worried a little

[Starluscious]

Hi all here on crossdressers.com
I'm worried about some of the girls here on this site
I feel that the ones that are fat don't care . and it bothers me
being anorexic is not great
being fat is definitely not great
being healthy is
so for the girls that aren't healthy
can you take better care of your bodies please?
you'd look lovely as ladies if you didn't have fat on you
please girls on here
help out the other girls that don't think they're not healthy
denial is just as bad as a bold faced lie
the part that sucks is when it bites you so hard that you come to your senses and it's too late
you all get where I'm coming from
please girls
spread the word and help others where you can
I appreciate it
I can't do anything about this
but i'm sure you girls can
thanks for giving me your time to listen to what I have to say on my heart and mind
it means alot to not be shut out for what I have to speak of

love
Starluscious

[KewTnCurvy GG]

In two words: **** you! Jesus! And you are trying to say this as though you care? And not that it is a prejudice that you carry? Speak your 'heart'? You have got to be kidding me, right? Ppl come in all shapes, colors, beliefs etc. What about embracing differences? Honestly, Starluscious, that has got to be some of the most superficial hateful stuff I've read from you and you try and cloak it in caring. Sell it to someone else cuz I ain't buying.

kew

[Marlene4a]

Hi Star:

No, you are not shut out.

And what you are saying is well taken.

Love

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Hi Star:

No, you are not shut out.

And what you are saying is well taken.

Love

Not by me. lol I don't think it's about caring. You can be your 'proper' weight and be a health mess. Weight is not the only indicator of health. And there is still a lot of debate as to how much weight is bad for you. There are lots of different indicators of health. Weight is only one. What about all the girls here who do things like drink? or drugs? or other unhealthy behaviors? Are you concerned about those things? This is about predjudice I believe and not care.

kew

[Marlene4a]

Please you guys, you must remember, starlucious is a lot younger that we are, and does not know a lot about the things that we do.

Let's try and understand a little more of what she is Really feeling.

If I am wrong, correct me.

Sure I am trying to lose weight, and like JennyCD said, I don't constantly want to be reminded of it either.

I want to lose weight to look better as a CD, not for health reasons.

Star, does not realize that I think.

Star, I know you want to be "in".. This is not the way ;you do it.

[Marlene4a]

Hi Jenny:
How you doing love?
Yes I know, I am trying to look for the "good" in this gal's post, but having difficulty with it myself.
I also agree with Kew too, and want to tell Star off, but well, I don't know why star would post such a thing like this unless she is really depressed or something. Wish I knew.

Anyway, how are things going? How was the trip thru Oklahoma ? or have you yet to travel thru there.?

Please have caution, there are a lot of "turkeys" out there on the road. ( driving I mean- no pun intended) Please be careful on that highway hun.

Me

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Well, Marlene grrl, I'm glad you've stuck around though you and I think differently I respect you. As for Starluscious, if she's depressed my heart goes out to her. I want that for no one. As for her age, well, unless she's like 5 years old I don't find her behavior excuseable. So hugs to all and all are welcome. Just don't be condescending and hurtful to your sisters. It ain't nice. k?

hugs
kew

[Rachel Ann]

RIGHT ON Kew and Jenny! Marlene, your heart is in the right place but she has GOT to learn. Young men as well as young ladies are supposed to know this.

This is the kind of crap that sorority bitches and stewardess school house mothers say.

I once heard a fellow say of a friend "she would be pretty if she lost 50 pounds". I said "you moron, she IS pretty and obviously not bothered by her weight". He couldn't figure out why she wouldn't go out with him.

Star, if you said this to a GG in RL you could get your eyes clawed out in a New York Minute.


you all get where I"m coming from
We certainly do. But not the way you expected.



spread the word and help others where you can
How? By sending them to the Sudan?



it means alot to not be shut out for what I have to speak of
In that case I recommend you think longer and harder before speaking.



We're beautiful on the inside and out
Please write that on the board 100 times.

[KewTnCurvy GG]

We're beautiful on the inside and out


Please write that on the board 100 times.

:D:D:D:D

hugs
kew

[Jill]

I wasn't sure what to think about this one when I read it, but one thing that I think I know for sure, Starluscious is a nutbar. Where on earth does a person come off thinking that this type of post is appropriate? Marlene, I think that you have good intentions, but sometimes I think sometimes we are a little too accepting. I think Starluscious is way out of line, but he's said a lot of bizzarre things in the past so really this should come as no surprise.

[Marlene4a]

We must understand, that Starlucious is very young, and maybe does not think as quick, and in depth as we do.
She is a ( Like Susan says , a "youngin") and that is true, and does really not have the wherewithall that us seasoned people do from the standpoint of employing adroitness to her post. Meaning there is possibly an underlying crying out here.

Sometimes you have to look between the lines of these posts, and see what is really the question, problem, or external "hate" even, if you will.

These are delicate people we are dealing with here. They may not be as steadfast as we think.

Hopefully, this kid will come to her senses, and post something that is valueable to all of us including herself.

As I recall, she went through recently a tragic episode with her grandfather.

Maybe I stand alone, but we must be somewhat forgiving here in many ways, to the minds of these kids.

In the old days, Marlene, would have just f.......in, put her 5" across fist through her face, and while down, stepped on her chest, and laughed all the way to the next one.

I don't live there anymore.
Love ( the most powerful force known to man (or woman).

[Lily_gg]

*waves to get attention*

Youth is definitely no excuse - a mere quarter century here, and you don't catch me saying things like that to people!

Besides which, it's not only the young who are immature - I've met some very mature people younger than me, and some very immature ones who are older.

Granted, if you have genuine reason to worry about the health of your friends (be it weight, lack of exercise, drinking, drugs, poor diet [cholesterol, anorexia, bulimia etc], dangerous driving, etc), and you think mentioning it quietly and personally to them will help, do so. Otherwise, live and let live...

