The need, interested in GG responses

[Lilith Moon]

There are quite a few threads where people talk of their driving need to dress en-femme and the inventive and creative ways that they will think of to get to dress, sometimes for a few precious moments in months. We also see threads where people suffer depression or worse when they don't dress. Then there are the childhood adventures rummaging in our sisters or mothers clothes cupboards and the ecstasy of trying on those first panties, bra, hose whatever. These topics are so familiar in here and my own experiences are just the same.

But I'm wondering if this "thing" we do is as simple as wanting to appear/behave like females. For example, it seems to me that many GGs never give a second thought to dressing en-femme in the way that we Xdressers do. They seem to do it to look nice, to get compliments from males, to feel good. I'm not sure that they have that overriding *need* to dress en-femme.

So, questions for GGs follow.

How important is it for you to dress en-femme? What if it were not acceptible to society/your SO ?

If it were not socially accepted for GGs to wear dresses/skirts would you have a craving to wear them...to the extent of having a secret stash and hiding it from your SO ?

Do you/would you get depressed if you are not able to wear something pretty for long periods ?

Did any of you GGs raid your mothers/sisters closets because of a need to wear their pretty clothes. Would you have done so if your parents had never dressed you as a girl? It is probably not an issue with most because little girls often play dressup with full approval from their parents...but what if it had been forbidden? Would you have needed to do it in secret anyway ?

I know these are rather hypothetical questions. I'm trying to get a handle on what this dressing is about. Is it really just a gender issue?

Your answers might also help us Xdressers understand how GGs view us. Of course, any of our FtM brothers would be welcome to chip in. I'm wondering, for example, if they started early and had secret adventures with brothers/fathers clothes.

[Anita Mae GG]

So, questions for GGs follow.

How important is it for you to dress en-femme? What if it were not acceptible to society/your SO ?

I dress to be comfortable. I mostly wear jeans and a t shirt or a nice sweater. I have 4 kids so dressing in dresses is not something I can do all the time. Nor do I have the need.


If it were not socially accepted for GGs to wear dresses/skirts would you have a craving to wear them...to the extent of having a secret stash and hiding it from your SO ? It is quite possible.


Do you/would you get depressed if you are not able to wear something pretty for long periods ?? Not at all I am not an over the top dresser I don't NEED to dress pretty and stuff ALL the time. Only once in a while. I have nice things that I do wear on special occassions but outside of that I dress in comfy clothes. Some clothes, while pretty, aren't to practical or comfortable


Did any of you GGs raid your mothers/sisters closets because of a need to wear their pretty clothes. Would you have done so if your parents had never dressed you as a girl? It is probably not an issue with most because little girls often play dressup with full approval from their parents...but what if it had been forbidden? Would you have needed to do it in secret anyway ???I did take dresses out of my moms closet and use them to play dress up (she didn't knwo about it) I suppose if it were forbidden it would make it that much more desirable as with anything. You stick a kid ina candy store and tell him not to touch any candy, well he is going to want to do it even more. The is just mental fuel for the fire I think.

[kathy gg]

How important is it for you to dress en-femme? What if it were not acceptible to society/your SO ?

I really would not care. I mean if women could not wear dresses and neither could men....if you are talking about a society wear dresses don't exsist I really would not notice would I?

If it were not socially accepted for GGs to wear dresses/skirts would you have a craving to wear them...to the extent of having a secret stash and hiding it from your SO ?

Again, if it was not a clothing option choice I would not notice. Can't see having a 'stash' of clothing.


Do you/would you get depressed if you are not able to wear something pretty for long periods ?

Well, I mean there are other ways I can "feel pretty". Anyway, I don't get 100% of my happiness on if I look pretty every day or not. If I did, wow, I would be one sad chick! haha!


Did any of you GGs raid your mothers/sisters closets because of a need to wear their pretty clothes. Would you have done so if your parents had never dressed you as a girl? It is probably not an issue with most because little girls often play dressup with full approval from their parents...but what if it had been forbidden? Would you have needed to do it in secret anyway ?

