Phyliss
06-25-2006, 08:19 AM
This is really long but,...I have to tell of my day and what it meant to me.
I guess it's "official" now, I've "made my bones" to borrow a phrase from that nice "family" that doesn't exist.
I spent the entire day from 8a.m. until 9 p.m. fully dressed, went shopping, walked through the mall in solo flight mode, got stopped by a cop, had to use the "ladies room" and had supper at a restaurant. All this without a single laugh, snicker, finger being pointed, or any disparaging comment from people I delt with during the day.
My sister, was with me for the entire day, in fact the whole day was her idea from the start. After I had come out to her and we had a wonderful talk she indicated that I should go shopping for some nice clothes.
So here is my story of a wonderful Saturday that will remain in my memory for a very long time. ( I think I can begin to understand the joys of doing this full time)
8: 00 a.m. leave for my 9a.m. appointment at The Dressing Room. The owner had agreed to open up an hour early for some personal shopping time. Emily, (an angle of delight to work with) had picked out some ideas for me already and went right to work fitting me and showing me more items than I could lift at one time. Complete acceptance from her as she addressed me with my fem name and made me feel so at ease and comfortable. As everybody knows, some combinations "work" and some, just plain don't. Either due to color or body shape, or age. For a magical hour I was "a lady". I'd try on an outfit, step out of the changing room and twirl at the mirror with comments an advice both from my sister and Emily as to the fit and fashion of the item and how it hung on me. Needless to say, I dumped some serious sheckles there. There aren't words enough to say how thankful I am for her assistance and acceptance. I made sure to let her know how grateful I was for everything.
A quick stop next door at the lingerie shop, where I buy most of my bras, to show off to Shelly, the owner, who complimented me on my choice of clothing and my make up,( which I did myself) .
Then on to Macy's for a 10 : 30 appt. sitting at the cosmetic counter to have my face repaired and set for the rest of the day. Ericka, the makeup tech finished me off with some modifications to my color, considering the clothing I was wearing. Just being able to sit at the counter and have her fuss with me to insure that I looked as good as possible, was a joy that can only be understood by those who have done this. To be able to sink deeper into that side of Phyliss and have her come more alive and aware was something I had never before experienced. (I loved it. No matter how much I used to drink I've never been as "high") Even some of the other ladies who work at the various cosmetic, perfume, and jewelry counters in that area complimented me on my looks. (Those things I shall treasue forever.) Even had my sister get a quick repair job done. If anybody is ever in Newington N.H. and find themself at the Macy's there. Ask for Ericka, an absolute angel when it comes to being sensitive to our desires.
A quick stop at a local fast food joint for some chicken nuggets and a burger for my sis. I wasn't fully confident yet, so I let her go in and get the food. Sat in the car to eat, but noted that I wasn't getting any stares from people as they would either drive, or walk by the car while we were sitting there. (Confidence growing)
Back to the mall and a visit to Torrid to "show off to some of the gals there. Unfortunately none of the ones who know of Phyliss were working then, BUT...nobody chased me out of there. My sister, spotted some nice panties that she wanted, so I told her I would buy them, (got to run up my Diva card for the year). Zero problem at the register. Even when I handed over my charge card with "his" name on it. Simple swipe of the card, hand me the receipt to sign and a nice "thank you for shopping with us today" was all that was said.
Now, on to Layne Bryant, for some more shopping and to see an associate named Carley, who helped me pick out the clothes I wore for my second photo shoot / makeover. As we walked to that end of the mall I began to feel a sense of release. My fears began to go away. I was being accepted. ( at least, that was how I wanted to believe it.) Most likely I was "blending" and nobody took notice of us. Two ladies walking thorugh the mall on a rainy Saturday afternoon. Who pays attention? For me, however, it was like stopping at the top of a Ferris Wheel. Being a bit nervous at the situation, yet seeing everything around me and nobody paying any notice. Still, I had my "beard" sister next to me. (safety in numbers) As we entered Layne Bryant, Carley was busy with another customer and we began to look at some of the displays. Shortly she was finished with that person and I walked over to her. Her eyes brightened when she saw me and told me that I looked beautiful. (New clothes, freshly applied makeup by a professional, who wouldn't?) Her only question to me was, to remind her what name I used. Even the other associate on duty complimented me on my looks. Spent about an hour in there while my sister tried on some skirts and blouses for herself. As much as I wanted to buy some more for me, I've got to watch my budget ,(doncha just hate the idea of having to linit yourself because of such a small thing like money?) Anyhow, she found a few things and, of course I paid for them. Have to show her how much I appreciate her help on my big day.