[Marlene4a]

Well Sisters:

So far, after reading all this rhethoric, I think Star gets the jest of all this, and hopefully REMEMBER, that before you post....THINK!!! who you might be hurting or embarassing...OK "?

I gave my forgiving and positive side.
But If I jumped on the other side..........All these other adverse comments would seem TAME compared to mine.

Are you listening Star?
Me

[tightsuk1969]

yes i iam a little bit over weight , so what i dont need someone like you telling wot to do , wot i do is my own bussines NOT YOURS . so shut up and but out.

i am very happy as i am

neil

[Sandra H]

Hi girls.

Giving Star the benefit of the doubt and considering her age, I am prepared to think that she did not mean it to come out the way it did. The old saying comes to mind. “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it”.

Looking at Stars profile, I noticed that as an occupation she is a chef in a fast food restaurant. Like me, she may see more people who should eat better, but are just too lazy to do anything about it. I was retired and looked after my wife during her recent illness, after her death in April I took a part-time evening job more to get me out and about and to help with my depression rather than to earn the money. I now deliver pizza for a local pizza store two evenings a week. I have noticed that the people who order the most both in number of times a month I visit their homes and in amount the spend are those who in reality should not be ordering pizza at all. Either because they are so overweight or they cannot afford it.

Over here in the UK there is a public education campaign about obesity. Some could say it is nothing to do with anyone if they are too fat for their own good. But here in the UK our healthcare is free under the National Health Service and people who are overweight are costing the health service billions of pounds every year in preventable illnesses.

It was only when I took up this part time job in September that I noticed as I have said, those who order the most are those who should not do. They live in poor areas, the houses are in need of repair and they are very over weight and in many cases when they open the doors you would not want to have a coffee in their house because it looks so dirty.

As for it creeping up on you, tell me. I am a little over weight but I am doing something about it (honest) but it is so hard. It would be better if I had lived like I do now as far as eating is concerned so I would not be overweight and trying hard to get it off. What do they say? Prevention is better than cure. But then we should remember, we are only human and life is for living.

[Rachel Ann]

This is a little off-topic, but it seems as if half the women I have ever known, including my sister, forever get health-and-fitness pamphlets in the mail from their fathers, which always infuriates them. Sons never get these, of course.

[Donna Louise]

Star, you may have had good intentions but your message was lost in its delivery.

I agree with Kew.

There is no age excuse. We are all adults here! At least in age anyway. Me maybe a little more so then others :(

There are many things in life that are better left unsaid. At the very least quitely whispered over coffee in a very caring manner.

Like many, I have a few extra pounds. Would I like to loose them? Of course, wouldn't we all. I am completely healthy even with a couple pounds.

Star you should think a little more and reread a posts before sending it.

I did administrative work for over 20 years in the military. When I wrote something, I would let it sit for 2 days, go back and read it to make sure that it conveyed the message I wanted to be received. You would be surprised how often it doesn't.

Hugs
Donna Louise

[Wendy me]

star....you just might think your doing a good thing its your right to think what you want i will always love you for that..........just as my right to my thoughts ......
can you think back to when you first down loaded your first pic. on this site????????
scary, unshure,hart pounding..............the courage to do that is some thing to be prazed to put your slefe out for the world to see.............yes a lot of us can fitten up
get the pitcher that every one is here for a little carring and support .............
the best meds you can get...........................

we all have a little baggage that we carry...........we are here to helpe each outher carry it not put stones in it

i did not think i still would be alive now way past what i thought ....thanks for god watch out for me

over half my live torn intormole rideing with the angles, and danceing with the deivel...
in need of some "work" my slefe but here and alive

one day at a time one step at a time

[Georgette]

I wasn't going to say anything about this post , but as an X business owner I think that you are way off base Star, you don't come on to people like some sort of super model. I could really give you a few insults, but being older and I hope a little wiser I can control myself. Maybe I better just get of this reply before I really get to the ponit of turning it into a Brawl.

[ChristineRenee]

Star,

I'll try to keep this brief...and civil. You may have thought you were being caring and concerned, but your post was totally off base and out of line.

Personally, I think you owe the people of this forum an apology.


Christine Renee

[Wendy me]

star now don't start with mabey i wll just leave and lets all not start with oh don't leave you are you and as manny might get upset with what you put out for all to see
a post that we might not ment to offend people can and will do just that some times you can't help that ............i just might of put out 1 or 2 that were in bad taste (mabey more) like a bullett shot out of a gun you can't recall a post once you press that box....
still love you ,just be you !!!
not too proude to say come over here and get a hug girl (i think you need one now)

[JoannaDees]

In two words: **** you! Jesus! And you are trying to say this as though you care? And not that it is a prejudice that you carry? Speak your 'heart'? You have got to be kidding me, right? Ppl come in all shapes, colors, beliefs etc. What about embracing differences? Honestly, Starluscious, that has got to be some of the most superficial hateful stuff I've read from you and you try and cloak it in caring. Sell it to someone else cuz I ain't buying.

kew

Sometimes I wonder about you Kew. You claim to be a therapist, and yet you fly off the handle like this, guns blazing, and not for the first time. You also set the tone and give implicit direction for others to send the daggers flying in Star's direction. I don't agree that Star's post was in proper form, but I will give her the benefit of the doubt, assuming she is taking to heart the current warnings of the fattening of America. It would have been better to steer Star in the right direction with at most a gentle scolding. I am disheartened to see the vitriol in this thread. Is this not supposed to be a supportive fourm?

Joanna

[Wendy me]

Sometimes I wonder about you Kew. You claim to be a therapist, and yet you fly off the handle like this, guns blazing, and not for the first time. You also set the tone and give implicit direction for others to send the daggers flying in Star's direction. I don't agree that Star's post was in proper form, but I will give her the benefit of the doubt, assuming she is taking to heart the current warnings of the fattening of America. It would have been better to steer Star in the right direction with at most a gentle scolding. I am disheartened to see the vitriol in this thread. Is this not supposed to be a supportive fourm?

