

Im 43, been dressing since early teens. Got married at 25 never told her.Was caught 2 times and made the promise we know we cant keep. Had big problems in January this year and finally had the talk, actually a letter I wrote to her about x dressing, she has since realized its not anyones fault and allows me to do it within limits. I am now much more at ease and the forum helps me. Gave her some reading from Geocities which helped her learn. Still not totally comfortable, but with her limited support and the forum I know we will keep learning and work toward complete acceptance.

[NatalieBliss]

I was 24 (25 now) Thank goodness for this site!

[paulaN]

I was about 40 when I started to accept beeing a cd. I say started because thats when I learned that I was not alone and these feelings were not going to go away. So I accepted that. But it was not until I quit drinking 2 and a half years ago that I said hay. I am what I am and I don't care what people think. I have not come out, but I am no longer ashamed of me not the least little bit. I started to shave my legs and arm pits all the time and I don't care who sees them. It's the way I like them. it feels good and I'm gona do it cuz I like it. Also finding this forum about two years ago helped a great deal. thanks gals for beeing here. So I'd have to say I found complete accecptance in my self at about age 46.

[cindybarnes]

I figured it out when I was about 36.

Im pretty sure it had a lot to do getting online and seeing how many of us were realy out there. Reading some good info, looking at others web sites, hearing their stories and how similar many of us are.

I already knew this wasnt going away,,never purged (thankfuly) ,wasnt hiding from my wife, but had the guilty feeling like it was somehow wrong.

Keeping that balance between both sides can be a challange but Im not complaining :)

Cindy

[Deidra Cowen]

I was forty three when I started dressing fully as a fem and that was when I accepted it. Its been over a year and its been one of the happest years of my life.

I think I was down about things often and did not enjoy life enough since I just did not realize I was supposed to be a chick! I am not fulltime but I do think my dressing several times a week right now keeps me on track emotionally.

[Dee 1062]

early 20's,,,my ex wife was bi and love to dress me, I also loved it...My mother wanted a girl and put girl cloths on me at a very young age. I was caught by mother at age 15 trying on her bra...she just smiled and shut the door as she left the room...

[Billijo49504]

I've totally accepted the way I was from the early 20's. I haven't come out completely, because of work and some family, older relatives. But I still am thinking about wearing a dress the last day before I retire. I'm one of the 47,600 people who signed up for the insentive program from GM....BJ

[PinkDressLover]

I am currently 22 years old, I dress as I feel, when I feel. I'm more of a lounge person so when i'm at home i really girl it up. My current girlfriend who i've been with for several years knows, but isn't incredibly accepting about it, but she does help me with my hair and I wear pjs when i'm at her house, no pink though, just some basic fairly girly black ones...she does get a little annoyed when I leave my slippers laying around though. other than that..the other people i've let into my life, a wonderful woman in her 30s offered to let me move in with her so I would be able to do it full time, and the other was accepting but it kinda ruined the chances of a relationship since now we mostly do girltalk and she borrows my clothes.

[Mandy Salamander]

~fresh out of college, 'n living in northern california, self-acceptance was really quite easy in my early 20's,,, 'n stayed open throughout my 20's,,, but a brutal beating shortly after moving back to a more conservative midwest put me back in th' closet for several years,,, but 's something that certainly can't be denied (at least f' me!!!) 'n started coming back out at around 35,,, 'n still going strong 'n better'n ever at 50!!!,,,,,,,,,, OMG, I'm 50!!!!!

[michellethestorm]

I think I accepted when I was in my early 20's....although I still haven't come out.

[Lilith Moon]

For me it was self-understanding that was lacking. I distinctly remember thinking for much of my early life that my TG needs were just a little glitch, a sort of bolt-on extra "thing" that was not so important and would likely go away with time...while at the same time being utterly powerless, even unwilling, to stop crossdressing.

It eventually dawned on me that this is fundamental to the core of my being, but I now have the problem of self-fulfillment while surrounded by people who know only the original self-denying me.

[Deena]

I did not accept Deena until I met my loving sisters in TriEss at age 67. My wife now knows but is "not supportive". I attend TriEss meetings whenever possible and shope en femme. No regrets about the late start and I do enjoy myself as Deena.

Hugs, Deena

[Helen MC]

age 12 when I started to wear girls' panties instead of boys' underpants. I have never doubted myself in the 41 years since.

[RikkiOfLA]

For me, it was angina in my mid-forties. In the hospital, I had a lot of time to think. I realized my life was probably half over, and it was high time I started living the way I needed to, and not the way my parents had wanted.

