Dr. Marla S or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Purse

[Marla S]

A story about things that just happen.

I’ve never been into purses and never saw a need to carry them around and I didn’t really get why women do (skirts have no pockets; ok that’s a reason).
If I had to carry around some bigger things I used a backpack, all the other stuff, keys, coins, cigarettes, moneybag and stuff boys carry around I had in my pockets.

Due to a healthier lifestyle (see Karren Hutton’s thread) I started to move around by bicycle, which made me to move some things from the pocket to the backpack (just for comfort, nothing special). Almost the same time I started to live more openly (kind of effeminate men) and to wear makeup (predominately eye-makeup) almost every day. The day before yesterday was hot and I had a ride with the bike and did sweat a bit.
Coming home and looking into the mirror :eek: :eek: :eek:
OMG Who is this totally messed up girl ?
I really felt embarrassed and hoped nobody had realized my appearance.

The next day I took care to have a little mirror, my eye-shadow, mascara and eye-liner with me – just in case I have to fix my makeup.
I placed them in my backpack and all of the sudden it became quite obvious why woman have purses and that it is perfect place to bear all the other stuff (key, etc.) too.
So, I am in love with purses now and need to buy one.
Sometimes things just happen.

PS: It still sounds in my ears, when my mom my ex or other girls said “I can’t understand why man have to carry around everything in their pockets, it looks sooo odd” and just recently I said that this would be something I’d really miss if I’d became a woman. :D
Well I think now I'd answer: You have to accept a man with odd looking pockets or you have to accept an "odd" looking CD with empty pockets. You can't get the one without the other ;) :D

[~Kitty GG~]

A wonderful story Marla. Thanx for sharing it with us.

Some women's purses also become the family's carryall. You end up carrying things for everyone who doesn't want to bother themselves. Kids are the worst. Although my gramma always carried grampa's teeth wrapped in a hanky in her purse.. ewww huh?

I find these days I can leave mine at home if Dee lets me slip a few things into hers. :heehee:

Love & Hugs
~Kitty~

[Marla S]

Some women's purses also become the family's carryall.

I think there is no risk for me right now (:straightface: ), but who knows what happens next. Two days ago I'd never have thought that I urgently need a purse. Maybe I should buy a big one, just in case. :D

:hugs:

[Tamara Croft]

I have this tiny handbag and people laugh when I start to empty it, because they can't believe how much it actually holds lol!!! I call it my 'mary poppins' bag :D

[Tiffy]

I would love to carry one but to afraid. So, I carry a small camera bag and it still carries mirrors, makeup, perfume, checkbook, wallet, phone, and more. It was my moms idea since I wear shorts with no pockets 24/7.

April Marie

[Marla S]

I would love to carry one but to afraid.
I will not go for a very girly one too (too afraid ? or just not fitting ?). But as there is a huge variety of purses and handbag styles I am positive to find one that "blends in". (though not sure about that. Never really cared for)

[pinkshelly]

Hey i'm doing the back pack thing. I call it my man bag. Sometimes i call it my purse, but just around certin people. I do have a thing for purses and have a really cute but not practical one. and a practical but not cute one.
Well thats my two cents.

[CharlaineCadence]

if i started to count my purses I think you people would kill me lol. i love purses all shapes and sizes.

[tekla west]

Purses are the spawn of the devil. A regular tool of the ultimate evil one they are. Your thinking about getting a purse. As in singular. As in one. It is to laugh. You think you can keep it to one? You, puny human, are up against forces you can't comprehend. If you get a purse, and start using it you will have ten - twenty of them by next year. Oh hear me well, wailing in the well of lamentations.

Because...
You have to have a sport/big city kick around bag
(and one in a lighter color for your lighter outfits)

And clubs? OK, a few more, nice little ones that hold money and ID and live around your neck.

And evening time, going out? Well those day bags of yours aren't going to cut it at all. Something nice. Match the shoes and belt.

I had (just had too, you understand) have a real hippie bag, leather, tons of fringe, looks like a took it from Jerry Garcia's GF.

Others, I'm not even sure about. Its like purses happen.

Then there is what you put in them, what you can't live without. To wit:


ALWAYS

Cell Phone
Notepad and pen
wallet/pocketbook
make-up kit in bag (one lip-gloss, one lipstick, basic shadow and mascara and powder)
Swiss Army Knife (I use it once a day I bet - and here in wine country there is no substitute for a corkscrew)
lighter
guitar picks
medical stuff (pot and one hitter)
MagLight
money
Keys
Very Important Papers (whatever they are that day)

Most of the time
computer (DKNY makes a killer bag that holds it)
a "business drag" leather notebook
camera
a book
extra glasses
more keys
a cold can of Bud


SOMETIMES
second pair of shoes
additional wardrobe
hat and gloves
wrench, Leatherman, Coffin Key, Vice-Grips (for work)
batteries
CDs
guitar tuner

Go ahead, get it as big as you want. You will fill it. Its a universal law.