Only child. My mom was no-nonsense. No make up no fancy clothing and we were poor. I did not get to "play dress up" like I hear about other kids got to. I think my Mom was glad I was not into dresses too mch, because the few tiems I wore one they got ripped or dirty from me riding my bike or climbing trees as a pre-teen!
____________________________________
Maybe you shoudl have asked us how we would re-act if we were not allowed to wear pants!!?

I think I know where you wanted to go with this question though. You are hoping we also woudl begin to covet and fetishize women's clothing if we were not allowed to wear it. But this is so hard to even imagine because we dont' have the same experience as cd's do. We can try hard to empathize and sympathize and in most cases I really do 'get' why cd's do crossdress. But I still can't even know ultimatly how it felt to go through those feelings of wanting to be the other gender as a young person. No matter how hard I want to 'know' how it feels for you all, I will never iin the end really know how it feels for a guy to have these feelings.

[kittypw GG]

How important is it for you to dress en-femme? What if it were not acceptible to society/your SO ?



It is not very important to me to dress en-femme. My feelings about myself are not tied with articles of clothing. I would wear what was available and make the best of it.



If it were not socially accepted for GGs to wear dresses/skirts would you have a craving to wear them...to the extent of having a secret stash and hiding it from your SO ?



I don't think that I would "crave" to wear anything. I sometimes have a feeling that I wish I had a certain body type to wear a certain look but it is a fleeting thought. I can't imagine it becoming a need or craving so there would be no need for a secret stash or hiding from anyone. Being the person that I am I would make the clothing that was available fit my personality by accessorising. Again, who I am is not tied with any particular articles of clothing.



Do you/would you get depressed if you are not able to wear something pretty for long periods ?



I associate what you would call "pretty" (dressing up and wearing makeup) with going out for an evening. It is associated with an activity. So in that sense if I were denied social activity then yes I would get depressed. It would have nothing to do with the clothes.




Did any of you GGs raid your mothers/sisters closets because of a need to wear their pretty clothes. Would you have done so if your parents had never dressed you as a girl? It is probably not an issue with most because little girls often play dressup with full approval from their parents...but what if it had been forbidden? Would you have needed to do it in secret anyway ?



We played dressup with both of our parents clothes. I liked to wear my dads boots as much as I liked my mom's high heels. I don't think that I had any driven need to play dressup so if it were forbiden then I think that I would not have dwelled on it and found something else to do. I was always a good little girl and did what I was told. I don't see that I would question my parents authority (not until I was a teen). I liked playing basketball and baseball just as well. We spent most of our time outside playing.

Kitty

[Tamara Croft]

How important is it for you to dress en-femme? What if it were not acceptible to society/your SO ?I dress how I feel for the day. I mostly wear trousers, not into wearing skirts and dresses unless we are going out to a function... and then again, I'm probably going to wear a trouser suit. If it wasn't acceptable, then femme items of clothing probably wouldn't exist.


If it were not socially accepted for GGs to wear dresses/skirts would you have a craving to wear them...to the extent of having a secret stash and hiding it from your SO ?Like I said above, why would these items be available if they weren't acceptable? If you meant, that only men could wear them, I think going on past events, such as women fighting for rights to wear trousers, vote etc.. then I'm sure we would be fighting for a right to wear skirts and dresses ;)


Do you/would you get depressed if you are not able to wear something pretty for long periods ?Nope, I don't wear things that are pretty most of the time, getting femmed up daily becomes a chore, getting femmed up occasionally to go out etc, to me is a lot more special.


Did any of you GGs raid your mothers/sisters closets because of a need to wear their pretty clothes. Would you have done so if your parents had never dressed you as a girl? It is probably not an issue with most because little girls often play dressup with full approval from their parents...but what if it had been forbidden? Would you have needed to do it in secret anyway ?I never raided my mums closet, but I raided my dads all the time. I used to love wearing his suit waist jacket and ties :D My mum had some nice things, but I equally had similiar things to her, so dads wardrobe seemed more inviting.... weird no? lol!!! Maybe that's why I love wearing suits now? My dad used to go nuts, said I shouldn't be wearing his stuff :) but I still did it when he wasn't in the house and I'm not talking young age, I was probably 14 or 15. We spent a lot of time renovating houses in my younger years, so my brother and I spent most of our time playing outside in the mud/concrete etc.