Joanna

joanna you rock girl on your own two feet, sweet simple and you without the crowd you go girl

[Starluscious]

I'll tell you why I said what I said. because I lost a friend of mine in life that was fat when I was younger. and I wanted to help them out and help them be healthier. but I guess it's wrong to help others out that are struggling. alot of you are attacking me for what I have to say. I do worry about people that drink and smoke. I'd rather we live good lives and not have to look back on all our regrets. but no one wants to listen to a 20 year old crossdresser. like the stereotypes in our society are. Young is always dumb. and old is always wise. I'll show you how much I have respect for senior citizens. when I'm at the mall I hold doors open always for senior citizens. and when I see teens slam doors on senior citizens it really bugs me most teens can't respect the elderly. cuz some day we are going to be old. wether we like it or not.
when I was 9 years old I held doors open for senior citizens and have been doing so for 11 years. friggin attack me for being a caring person then. it's close minded people in this world that give hate a new meaning. I'm trying to help others. and obviously only half understand me. the rest are just. you're young you're dumb. you don't know sh**. being healthy means you can get up and not have to worry about getting a heart attack or stroke from being overweight. people really think they're happy being fat. but inside they're miserable. no one wants to admit it but if they looked in their heart they would. some of you ladies are attacking me more because of my age and not just cuz what I have to say. yet it's America. we're allowed to speak up about things. yet when I do it. some of you attack me as if I'm this immature weak girl who doesn't know sh** in this world. well when I lost my friend that was fat years ago. I wanted to show more and more care for fat people and not just one person. the stereotypes in our society are ridiculous. and this is one of them. Young is always dumb. that's not always true. I was always a good when it came to staying out of trouble with the law etc. I don't ever wanna be in jail. it's not worth it and definitely not cool to deal with., I want to live life where I can die happy from old age and look back in Heaven that I helped people out and not let them be miserable inside and try to deal with it. yes there are more fat people in America. it should bother me. having extra weight you shouldn't isn't going to make getting up in the morning and doing everything you usually do any easier. heck you can come close to heart attack just trying to walk 5 miles with too much weight on you. cuz it's a strain on your heart. and you can die. so mostly what some of you are saying is that I have no right to speak up. let people get fat. and die someday from being overweight. oh yeah that really sounds like good thinking there. I"ll just let someone close die because they didn't want my help. I refuse to let people corrupt themselves. alot of you don't understand me and what I have to say. you just might think you do. because the young always get a little sympathy in between getting trashed on. I turned out well as a kid and always wanted to care for others before myself. If I cared for myself before others. I would of said a hateful remark like f*** the fat people in this world I hope they all die a horrible death. but it's not in me to say that because I don't ever want to show that kind of negativity. wether you ladies go into denial about this or not. I have always been a caring person. even after being harassed, beat up, etc in life by punks bullies, girls. so I'm pretty strong for surviving. as much as I went thru the harassment. I was the only kid who would stand there and take it and not lash back like some of you would. So don't you girls start hating on me when you fully don't understand. I don't anyone an apology. because I"m showing that I care for others. when I see less fat people walking around and more healthier ones instead then there will be more smiles on my face. and it's better to live life the best you can. then to try and get thru it like it's not a big deal. life is serious. it's what you make it. remember that girls. that is all for now. I don't have to apologize for showing my care. you girls might not see it as care because you want to attack me for what I have to say. I didnt' say it in a mean way. you girls are just not being open hearted like women should be. the minute I say one little remark that's meant as helpful. I get looked at as if I"m trash. Well I'm someone and I will not let you girls destroy me. I'm not a nutjob or nutcase. so whoever said that can shove it. cuz I'm a caring, open hearted, compassionate, understanding person. but no one wants to see the good in me. or least some of you don't. so til we can all get along. I'm not going to be posting any more. just commenting on other people's posts. or am I going to get attacked for doing that too? friends care for friends in this world. but I guess it's wrong to care about how others treat their bodies. crazy world we live in . we'd all be happier if we could all get along. but to some of you on here. this is a war of words. I get attacked for speaking. but one someone else does it it's perfectly ok. I'm a person with feelings and I deserve to be heard just like the rest of you. so one has a right to shut me out because I have something to say.

love
Starluscious

[Starluscious]

if you take care of your body well
it will take care of you of you too

remember that who doubt me on what I have to say

love
Starluscious

[Starluscious]

error
*of you too* not of you of you*

what am I going to get attacked for that too?
hope not

Starluscious

[Starluscious]

no one has a right to shut me out*

[Wendy me]

star sit down relax unwind un bunch your panttys young and doumb ??????relax if this is the frist time you got all wond up ?????????i don't think so from a "OLD PERSON" just be this too will pass but only if you don't hold on to it ...let it go and be free of it .....itrealy works trust me .........a old person ........and thanks for holding the doors


huge old person huggs

[DonnaT]

Star, http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_28_121.gif
It's admirable that you want to help people, but we know our shortcomings (if you want to call them that) and don't need anyone else to point them out.

Some, in fact, quite a few folks are fine with the way they look and it is not anyone else's place to indicate that they should feel differntly about themselves. Period!

Besides, it rarely helps. Comments from others pointing out what they see as shortcomings in another isn't going to change what one thinks about himself/herself. It will only change what they think about you.

Only they can change when they want to, not when you want them to. For example, alcoholics or anorexics. You can talk until blue in the face, but until the person wants to change, the talk won't do a bit of good.

One other thing, even though someone may appear to be in poor health because they look overweight, it is not necessarily so. I know someone who is heavier than I am, but all health idicators checked by a doctor indicate this person is in exellent health.

