Question psychologist asked.

[DeeInGeorgia]

Back about a year ago, when my wife told her psychologist about my crossdressing, my wife said one of the first things out of her mouth was "Are the boys safe?". And when my wife told her older sister, her sister asked the same question, like I might have been molesting them. Has anyone else had the same thing asked about about them?

I have to say that at the time, I really came totally out of the closet, and my wife, while dealing with it, was able to educate the psychologist and her sister to some extent. But it could have not been easy. And my wife has since stopped seeing that psychologist.

Dee

[lostmyhubby GG]

Grrr why r so many people quick to judge???? my kids know about my partners cding...my daughter is thrilled cause we all go shopping together and my Son...well nothing phases him, they are 12 and 13...and great accepting kids...their father is also gay and has a wonderful partner, so my kids are exposed to a variety of lifestyles...and ya know what??? theyre ok.

[danielle_from_cal]

It's terrible that people think that, but it's to be expected. I am not sure if you are bisexual too but people probably think you are if they hear you are a crossdresser. But suppose you are bi or gay: Does that mean you want sex with little boys? Not likely! I'm bi and have never had a desire to touch a child in any way. But even I feel a little self conscious when I am around other people's kids. It's not that I want to touch them, or feel attracted in any way, it's just the way I know people think.

People think that you are a crossdresser, so they think you are bi or gay. And people tend to think (wrongly of course) that bis and gays will do it with anyone, no matter the age. They just don't know.

There is no easy way to get around this. Only time, trust, and love will get you through it.

[madylinecd]

the question :'are the boys safe' really upsets me.
i'm a crossdresser and look after my families kids reguraly
i'm super proctective of them,
and i'm sure you'd be the same.

[Alicia_lynn419]

I would have walked out of that psychologist's office. I have myself been in therapy for several years, and thank God, never with someone that shallow-minded (and I am also from Atlanta). I have a very good GG friend who is a psychologist, she knew about my CDing from the start, and she has NEVER made be feel that I was broken or needed to be "fixed"... she has even been out with me while dressed.

It is sad to say, but there are still mental health "professionals" who are behind the times.... but we must also remember that just a few short decades ago, the DMSV listed us as having a major personality disorder... again, thank God that somethings HAVE changed!

[Penny]

I can understand how the sister my have an ingnorant concern but the psychologist is a quack for sure.

[Bev06 GG]

Gawd Dee thats awful,
it just goes to show tho the degree of ignorance surrounding the whole thing. Alot of it is down to the fact that we overprotect our children and have become somewhat paranoid about paedophilia. Nevertheless, I do find the psychologists question a trifle confusing, I thought they were supposed to be trained in these areas. I have only studied psychology briefly as part of a university degree in Youth work, and even we discussed the gender roles and learnt that Crossdressers and TS were not a danger to society. When you think about it your wife showed great strength of character in trying to educate this person, there are some who'd have listened to those kind of comments and then worried. It could have caused you considerable problems.
BEVxxxx

[~Dee~]

Dee~
maybe its the name or something, but ive been in a similar situation.

there seems to be an initial jump to the idea that its all a fetish thing.
its about sex and kinky stuff .. ergo - danger signs start flashing and flags start going up.
when i came out as TS a friend ive known for about 15 years said "oh i totally accept, in fact im a bit offended that you think i wouldnt... that really hurt .. .. .. but you cant come near my kids anymore"
:raisedeyebrow:

it was an initial reaction of fear and not knowing the real thing behind it.
i laid out all the info i could and then i said for them to sleep on it - luckily they did relax after that.

but as for the psychologist and the training they get .. some dont know the first thing about it all. i went to uni with a psych major for a few years and i know that the only reference to transgendered in all my texts was a single paragraph in one book.
and i doubt that it ever came up in discussions or lectures.

the psychiatrist i first went to to get my ok letter basically flat out told me that they didnt believe in transexuality and that in his opinion all TS's are just closeted gays.
:rolleyes:

[rosiegurl]