So,.....after leaving L.B. we were going to head for the car. Small problem, after all that walking her feet and legs were about to give out. We're near an exit and the car is at the other end of the mall. Solution: She sits on a bench just outside of the door and I go back through the mall to get the car and drive around to pick her up. OK fine, but that means I have to make my first "solo flight" The day is only half done and my co-pilot is baling out. O M G I'm gonna have to do this. Suck it up, stand tall, walk. Keep your eyes front and move with purpose, don't make eye contact and above all else, if I see some nice young "mall rat" of a honey, who "he" would normally turn and stare at, don't do that. (confidence growing with each step I make my way through the crowd) Soon enough I'm at the exit door and an older gentleman holds the door for me and smiles. I smile back with a "thank you" nod, (the old coot is blind, I think) but I take the action for what it is, and love it. Out to the parking lot and head to the car, arriving with not a single comment about "the guy in a dress", I am on cloud nine with joy and want to "high five" anybody who walks by. Get in, place my purse behind the seat, primp my hair, and drive around to pick up my sis.
Next stop, the wig shop to show off again and to get a head for my wig. Now that my sis knows about Phyliss she has told me that I can use her camper travel trailer which is parked in my back yard, as a place to keep my things. (I've got a 27ft closet) As we enterd the wig shop, Anne asked if she could help us ladies. Not until I spoke did she recognize me. (There, I did it. Anne was the first one to help bring me out with her make up ability and she didn't recognize me. Confidence at all time high now. I can do anything) We chatted for a bit, and I picked out a head for my wig.
Soon enough it was time to head for Salem and The Mall at Rockingham Park. I need a waist whittler to help with my bulging belly. On the way there we were simply talking and somehow I noted that the conversation was becoming more intimate, like two girls sharing secrets. She was begining to think of me more as a sister than a brother. Driving and talking only leads to one thing, lack of attention to the main task at hand. Noted a cop up ahead who had pulled over somebody. Moved over to pass just as he was about to pull out, so I essentially "cut him off" .....You guessed it. The blue lights came on along with the siren. "Oh crap, I am soooo busted" Pull over grab my purse from the back seat and begin fishing for my wallet at the bottom. Madly thinking of an excuse of why I am dressed like I am. (Going to a costume party officer. yeah that's it going to a costume party) I can feel the cold sweat of fear rising and my makeup is about to melt off my face like the fire scene in House of Wax. Roll down the window and my sister, from the passenger seat, says "Good afternoon officer" I'm smiling like an idiot and no words are coming out.
"Good after noon ma'am. You should really be more careful about driving. When you see an emergency vehicle or police car you must alway give the right of way."
I smile like a fool and squeak out a falsetto saying "I really should. I am terribly sorry."
"You need to pay more attention in.the future. Have a nice evening ladies."
He leaves, wha... I didn't get a ticket, I didn't have to produce I.D. I flipping PASSED with a cop. HOT DANG!!!! Not wanting to make any waves I pull out carefully and continue on my way as he turns around and heads the other direction.
I'm beating on the steering wheel in joy at having just pulled off what I did.
I've got a nephew who is "on the job" in New York. One thing he's told my sis (his mom) is that no cop in his right mind wants to give a ticket to some lady who reminds him of his mother. So my sister brings me back to reality with that comment, plus the fact that if the officer did "read" me he just didn't want to "get involved" . I prefer to think of it as having "PASSED" (makes me feel better)
Arrived at the Rockingham Mall and headed for the Lady Grace store. There is also a Fredricks store there. Stopped into Fredricks first to see if they had what I was looking for. They do, but I don't want to get into having to lace up the corset. Besides, they just didn't look sturdy enough for me.
