Going out...THE MALL...getting "read"...

[Ranee Daze]

My very best memories of crossdressing have to do with the planned day-trip to the mall for wigs, makeup and trying on shoes and fashions. There are so many threads about getting out into public, most about getting read. Maybe I can put some minds at ease. Let's start with a simple fact:

99% OF THE TIME YOU WILL GET READ AS A (LOVELY) GUY IN A DRESS.

Now for a few facts:

1 - With even a little effort on the clothes and dress front most of us look better than the average GG at the mall, no really!

2 - With that same effort, even though we will almost certainly get read as a man in a dress, we are not very likely to be "read" as our true manself. It is a good idea to keep the talking down to a minimum in open public though. People really remember voices better than looks.

3 - Fewer and fewer people care, or are offended by crossdressers, especially tastefully dressed ones. Some even like the idea.

4 - This one is very important, for the fun that awaits you is simply delicious.

THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO 'WANT' TO MEET YOU!!!!!

"Who?", you ask? Commission sales people, that's who. Take the cosmetics counters at Sears, The Bay (Canada), etc. Especially at MAC, or Cargo, these people are very open to helping you because a relationship with you affects their bottom line. Also, they all really love doing makeup. In my thirty years of stepping out I a) never saw anyone I knew, or who knew me, at a counter. and b) was never turned away if I was interested in buying a product. What works is to be honest and say " Hi, I'm new at this, and just a tad nervous, (pity really works) and your lips/shadows/lashes...are so lovely. could you show me a few things? I'd like to get a lipstick which will work well for me but I don't want to waste money on something which won't do. Is it possible to just try something?" This has worked over and over. My last time I got a whole makeover and two free Clinique lipsticks!
The same tactic will work perfectly at high-end dress stores because the salespeople work on commission. My last time out at Melanie-Lyne (Canadian, fabulous) and Laura Boutique, they kept bringing dress after dress. They tired me right out, and I got to see what looks good and what doesn't. Talk to them, ask questions, they love to talk about fashion and know your size beforehand so you don't tear an expensive dress that's too small somewhere. **Take a piece of string for those back zippers. Always ask for their card. This also worked well at The Bay wig boutique, where I actually bought a gorgeous wig.
There is a world of people out there who want to meet you. Take your time, scout out the mall and stores en drab a few days before. Know where the powder rooms are! Plan, plan, plan and have the fun that is out there for you. It always was for me.

[Ranee Daze]

Simple advice for getting into dresses without the saleslady's help. Take along a strong piece of string or cord long enough to loop through the zipper tab so you can do those gorgeous back sippers yourself.

[Phyliss]

Perfect timing with your advice. My sister has planned a "trip" for me and her to happen at the end of the month.

Thanks I need that.

[sky0629]

Thank you sounds like great advise. If and when i get brave enough i'm following your direction's.
sky

[Deidra Cowen]

99% OF THE TIME YOU WILL GET READ AS A (LOVELY) GUY IN A DRESS.

Nope! 90% of the people will pay no attention to ya since they are lost in their own little world of worries, thoughts and day dreams as they walk about the mall.

8% will notice you but the cloths, makeup and hair fool em and they just think Fem without looking too close.

2% will clock you. These are mainly teenage girls! :eek:

Of course all bets are off when I open my mouth and talk (I guess this is true for most of u other girls since in the chat rooms your voices are as bad as mine :tongueout ).

I was in the mac store and it was packed with mainly upper middle class housewife types. I live kinda at the edge of the suburbs here. Anyway when the clerk asked me what I needed and I used my guy voice to start picking out lipsticks, foundation, etc.... out of the corners of my eyes I could see all those women looking over at me in surprise. They had not really tuned in to me till that point.

But regardless an interesting thread u started.

[Kate Simmons]

I stay away from them. No thrill there for me. Hate those damn "mall rats" too. I'd rather go shopping in a nice strip mall or outlet store. Ericka

[Kristen Kelly]

Simple advice for getting into dresses without the saleslady's help. Take along a strong piece of string or cord long enough to loop through the zipper tab so you can do those gorgeous back sippers yourself.
I keep one of my garden ties (plastic coated wire) about a foot long coiled into my wallet great in case of emergency too.

When I go to the mall I dress down in a pair of jeans, nice top and my pink or blue and white sneakers, easy on the makeup, and have never had a problem. Most of the time I miss the attention I recieved when read, just one of the girls.

[paulaN]

how true, how true, very good post. And deidra hit the nail prety good too.

[Joanie]

Nope! 90% of the people will pay no attention to ya since they are lost in their own little world of worries, thoughts and day dreams as they walk about the mall.

8% will notice you but the cloths, makeup and hair fool em and they just think Fem without looking too close.

2% will clock you. These are mainly teenage girls! :eek:

Of course all bets are off when I open my mouth and talk (I guess this is true for most of u other girls since in the chat rooms your voices are as bad as mine :tongueout ).