I know these are rather hypothetical questions. I'm trying to get a handle on what this dressing is about. Is it really just a gender issue?
I don't think this can really be answered. I think until science comes up with something solid, the answer to this question will remain a bit of a mystery.

[~Kitty GG~]

How important is it for you to dress en-femme? What if it were not acceptible to society/your SO ?
My take on this q is that we do know about pretty femme clothes.. but aren't allowed to wear them. Say in a communist/socialist type setting..
If that were the case and society frowned on me wearing them then I'd most likely do it if I still wanted to. But probably wouldn't go out under society's nose. I'd do it at home, where I'd be more comfortable.
If my SO didn't approve.. well first of all I wouldn't know if my SO approved or not if we didn't talk about it. So that rules out me being in the closet. Secondly if it was that important to me then my SO would approve or we wouldn't be a very good match. And so wouldn't be together. If its something that I have to hide and yet I need to do it anyway.. then it must fit in with our values, beliefs, and morals as a couple. Or we shouldn't be a couple.



If it were not socially accepted for GGs to wear dresses/skirts would you have a craving to wear them...to the extent of having a secret stash and hiding it from your SO ?
Don't believe that I would have a craving. Maybe if I saw others wearing the femme things, but I couldn't.. and I hadn't already had a full lifetime of wearing such things.. then maybe I'd crave them. And I might in that case have a secret stash from outsiders.. but from my SO? I don't see how you can call them SIGNIFICANT and hide, sneak, and present a fake self to them. So no.



Do you/would you get depressed if you are not able to wear something pretty for long periods?
No, I'd get depressed if my SO or children had serious illnesses. If we couldn't make ends meet. If I was struggling to meet the basic needs of the family. I wouldn't get depressed cuz I couldn't wear certain clothes. If that was the case I wouldn't have made it through my childhood.. wearing my older brothers' hand-me-downs.



Did any of you GGs raid your mothers/sisters closets because of a need to wear their pretty clothes. Would you have done so if your parents had never dressed you as a girl? It is probably not an issue with most because little girls often play dressup with full approval from their parents...but what if it had been forbidden? Would you have needed to do it in secret anyway ?
No, my mother didn't have many dresses. It wouldn't have been very practical to milk the cow or bail hay in dresses. I didn't play dress up very often.. we built tree houses, played football, baseball, and board games.. I had all brothers. Majority ruled and one vote for playing dolls or dress up just never seemed to win.



I know these are rather hypothetical questions. I'm trying to get a handle on what this dressing is about. Is it really just a gender issue?

Your answers might also help us Xdressers understand how GGs view us. Of course, any of our FtM brothers would be welcome to chip in. I'm wondering, for example, if they started early and had secret adventures with brothers/fathers clothes.

My personal opinion is that it is a gender issue. That for the young boys/girls who put on opposite gender clothes it was about being TG. I believe there are a myriad of degrees.. but that those who started as children and have never been able to walk away totally from dressing.. its a gender issue.

Cuz I think its a gender issue.. your earlier q's don't really present a true pic of what it would be like for me in that situation. Cuz I wouldn't feel the need to wear those clothes cuz I was trying to express my TGness. If I did insist on wearing them it would be cuz somebody told me I can't. And I don't care for that concept.

For those who discovered this at an older age probably around puberty or as adults.. I think that it was more about fetish or tactile dressing. I often wonder if this group would be able to give up it up.

These are my own beliefs. I have no documented proof. I'm not saying that I know the answers. And certainly don't mean to offend anyone.

Love & Hugs
~Kitty~

[Lilith Moon]

Thank you all for your interesting responses. BTW, I was not trying to elicit anything in particular...I really didn't know what to expect.

I was exploring the idea that we XDressers crave to wear female clothing because "we want to be just like GGs" but, ironically, the GGs we try to emulate actually don't have that same craving.

Several of you have emphasised that you dress for comfort or in whatever is available. I must admit, that doesn't ring entirely true to me. Surely, if it were so for all GGs, the womens fashion and high heel industries would cease to exist.

I loved Tamaras admission about wearing her dad's clothing...at least one GG has a first hand taster of some of the things we get up to :D