[Marla S]

Tekla

But, but ... I only ... urhg ... I only wanted to .... :eek: .... just a .... well I'll try to ... please tell me that ... ohhh nooo.... I mean ... it can't be .... not me .... pleaaaaase ............ OMG :chained:

:happy:

[Breanne]

Although my gramma always carried grampa's teeth wrapped in a hanky in her purse.. ewww huh?

I find these days I can leave mine at home if Dee lets me slip a few things into hers. :heehee: ~
Uh, was that your teeth or purse you can leave at home? LOL

[JoAnnDallas]

If I don't have my purse with me when I go out, I feel naked. In fact I have this real cute Red bildfold that I carry around while in drab. I got it in the ladies department ar Kholes last year. It has the cutes calculator and orginizer
that I have ever had. No one notices that it's a womans and not a man's. LOL
I remember my wife asking why I was looking at them and I said "look at the neat calculator and orginizer stuff". She looked and agreed. So I bought it.

[myMichelle]

Although it initially took me a bit of getting used to, I do like carrying a purse. Besides being a good place to put all of your daily necessities, I like a purse because it gives me something to do with my hands. I've found this to be especially helpful when I'm feeling just a bit self-conscious or uncomfortable. I like being able to grab ahold of my purse strap and re-adjust it's fit over my shoulder...I think that looks a lot better than just standing there, twiching my hands, etc.

[JosieR]

Several years ago, my son wanted a bag to carry things to and from work. I guess I projected my own desires on him and bought him a "man's purse." I got it at a store that sells very expensive Tumi leather goods. While he appreciated it, he turned it in for something more akin to a briefcase (arguably a "man's purse" too). I really liked it and asked my wife (who knows and appreciates my alternative clothing options) to buy me one for my birthday. She did, and I've been using it ever since. It holds all sorts of things I need and use on a daily basis. I used to call it my "bag" rather than referring to it as my "purse." That is, until I had a meeting with a new client (I'm an attorney) at his house and noticed my "bag." It turns out that he owned one too but admitted what it really was ... A PURSE. So, that's what I now call it. I've never noticed any funny looks or stares or questions. Why shouldn't a man carry a purse? They're very practical and don't stretch out your clothes or pull down your trousers because of the weight. Happy purse carrying!!!

[Sarah Rabbit]

Even before Sarah became a big part of my life, I was envious of the girls being able to carry purses. There is nothing more uncomfortable then walking around with a pocket full of Wallet, keys, money and whatever. Ahh the luxury of having a GF or Wife with a big Handbag. I was able to compromise however. Ski bags a.k.a 'Bum' Bags were quite acceptable for a male in the 80's (Oh how I miss the 80's...but that is another thread:happy: )

Sarah R. :bunny:

[Marla S]

Ski bags a.k.a 'Bum' Bags were quite acceptable for a male in the 80's (Oh how I miss the 80's...but that is another thread:happy: )
I remember it too. But I think it couldn't last for long and never has been more than a fashion gag (don't know if this is the correct term).

More than that I like to have a purse now (or two ;)), my little experience teached me that certain things have an inner logic. Wearing makeup made it necessary for me to have a purse, having a purse (still a backpack, though, but I had a first look on the range of goods :D ) means to have something to hold all the things you'd have in your pockets otherwise (and on those days without makeup the purse still can hold the stuff.)
Men with men's purse from the 80's were finally taken for a ride ("this looks gay", "are you gay", "this looks girly", etc.) and I think that's why they got out of fashion quite soon.
For us this means if you get stupid patter anyway, why take the bad copy instead of the original ?
I'd say for the same reason men's skirts will never be really accepted. Neither by the "regular" men nor by us TGs (we just could stop moaning about men's skirts ;)) The most we can expect is, if men's skirts would be accepted is that it is more easy to blend in. But it is up to the non-TG-men to care for men's skirts, not to us.

All together, this little lesson brought up another interesting thought for me, maybe worth it's own thread.
Right know, the more I am able to accept myself and to release the social ties, I am feeling that the wish/dream/desire to be a woman or to wear female clothes might be only superficial, or better said a secondary effect. Maybe it's all about to live a feminine lifestyle or the lifestyle of a woman (whatever) which hardly can be done without the respective clothing.( Which thought is closer then, as the wish to be a woman). For some of us a pair of penties is ok to achieve this, others want to go the hole way.
This might sound a bit hairsplitting, but if you think you want to live a feminine lifestyle in the first place and not to be a woman it might be more easy for some of us to integrate our not deniable male attributes (physical, and mental ones) into the "feminine self". (I'd rather like to be Lara Croft than Barby).
If there is some truth in this view, this might even help to de-sexualize (is this a word ?) transgenderism; a main reason for the shame and guilt feelings we/I have/had, and IMO a main source for the non-acceptance by the society.