So the lesson for today is, tact when dealing with others, tollerance for others, and to be there for them when they need you. Never criticize someone because of their appearance, for example.

My dad taught me, think before you speak, so I didn't talk much. :D

[Amelie]

No one is going to shut you up. They don't have the power, unless you let them.
I said to you in another thread, that if you make a post that people don't like, they will tell you. It is up to you to defend what you say, like you are doing now. Sometimes you will be alone in your right to defend yourself, I have been there. But you must not back down. You must make your case, especially when you feel so strongly about it. Also, you must not let it get to you, this can cause hurt inside you. Do not take it personal, do not get angry, it is not worth it.(I wish I could take my own advise).
So, stick with what you believe and defend it, don't complain about how you are treated. Just defend your viewpoint.


If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for,
he isn't fit to live-Martin L. King


Amelie

[Starluscious]

I express how I feel about getting attacked and you're taking me wrongly. don't do that Wendy. I"m being sincere and straightfoward. you just don't realize it yet. in fact I"ve been nothing but sincere and straightfoward in my care. but not many want to accept me so I guess I"ll have to deal with mouth wars that I never started. I never started anything . no one that accepts me wants to understand. helping others out is never wrong. but when I do it I get attacked. I"m defending myself in what I have to speak up about and it's still wrong? open your hearts to me girls and stop going deaf on me. I have a right to be heard. hate spreads hate. and you girls are doing it. the ones that are hating on me that is. so we're not solving anything by getting mad at me. but not many care about my thoughts and what I have to say. I mine as well be another blank face in the crowd that gets ignored because what they have to say is not important but what everyone else has to say is so important that everyone gathers around and the blank face in the crowd ignores for speaking up. such a cruel society we live in. I'm not being cruel. no one wants to see the good in me. and for the ones that do I thank you. there is good in me. but not many want to see it in me.

peace
Starluscious

[Wendy me]

star i am the last one to nock you down i just want you to know that its as ok for you to be you as it is for me to be me as far as me trying to take a shot at you no girlfreind you speak your peace weather i agree or not i will always defrnd your right to say and feel the way you do . i just don't want this or anything to get too far under your skin some times we tend to hold on to things till thay have left a scar on us not "STAR" bashing now "him" on the outher side only has one way his . wendy is a whole lot more openminded . so girl freind not bashing you i ment what i said in the pm

[Wendy me]

star not bashing you just dont want you to get too cought up in all this i will stick by and defend your right to say what you want even if what i think is diffrent you defend what you belive in thats your right so don't think i am on this big star bashing thing
i ment what i said in the pm

[Amelie]

I am confused here? Where exactly in Star's post is she out of order? What line upsets you?, be specific.
What exactlyis meant by the "Manner" in which she says it? I don't understand what this means.
The only line I would have a question with is when Star says the girls would look prettier if they lost weight. But I fail to see what else is wrong. I need someone to explain which lines are offensive. I can not see to clearly what the problem is.
Amelie

[Wendy me]

shi- see i can't even run this dam- thing right

[Starluscious]

I will let the subject die when people will let me help them out and not shut me out.

peace
Starluscious

I'm speaking my mind on the subject. but to you automatically after reading my posts. you think I'm insulting fat people. I'm trying to help others. that you understand now. but
in the case of me helping. you're telling me I should let people get fat and die from being overweight. you still don't understand where i'm coming from. I am defending myself. but no matter what I have to say it's not gonna matter to some of you. because I"m just another face in the crowd. I'm not trying to force sympathy on this subject. it bothers me people really think they're happy when really it's a lie. that's like me saying I'm happy not having friends. which is a lie. friends are great to have. being fat and thinking you're happy is a lie
also you don't know who I was concerned about in this world that is overweight so no one should get mad at me because I'm concerned about fat people in this world. if I didn't care for fat people I wouldn't care if you died from a heart attack. but I do care that you all live. but some of you dont' want to see it that way or manner. my post was not rude. I was sincere and straightforward. some of you just aren't open minded and hearted to what I have to say on the matter. instead it's just oh he said this and he's wrong for that so we'lll speak up and attack him. but yet when I speak up I'm the fool. still no one understands me on this subject. instead only some are getting my points. and some are turning it around me and making me look like I have no right to talk up on subjects on overweight. if we're gonna make peace I can tell this is not going to be easy. I"m still being nice in my posts but not many see that because they're close minded to alot of my posts. well I never closed you off girls when you posted something. in fact i'm trying to comment on alot of the posts here. but I mine as well be attacked for doing that too. cuz the minute I post something that concens me I get ripped on. thanks alot girls you really helped me out with this subject most are afraid to even bring up. I am glad some of you understand me better. but some of you are still falling on deaf ears on me. so I guess it's going to take a while to get thru to some of you. since you're not being open ended to my thoughts on this. and if you ladies read my posts alot better and detailed you'd fully understand my concern on fat people. and not take it as oh he's dissing fat people let's rag on him. because he's just another caring person in this world we don't care to talk to. that's how you girls make me feel. that no matter what I say to this someone is going to put me down. and some are going to agree with me. it's sad we can't all get along on this subject. alot of you are attacking me for absolutely nothing. and I mean that literally. nothing!

peace
Starluscious

[DonnaT]

Amelie, her heart was in the right place, but the message wasn't worded right, in my opinion.


I feel that the ones that fat don't care . and it bothers me
being anorexic is not great
being fat is definitely not great
being healthy is
so for the girls that aren't healthy
can you take better care of your bodies please?
you'd look lovely as ladies if you didn't have fat on you


Because someone is fat doesn't mean they don't care. My older brother is in the upper 300 lb range, but his medical conditions caused it (all his life) and he does care. It bothers him greatly. Telling someone they don't care about themselves is the reason they are fat is not cool.