I was in the mac store and it was packed with mainly upper middle class housewife types. I live kinda at the edge of the suburbs here. Anyway when the clerk asked me what I needed and I used my guy voice to start picking out lipsticks, foundation, etc.... out of the corners of my eyes I could see all those women looking over at me in surprise. They had not really tuned in to me till that point.

But regardless an interesting thread u started.

MAC in Atlanta, the one I keep meaning to get too. So, other than surprise, how was the reaction? Positive, negative, probably mainly curious.

I remember having my first makeover in this tanning salon area of a Merle Norman for privacy. One woman stuck her head in the door just to say hello in a friendly way, guess she had heard one of the women there mention me. Think that is probably the biggest reaction from women, when they show it-curiousity.

[Deidra Cowen]

MAC in Atlanta, the one I keep meaning to get too. So, other than surprise, how was the reaction? Positive, negative, probably mainly curious.

I remember having my first makeover in this tanning salon area of a Merle Norman for privacy. One woman stuck her head in the door just to say hello in a friendly way, guess she had heard one of the women there mention me. Think that is probably the biggest reaction from women, when they show it-curiousity.

Mainly curious that time from the customers in the shop. The clerks at the MAC story are always postive and friendly. Sometimes I get postive reactions sometimes negative.

Probably the worst case was at the liquor store near where I live. This really beautiful blonde lady had an absolute look of fear on her face when she clocked me in the store. Really was a downer but my GG friend laughed her butt off in the car. Turns out my tuck job had gone bad and with the tight jeans i was wearing I was a wild sight! True story by the way and I learned a lesson to watch out for that when out. Plus I've gotten better at tucking.

I think thats cool the lady liked ya at the makeover you had at the Merle Norman!

[Jannette H]

Ranee Daze, you are right about CDs being read:happy: We seem to have this vanity problem, we look to neat and nothing is out of place on us ladies. A GG manager in a store told me this. You know, she is right.

Jannette H

[Joanie]

I think the natural friendliness of most women works to my advantage, as long as I overcome my shyness and act like no big deal, they respond. Course, this is someone talking who has NEVER dressed in public but has encountered women while I have had makeovers, shopped, etc. The instance other than the Merle Norman was in a a shoe store. this woman walked around the corner looking for shoes and saw me trying on a pair of pumps dressed in drab but still managed to smile, that was pretty good.

[KateW]

I have only ever had positive comments from females. I think it is in their nature to compliment peoples clothes, hair etc, which works out well for us.

[Phoebe Reece]

It's been my experience that the more expensive the store, the better you will be treated as a crossdresser. One night several of us went in a Saks Fifth Avenue store at an upscale mall and the salespeople were coming out of the woodwork wanting to show us things and make a sale. They didn't see a group of crossdressers. They just saw walking dollar signs.

[Phyliss]

I guess I shouldn't try to read until I've had some coffee:

Deidra was speaking about "guy voice" and that thought was staying with me and then Kristen posted this: "I keep one of my garden ties (plastic coated wire) about a foot long coiled into my wallet great in case of emergency..."

I had this sudden thought of what to do with it to CHANGE your voice and said to myself "NO WAY"
Continued reading and realized it was for a zipper, felt relieved.

[Kera_Efflorescence]

Nope! 90% of the people will pay no attention to ya since they are lost in their own little world of worries, thoughts and day dreams as they walk about the mall.

8% will notice you but the cloths, makeup and hair fool em and they just think Fem without looking too close.

2% will clock you. These are mainly teenage girls! :eek:


I dunno, I think it's more like:

65% won't notice you at all
15% will think you're female without really noticing
12% will clock you, or at least think you look odd/questionable, but not care
8% will clock you, but hopefully won't do more than stare a little oddly.

... and then occasionally you you get someone from that last 8% who acts really obvious about clocking you.

This all depends, of course, on many factors, such as how well you pass, how inconspicuous you are, and the area you're in (I'd imagine blatent crossdressers get a lot more looks in small hick towns than in big cities).

But then, I haven't been out nearly as much as many others on this site, so maybe I'm way off here.

[Adrienne Heels]

I was browsing in the consignment shop yesterday in drab along with several GGs. I was even looking at the same racks as them. I made several trips into the fitting room and even came out to ask the SA's opinion on a couple of items while other customers were there. None of them even paid me any attention.

[Nikki Dee]

Okay, I'm just a wee bit confused here, so mayhaps you can clear something up for me. You talk about 30 years of stepping out, yet in your other thread you talk about being in the closet. So, which is it, or am I reading something wrong here?

Karen
Hiya Ranee...I'm confused too...!!!...only a short while ago you were definitely giving up cross-dressing for good...and wanting advice on how to do it.????...What changed.?
Nikki.

[KateW]

Hiya Ranee...I'm confused too...!!!...only a short while ago you were definitely giving up cross-dressing for good...and wanting advice on how to do it.????...What changed.?
Nikki.

I have given up for good lots of times! Never lasts long though... :-)