(Wow, what weird theories. And that's only because my makeup was messed up :D )

[Sage GG]

If someone teases you about your purse, hit them with it:tongueout

[NatalieBliss]

Just wondering because I now I want to go buy "Dr Strange Love" and carry it home in a new purse...

[Marla S]

If someone teases you about your purse, hit them with it:tongueout
Interesting option. Havn't thought about it yet, though i've thought about some pepper spray in my purse last night on my way back from the pub (just felt uncomfortable with the guys staring). :D


Do you work in advertising?
No, but an interesting option too, as I am looking for a job right now anyway.
An advertising agency for TG content might work better than another TG online-shop ;)

[Marla GG]

Yay! Girly boys who carry purses are HOT :D

I am sure you can find a women's purse that isn't too feminine and would suit your androgynous look. My purse is just one giant make-up bag, proving the old adage, "your make-up collection will expand to fill the space you have available for it."

[Karren H]

Good one!! I love my purse and when I'm enfemme it's always with me. I keep it under my desk at work... And when not dressed, my laptop briefcase is my purse. Very ugyl, but still a purse. The secretarys at work always kid me that I have more junk in my briefcase then they do in their purses.

Love Karren

[Marla S]

Yay! Girly boys who carry purses are HOT :D

Thanks.:happy:
You made my day.
:hugs:

BTW: Nice avatar :hypnotized: :blushing:

[Abby Lauren]

So my daughter comes to visit with her family and finds my pink Donna Karan (on a huge sale) purse which had been secreted in a hard-to-find spot. She wonders why it seemed hidden from view but my wife artfully changes the subject. She asks if my wife would mind if she takes it. My wife demurs but asks me later. I am now minus one pink DK purse. Thankfully, nobody has found or wanted my others.

[Lisa Golightly]

I love handbags... My works one is full of all kinds of things... even a television... lol... true, true, true :)

[EricaCD]

Marla S - if you are looking for a not-too-fem compromise, you could go with one of the medium-size backpack style purses that Coach makes. It's shaped like a backpack, only a bit smaller (and leather, of course). Here in NY I see women carrying them around as purses all the time. My wife swears by hers.

Good luck!
Erica

[Brenda Locke]

Hello.
Another option for a bag or pack that could be used as a purse is one of those shoulder totes. You know, the ones you see tourist with all the time.
they are ment to carry keys. cameras, ID's etc. and usually come in verity of sizes.
Just a thought.

LoL Brenda :D

[L.E.J.]

I love purses, the more the better I say, and there's no such thing as a purse being to "girly".

[discovery]

:happy: I finally broke down and bought one from Stone Mountain (see website). They have some great ones. I bought two one large and one small one. the large one I use all the time going to Home Depot and about. I need the large size because I am a buildling contractor. I think this may be one of the biggest secrets women keep. Purses are wonderful. They free up your hands, look stylish and just feel great when I carrying mine. The small one with brass zippers and rings is quiet but clearly a purse an dmore dressy. I have finally broken the barrier and have begun living a little bit more of life on my terms and about who I am. IT FEELS GREAT. Most people do not care. Those that do dont matter except my wife. When someone stares I hold my head up high and act like this is normal which it is for me. It migh not seem like much but coming from an conservative african american heritage this is significant. TO ; Live life with not regrets!!!!!!

[MarieTS]

Who ever would have thought I'd become so preoccupied with them!
When I purchase a new outfit I instinctively wonder "what bag will I use with this?" "Hhmmm, guess I'm going to have to get another." :heehee:
Yes, pocketboks complete the outfit. The wrong bag can detract from an outfit just as the wrong shoes or any other accessory can.

One day I was listening to the radio and that sexist pig Tom Likus was making fun of women becuse they are always interested in finding just the right bag. Well, Tom-- we are! :D That told me what I always suspected... Tom doesn't know squat about women :tongueout

Anyway, pocketbooks are both fun and functional. The key is to be patient, because you can get ripped-off, or you an be very selective and get the perfect bag for a great price.

[Marla S]

Thanks ladies for all your replies.

Bought this one (http://www.reisenthel-shop.de/images/015-cb0507.jpg) in black today. Because it is quite inexpensive (15 Euros) there is some money left to buy another one (a touch more girly):D

:love: