The Invisible Man (or Woman)

[CaptLex]

At my support group meeting last week we talked about what happens after transitioning - specifically, whether we want to become invisible men and blend into society as best we can, or whether we want to be visibly trans forever. Or maybe a little of both depending on the circumstances.

To be honest, I'm so new at this and still concentrating on the present, I hadn't really given much thought to the future. It seems the responses in my group were mostly divided among generational lines - with the older ones (40's and up) preferring to disappear and the younger ones (in their 20's) wanting to always identify as trans.

For those here who are transitioning or plan to transition, have you thought about this? Or is this different for transwomen?

[Kieron Andrew]

At this stage (i know its subject to change based on the experiences of my friends).....but as i say at this stage i want to always identify as a Transman....i am incredibly proud of my trans status and the community i associate with!

[~Dee~]

personally, im proud of who i am. TS and all.
even after full transition, i will not hide that side of me - dont get me wrong, im not about to shout it from the rooftops or wear a placcard,

i just dont want to transition and then starting feeling like i should hide myself .. to me, that kind of anonymity was one of the problems in the first place .. it ended in feeling alone and ashamed. id prefer to take the positive attitude that i have for my future and carry it on through into the next phase of my life. :happy:

so yes, i had thought about it a little :D

[azure]

My personal feeling has always been that I did not grow up thinking,"I want ot be a transgendered person", my continuous thought was "I am meant to be a woman, how can I correct this?". I see this as I have a male body(unfortunatley), I am transgenedered now, then once all is finished I am a woman. I will lead my life just like any other woman, I want to work hard, I want to succeed, thrive and be happy. I dont see the purpose in being a "career transexual", as in living outwardly as a transgendered woman, only associating with other transgendered women. I know, Im being very un pc. Ive applied for and been employed as a woman, I never stood up and said "hi, Im sarah, and I was born male", why should I. Obviously if I get read and those around me want answers then I'll tell them want I think they need to know. Its my life, my body, my business. (said she, sounding very narky)
I dont mean to sound bossy. It is a very emotive subject, who we are, it is the root of our being, why we are here, not all of us know. I think some days I get a glimpse of the answer, an insight, a little bit of peace.

I'd like to just be a woman please and make all these stupid issues go away.

[Maria D]

I think the right answer is whatever each individual wants to do.

Me, I just see 'TS' as a 'born condition' to be sorted out, in my case by transition etc. I'm not sure whether psychiatrists or doctors would agree with me but I sort of consider it a form of intersex; I don't see why a body and brain mismatch is different to other intersex mismatches...

Anyway, the point. I'll be a woman, in my eyes anyway, when I'm finished, just a normal everyday woman, but someone who had a condition. I have a loving family, some great friends and a supportive workplace, and losing them to 'start again' would be, well, frankly daft. It would be a great shame to throw away my Mum's proud graduation picture, it meant SO much to her, just because I had a male body then. My old baby photos are treasures to me, gurgling in a yellow baby-gro, I looked like a banana. How could I throw away who I am? No, that's not for me, and as long as people in my present know, the new people I meet will probably be told about my past by them (I'm not stupid, I know how people are, though funnily several new starters at work weren't told about me, not deliberately, but because to the staff it had dropped out of their heads as an issue. Odd but true). I'm fine with that.

Take care :)

[heather_nouveau]

Hello everybody:

Just thought I'd post my thoughts on this topic. I think that rather than being invisible, I'd be pleased just to not be noticed too much. I'd very much like to appear as feminine as possible.

I'd just prefer that my presentation to be as "natural" as possible. I'd be very pleased if people meeting me did not have to think (or wonder) about my gender. For example, being "read" as a guy in a dress rather than an ordinary woman.

I just want to pass without having people question it.

Hugs, :hugs:

Heather (One of the older ones).

[Stephenie S]

I think I agree with Heather and Maria. I just want to go about my life presenting as I feel inside. I will never "be" a woman. But I DO want to be able to reconcile how I feel and how I look. Does that make any sense?
I know I will always be a transexual woman, but I know that I have soooo many other things in my life that I want to be and do that have nothing to do with what sex I am presenting to the world.
This is sounding as confused as I am, I guess, but I don't think I want to have my transexualism be the most important part of my life.

Whew! I shouldn't have even started on this. Do you have a couple of hours, dear?
So I guess I will just stop before I get myself all wound up.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Ms. Donna]

I suspect most won't be surprised by my answer...:D

I identify as genderqueer and it's taken a long time to accept that and like myself - to become that which I was all along but never allowed to develop.

I'm proud of who I am and what I am and can't see myself hiding behind a façade again - for too long I pretended to be that which I was not.

I get read either way depending on the wind and that's just fine with me.

This is who I am: I can't be anyone else.

Love & Stuff,
Donna

[CaptLex]

Thank you all for your responses - please keep them coming. I've been thinking about this a lot and I wanted to get a variety of views, which is what we have here. I don't think there is any right or wrong answer to this, just whatever is right for each individual.


I dont see the purpose in being a "career transexual", as in living outwardly as a transgendered woman, only associating with other transgendered women.
I just want to clarify that this is not what I meant by being visibly trans. I'm a firm believer that diversity makes life more interesting, and I don't think anyone should only associate with any kind of group. Sorry if I gave that impression.

As for myself (in case anyone's interested), I spent a lot of years being confused and isolated because I didn't know anyone else like me. I don't intend on being the trans poster child, introducing myself to people as, "Hi, I'm Lex and I'm a transsexual" or shouting it from the rooftops (as Dee so nicely put it), but if my being open about it will help others who think they're all alone in this, then that's what I hope to do. I've been in the closet and it's too dark and stuffy in there.

Of course, as Kieron pointed out, my view on this can change (as so many of my views already have) so I reserve the right to amend this preliminary opinion. :p

[Clare]

I just want to go about my life presenting as I feel inside. I will never "be" a woman. But I DO want to be able to reconcile how I feel and how I look.
I know I will always be a transexual woman, but I know that I have soooo many other things in my life that I want to be and do that have nothing to do with what sex I am presenting to the world.I wasn't going to answer this thread as I don't identify as Transsexual, however Stephenie's response kinda reflects my own view - albeit that of a Transgenderist.

[Bernadette]

All the News about where the Future is going and where I am now and Yesterday is History.
I think the future would be very satisfying for me.
I am one who deserves not to be cloned. I was and badly damaged by doctors at birth and was operated on with a doctors point of view on who I should be.I was never told of my surgeries and that I was always told who I am supposed to be
I have never have since went back under the knife due to not having the trust in a doctors hand. That was in the 20's.
I have regained control of my life and who I am. I am in my 40's now.The future for me only brings less of a chance to go back to what the doctors want me to be and society thinks what I should be.

Bernadette