Being fat is not synonomous with being unhealthy, just as being skinny is not synonomous with being healthy. One of my best friends dies last month. He was a coach for the local boys/girls club. The picture of health.

There are quite a few ladies that look lovely even if they are heavier than others. And beauty should be measured by what the person is inside, not outside.

Like I said in an earlier post, her intensions were good, but not very tactful and not what someone wants to hear from others. Especially if they hear it from family all the time.

[Starluscious]

nothing I said is insulting
people just want to attack it cuz it's a thought

just like if you said
oh I like that dress
they'd like to know why you liked it

but I show concern for girls overweight and it turns into this war
people really are lying to themselves when they say they're happy being fat
if people were happy being fat they wouldn't overstuff their faces
it's guilt and it gets worse as they go into denial

attack me for my concern about others
it will just turn into a war because that's what you're making it
I never started anything
when someone is concerned they have a right to bring it up
and yet when I do it
it's oh we don't need to hear that
not everything in this world is positive
I'll explain something else
fat people that wear clothes
don't get to wear them as long
seeing as how they eventually break
yet healthy people can wear clothes much longer
what you don't understand is
we have to specially make clothes for fat people
but it costs alot more money since the sizes are harder to work with
again you're gonna attack me no matter what
you see my concern as insults
you see my compassion as hate
you see my love as war
it's none of the above that you may be thinking

my love, compassion, and concern is from the heart
but because I'm young to you girls
I'm looked at as immature because of my age and what I have to say about the subject
yet if someone much older then me said that
you'd say
oh let's hear what you have to say about that
it's slandering me for what I have to say because of my age and what bothers me about it
that's what this to you
I can't speak my mind about something
but you all have a right to
only half of you really get what i'm saying
and it's not hate
people just want to make something hateful so someone can look bad
people have to learn to grow thick skins
cuz nothing I said was insults
insults would be
"hope you die a horrible death etc
my you'd you look great if you were healthier and not fat is not a diss. it's letting them know that they'll be able to fit in their clothes and walk around and do the daily things easier with less weight on them.
but I'm sure if I said that first in my post on this instead of my thoughts in general on concern of fat people I'd still get attacked
you 're going to make this a mouth war
because I'm not important in what I have to say
but you are
so you're going to crush me for everything I have to say
that's what is happening
this is a mouth war over nothing
it's just care and you're turning it into pure HATE

Starluscious

[Amelie]

I don't see this as insulting.
The first line she says, "I',m worried"and "I feel that" When she says it with these words I do not find it insulting. She does not say the fat ones don't care, she says "I feel that they don't care" It is a feeling she has, I see nothing wrong here.

The second line you mention- for the girls that arn't healthy can you take better care of your bodies please. What is wrong with this???
This makes sense, it is not insulting. who is it insulting? She directs it at no one specific. How is it insulting?
The next line I agree

YThe denial line I really don't understand so i can't say if it is bad or good , all i know it didn't bother me. In fact only one line might have bothered me, but not enough to make a comment about.

[Starluscious]

if people knew their shortcomings
they'd fix them
not live with them
better to live free of problems then piled with them
people just think they're happy fat
but what people don't understand is
most fat people don't live past 50
but if you girls wanna overstuff yourselves and not care I care about your weight
but it's your grave your digging for not choosing to take care of your body.
for those of you that want to take to being healthier then that's just great
but for those of you that want to tear me down because i"m concerned about fat people
then someday you'll realize in your heart this was help not harm and alot of you closed your hearts, ears, and minds to me the minute you saw the post by me
that's what this is
one huge mouth over just caring for others
and it won't end til we can all come to peace
but not many of you want to see the good in what I said
to some of you it's just evil words
and things no one has a right to bring up

[DonnaT]

Star, can you see from my two posts above where we're coming from. Of course you didn't mean it as an insult, but the way you said it was taken as insutling.


I will let the subject die when people will let me help them out and not shut me out.

See, you don't quite get it yet. You CANNOT help..You can only turn others away if you persist.

This is a crossdressing forum, not a health forum. People come here for help with their crossdressing, and for the comraderie.

[Amelie]

Ok if she didn't say what she meant correctly then everyone should have asked her to explain better. I am sorry, but everyone once again jumped into this group mentallity and attacked Star. All of your comments could also be looked upon as harsh.

Jenny said-Piss-off to Star, What kind of manner is this kind of talk
You also said Star had a defective personality, these words were direct insults to Star. Star did not directly insult you.
I think Star might have been unclear in what she said, but she didn't deserve to be directly insulted by you, or the others here.

[Starluscious]

It's nice to have people understand me and not down me because I have something to say
nothing I meant in what I said was harmful. it just seems that way. because alot of you have closed your minds to me no matter what. it's as though I can something and it will so be wrong. yet if someone else brings up the exact same thing they get regarded as being listened to. I have heard out you girls and what you said. but most of you are just plain hating on me. this went from understanding me to hating me and what I have to say. so until the hate goes away in you girls that don't think good of me. this subject has every right to be brought up. no one is bold enough though to bring it up. because they're afraid of what it will mean to others. if it's important it should be brought up. if i'ts not then it shall not come to mind. well what I said did come to mind and it was important. so for those of you that didn't realize the importance of this subject then I"m sorry for you not opening your eyes to this world more and give open ears and hearts to what people have to say. what alot of you said of me is pure hate. which you're spreading. I wasn't spreading any kind of negativity in this post. people are just afraid to bring up subjects that people would rather avoid because they don't want others to reach out to them. which is what friends. and by me reaching out to those out there I"m getting bitten mostly in the hand over and over. so I won't let the hand out til I know it's safe to.

[Amelie]

Star, you are right, it depends who is doing the talking. If some one else had brought up this subject, some one more senior, I doubt if it would have gotten the same response.

