effeminate men

[veronica7]

the more I feel Veronica I noticing im have a hard time acting normal as a man. I don't think being an effeminate man is something that works for me. Do you trying change your male self to accomidate those feelings...I certainly find it hard seperating two sides...anybody know what im talking about?

[Marla S]

I always had problems to separate "my male self" or "my female self".
I like to wear clothes of the opposite sex, but that doesn't mean I am schizophrenic.
It's always the same person that ever had some attitudes or gestures one would label male or female. Yes, some are more or less pornounced and trained depending on the clothes and some "cross the border". But the effect is not much different from wearing casual or tuxedo. Usualy wearing a tuxedo I act more like a gentleman than dressed casual.

Fine feathers make fine birds.

So I think it's nothing to worry about.

[Teresa Amina]

the more I feel Veronica I noticing im have a hard time acting normal as a man. I don't think being an effeminate man is something that works for me. Do you trying change your male self to accomidate those feelings...I certainly find it hard seperating two sides...anybody know what im talking about?

How effeminate do you think you're behaving in guy-mode? It may really be a very slight difference from what you have been seen as. It's easy to get paranoid. The more relaxed I become as Teresa the more undoubtedly "leaks through". But while I occaisionally get what might be a strange reaction to something I haven't had any problems with the people I interact with regularly. Part of the problem may be that you're seeing Veronica as a seperate person. It's just You in there, ya know!

[Kate Simmons]

Nope, Both of my "selves" are balanced Veronica, so I'm somewhere in the middle and act the same way as both. Kind of unisex in a way. Ericka

[Angie G]

Hi Veronica I separate the to just fine with no problem maybe its just me.
Angie G

[Siobhan Marie]

I manage to keep Bruey and Anna balanced, but have noticed recently that I have problems being just Bruey for long periods of time. So I'd say that you're not alone.

:hugs: Anna x

[Jennaie]

Just don't hold your hand out for man to kiss when your introduced. That will really make them wonder. :p

[veronica7]

In few hours since I posted this, I have realised I wish to have one permanet self, regardless of how im dressed, the unisex solution. I guess its how much I want to discard of the male side permantly, yknow to always feel like your dealing with the world as the person you want to be.

[Clare]

I don't find myself changing my fundamental persona because I change my style of clothing occassionly (well ok, regulary!).

I think if you were effeminiate, you'd have been born that way, as opposed to developing a sense of effeminism. Ok, so female mannerisms may occur because of your crossdressing, but that's different to being effeminiate isn't it?

[Joanie B]

How effeminate do you think you're behaving in guy-mode? It may really be a very slight difference from what you have been seen as. It's easy to get paranoid. The more relaxed I become as Teresa the more undoubtedly "leaks through". But while I occaisionally get what might be a strange reaction to something I haven't had any problems with the people I interact with regularly. Part of the problem may be that you're seeing Veronica as a seperate person. It's just You in there, ya know!

Hi,
I see myself as more a "part timeTG" than just a CD, so for me it is not just about the clothes. Sometimes if i am on the phone, I can be just as fem regardless of how I am dressed. Since I spend a lot of time in female mode over the weekend, it is harder for me to let go of that even when not dressed. I am told I talk with my hands alot, even in male mode. I have asked a trusted co worker if I seem swishy at work to let me know, and so far she has said nothing.

My conclusion is that for most of us, at least me, I THINK I am probably more effeminate, but probably most people don't notice it or don't see it. So I am trying not to worry about it. On the other hand, if I catch myself using effeminate gestures in male mode, I try to control myself.

Joanie B.

[JoannaDees]

I have no problem being ... what? shut up. I know Kohl's has a sale and that top is really cute but ... myself. No problem whatsoever.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Veronica, something to consider is that we already typically provide wear faces in different contexts. For example, you probably have behaved differently around co-workers than when visiting your parents.

So while you can be one person, what parts of you that you present to other is up to you to choose. Myself, I'm overall fairly androgynous so I tend to move from somewhat masculine of center en homme to somewhat feminine of center en femme.

It's also worth remember that gender is a part a "performance" (otherwise we wouldn't be able to blend in). So you could look at being en homme as Veronica engaging in some FTM crossdressing. In other words, if I can play the game to present myself as feminine, I can do the same in situations where I'm expected to be macho. (Granted it "playing the part" for an extended period of time can be tiring.)

Anyway, these may -- or may not -- be things to explore, depending on whether you think they fit you.

[Annesah]

I don't think of Annesah as an effeminate man. She just IS! And I have no problem with her. :happy:

[Kate Simmons]

In few hours since I posted this, I have realised I wish to have one permanet self, regardless of how im dressed, the unisex solution. I guess its how much I want to discard of the male side permantly, yknow to always feel like your dealing with the world as the person you want to be.
Works for me, Hon. Ericka

[Carroll]

I find that I have two personality's. Carroll does house work, tends to be soft spoken and has most mannerism of a women (walking, talking, etc..) while Chris is basiclly one of the guys. Talk like a typical male, an aggressive drummer in a classic rock band, stuff like that. I will jokenly act "girly" with the guys in the band because they not like anything LGBT.

Carroll

[danielle_from_cal]

I think effeminate men are wonderful. I wish I knew more of them. I suggest you not fret over it. Feel free to be a bit effeminate when dressed like a man.

[Marla]

I love being feminine so much that I do in fact walk and act that way no matter how Im dressed. Ive been told in recent years that I behave kind of femine and of course I take that as a great compliment (even though it is probabably a put down). There is a large range of feminine movement and behavior but I try for the most and probably fall short of that. Crossdressing for me is like a passionate hobby and I will continue to perfect my femine self.
The other facet of femininity is mental and so I try to feel like a woman also. This has allowed me to understand how women feel and understand my own femine side. Dont hide what you are. You are special because of it!

[Esther]

I don't think that, beginning in about 8th grade, I watched and studied girls to imitate how they sat, how they wrote, how they carried their books, what they wore, etc., to not be effeminate.

[avawho]

I know from my experiences that I'm basically one person but with two very different viewpoints depending upon how I'm dressed... As long as I make a mental note of what I'm wearing, I seemingly do not make too many foibles...
However come to think about it, some of my co workers have teased me over the years as being the "token woman" around the office... which for some odd reason doesn't seem to bother me one little bit:D ...

Just have a checklist prior to engaging mouth in gear, walking out the door...

Cheers
Ava

[connie rotten]

I am most feminine when my genitals are tucked. I am more feminine when the are only pulled back. I am down right butch when they hang lose.:eek: