your children was crossdressing

[Barb Valentine]

We all know that we started crossdressing at a young age
I'm just curious what would you say or do if you found out that one of your children was crossdressing

[sharon2]

i would encourage him.crossdressing is a beautiful thing.i think it makes you
respect women more.my mother encouraged me from when i was 10 she even
bought me my first dress to wear to a party with my older sister,it was very
special.

[michelle-h]

I like to think that I would be understanding and supportive. However, i think that if I could encourage a different way to express his femme side, that I would. Being a crossdresser can be a lonely and depressing life without good support. And because the rest of the world will never see us as normal, I really would not wish it on anyone. I am lucky that my wife is very supportive, but if I thought that I could stop dressing and live without it, I would. I know it is still hard on her. I would hate for my son to go through the kind of pain I went through in my youth. And who's to say he would be able to find a supportive spouse as an adult. But the bottom line is that I would be able to understand and I would be supportive, because I love him.

Michelle-H

[size7satin]

Well if you go by the old vantage "but girls wear pants" then both my daughters crossdress already...... now my son has "dressed" before more for fun playing around...... BUT they all know I CD so it would be hard for them to understand if I didn't support them any way I could.

[Stephacuse]

i was actualy thinking about this the other day and honestly i dont know what i would do if my children CD'd but i know i'd be very supportive

[Bonnie D]

If I found out either one or both, son and daughter, crossdressed I would have to support him or her or both because I would know that they will never stop no matter what anyone says.

Bonnie

[Stefanie_in_Mt]

I would be understanding, but like Michelle-h said, the rest of the world make's it pretty hard on us, so I would just try to explain to him what he's in for,

[Barb Valentine]

Think of how this sounds
" Hi Dad may I borrow your bra tonight"

[Veronica E. Scott]

The only one I would have to worry about is my grandson,I have seen him in his sisters clothes once (his sister is his twin,not identical)they were just playing dressup innocent right(somebody any body right)well lets just hope so I would have to support him if his mother would let me.(my daughter)

[trannie T]

STAY OUT OF DADDY'S LINGERIE DRAWER!

[MarinaTwelve200]

I would support my kid, BUT I would caution him to be careful and keep it under wraps---as many people do not understand, and could cause him difficulty if the wrong folks found out.

[Jennaie]

I would have told him that he looked very cute in whatever he was wearing. Then I would have ask him if he wanted me to buy him some things he could wear that belonged to him.

After that, I would be asking him several questions to try and find out exactly what his sexual identity was and if his mother and I needed to take action to try to help him along his journey.

I have read several threads like this and I never see anyone posting concerns of their sons or daughters being transexual vs just crossdressers. What would you do if your son or daughter through long talks with you revealed that they wanted to be a girl or a boy instead of the sex they were born with?

When a child is entering puberty there is no better time to act on such an issue.

[Deborah]

I wouldn't confront him or encourage it either. I'll let him figure it out on his own like i had to.

[Kimberley]

...I have read several threads like this and I never see anyone posting concerns of their sons or daughters being transexual vs just crossdressers. What would you do if your son or daughter through long talks with you revealed that they wanted to be a girl or a boy instead of the sex they were born with?

When a child is entering puberty there is no better time to act on such an issue.
***********
Excellent question Jennaie.

I would walk beside him/her every step of the way. I would want to make sure they were making the right decisions and if they wanted transition in their late teens I would do everything I could to help them out. The chances of success in life are much higher when we transition young. That isnt to say that it doesnt happen with later transitions, just that being young provides for greater options. At least that is my opinion.

For us there is little option, or rather the option is a life of misery.


Thanks for asking this one hon.
:hugs:
Kimberley.

[Jeanine]

I think that all kids, especially boys, experiment with crossdressing at some time in their early sexual development. So I wouldn't make a big deal out of
the crossderssing if it only occoured a few times ... But if the child continued to crossdress on a regular basis like I did when I was 12 and 13, I'd do exactly what My Mom did and I would take the child to see a profrssional councilor.

My councilor was a young woman with a PhD degree in counciling, and after a few sessions, she correctly identified the fact that because I had developed feminine breasts from Gynecomastia and I had a very feminine body as well,
so, I had a genuine psychological need to express my identity as a female.