Love Amelie

[Wendy me]

girl i don't think anyone out here hates you at least i would like to think it to be true we all have our crossess to bear some carry them at lot longer than outhers

[DonnaT]

Amelie, you're right of course. Not very ladylike to jump on someone without poiniting out what you believe to be the errors in her statements and/or request further clarification. Which I have tried to do above, without jumping down her throat. Wish I had chimed in earlier. Now, if I said anything insulting please let me know so I can correct myself or explain further.

[Amelie]

No, Donna you said nothing insulting. you made some very valid points which I didn't see.
Amelie

[Starluscious]

I wholeheartedly
younger adults such as I get trashed on for saying something that bothers me
but if someone else says it much older
they get looked as if what they have to say is important
regardless of age
everyone has a right to be heard on a subject
I heard the girls out
most are just plain hating
and it's not helping any of us or them
it just makes things worse
yes alot of them are jumping on the wagon to push me down on what I'm saying
and they're only making it worse by getting mad
I didn't insult anyone
some on here are just close minded to me and some are open
I can see the ones that are open
if we have more open minds this type of subject would be able to be brought up and
have great insights on it without hating on me
which is what this
one huge hate war on a subject people are afraid to bring up
it's crazy don't you agree?
thanks for being open hearted
I never insulted anyone I agree
it's sad we can't all come to peace on this
and I mean all of us
not just some of us

[Anita]

I have read a lot of the replies from all sides
If one remembers that when posting it is like cutting a piece of wood "measure twice cut once" or
Ensure brain is in gear before operating mouth
I am not saying the posting is wrong but if you read it twice before sending it once I think you may have at least rewritten it

[Rachel Ann]

I keep swearing not to post to this thread any more, but . . .


I didn't insult anyone
Star, whether something is insulting depends on how others take it, not on what you intended to mean by it.

We all know what is paved with good intentions.

[Wendy me]

rachel love that tag line

[Rachel Ann]

Thanks Wendy <3 I can't take credit for it but it seemed to fit.

Love

[genevieve_ohara]

OK everyone....

Please leave Star alone.

Quit beating up on her.

She has a right to her opinion.

She has a right to be heard.

So do you. But I hate it when we lynch a sister.

Remember: She's no newbie. She's one of us. I love her.

PLEASE LISTEN TO THESE WORDS:

"Come on now grrlies, let's be civil and treat others as we would wish to be treated. It makes me sad when I see meanness here! This is to be a sanctuary for all TG's and it's like there are 'gangs' and 'cliques'. Very sad indeed. hugs to all who come in peace who seek understand and kindness"

-KewtnCurvey Oct. 21

Dig?

Love

G

[Rachel Ann]

Yes ma'am. I am properly ashamed of myself. Bed without supper?

[JoannaDees]

I have been guilty of this with a few others and I wish to appologise to everyone for this. I'll be more careful and sympathetic in my comments. :(

Sarah Kat if you read this I'm sorry...

Just where is Sarah????? Nobody is ever on mIRC!

[Wenda]

wow!! I wasn't that offended by the posting. If I stop drinking a large beer every day, I will get back to the weight I was in 1966. Not an issue. I need to look after myself better. fact. no big deal. wenda.

[Sandra H]

Hi Girls.

I think enough has been said about this tread. As I said in my post, sweet meant well it was just not put very well. But when you look at his other threads and posts this could be more a lack of ability to put into writing what he is trying to say. So how about giving him the benefit of the doubt and lets all kiss and make up? ;)

On a lighter side, this talk about weight reminded me of a little joke I had with the doctor when she asked what is the lightest you have been? I said, 6lb 4 oz LOL. :) Mind you I was only a few hours old, since then it’s been going up every month. :( :(

[Lily_gg]

Wow! I've never been that light - I started out at way over 10lbs... :D

[Sharon]

This all seems to be ridiculous to me. If you other girls are anything like me, you spend an awful lot of time in front of a mirror, or on trying on clothes that may be a size too small. Do you really think I need someone telling me that I could stand to lose a few pounds? Believe me, each and every one of us knows every last flaw we have, real and imagined. We see more than anyone else ever will!

Look at my posted pictures and tell me if you think the dress or hair is wrong. Tell me that I'm dressing too young for my age. Please point out that I'm applying a particular makeup incorrectly, or could do better with something else. But there is no need to tell me I'm fat, or that my nose is too big. Believe me, I know!

[Danny]

A lot of this crap about how we're all obese is probably generated by the recent government pronouncements on the subject. If big brother can tell us that we are all too fat, then it probably encourages others.

I have lost friends who are thin. Shall I then encourage others to gain weight? Medical matters in general are complicated and very individualized...and are best left to an individual and his/her physician. The problem of yo-yo dieting to shed 20 or 25 pounds has health implications too.

I don't need medical advice from any of the members here. And messages that relate negatively to other members personally, as opposed to what they have posted, is almost always ill advised.

[Rachel Ann]

OK, breaking my vow not to post here again, but a little historical perspective:

In the 1950s, the US had huge grain surpluses. We could hardly give the stuff away. The government had to pay farmers to not plant grain to keep them from going under.

As a result, for the first time, corn syrup became cheaper than cane or beet sugar as a sweetener. This made calories *very* cheap for the first time ever.

It began as a US thing but quickly spread worldwide. So that is why people eat higher-calorie food today than in the past.

[Alayna]

Sometimes I wonder about you Kew. You claim to be a therapist, and yet you fly off the handle like this, guns blazing, and not for the first time. You also set the tone and give implicit direction for others to send the daggers flying in Star's direction.
Joanna
Is she not entitled to her opinions just like the rest of us because she's a therapist? We're not her patients, and she doesn't have to be in therapy mode 24/7. We all get emotional and she's no different, but I think that her opinions (rational or emotional) are well-thought and shouldn't be dismissed so easily.


