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EricaCD
06-15-2006, 09:54 PM
Note to all: this is essentially a copy of my most recent blog entry. Usually I try not to cannibalize my own writing. But I thought I'd give you an update as to the relationship situation since my wife indicated she wanted to learn more about my crossdressing a couple months ago. Any of you who read my blog can skip this :)

First, though, a digression... I finally got some dressing time in last night (first time in 2 weeks!), which was just terrific. I decided to go with a casual look. Minimal makeup (in a closeup you can actually see my freckles), no jewelry, no nail polish. Fem t-shirt and denim mini. I have placed a couple photos in the gallery at my 360 page; judge for yourself if you think Erica looks ok in casual attire. Sorry to not post anything here but I am omitting pictures here to avoid any discomfort should my SO choose to read my posts.

The important part of last night's dressup is that it took place in our house, with everyone home! (Separate floor, so no chance of anyone barging in on me.) Which means, as you have no doubt surmised, that my wife has agreed with me that dressing at home, after the kids' bedtimes, is ok. The discussion that led to this point was calm, candid and pleasant. We also agreed that I can take over one of the unused third floor closets for Erica's stuff. In a purely selfish sense this is all great. I needed the space, and I needed a way to let Erica out of the cage every now and then without running to a hotel or our apartment in the city.

More importantly, this is pretty indicative of how the relationship has been doing since Erica re-announced her presence to an unsuspecting wife. Looking back on the discussions we have had, none were unpleasant. None were even too emotionally distraught. My wife has acknowledged that she is basically through the panicky stage. She is a long way away from anything like true "acceptance" and she has made it utterly clear that she wants no personal involvement with me when I am en femme. Both of which are perfectly reasonable requests.

We still have some marginal differences of opinion. I'd really like to be able to do more about shaving, but that's still a big point of personal discomfort to her. On the other hand, she has been great about not getting upset when I inject a little bit of Erica into our conversations. She has not flinched as I have gone from envying some of her clothes silently to telling her as much. (Though we are both clear that my clothes are mine and hers are hers.) She gave me a beautiful new chemise that she had bought for herself but that did not fit her well (fits me wonderfully!!!). She has indicated that she might be willing to listen to Erica's requests for gifts - though I plan to confine myself to non-clothing items for quite a while. Just as well, really: Erica needs a lot of jewelry :)

Would I like her to spend more time talking about my CDing? Sure. Reading up on her own and learning everything she can? Of course. But at the same time, looking back at the totality of the last couple months, I would be an absolute fool to feel anything other than relief, happiness at her progress and gratitude for her understanding.

I knew I had picked a winner 18 years ago. It's nice to have my faith in her confirmed so fully by her conduct in addressing a very thorny matter. I look forward, with great eagerness, to see what the next few months brings.

Love,
Erica

KateW
06-15-2006, 10:21 PM
I am glad things are going well between you and your wife, and that she has been so accepting. My SO initially had the same thoughts regarding the removal of body hair, but after a few months she was completely cool with it - and even brought me a PINK (!!!) venus lady shaver when she went shopping.

It's great having your own closet to keep stuff in too... much better then cramming everything into a bag and burying it in the garden!

GG Vanya
06-15-2006, 10:42 PM
Erica it was an absolute thrill to read your post~! I wish this could be made a sticky, for all new members to read...CD or SO.

You and your wife are a perfect example of what love can do, when both parties are patient and caring. Your concern for her emotions and 'comfort' ooze from every sentence of this post. I'm sure that concern is what is enabling her to take baby steps toward acceptance of the whole you. :happy:

And for your wife, if she does in fact read this, I say: You definitely married a "keeper"!

I look forward to your next progress report~!

Sarah Rabbit
06-15-2006, 11:00 PM
That is Fantastic progress. As for shaving, my S.O. draws the line there. I can do my legs and keep the never regions trimmed(Shaven) but the chest hair and under arm must stay. A small price to pay for Sarahs acceptance:D

Sarah R. :bunny:

uknowhoo
06-16-2006, 09:01 AM
Vanya wrote everything I was going to say !

What a nice warm-fuzzy I got from reading your post Erica. I am truly happy for you both.

xoxo

Tammi

kathy gg
06-16-2006, 09:36 AM
Erica it sounds like you have a very loving wife. She sounds like she is pretty level headed and has sort of realized that this is important for you. And she is being clear on what her limitations are. When both people communicate what their needs are there is no guessing or wondering or false hope. That false hope can be a real tough one for couples {guy hoping she will get into more...girl hoping he willl stop}. So she seems to be on the right track.

I think with patience and mutual respect like you both seem to be showing each other your future looks very bright. Maybe not with participation, but at least you can be yourself...which is mroe than alot of folks on here get to ever be.
Bug hugs and as always best of luck!

Joy Carter
06-16-2006, 01:28 PM
Thanks for sharing this with us Erica so important to be open with her and show concern for her feelings. I have turned a small corner with my SO or at least she doesn't cry when I bring up the subject now.

paulaN
06-16-2006, 03:58 PM
It so wonderful you have come as far as you have. I am at just about the same place as you. and it has stayed this way for years now. Although I hope you can get more understanding than I have, it would be wise not to get your hopes up. Best of luck to ya.

Julie Avery
06-16-2006, 04:04 PM
Erica, this sounds to me like it's sounding to you: a good situation.

Doug

dancinginthedark
06-16-2006, 04:45 PM
Erica,
I am so happy and relieved to hear of the progress you and your wife are making. As the two of you have shown us it's amazing what love can do. Thank you for sharing. :hugs: It does a heart good to read posts were loving compromise by both parties leads the way.
Hugs,
Mae

PS~ I think you are both keepers kiddo. :love:

DanaJ
06-16-2006, 06:59 PM
Erica - a big :thumbsup: from me too, I love reading these sort of posts :)