Rikki

[Ms. Laura]

I guess I'm still woprking on full acceptance. I'm 33 and have really pushed aside the pointless guilt and feelings of shame. It's been a long slow process without an event surrounding it. I still feel guilty but it centers around my feeling that I should be doing something more "useful." The same feeling you get when you're pursuing something like golf or some other activity. That won't go away for a LONG time.

My wife has been a big help and really, reading about all of the people on this site who are so insightful and not sex crazed lunatics like many other crossdresser website browsers.

I hope that I can get past my fear of shopping and such. It's almost painful to walk through a store and have to go past the women's dept. Sigh.

[Toni]

I've been wearing ladies clothes for 53 years and it only in the last two years that I have really been able to live with myself. I think that coming out of the closet in Feb 2005 and the internet are the main reasons for my more relaxed lifestyle, and the fact that my wife helps me with things much more than she has ever done before.

[Angie G]

Billijo the dress on you last at work haveta be a sercam.you go girl.:heehee:
Angie G.

[Angie G]

:evil: Laura don't pass the wemans dept.LOOK how cares I shop all the time it's
no big thing, and I buy thing to with or without my wife.
So just jump in ther and ''DO IT'' :hugs:
angie G.

[Phoebe Reece]

I would have to say age 21, as that is when I really started dressing fully as a woman and I realized it was much more than just a thing for certain lingere.

[KarenXDR]

Immediately..which was age 12 or so. And here's the peculiar thing: I was brought up in a strict Catholic household..and dreaded confession..(found out later most females my age lied)...always telling the truth. However! I NEVER EVER felt compelled to admit to xdrg. I saw absolutely nothing immoral about it. Still don't, of couse.

I'm delighted to have been born a xdr.

Lipstick kisses to you all...

Karen

[tekla west]

I'm with Erica on this one. Its been a process, not a sudden overnight deal. I never fought it, but mostly it had to wait till I went to college. First time I went shopping for myself was halfway between my home in San Francisco and my destination Des Moines Iowa. So, Salt Lake City, LOL! Hey it was the first city I came to.

I've always had an easy time of it with the girls, and never had a lot of guy friends so that was not an issue.

By the time I moved back to Cali after college I was dressing pretty fey (this from someone who would go to the creative writing class in robe and slippers)

Once the kids were born, I started going out.

By grad school I didn't care at all, I was out to everyone, and I didn't care - they thought I was nuts even without the fashion problem.

"That's Doctor Drag Queen to you, Ed - it is Ed right, whatever. Still, its Doctor Drag Queen there Ted. Ned? Whatever."

After the kids went to college, the wife ran away, and I came back to SF again, I pretty much began to go all out.

and here I am.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I don't know when the exact age was, but sometime in the past four years or so, since I've been in my twenties, although 18 was the age when I first started wearing women's underwear, basically after I graduated high school, but even then I sort of saw it as something wrong that I was doing.

But yeah, my twenties have been when I really sort of came into my own mental acceptance of it. I know when I was in my teens and such, my mindset was "I wish this would go away" or "I can make this go away." but since then I have moved into a place where my inner thought about it is "I wish I was braver about this." I don't yet have the courage to go out dressed up, but I am not ashamed of my dressing either. All of my close friends know about it, my dad knows about it, but I just don't know if I want to be publicly exposed.

[Siobhan Marie]

I'm 30 and have recently accepted myself, I've recently discovered that I'm transgendered with no desire to transition and am happy with that, but am using Wikipedia so that I know what it means and can answer any questions that I'm asked when I choose to tell people. When I dress it just feels so right and I feel so complete and so at peace. Haven't felt this good in myself for a long time. :happy:
:hugs: Anna x

[AZGia]

Since before teen age years I knew I wanted to do this. I was ridiculed beaten and puished while growing up, and forced into some macho sports to break me of the habits. I became a champion moto cross racer for many years went on to motorcycle road racing and being a champion. I was married for twenty years and raced two children all while sneeking around to cross dress. After my divorce I said enough is enough I am who I am. That was over six years ago. I am now 47 with a very accepting gf and enjoying life as a firefighter and owner of a two bike drag race team with my son, all the while enjoying dressing. Life is so much better.

Gia

[KateW]

I have been dressing all my life, but I only got the confidence to confide in another person when I was about 18. This is also when I started changing my outward appearence by plucking my eyebrows and getting my ear pierced more then once. Now in my 20's I am more then comfortable with my own skin, and wouldn't go running for the hills if confronted about it.

