Came out to my wife - did'nt go well!!

[lonontop]

Hi girls, just want to ask for your help. I realy want to go out dressed up as a woman as I've just told my wife and now feel free to explore my true self. I need some tips and help in the make-up department. I just cant seem to hide that dam beard line any suggestions? how do you think I look out of 10, be honest 1 been very male and 10 been all woman. My does not not want to see me dressed up and won't help with my make-up, things are a bit tense. Hope things work out because I still love her and i don't want to split the family apart as we have 2 young kids [boy 6 and girl 3]. Feel free to email be with any advise, Luv Lou. :confused:

[DonnaT]

Well, I won't give the picture a rating, but will comment on it. The eye color is all wrong. Green with blue eyes doesn't work. Also, the lipstick is too red. A lot of CDs love red, but it is a dead givaway. Pink would be much better.

Visit the cover girl web pages and it will help you find your colors.

With regard to your wife, my wife has known for most of our 29 year marrieage and still has trouble with it. I haven't been out enfemme yet, but we are planning to attend an event in Northern Virginia on the 4th of Dec.

In my opinion, it is a big mistake to push something like this on your wife. There should be a lot of talking and mutual respect for what each of you have to say.

If you can, try to get her to visit Dixie Darling's web pages at http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd/menu.htm You might want to check it out also, as it has some things that may help you discuss CDing with your wife. To me, it is imperative that the SO knows that this is something the CDer is born with and that there is no known cure.

[Sharon]

There must be a script given to every woman on the offchance that she'll marry a crossdresser! Julie, those questions are exactly what my wife asked me -- verbatim, word for word, one question after the next.
And be prepared to be asked the same questions again as you expand on your dressing up.

[Sweet Susan]

This may sound vain, but one of the things that really worked for me when I presented Susan to my wife was how convincing I appeared to her. She said that had she not known who I was she wouldn't have looked twice at me in a room, because I looked liked the rest of the girls. She also said that when I am dressed I don't look shocking, and it makes it easier for her to tolerate. I guess what I am saying is to try to be as sensible and presentable as possible.

[lonontop]

I'm trying realy hard with my wife,but the day after she had already made up her mind that we will have to sale the house and live apart. she just can't see herself living with me if I want to be a woman. I love her and the kids so much and will try anything to kep us together. But I know if I don't follow my heart and transform my body into a woman I go mad or even worse in time.

[maidtina]

Hi girls, just want to ask for your help. I realy want to go out dressed up as a woman as I've just told my wife and now feel free to explore my true self.

Slow down girl! SLOW DOWN

You may have been thinking about this for a long time but you seem to have just dropped it on your wife as a one hit bomb shell. Back off. Give her time and space to work out her own feelings about this issue before she even begins to think about her reaction to you.

Coming to terms with the fact that you're a TV or even TS is a huge step without even considering that you want to take things further.



I need some tips and help in the make-up department. I just cant seem to hide that dam beard line any suggestions? how do you think I look out of 10, be honest 1 been very male and 10 been all woman.

Sorry to have to be cruel and say this but that's "a man in a frock". Guess I should know I've been one for years.

I've only been playing with makeup for a few months so I can't offer a lot of advice beyond practice, practice, practice. For beard/stubble lines I can only suggest a heavy foundation such as MaxFactors Pan Stick or the one that works for me is Dermablend.

The lips are too red. Try a pink.

As for the eyeshadow I'm still trying to find my own colour so can't help at all there.



My does not not want to see me dressed up and won't help with my make-up, things are a bit tense.

As I've already said. Slow down and try to give her time to adjust. Now she knows, I'd suggest doing nothing but being more attentive to her needs and let her be the first to raise the subject when shes ready. That could easily be weeks or months, remember it's taken you years to reach the point you have.

ps. My wife won't help me with my makeup beyond telling me what looks good and what doesn't (mostly bad to date). Only time she tried she nearly had my eye out so we decided to call that a day.

[StephanieCD]

FREEZE! Hold it. You just gave her a bomb. It's her turn now. Don't do anything. Wait. Breathe. Wait. Don't harp on her. Have discussions. Breathe. Wait. If you want her to accept it give her some control.

[Nikki A.]

Yes it is hard on you but it is even harder on her. Slow down give her some time and try to understand her point of view. Talk to her and more importantly listen to what she has to say. You both have a lot invested and please think about your kids.

[racquel]

don't want to sound like a stuck record(remember them)but slow down.you had all your life to adjust give her time.don't dress for awhile,pamper her,spoil her,spend time with the kids.re-inforce the image of the person she fell in love with and bore children with.she knows,she will think on it,she loves you,re-assure her you are the same person.