Star, you can say all you want about not holding back, or wanting to care about others despite some peoples opinions. Consider though that right now a lot of people are offended by what you say regardless of your intent. Do you honestly think that all this animosity is a result of you helping people? You sound like the U.S. government.

What about the context of what you're writing? Obesity is a huge and sensitive issue in America, and you have to tread lightly when addressing it - do you discuss other sensitive issues such as race, immigration, and income with the same tactless approach?

Of course you're entitled to your opinions and I'm glad you want to help others, but you have no right to act this way. I don't care how noble your intentions are, all of your posts are condescending and rude. If you want to make people aware of an issue, don't do it with a wrecking-ball.

[JoannaDees]

Is she not entitled to her opinions just like the rest of us because she's a therapist? We're not her patients, and she doesn't have to be in therapy mode 24/7. We all get emotional and she's no different, but I think that her opinions (rational or emotional) are well-thought and shouldn't be dismissed so easily.
.

I believe a profanity laced tirade is neither an opinion or helpful. I believe it is an attack, plain and simple, and I reserve the right to voice my displeasure at it. And yes, I believe one should live as one preaches, because if not are we not a hyppocrite? I was not asking for "therapy mode", I was asking for what is considered proper communication techniques. And yes, we get emotional, but you do not react on that initial emotion (especially when you have the delay of the written word that can be reread and massaged and "taken back" ... as I have done with this response). And yes, Kew does have many well thought and rational posts, but that was not one of them! Additionally, if you reread my post, you will see I did not "dismiss" her message, just the heavy-handed attacking response to a non-aggressive and ill-worded post.

Joanna

[Alayna]

What's wrong with profanity? I think it's a very effective communication technique. Kew was obviously offended by that post, and she expressed her objection quite lucidly. You can use profanity without being profane. Some people choose to use it, some don't. But if you force yourself to hold back you run the risk of insincerity. My therapist swore all the time, and not for any reason except that that's the kind of person he is. He knew I wasn't offended by it (I swear quite a bit), and I prefer that he did. How much are you going to take someone's advice if you feel they're being fake? Profanity is abused a lot, but used properly it's an important tool to express someone's emotions.

You definitely have the right to express your displeasure with Kew's comments - as does Kew with Star's - as do I with yours - as do you with mine. Star also has the right to her comments, but cannot justifiably feel attacked or surprised if other people are offended by them.

[racquel]

read the entire thread,went to make supper,thought about what i read,came back online to re-read the entire thread and responses.all i can come up with has been said before,it can be summed up- in two words.

[Sara Kat]

Star: You do know you can edit your posts for errors right? You don't have to make multiple posts to post your corrections.

[Tristen Cox]

Star: You do know you can edit your posts for errors right? You don't have to make multiple posts to post your corrections.

I'd listen to the girl with the gun:eek::D

[Sara Kat]

I'd listen to the girl with the gun:eek::D
*click*

Believe it. :D

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Sometimes I wonder about you Kew. You claim to be a therapist, and yet you fly off the handle like this, guns blazing, and not for the first time. You also set the tone and give implicit direction for others to send the daggers flying in Star's direction. I don't agree that Star's post was in proper form, but I will give her the benefit of the doubt, assuming she is taking to heart the current warnings of the fattening of America. It would have been better to steer Star in the right direction with at most a gentle scolding. I am disheartened to see the vitriol in this thread. Is this not supposed to be a supportive fourm?

Joanna

Well, Joanna sweety, I am a therapist and I'm human. I found what she said offensive and I expressed that. I also followed it with a post that said if she's depressed, my heart goes out to her. As for what she said, I stand by what I said but I'll use different wording, ok? I think what she said was thoughtless, rude and hurtful--not to mention shallow. This obviously took more than two words to say. But honestly that's how I feel. I, like others, have hot buttons too; she pushed one of them with this thread.

hugs
kew

[DonnaD]

I dunno, I have read this entire thread and I hate beating dead horses but I must.

Star, what is happening isnt really your fault, partly, sure but not all. With youth comes a certain idealism that you've only been on the earth a small amount of time and therefore the outlook most people have of you is that you're young and dumb. That point said here comes the rest.

Your initial post did come across as harsh, large basing isn't good at all and it kind of came across in that condescending way. Most people in life only hear the first 3 sentences of a statement like that and then make their replies, that is wrong as well. As time goes by, you'll learn the verbal "thrust and parry" of conversations and thusly be taken more seriously.

And with forums, the thrust and parry is alot more pointed imho, therefore you must REALLY watch how you voice an opinion or a thought, in forums you can get jumped like mad for one misplaced sentiment, as we are seeing here.

I usually take and read a thread, walk away for a few minutes or hours, then reply if it pertains to something I want to speak on, kind of engage brain before engaging communication medium type thing, but thats been said before in this thread.

I hold no malice towards anyone here at all, this place is great to help those of us who need to be here, I like to call this forum the last bastion of intelligence in an outpost of fools.

But thats my 2.5 cents worth on this thread, hopefully now we can get back to our regularily scheduled program.

DonnaD

[Wendy me]

i think we as a group look for the "hidding meaning" or "meassage" in things but as put by one person in the whole post i read them all and got my 2 cents worth in as well........oh yea the person ??? the phrase????????
kew......"im human" as long as we all have this common flaw we can agee to disagre
girls big groupe huggs......were all in this together

[Sweet Susan]

Well, ho, ho, ho, and a bottle of rum. I've been away for a few days, and I come back to find all of you girls in a cat fight! Lighten up! I read Star's original post, and after finishing it, my first response wasn't "Star's a nutcase," or "**** You," or any of the other ridiculous over-inflated barrage of insults. My first thought was, 'well, I wonder what this will bring? Interesting post.' What I read had as much hate and misunderstanding as I've seen in a long time. You "GUYS" may want to look like women, but you don't even come close to having the sensitivity of women. Marlene, having the common sense that many of you seem to lack, was also lambasted with insults, and all she tried to do was bring some sense into the conversation. Kew is a therapist and all she can say is **** you. Now that's grown up. And her response later was "I'm human." Great defense. Sounds to me like Kew flew off the handle without thinking, not the kind of reaction one would want from a therapist.