I really, REALLY wish this attitude about children was about CD's, TV's, TG's or whichever, but really it isn't. it is about GM plain and simple. There are single Dads out there who got custoday of their children have the same questions asked about them, it is asked about gay men, especially when they are wanting to adopt a child, anything seen as a sexual quirk or kink only serves to heighten that fear in people.

now, is it bad? to a degree, labelling everyone with the same brush is always bad, not all men are murders, rapists or child molestors

is it good? again, to a degree yes. cause in those rare cases it does actually afford the child some protection, which I'm sure everyone will agree is a good thing.

like it or not people, we are living in a society that has these kinds of predetors around, and we do need something to protect the kids, it is just unfortunate that the rest, the vast majority, get tainted with the same reputation

[Kate Simmons]

Doesn't sound very professional Dee. The first time I went to my psychologist, the first thing out of her mouth was how are you doing? She was more concerned with my perception of myself and how I thought I looked in the eyes of my kids since they knew about me. I didn't openly tell them, they just figured it out. My only concern was that maybe the kids thought it would happen to them but I soon realized they were each their own person and my fears were groundless. Some people think automatically you are some kind of perv since you dress in women's clothes. They don't realize it's just an expression of part of yourself. I was just fortunate enough to pick a good therapist. Ericka

[Joy Carter]

One counselor was in total shock and told me not to do it. He did tell me that he had to go back and read up on CD just so he could answer me professionally ,Huh ? WTF ?

Another told me to have fun but don't get hurt.

Gee could I have saved some money.

[Dixie Darling]

Dee,

What it boils down to is that quite a lot of psychologists, as well as other professional people, aren't keeping up with their homework. From her comment "Are the boys safe?" it's very clear that this person is automatically associating crossdressing with sexual activity. Had they kept up their studies as they should have done they would understand that the two activities are seperate and distinct and would be aware that 90% of all crossdressers are totally heterosexual and have no interest in having sexual relations with anyone other than their wife/girlfriend.

Dixie - http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd

[EricaCD]

Boy, if you ever needed proof that we should confine ourselves to dealing with psychologists that specialize in transgender issues....

I for one do NOT give a psychologist any leeway on the grounds that "ignorance is an excuse", "it's an unusual condition" or "she had to read up on it". To be sure, I don't expect a professional to be omnicompetent in his/her field (god knows I am not). However, I absolutely expect a professional to do the necessary homework before venturing any professional opinions or advice. To make a leap from learning that a husband is a crossdresser to suggesting that he may also be a molester is malpractice, pure and simple.

Erica

[Marla S]

How likely it is that something you can't train off can be trained on to someone ?
You have to protect your children because of the social reaction and it might be wiser not to tell them (dunno), but I am positve that you can't make a CD this way.

You know the story of David Reimer (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Reimer)

Less dramatic: It has been shown that in kindergardens where they tried to eliminate or equalize gender specific behavior (boys allowed to play with dolls, girls with cars an the other way round, etc.) the gender typic behavior has been pronounced by the children themselves and showed more "genderseparation" for the adolescents than children with "classic education"

[Jenny Beth]

As with any professional there are those who got their degrees with flying colours and those who barely passed or cheated. Me thinks your wife's psychologist is the latter.....:mad:

[Niya W]

Well one of my girl friends had simillar experiance. Her wife are having problems over her dressing . The wife went to a shrink. The wife's shrink said I understand it but I dont aprove of it. Then wife couldnt understand why she would not go see her shrink for a group session.

As with any professional there are those who got their degrees with flying colours and those who barely passed or cheated. Me thinks your wife's psychologist is the latter.....:mad:
No I think its that shrinks are people too. Some are just straight ignorrant about certian things, others cary phobias around. People out there still think a gay make will try turn a young boy gay

[Jenny Beth]

No I think its that shrinks are people too. Some are just straight ignorrant about certian things, others cary phobias around. People out there still think a gay make will try turn a young boy gay


My point exactly.....this is a shrink who clearly hasn't taken the time to educate herself.

[Tamara Barclay]

My ex had a "shrink" that posed the same question. The "doctor" told her that any kids we were to have would be at a substantial risk of being molested, as most crossdressers are child molesters.

