Keeping it secret....

[MistyCD]

A lot of CD's me included, have to keep our dressing a secret from our SO's. Here are some helpful hints to do so.

1. Wigs should match the color of your hair, in the event that you loose a strand, it will not stand out like a different color would.

2. Makeup, ask for help from the girl working the counter. You will need
something that comes off extremly easy.

3. Storage of outfits. Buy lockable storage boxes, steamer trunks, tool boxes, etc and put combination locks on them. No hidden keys to forget.
Start collecting magazines from your hobby and store a few of them near your boxes. If you SO asks, the boxes are for your hobby stuff.

4. Computer websites.... this is where we sometimes forget, but it's easy to overcome. Most know how to delete the cache files, but there are times you forget.... no need to leave a 'smoking gun'. If you use a Windows Operating system, consider using Windows 2000 and set up several computer accounts on them, with each one having only 'users' or 'power users' privileges and use complex passwords. A complex password has Capital letters, numbers, special characters in it. X29HoSe93 is a much better password than luvstodress !!! You want to make it next to impossible to break it. Next set yourself up with one account that will only be used to connect to your crossdressing sites. Do not use this account for anything else. The reason, if your SO logs on to the computer with their account, and they try to see what files you have in your my documents folder or your cache files, they will get an 'access denied' message, keeping your stuff safe from prying eyes....

5. If you have a wireless network on your pc, make sure you have WEP enabled and set up a codeword for the WPA.

6. Whatever you do, don't keep any incriminating e-mail accounts in Outlook or Outlook express. Use a web based e-mail such as Yahoo or Excite. Outlook is so full of holes that a chimp with a laptop could break into it.

7. Don't store photos of yourself on a CD, consider a zip drive that can be read/write protected, just don't forget your password.

[robin29]

With that to do list im glad i came out to my wife years ago. im not that computer saavy.

[Lily_gg]

Alternatively, find someone who you love and trust enough not to lie to?...

Makes me really sad that you feel you have to hide such a large part of your life from someone you love :(

[Jen_TGCD]

Makes me really sad that you feel you have to hide such a large part of your life from someone you love :(CDing is a part of our lives, it's true. The other parts matter, too, and those may be "larger" or more important than the CDing part. We all have our levels of comfort and priorities.

I lived happily in the closet for most of my life until I got online and saw that others were out and about. It never even occured to me to tell anyone. I had no guilt about it. It was fun when I found the time to dress. I had other priorities that really mattered. I was discreet, true. But sharing my TG side didn't seem like a good idea. All it would have done was complicate my life and possibly disrupted a life that I was already enjoying.

Not everyone has to share this information. Sometimes... it just isn't possible.

If we all came out in our youth, before we entered into long term commitments, there would be no problem. Some repress the urges so well that they are not disruptive at all... but then, after building a career, 15 years into the relationship, two kids, a mortgage... the urge comes back. Then, what do you do?

You, of course, set your priorities. If dressing becomes a bigger priority than your relationships or your career... then you have to deal with that. But, if it is not more important... then you keep it discreet.

I feel Misty's post was an important one and I hope others add to it!

I agree that it is better to be open and honest. For some that is possible... for others... it isn't. This forum has already helped many to come out to their loved ones. Some are still gathering information and trying to get to that point in their lives. Until then... learning ways to be discreet is very helpful. I can't tell you how many guys have gotten busted because of stuff left on the computer or clothing that is discovered by a spouse accidently.

One more thought... It is possible that you love someone, so much, that you can keep some information from them!!!

[robin29]

Im sorry but i dont see how lying to your SO everyday about your other life is loving or honest. it took my wife quite some time to get use to the idea of Robin but she did. And i love it that she knows and is supportive. she once told me that she was glad that i told her when i did and not wait until years into our marriage. that was 7 years ago and weve been married for 8. ...... Dont get me wrong im not saying to run out & let her know before your ready but i personally dont think its a good idea to keep something like this a secret cause she will catch you no matter how careful you are and that could be worse.

[christine55]

I would be willing to give odds that she knows already.
Hugs, Christine

[LilMsShy1]

Hi mistyCD & Girlfriends:

I just read your post aloud 2 my wife & we both got a pretty big kick out of it! Please, Please, don't get me wrong I completely understand UR situation & do realize that it is the case 4 alot of the girls here & harboring those secrets can not be easy!!! However, as my SO said, she & I both would be willing 2 bet that there R alot of SO's out there that would most likely be more than accepting & supportive... I have also read a good number of the horror stories here where N such a confession 2 1's SO has not gone well, is it possible that with the number of registered users here as well as the number of guests here that should every1 "come clean" that the numbers of accepting & supportive SO's would far out number those that do not???

Yes, I do believe that I am among the "Lucky 1's" with my SO, U could be 1 of those 2 & just not know it!

Hugs,
Brianne :)

[Sharon]

I can't imagine not telling my SO. I had told my wife about me within a few weeks of meeting her, because I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Since her death ten years ago, there have been two serious relationships and I told neither one because of doubts about the longivity of the relationships.
But I also know that if I had put off telling my wife, it would have been much more difficult after I had more time and emotion tied up in her. The more time that passes, the harder it is to "come clean." We're so frightened of rejection, particularly from those we are closest to, that it paralyzes us.
It's only a decision that can be made individually. Only Misty knows her wife, not me nor you. Let's give her the benefit of the doubt that she knows best.
Sharon

[rachel_jean]

Kids are just as curious, if not more so.

If they use the same PC, 'covering your tracks' may be even more important.

These days, kids may very well be more computer savy than their parents.

Pics on PCs. Use WinZip or some such utility which will compress and store data file into a single 'ZIP' file. These entries may also be password protected, in order to extract them.

Also, regarding storage of your clothing and such. With Christmas approaching kids may start looking around the house for hidden packages.
A good reason to keep your stuff locked up.


Rachel Jean

[LilMsShy1]

Hi Sharon,

Not sure if U R a speed reader or not, but try re-reading my post, lol I think U may have over looked the 2nd line... :)

Thanx, Hugs,
Brianne

[Lily_gg]

Now, keeping it quiet from the kids I can sympathise and agree with, especially younger children, who happily blurt out anything when at school for example, and could end up getting bullied for it - this would clearly be bad. This is also where being able to tell your SO would be good, then all the 'female' clothes can go in 'mummys' wardrobe, and hopefully the kids wouldn't notice at such a young age... (they'll suss it eventually though - kids are smart) :o

[Sharon]

Hi Sharon,

Not sure if U R a speed reader or not, but try re-reading my post, lol I think U may have over looked the 2nd line... :)

Thanx, Hugs,
Brianne

Brianne,
I'm sorry dear, but I wasn't really responding so much to your post as I was to the entirety of the posts before yours.
Sharon

[Wendy me]

wendy keeps all her things in "his" office in the house , office and gun room are a no enter zone to wife doors allways unlocked it works

[Amelie]

Wow, sounds like Cds have to be like James Bond. I am glad I am not in this situation. It seems to be very stressful living like this.
Amelie