As we left there heading for Lady Grace, my sis informs me that she "has to go" O.K. here's another test, I had been hoping to last all day without having to do this but when she mentioned it, I instantly realized I had to also. "Please, God, don't let there be a line, I'll be good, honest"
Walk in and,....there it is, an open stall right at the begining of the row. In I go and quickly close the door. Must sit down, don't want to give myself away with my toes pointed in the wrong direction. Hike up skirt so as to NOT get it wet. Finish and stand. Put everything back where it belongs, straighten out skirt and exit stall, quickly wash hands and leave. No primping in front of the mirror, not THAT confident yet. Just because I "passed" with a young cop I'm not gonna push my luck with a bunch of GGs around me, (they're experts, and the last thing I want is to be busted by Mall Security)
Into Lady Grace, Looking for the "waste whittler" or sometimes called a waist nipper. After a few moments I spotted what I wanted on the back wall. Made by Flexees. We go through the different sizes and find an XL. Sis escorts me to the changing roomto have me try it on.( I love her for her nerve) of course so as to not have any problem I check the fit over my clothes. NO way will an XL fit, unless I choose to NOT breathe. Lets find a 3XL. Digging a bit more we come up with the treasure I'm after. Standing right there at the back of the store I give it a quick wrap around my chubby little bod and it looks close enough to "go for it" By this time one of the associates spots us and asks of she can help. Sis, pipes up, "Oh, she's just found what she wants" nodding to me as I smile politely. Associate says to the person behind the register, "Would you please ring up the lady and her purchase."
"LADY" she referred to me as "LADY" Gawd I love it. Paid cash there, didn't want to bust any bubble by whipping out the plastic and having to explain the different name.
Left the mall and by this time we're starving. "Once more into the breach" I spot a "99 Restaurant and Pub" It's getting late evening and I know the lighting in there is bad anyway. Walk in and find out there is a 20 minute wait. I can do this. I nod to her and she signs us in and they hand her one of those little beeper things. Having some time to kill I have my sis take a few pictures in front of the restaurant. Nobody says anything to us. "Two crazy old broads taking pictures." People only see what they want to see, and if you don't dispell the myth, then that's all they will see.
Beeper begins to flash, and in we go. Sit down and waitress asks, "Can I bring you ladies something to drink?" Sis orders a club soda with a twist, in a soft voice I say, "I'll have the same" Looking over the menue we decide what we want and when the waitress returns, sis does the ordering for us. Meal over and the check is presented, I pay in cash again, just to avoid any questions.
By now it's nearly 9 p.m. and I have to return to the land of pumpkins. Pull into a Walmart parking lot and go to the far end where I soak off my "glue on nails" , change clothes in the car, and as sis drives home I take Phyliss off and almost cry at having to become "him" again.
So,....The question is how did I manage this without wife suspecting anything? My sis and I happen to share a common interest in AA and wanted to attend an "all day conference" Okay Okay so I lied, so what? PHYLISS HAD FUN.
I guess it's "official" now, I've "made my bones" to borrow a phrase from that nice "family" that doesn't exist.
I spent the entire day from 8a.m. until 9 p.m. fully dressed, went shopping, walked through the mall in solo flight mode, got stopped by a cop, had to use the "ladies room" and had supper at a restaurant. All this without a single laugh, snicker, finger being pointed, or any disparaging comment from people I delt with during the day.
My sister, was with me for the entire day, in fact the whole day was her idea from the start. After I had come out to her and we had a wonderful talk she indicated that I should go shopping for some nice clothes.
So here is my story of a wonderful Saturday that will remain in my memory for a very long time. ( I think I can begin to understand the joys of doing this full time)
8: 00 a.m. leave for my 9a.m. appointment at The Dressing Room. The owner had agreed to open up an hour early for some personal shopping time. Emily, (an angle of delight to work with) had picked out some ideas for me already and went right to work fitting me and showing me more items than I could lift at one time. Complete acceptance from her as she addressed me with my fem name and made me feel so at ease and comfortable. As everybody knows, some combinations "work" and some, just plain don't. Either due to color or body shape, or age. For a magical hour I was "a lady". I'd try on an outfit, step out of the changing room and twirl at the mirror with comments an advice both from my sister and Emily as to the fit and fashion of the item and how it hung on me. Needless to say, I dumped some serious sheckles there. There aren't words enough to say how thankful I am for her assistance and acceptance. I made sure to let her know how grateful I was for everything.
A quick stop next door at the lingerie shop, where I buy most of my bras, to show off to Shelly, the owner, who complimented me on my choice of clothing and my make up,( which I did myself) .
Then on to Macy's for a 10 : 30 appt. sitting at the cosmetic counter to have my face repaired and set for the rest of the day. Ericka, the makeup tech finished me off with some modifications to my color, considering the clothing I was wearing. Just being able to sit at the counter and have her fuss with me to insure that I looked as good as possible, was a joy that can only be understood by those who have done this. To be able to sink deeper into that side of Phyliss and have her come more alive and aware was something I had never before experienced. (I loved it. No matter how much I used to drink I've never been as "high") Even some of the other ladies who work at the various cosmetic, perfume, and jewelry counters in that area complimented me on my looks. (Those things I shall treasue forever.) Even had my sister get a quick repair job done. If anybody is ever in Newington N.H. and find themself at the Macy's there. Ask for Ericka, an absolute angel when it comes to being sensitive to our desires.