As a side issue, this same "doctor" did gender and gay counseling!

And me current wife wonders why I don't go to see a shrink any more!!!

[Shelly Preston]

It's at times like this you wonder if they ever did any training at all.

[Niya W]

My ex had a "shrink" that posed the same question. The "doctor" told her that any kids we were to have would be at a substantial risk of being molested, as most crossdressers are child molesters.

As a side issue, this same "doctor" did gender and gay counseling!

And me current wife wonders why I don't go to see a shrink any more!!!
um does he try to convince gays they can be straight too ?

does he testfiy in divorce proceedings for tghe wife ??

I couldsee him trying justify a gay panic defense

[sparks]

I don't know if this relates at all but here is my take! My wife is not overly thrilled with the dressing stuff and worries about the children's safety. Not from me directly but what if my seven year old was spy Dad dressed in lingeries or if one of their friends notice I've got a Bra on under my shirt. These are issues that concern Mothers and really they should concern us as well.

[unclejoann]

I met a psychologist years ago who told me that when he was getting his degree, they came to the chapter on Tourette Syndrome and the professor said they would skip that chapter because "you'll never meet one." Well, of course, he ended up marrying one and all his kids have it too.

I suspect that the chapter on crossdressing is skipped a lot too, but on the other hand it may not be factual anyway. I haven't read the DSM on crossdressing in a long time, wonder what it says.

[Marla S]

I think about telling my therapist. Probably - not decided yet.
If, I am really curious about his reaction :D , as he is not an gender specialist.

[Christina Nicole]

There is a very strong tendency for gay men to engage in sex with young boys and teens. As one peruses the threads here, it is readily apparent that many cross dressers seem to have gay urges therefore, why should that question be so out-of-place? Seems like reaping what one sows.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[Tamara Barclay]

As far as my ex wifes therapist goes (a female) she mirrored what the client wanted to hear.
I had been the initial one to see her about my dressing issues, and she was VERY supportive, to the point of telling my ex that she should be open to my fem side....including hormones!!
When my wife started to see her on her own (and paying another $150.00 an hour), then I was an evil pervert who would rape children. All this time I was seeing the same therapist, and she was telling my that it was my wifes fault!
I never knew we were both seeing her untill years after the divorce!

And there is NO STATISTICAL BASIS FOR CROSSDRESSERS BEING CHILD MOLESTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PROVE ME WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't lump me in with some NAMBLA member.
We can talk all we want about our femside, but if someone EVER touched my children, I would take every last male essence in my body and kill the ******

[KewTnCurvy GG]

her psychologist about my crossdressing, my wife said one of the first things out of her mouth was "Are the boys safe?".

A) If this is true, then she had an ass for a psychologist. No psychologist in his/her right mind would say that!

HOWEVER,

B) I suspect, since this was shared by your wife WHO clearly was/is not supportive, it is either not true or TOTALLY taken out of context.

Kew

[tekla west]

Hey we have had psychologists around for almost a hunderend years now, and no one has got better. Not a minor point.

Don't believe them. As CD occurs in a normal statistical variant in the universe, so does child molesting. Can they occur together? Sure. Often. No, rare. Ten percent of ten percent. You work the math.

Hey, I will cut the psychologists one break however. And its this.

Given the legal junk that psychologists and the rest of the "helping professions" are under these days I'm sure her lawyer TELLS her to ask that, least she be seen as being negligent.

[Bridget]

Psychology is hit and miss. Among those in the medical field, it is considered the ghetto of medicine; where those med students who fall between the cracks (for incompetence, and what else) end up. This is the same field who created the "Satanic" day care histeria of the 80s and 90s, where psychologists put children under hypnosis, and "found out" that the children were exposed to human sacrifice to Satan and sexual rituals. Not a single body was found, nor was any "secret rooms" found. Likewise, psychologists can "discover", through hypnosis, that one was abducted by space aliens, or that one was sexually abused (whether or not one remembers being sexually abused). Many hold personal views which are questionable for people of science.

