feeling of embaresment

[hillary_lng]

hi,just wanting some opinions from other cders.my wife is very excepting of me,we have been married for 7 years and i came out to her probably a year into our marriage.she actually encourages me to dress when i want and even takes the kids somewhere when i feel the need to dress but when were alone and i dress i feel somewhat embarest.for 1 thing i know i dont look like a woman,she says i do but i know she is just trying to make me feel good.i like to TRY to move like a woman and act like a woman butwhen she is around i just feel kind of embarest to do it an i was just wanting someone elses view about it,thanks hillary

[Kimberley]

Hillary,
We grow up with the guilt, shame and fear, it is constant and for any of us to break that cycle is exceedingly difficult regardless of the circumstances and support. Perhaps you are trying to draw comparisons rather than just be. By forcing yourself is it possible that you are setting yourself up for failure? At least in your own mind? I also wonder if your own confidence (self esteem) is maybe in need of some help. Ask your SO. It seems she is wanting to help but maybe doesnt quite know how.

Keep at it hon.

:hugs:
Kimberley.

[Toyah]

I guess its not what you actually look like its what you think you see. Relax enjoy your dressing and as you relax things will get better and you will see a new you.

[Kristen Kelly]

Hillary,
We grow up with the guilt, shame and fear, it is constant and for any of us to break that cycle is exceedingly difficult regardless of the circumstances and support. Perhaps you are trying to draw comparisons rather than just be. By forcing yourself is it possible that you are setting yourself up for failure? At least in your own mind? I also wonder if your own confidence (self esteem) is maybe in need of some help. Ask your SO. It seems she is wanting to help but maybe doesnt quite know how.

Keep at it hon.

:hugs:
Kimberley.

Kimberley you said that so well. For I feel the same and probably alot of others do as well.

[Karren H]

Yes, of coarse. I have felt like that almost all my life until a couple years ago when something clicked. And it was practice, practice and work my ass of to get as passable as I could. And even now I still get read but don't really care anymore. I have the right to dress how I want!!! So dress to make yourself happy!!!

Love Karren

[Kate Simmons]

I say just be comfortable with it. If your wife is okay with it, that's what counts. Ericka

[Angie G]

Chill girl we all don't look like woman just hove fon with what you got.
I'm 58 yearrs old I don't make a good looking girl I enjoy my time dressing.
So go with it AND HAVE FUN.

[~Kitty GG~]

Might just be that you're not comfortable dressing around your wife YET.

As time goes by .. and of course the more often you're able to do it.. the more comfortable and "normal" it will become.

Dee and I talked about that early on. We both felt a little nervous. She did for all the reasons you've all already mentioned. And I did because I didn't know what was expected of me. Who opens doors for whom? Silly things like that.. But we quickly moved toward the comfortable normal atmosphere because when we were nervous we told eachother and that kinda burst the bubble. We could laugh at ourselves.

I think its important to say what you're feeling. Cuz other people can't read our minds. So when I feel silly or nervous I say so. And I try to accept the things Dee does to help me get over it. When we're sitting there and I just feel happy that we're us.. I say that too.

I do get that talking to people here on the forum is helpful. It can help everyone to see that they're not alone, or that they aren't the only ones with this feeling or that feeling. But your wife is supporting you, accepting you.. And would probably love to help you work through this issue.

Love & Hugs
~Kitty~

[ava_bruna]

Kimberley. your awesome, your idea's are right on the money, I think,as well as other's, think you missed your calling? hehe:yrtw:

[hillary_lng]

hey,thank you all for your in put on my thread and im sorry fir saying just cder's. i would love the opinions of gg's to. it's just that sometimes i am comfortable with dressing fullly with her around and sometimes i would rather be alone with it.any opinions would be very much apreciated,thanks hillary

[Denise Anne]

Hillary,

It is just like you read my mind by asking that question. I feel the same way when I dress with my wife around. She is also very understanding and helpfully. She tells me often that I should go and dress and relax. She doesn't even care if I don't put on any makeup, just the clothes. I guess I should consider myself very lucky, and I do don't get me wrong, but I do still feel funny sometimes dressing in front of her. We have gone out in public together once when I was dressed for Halloween in Reno, NV. It was the most exciting and at the same time most nerve wracking experience of my life. I can't wait to do it again!!

After reading all of the advise you have recieved here I guess the best answer is to just try and relax more and let it happen and enjoy the experience. We have been trying lately to meet others around the area and maybe get together. That would be just thrilling. It was even her idea too.
I suppose it just takes time to work through all of the phases of this crossdressing thing and overcome all of the hirdles it throws our way. I am very thankful to have this wonderful angel in my life and charish every moment with her.

I might be rambling here some and sorry for that. This posting really got me thinking a lot about this and really hit me right between the eyes. All of you ladies are so very helpful and understanding and I wish I could give all of you a big HUGG!

Sincerly,
Denise Anne

[Jennaie]

It's a very strange feeling to try to be different around someone who knows you very well as a male. I can go shopping and move/act like a female and everything is fine. When I am with someone who knows me as a male very close I tend to feel a bit awkward.

I found that when I just let go and be Jennaie my close friends end up telling me that they like her better than me. Sounds strange I know, but this is what I have experienced. They tell me that I seem so much more comfortable and friendly when I am in full dress.

It does seem to stand to reason though, Jennaie is just a happy woman who gets to go shopping and buy nice things, while I have to pay the bills. :happy:

[Holly]

It does seem to stand to reason though, Jennaie is just a happy woman who gets to go shopping and buy nice things, while I have to pay the bills. :happy:Brilliant, Jennaie! That explains alot! :D

Hillary, it does get easier. You've already overcome one of the biggest obstacles i that you have an unserstanding and supportive SO. The comments of some of the other girls are right on the money... TELL HER HOW YOU ARE FEELING! Communication with one another in any marriage is important; it's crucial in a marriage with a CDer.

[pinkshelly]

I tell ya what. When I first started dressing, and loving it. I felt ashamed and uncomfortable in front of the wife. She didn't dilike it in fact she enjoys it. I found that it was me, all me. I thought that she should hate it. I thought; she wanted a man not a woman. After talking about it, I found that she just wanted me no matter how I dress. She feels that it's both sides that make me whole, and a whole lot'a fun.:D

[Cora]

It may be that you just feel it is a provate thing. Vanity may be a sin but it is human nature none the less. I would feel embarrassed and I don't think that is necessairly bad. It depends on how you feel about it.

[Eleanor]

You are very lucky to have a supportive wife and even though you are true to yourself that you are not passable and embarressed you can only go one of two ways,either continue crossdressing or just stop doing it.I think you are a very lucky person to have a wife like that and should listen to what Karren said in her post!She hit the nail on the head there!!!

[Joy Carter]

I hope I can get a proper burial after I die from embarrassment. LOL