A quick stop at a local fast food joint for some chicken nuggets and a burger for my sis. I wasn't fully confident yet, so I let her go in and get the food. Sat in the car to eat, but noted that I wasn't getting any stares from people as they would either drive, or walk by the car while we were sitting there. (Confidence growing)
Back to the mall and a visit to Torrid to "show off to some of the gals there. Unfortunately none of the ones who know of Phyliss were working then, BUT...nobody chased me out of there. My sister, spotted some nice panties that she wanted, so I told her I would buy them, (got to run up my Diva card for the year). Zero problem at the register. Even when I handed over my charge card with "his" name on it. Simple swipe of the card, hand me the receipt to sign and a nice "thank you for shopping with us today" was all that was said.
Now, on to Layne Bryant, for some more shopping and to see an associate named Carley, who helped me pick out the clothes I wore for my second photo shoot / makeover. As we walked to that end of the mall I began to feel a sense of release. My fears began to go away. I was being accepted. ( at least, that was how I wanted to believe it.) Most likely I was "blending" and nobody took notice of us. Two ladies walking thorugh the mall on a rainy Saturday afternoon. Who pays attention? For me, however, it was like stopping at the top of a Ferris Wheel. Being a bit nervous at the situation, yet seeing everything around me and nobody paying any notice. Still, I had my "beard" sister next to me. (safety in numbers) As we entered Layne Bryant, Carley was busy with another customer and we began to look at some of the displays. Shortly she was finished with that person and I walked over to her. Her eyes brightened when she saw me and told me that I looked beautiful. (New clothes, freshly applied makeup by a professional, who wouldn't?) Her only question to me was, to remind her what name I used. Even the other associate on duty complimented me on my looks. Spent about an hour in there while my sister tried on some skirts and blouses for herself. As much as I wanted to buy some more for me, I've got to watch my budget ,(doncha just hate the idea of having to linit yourself because of such a small thing like money?) Anyhow, she found a few things and, of course I paid for them. Have to show her how much I appreciate her help on my big day.
So,.....after leaving L.B. we were going to head for the car. Small problem, after all that walking her feet and legs were about to give out. We're near an exit and the car is at the other end of the mall. Solution: She sits on a bench just outside of the door and I go back through the mall to get the car and drive around to pick her up. OK fine, but that means I have to make my first "solo flight" The day is only half done and my co-pilot is baling out. O M G I'm gonna have to do this. Suck it up, stand tall, walk. Keep your eyes front and move with purpose, don't make eye contact and above all else, if I see some nice young "mall rat" of a honey, who "he" would normally turn and stare at, don't do that. (confidence growing with each step I make my way through the crowd) Soon enough I'm at the exit door and an older gentleman holds the door for me and smiles. I smile back with a "thank you" nod, (the old coot is blind, I think) but I take the action for what it is, and love it. Out to the parking lot and head to the car, arriving with not a single comment about "the guy in a dress", I am on cloud nine with joy and want to "high five" anybody who walks by. Get in, place my purse behind the seat, primp my hair, and drive around to pick up my sis.
Next stop, the wig shop to show off again and to get a head for my wig. Now that my sis knows about Phyliss she has told me that I can use her camper travel trailer which is parked in my back yard, as a place to keep my things. (I've got a 27ft closet) As we enterd the wig shop, Anne asked if she could help us ladies. Not until I spoke did she recognize me. (There, I did it. Anne was the first one to help bring me out with her make up ability and she didn't recognize me. Confidence at all time high now. I can do anything) We chatted for a bit, and I picked out a head for my wig.
Soon enough it was time to head for Salem and The Mall at Rockingham Park. I need a waist whittler to help with my bulging belly. On the way there we were simply talking and somehow I noted that the conversation was becoming more intimate, like two girls sharing secrets. She was begining to think of me more as a sister than a brother. Driving and talking only leads to one thing, lack of attention to the main task at hand. Noted a cop up ahead who had pulled over somebody. Moved over to pass just as he was about to pull out, so I essentially "cut him off" .....You guessed it. The blue lights came on along with the siren. "Oh crap, I am soooo busted" Pull over grab my purse from the back seat and begin fishing for my wallet at the bottom. Madly thinking of an excuse of why I am dressed like I am. (Going to a costume party officer. yeah that's it going to a costume party) I can feel the cold sweat of fear rising and my makeup is about to melt off my face like the fire scene in House of Wax. Roll down the window and my sister, from the passenger seat, says "Good afternoon officer" I'm smiling like an idiot and no words are coming out.