At that point,she invited my Mom and mt three older sisters to attend our counciling sessions so she could explain that it would be much better for me if my family recognized my psychological need to be accapted in my femimine roll and if the whole family treated me as a female, and they allowed me to express my femininity and to derss as a female whenever I wanted to.

The counciling worked out well for me and my family and I would highly recommend it as the way to go if your child has a problem with "Gender Identity"
like I did.
Hugs to all,
Jeanine

[Helen MC]

I have no children and never will but if I did have a son who cross-dressed I would facilitate matters for him behind the scenes, e.g. buy him panties, skirts etc in the right size, and leave it to him to go as far as he was comfortable with, the exact 180 degree opposite response to how my own father would have reacted had he ever found out of my CD activities, which owing to the strict security precautions I practiced he never did.

[Shelly Preston]

This is a subject in which you have to be very careful

Is the crosdressing just an experiment ?
I would not do anything to encourage or discourage untill I found out more. The only thing would be if you find some items of female clothing you know are his. I would suggest when they need washed get them clean and return them all neat and folded. If this happens then he will realise you are obviously not worried about it. The only real thing I would have a concern about is that he is not stealing the clothes. In depth discussion can be done later.

[Kate Simmons]

They would be on their own, Barb but I would tell them to have fun and enjoy being themselves. Ericka

[stephanie100]

The usual long didcusstion then tell them if he or she wanted a safe place to dress to come here ( though i doudt they would ) then let them know that whatever they decide id be here for them. finnally introduce them to this site.
and change the avature.
Steph:love:

[pedebra]

I would not berate, reprimand or belittle him. At the same time I would not encourage him; crossdressing can be so lonely. Time would tell if it were a phase in his development or whether CDing was a part of him. I would let him know that I would love and accept him no matter what.
Debra

[Clare]

I would offer neutral support and understanding until he knew for certain whether it was a phase he was going through or something more permanent. Then I'd know whether to encourage him or let it be a part of his childhood past and never be mentioned again.

I know it's what I would have wanted if I'd had the same opportunity.


We all know that we started crossdressing at a young age
I'm just curious what would you say or do if you found out that one of your children was crossdressing

[Wendy me]

well the veary last thing i would do would be to try to do anything that would show closed minded thinking .... i would be supportive but not pushy as being the parent it might give them the feeling that thay were ready to do something thay were not comfy with or ready for...

[Sharon]

I would not encourage or discourage my child, but I would answer any question he or she may have as honestly and completely as possible.

[MsEva]

These are all wonderful answers and are all true dependin upon the circumstances. I find it comforting that we have an open mind and show compassion and understanding for the young boy or girl in troubling and confusing times for their development. I wish you were my parents!

[britney1]

Ok, obviously we would all be supportive of our children, but in today's society, How would be viewed as parents? Many of you said you would buy them "panties" and other things. How would the courts view this? Would you be at risk for loosing your children? Is this considered sexual immoratlity? I am not saying I agree, but it's the way the public views it. Wow, what a messed up world we live in. If I bought my daughter a button up shirt and jeans or even male boxers, nobody would think twice, but if I bought my son a g-sting I would be a bad parent.

[Kimberley]

Ok, obviously we would all be supportive of our children, but in today's society, How would be viewed as parents? Many of you said you would buy them "panties" and other things. How would the courts view this? Would you be at risk for loosing your children? Is this considered sexual immoratlity? I am not saying I agree, but it's the way the public views it. Wow, what a messed up world we live in. If I bought my daughter a button up shirt and jeans or even male boxers, nobody would think twice, but if I bought my son a g-sting I would be a bad parent.
*************
Here in the Great White North a former Prime Minister once stated that the government has no business in the nation's bedrooms.

There is a difference between being an abusive or neglectful parent and one who is caring and loving. Helping your child find his/her way through life is anything but abusive.

Since when does the law tell us how to raise our children? When did the laws change to tell us how they must dress? Who are these morality police? Geez, when things go that far then our society is no better than that of many of the 3rd world nations (translation: Islamic) we are trying to help.