The only possible worse people in medicine are chiropractors. They often use their chiropractor license to give them an air of credibility when selling devices to electrically shock parasites out of you (for without, they claim, one would live forever) or shill pills containing the brains of sheep.

[Bridget]

There is a very strong tendency for gay men to engage in sex with young boys and teens. As one peruses the threads here, it is readily apparent that many cross dressers seem to have gay urges therefore, why should that question be so out-of-place? Seems like reaping what one sows.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

Gay urges? Statistically from official surveys, most crossdressers are heterosexual. Unless you consider it to be lesbianism. Which some do consier themselves, at least the ones that are transgendered.

And as for gay men engaging in sex with young boys and teens, are those people actually gay, or are they just pederasts? Homosexuality and pederasty are not necessarily inclusive to one another. They may be a large population of pederasts, but that does not necessarily mean they are gay. To use a separate example, there is a very high quantity of lolita-complex pornography sold in Japan, however, does that mean that heterosexuality of the male Japanese tends towards younger girls, or does that just mean there is a sizeable portion of the male Japanese population that are specifically lolikon? When makeing broad assumptions, you have to understand the statistics, and be aware of the distinctions between classes, and correlation and causation.

[tekla west]

There is a very strong tendency for gay men to engage in sex with young boys and teens. >>>> In fact most - and I mean BY FAR - underage sex is between older men and younger women. period. paragraph.

As one peruses the threads here, it is readily apparent that many cross dressers seem to have gay urges therefore, why should that question be so out-of-place? >>>> Whoo, nelly! Just hold on a second there partner. AGAIN-!! Most Gay Men are LESS likely to molest children than a straight male.

Moreover!!! I read these posts, and a lot of the members who are doing the boy fantasy trip (and rest assured I DON'T, I think boys are icky!) want to be treated "like a lady." That implies bar tabs in pricey joints, not candy bars from 7/11.

Seems like reaping what one sows. >>> If you plant ice you're gonna' harvest wind.

[Kimberley]

I am a CD (well TS to be more or less truthful but let's not split hairs) Therefore I am also: :rolleyes:
Gay
A Pedophile
A Satanist
Homicidal
Suicidal
Obsessive/Compulsive
Perveracator (sp?) oh hell... a liar...
Perverted


Okay girls, help me out here... I am sure you can find at least a dozen descriptives in your own vocabulary.....:D

GEESH ... and this psychologist was licensed? Did s/he ever hear of the DSM IV? I'd be reporting that one to the licensing board...:thumbsdn:

Kimberley.

[Stephenie S]

Christina Nicole,

Unless you were trying to be ironic or "tongue in cheek", I have to correct you. The VAST majority of child molesters are heterosexual men. Not only hetrosexual men, but heterosexual family members. Fathers, uncles, brothers, etc. The idea that homosexual men have any overt sexual interest in children is a cruel and patently homophobic misconception. There is just NO scientific evidence to back up your assertion that this psychologist was anything but an uneducated quack or a raving homophobe.
OK, now I climb down from my pink soapbox and hope you were just trying to be amusing.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[chantelle]

Has anyone besides myself any counsilling skills that can counsill people from the point of view of the cd. I have not a lot to say on this forum, as I prefer to do my counsilling in person. So if anyone need free help, they need to come to SOuth africa.
I am who I am for I love me, that way when someone asks if kids are safe yell. "Hell yes."
For it is our first answer which counts the most.
Love
chantelle.

[Lisa Golightly]

Your wife's Psychologist needs a Psychologist. He/She obviously has some issues.

[Ranee Daze]

My one trip to a psychologist where I revealed my dressing showed me that very few psychologists must keep up to date on many emerging issues, not just crossdressing. I knew more than she did and was clearly uncomfortable with the notion. In the end she learned from me....I wish I got, rather than paid, her fee!

[Cheery GG]

It's at times like this you wonder if they ever did any training at all.

I couldt agree more shelly, she should be ashamed of herself. As a psychologist she should know better...much much better !

cheery
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