"Good after noon ma'am. You should really be more careful about driving. When you see an emergency vehicle or police car you must alway give the right of way."
I smile like a fool and squeak out a falsetto saying "I really should. I am terribly sorry."
"You need to pay more attention in.the future. Have a nice evening ladies."
He leaves, wha... I didn't get a ticket, I didn't have to produce I.D. I flipping PASSED with a cop. HOT DANG!!!! Not wanting to make any waves I pull out carefully and continue on my way as he turns around and heads the other direction.
I'm beating on the steering wheel in joy at having just pulled off what I did.
I've got a nephew who is "on the job" in New York. One thing he's told my sis (his mom) is that no cop in his right mind wants to give a ticket to some lady who reminds him of his mother. So my sister brings me back to reality with that comment, plus the fact that if the officer did "read" me he just didn't want to "get involved" . I prefer to think of it as having "PASSED" (makes me feel better)
Arrived at the Rockingham Mall and headed for the Lady Grace store. There is also a Fredricks store there. Stopped into Fredricks first to see if they had what I was looking for. They do, but I don't want to get into having to lace up the corset. Besides, they just didn't look sturdy enough for me.
As we left there heading for Lady Grace, my sis informs me that she "has to go" O.K. here's another test, I had been hoping to last all day without having to do this but when she mentioned it, I instantly realized I had to also. "Please, God, don't let there be a line, I'll be good, honest"
Walk in and,....there it is, an open stall right at the begining of the row. In I go and quickly close the door. Must sit down, don't want to give myself away with my toes pointed in the wrong direction. Hike up skirt so as to NOT get it wet. Finish and stand. Put everything back where it belongs, straighten out skirt and exit stall, quickly wash hands and leave. No primping in front of the mirror, not THAT confident yet. Just because I "passed" with a young cop I'm not gonna push my luck with a bunch of GGs around me, (they're experts, and the last thing I want is to be busted by Mall Security)
Into Lady Grace, Looking for the "waste whittler" or sometimes called a waist nipper. After a few moments I spotted what I wanted on the back wall. Made by Flexees. We go through the different sizes and find an XL. Sis escorts me to the changing roomto have me try it on.( I love her for her nerve) of course so as to not have any problem I check the fit over my clothes. NO way will an XL fit, unless I choose to NOT breathe. Lets find a 3XL. Digging a bit more we come up with the treasure I'm after. Standing right there at the back of the store I give it a quick wrap around my chubby little bod and it looks close enough to "go for it" By this time one of the associates spots us and asks of she can help. Sis, pipes up, "Oh, she's just found what she wants" nodding to me as I smile politely. Associate says to the person behind the register, "Would you please ring up the lady and her purchase."
"LADY" she referred to me as "LADY" Gawd I love it. Paid cash there, didn't want to bust any bubble by whipping out the plastic and having to explain the different name.
Left the mall and by this time we're starving. "Once more into the breach" I spot a "99 Restaurant and Pub" It's getting late evening and I know the lighting in there is bad anyway. Walk in and find out there is a 20 minute wait. I can do this. I nod to her and she signs us in and they hand her one of those little beeper things. Having some time to kill I have my sis take a few pictures in front of the restaurant. Nobody says anything to us. "Two crazy old broads taking pictures." People only see what they want to see, and if you don't dispell the myth, then that's all they will see.
Beeper begins to flash, and in we go. Sit down and waitress asks, "Can I bring you ladies something to drink?" Sis orders a club soda with a twist, in a soft voice I say, "I'll have the same" Looking over the menue we decide what we want and when the waitress returns, sis does the ordering for us. Meal over and the check is presented, I pay in cash again, just to avoid any questions.
By now it's nearly 9 p.m. and I have to return to the land of pumpkins. Pull into a Walmart parking lot and go to the far end where I soak off my "glue on nails" , change clothes in the car, and as sis drives home I take Phyliss off and almost cry at having to become "him" again.
So,....The question is how did I manage this without wife suspecting anything? My sis and I happen to share a common interest in AA and wanted to attend an "all day conference" Okay Okay so I lied, so what? PHYLISS HAD FUN.