Our society is secular although it does seem to be under a massive bombardment from the religious right. The day ANY religious or legal arm tells me how to raise my child is the day I leave because all efforts to retain that secularism is lost.

We have an obligation to protect our children and that means at all costs. If my child is TS then you can be damned sure no one is going to interfere with my legal and moral rights to raise him or her to be a happy, well adjusted and contributing person to society. Who cares if s/he is TV,CD,TG or TS as long as s/he is caring and sensitive to the needs of others.

End of Rant. :mad:

Kimberley.

[Scrunchie-Bunchie]

Heh. My 8year old stepson loves fooling around with my wife's bra - holding it in front and walking around. Mind, I play with my wife's bras too - I put them on my head like a yamoka. They're a bit bigger than my bras. My stepson has also been known to put lipstick on himself and has held still while my mother-in-law puts it on him too.

My first cross-dressing was when I was 3 or 4. I used to love wearing my mothers heels and got my mother to wrap me in a curtain so that I looked like a lady in a picture that was hanging on the wall.

[Siobhan Marie]

I would not encourage or discourage my child, but I would answer any question he or she may have as honestly and completely as possible.

:iagree: with Sharon on this as that is exactly what I would do if I found any of my children were crossdressing.

:hugs: Anna x

[Rhonda Jean]

I have 2 boys, 18 and 14. I discourage anything that could remotely be thought of as crossdressing. I'd love to say I'd be open and welcoming, but this is not a hypothetical to me. Sorry, but I don't want to be the one to "flip the switch". I already know that everybody is going to come down on me for this unpopular attitude.

[Kimberley]

I have 2 boys, 18 and 14. I discourage anything that could remotely be thought of as crossdressing. I'd love to say I'd be open and welcoming, but this is not a hypothetical to me. Sorry, but I don't want to be the one to "flip the switch". I already know that everybody is going to come down on me for this unpopular attitude.
**************
Rhonda, Please dont think I am being critical, I am not. My thought is: Are you specifically targeting opinions on CDing or are you being more broad in discouraging a greater spectrum of tolerance of diversity?

I have 2 adult children who were taught tolerance. Both are hetero, both are good people. Both are sensitive and caring to the needs of others. As a parent I believe I have achieved the ultimate goal of raising a child.

I have to wonder why you are taking this approach with your children. Is there a purpose to it?

Oh and just as a side note, my 6'2' 215 lb bruiser of a son is no sissy in any way shape or form. You sure wouldnt want to square off with him on a soccer, football field or in the ring.

Kimberley

[Barb Valentine]

I have 2 boys, 18 and 14. I discourage anything that could remotely be thought of as crossdressing. I'd love to say I'd be open and welcoming, but this is not a hypothetical to me. Sorry, but I don't want to be the one to "flip the switch". I already know that everybody is going to come down on me for this unpopular attitude.

Hi Ronda
I believe that this is your opinion whether I agree with it or not, it is your opinion and thank you for being honest
:hugs:
barb

[Rhonda Jean]

Well, let's see. It's not so much that I try to teach intolerance of others, I'm just hyper-sensitive to cross gender behavior in them. For instance, it's not uncommon anymore to see boys their age with long har, earrings, nailpolish, girl's jeans, etc.. I would forbid all these things for them. I say "would" because none of it has come up, but if it did, I'd say NO.

I'm quite the hypocrite when it comes to this. Obviously, I'm a lifelong practicing crossdresser. I wear my mails long and have long hair,but those oare the only outward signals. Also, actually silently applaud those boys and their parents who can pull of a girly look in public. The girlier the better.

It probably has something to do with the personalities of my kids. If they really had some feminine leanings it might be a different story. I don't know. All I can specifically speak to is my situation as it is.

[unclejoann]

CDing is so lonely for many of us adults, so if we had a chance to give a young person a safe haven and an understanding ear they may not share that loneliness. There is social progress and perhaps as they mature they would contribute to that progress. I would be optimistic, which is usually so unlike me.

[Joy Carter]

I'd sure have the BIG talk with him or her but the decision would be up to them if they wanted to dress as they feel. I know that it took me fifty plus years to accept myself I would wish that on anyone.