Lighten up ladies, it's the season.

[DonnaD]

This is exactly what I was getting at with my reply. there is a term in forums called "flaming" no its not what you may think but it still occurs on forums, the one thing among many that I like about THIS particular forum is that it seemed like there wasnt any flaming going on at all, in any thread.

Now I'm really starting to wonder about this forum, if people are going to flame others here, is there any hope for us to get along and be helpful and friendly to eachother?

I think we all, in this particular thread need to take two steps back and decide why we are actually here, are we here to openly discuss the issues we all face? or are we here to flame eachother?

Bowing out of this thread before I decide to do something bad.

DonnaD...

[Sweet Susan]

Donna, don't bow out. There is always room for a whisper of sanity in a room full insecure insanity. I agree with everything you said in your last post. Perhaps Star didn't put forth the genesis of her thread in the most "polite" or "politically correct" fashion, but that doesn't mean that we can't have sane discourse about the topic.

[DonnaD]

You're absosmurfly right,


I was basically saying that to kind of push myself into making a decesion, and that decesion was to stay here and fight for the just cause. I've been a forum user now since pc's went from coupling modems and BBS sites to now and I have seen forums go sour in the blink of a pretty eye.

That can't happen here, there's too many nice folks here and we can ALL get past this bump in the road...


Hugz all...


DonnaD...

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Kew is a therapist and all she can say is **** you. Now that's grown up. And her response later was "I'm human." Great defense. Sounds to me like Kew flew off the handle without thinking, not the kind of reaction one would want from a therapist.

I could get defensive and provide long explanations here but I don't feel the need. I, in my last post, restated what I wanted to say.

hugs
kew

[Jenessa Michelle]

I have read this befor and was not going to respond untill it came back again today and I read your long ranting rebutal.


can you take better care of your bodies please?
you'd look lovely as ladies if you didn't have fat on you
No matter what you say your reaseons are for this post, I have to say this one sentence blows it it all to hell. It was not helping, caring words but a mean spirite, snide, hatefull comment that, in my mind, destroys any credibility you were trying to build. All I got from it was you saying that if you're fat, you can't be pretty. As someone who is a few pounds over weight and working on it, all I have to say is "Kiss my ass:mad: ".

[Jenessa Michelle]

I will let the subject die when people will let me help them out and not shut me out.What an arogant statement. you need to ask if people want your help, not demand they accept it. the more I read from you, the more respect I lose for you.

[Jenessa Michelle]

nothing I said is insulting
people just want to attack it cuz it's a thought

just like if you said
oh I like that dress
they'd like to know why you liked it

but I show concern for girls overweight and it turns into this war
people really are lying to themselves when they say they're happy being fat
if people were happy being fat they wouldn't overstuff their faces
it's guilt and it gets worse as they go into denialEvery thing you said was insulting, and I have never to anyone said I was happy being over weight. What I dont need is someone shoving my ****ing nose in it because they want to impose they're standards about what constatutes beauty on me.

[Amelie]

Jenessa, I think most of the girls here agree that Star didn't put up a well written post. Some, like myself, would rather her explain why she would say what she did. What many feel is sad is the language of insults said directly at Star. She did not directly insult anyone.
I am on other forums where the people are much younger than we are, yet they have more respect for each other. if someone says something wrong or insulting, they are questioned and corrected in a civilized manner. Yet on this forum where most of the members are older and educated, the responces to Star have been child-like, filled with childesh insults. Not something adults would be saying to each other. Like Susan said we want to look like women, but we don't even come close to the sensitivity of women.
And No, cursing is not an accepted form of responding to another Cd in a post. If cursing is a proper response, then curse to your bosses at work, see how they accept this form of communicating.

I also find it strange that everyone here was on the bandwagon for a cleaner forum, yet when one of the CDs here is insulted with cursing, all the do-gooders are silent. They see no evil this time around. So, a naked man is bad, but cursing a fellow member is clean. This is what I meant by a pack mentality, if the right person says something is bad all of you jump on the wagon, yet here you are mostly silent except a few. Even the mods and administrator are silent. Well the administrator is always silent.
Amelie

[DonnaD]

You know, I think I was right from the before mentioned reply of mine.

I am gonna bow out of this thread and I hope it dies like it should. I can now see that the occursed "flaming" has started here now, it's sad too, theres a ton of nice people here and one friggin post is making the tone around here unbearable.

Lets see, Starr made a bad post, got flak for it and that "should" have been the end of it. I tried to be a rational person and make some sense out of this car wreck of a thread.

And now all the "goody goodies" are being called out because they didnt step up to the plate and sound off, well more than one do gooder DID sound off, me included and the thread is STILL going down hill and no doubt will be 10 pages by monday.

I have lost ALOT of respect for this forum today, and its sad as hell too because I like some others I'm assuming,are astonished at the outcome of this thread.

Sounds like some of us on here are "more" female than they think if you get my meaning...


DonnaD.

[Amelie]

I did say most were silent, except a few. If you weren't silent then it is not you I talk of.
Amelie

[DonnaD]

Wasnt my point at all really.


Point was that this thread is way off to one side now, sure there was reason to bark at someone, the original poster and a few others.

BUT, its past it now, Im sure Starr realizes that, and life will go on, lets get past it and carry on. There really isn't any reason to beat this dead horse any longer.

I would love to say this is my last post for this thread but I think thats a falisy at best when the new week starts.

If Im comming across as a bad person, I apologize, but this is the first time I have seen activity like this here and it's disheartening at best, of all people we should get along as per the subject matter of this site.

DonnaD...