[Sky]

If anything I went backwards. I started out accepting it. The first time I did it, I was like, "Alright. This ain't bad at all." As I got older, taller, fatter, hairier, etc. I started to accept it less. Mostly because it became more depressing. I no longer looked like a cute little girl. I started looking like a man in a dress.

This is interesting because that's how I feel too, although the other girls seem to be more self-forgiving.

In my 20s, as I learned how to dress, walk, manners, etc. I became more and more enthusiastic. I thought I looked hot. Then I got married and purged a couple gazillion times, but always fell back into it again. But lately I have had that man in a dress feeling. I know, we all should accept ourselves for what we are, but I'd rather accept myself for looking good... sorry if this sounds frivolous.

[JoAnnDallas]

I guess obtained full self acceptance that I am a CD last year, when I found this forum, formed some close friendships with some sisters on this forum, and started going out in public enfem. That was shortly before my 57 birthday.

[Caitlintgsd]

I started dressing in my mid teens. But joined the Navy 2 weeks out of high school mainly to get away from my family. Didn't have much opportunities to dress while in the Navy so I did a real good job of supressing it. Had a totally miserable marriage while I was doing service for uncle sam. After 8 years I got out of the Navy. Started dressing again. Then went through severe bouts of depression when I was around 40. I was emotionally all over the place all day long for no obvious reasons (thick headed I guess). Went to a counselor and was told all about GID. I still don't dress at work (en femme anyway) but I think the days are numbered with that as it's getting hard to hide, uhm, other developments now.

[ava_bruna]

Alway's liked female clothes but didnt come out till 50ish. started with pantyhose then at seeing the wife didnt say much I went for it~~***~~
Gave it up for a short time a couple time's but here I am even more into it and loving every min of it,guess my ear's tell;)

[trannie T]

Achieving self acceptance has been a long slow process. I think that I finally accepted that part of myself in my 40's. I'm still deep in the closet, not out to anyone. I'm on the brink of telling a few close friends about my dressing, which will show a higher level of self acceptance. As others have posted the older I get the less important it is to hide my dressing.

[Nicola46]

I havent had the chance to embrace my femme side, that is why I have to get my satisfaction as an admirer. The closest I got was in my mid 20s in the 80s when I was single and experimenting, sadly there was no internet in those days. My wife knows of my interests after discovering my search history! and thinks im a perv. Maybe she said that out of shock. Still one day I will get the chance albeit for a short while.

[Joy Carter]

I have always been a CD age three or four just couldn't admit to myself who I was. Beat my self up big time over it lost a career over it thankfully not my wife who has not accepted who I am. Much better now that I have accepted myself I have no real yearning to come out but would love to be with other sisters and grow. I'll bring a desert and you supply the coffee let's get together and talk:D . Oh fifty six here !

[tammie]

Hi Everyone: I started at age 14, the usual older sister's hot sexy lingerie. I was caught straight away, at least within several weeks.

I was not made to feel like I was a devient, I think I managed to do that all by myself. I have as the novelests say "thru the fullness of time" come to accept myself and be at peace with wearing womens clothing.

At about age 45 I began to just wear panties all the time because I prefer them to anything made for men. My X had begun to feminize me as our marriage morphed into a sub/dom relationship at the end, so it was also the beginning of being more or less bi as well since crossdressing dovetails into role playing and other less traditional relationships.

Now I don't consider wearing womens clothing to be less than normal. I think there R still a lot of bigoted narrow minded people around who because of political correctness have had to accept gays and women doing non traditonal things. CDing hasn't been placed on the PC agenda yet.

[Calliope]

Big congrats to all the youngsters accepting themselves while young. I'm not surprised to hear most couldn't do so until past 30 or 35; makes sense in my opinion since the whole experience of being 20-30 is one of shifting identity and struggling with the world to get it to conform to our desires. Also, it resonates with my experience that a trigger event - such as a divorce - precedes. I remember the exact second acceptance arrived for me: I had been the 'stay-at-home-Dad' for a few years, taking care of the kids and house, no outside job and, one day, my mother observed 'You're the woman in your marriage' and I felt such a shock of pride in hearing those words.


I started dressing in my mid teens. But joined the Navy 2 weeks out of high school mainly to get away from my family. Didn't have much opportunities to dress while in the Navy so I did a real good job of supressing it.

Funny, I was in the navy, too, overseas on a ship - and hated it every second. Always in trouble, always asking the CO to discharge me. Every night when I went to my bunk I thought to myself: 'God, if only I would wake up a woman tomorrow, they'd have to give me the boot,' meaning I couldn't be on board a ship. (I think that may have changed since the 70's.)