Strange feeling?

[Tina Dixon]

OK I haven't posted any thing on my real life in a long time here, mostly just having fun here and getting in hot water around here but enough on that.

When I joined this site I was just getting into fully dressing and really getting into it, great fun and sharing my pictures and so on.

Reading all the posts here on how every one was coming out and being in fem all I could think of was how do I tell my wife?

Hell at one time here I was wondering if maybe I was heading to be a TG and not CD as much as I was dressing but I now know I'm just a crossdresser.

But what I'm trying to get here is now that my wife has found out about my dressing because she found some pictures of me dressed, instead of moving forward with this I now wish she had never found out and I can do my dressing in secret, hell I hardly even dress any more, hell do I even make sense here?

Tina

[Jamie M]

hi tina ,

don't worry lovey , you're making perfect sense and you're by now means alone in going through this phase in your life. many girls go through this stage and it can be caused by a number of reasons , the most common of which i believe are either

1 - it's no longer just your little secret and so the fun of doing something just for yourself has gone

or

2 - because your wife hasn't fliped her lid over it , you've found a sense of acceptance that was lacking before and whilst before you took every opportunity you could because you never knew when the next time would be , no you know there's no need to dress each chance you get


don't panic about it , things do settle down on your own mind and then comes the really nice phase of just letting it be without having to overly worry yourelf about it .

hugs , julia

[Kate Simmons]

You make perfect sense Hon. Ericka

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Tina-

i wishyou all the best and i agree...try your best(and i say"Try" knowing that its difficult in my experience) to just "be yourself about it"...we are all different and liking to crossdress is part of what makes you special.

you dont have to dress every time you want to, you dont have to "share" , she might hate it in the end, not mind, or think its interesting...its all part of you and your life...(AND IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN!!!!!) thats the part that you need to be careful of because in my marriage, my wife lost her trust in me and although i dont agree with her, theres nothing i've been able to do about it....so be honest with her now 100%

and maybe more importantly be honest with yourself
take care

michele

[Joanna0909a]

Tina,

I agree with everything the other girls have told you. Being a cross dresser is just very complex and special. We are the way we are for what ever reason, only God knows. And we are special. Many of my femine traits my wife actually loves, even though she would not come right out and put it that way. We have to get to a point were we accept that and can become comfortable with it. From what I have seen, this comfort and accpetance often comes with age. At this point in my life I am working (Note I said "am wroking") on that comfort level.

Equally important is the knowledge between you and the wife. The "Big Discussion" is often a killer. In my marriage I have had about 4 of them and for the first 3, I went trotting to conseling to get "cured". Finally one day after trailing her throught the lingerie dept, I initated No. 4 and told her I was really sorry I had a lingerie gene and not a sports gene. That opened the door. At this point she had learned enough about the brain to know that there are some things you just can not change - like having ADD. She has read tons on that. Then when counselor no. 4 told me to go home and tell her there was nothing mentally wrong with me, it was just the way I was, and that not dressing when I need to just contributed to me being generally unhappy. Happiness is important. End result was she finally accepted that I am a CD. She does not support it, but if I leave an earring around, it is not going to be a problem either.

I know you are stuggling, and I hope our support helps. Take care girlfriend.

Joanna

[Tina Dixon]

I know you are struggling, and I hope our support helps. Take care girlfriend.

Joanna

I don't think I'm struggling, but may be the fun is gone out of it?

[Ms. Donna]

It is a strange feeling. Hell, the whole thing is strange to some extent.

It's all a part of working this all out. You did the big pendulum swing where you dressed every chance you got. Now, it's swinging back the other way. The best thing to do is not to fight how you feel - no matter what that may be.

In all likelyhood, you'll feel like getting dolled up again - just maybe not as strongly or as often. It a matter of reaching an equalibrium - a balance of all the feelings - and understanding that this is who you are.

Sit back and relax. What you're feeling is nothing new or unique: it's simply your turn at the moment. :)

Love & Stuff,
Donna

[Wendy me]

ok this is simple or could not be so simple .....you were dressing all the time and got so wrapped up in it and thats easy to do .... trying to find a way to tell your wife ....posting pics... and just haveing a good time.... then she finds out not quite the way you were planning .... a good thing or perhaps not.... but it's out .... then you start thinking now that it's out you will start to move forward with it .... but you stall and don't go to that next step.....now your like wtf is going on ???? you slow down your dressing and sometimes don't feel like even doing it at all... no big deal just let it be what it is and don't look for a hidden meaning in it .....it is what it is .....

[Stephanie Kay]

Tina, honey, I like to think of my CDing like the wind. Sometimes it rages a fully hot hurricaine and I can't get enough! And then it starts to calm down to a breeze and I can take it or leave it. And sometimes (strangely, I think) it simply quiets down to nothing and stops for a period of time, sometimes short and sometimes long. But then it ALWAYS starts up again and I just go with the flow as I make my way through this wonderfully real and amazing life. Pay attention to the feminine/masculine weather forecast and enjoy!

[Dixie Darling]

Tina - Question for you here. You stated that your wife found pictures of you enfemme and so she now knows about your feminine personna. What you DIDN'T tell us was what her reaction was to it and whether or not she came to be tolerant/accepting of ot. You wanna fill us in on the details and what her position is at the CURRENT time on the subject?

Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd

[Tina Dixon]

Tina - Question for you here. You stated that your wife found pictures of you enfemme and so she now knows about your feminine personna. What you DIDN'T tell us was what her reaction was to it and whether or not she came to be tolerant/accepting of ot. You wanna fill us in on the details and what her position is at the CURRENT time on the subject?

Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd

Here is the details:
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=27245

[GG Vanya]

Tina,

From my perspective, once Trudi was confident that I really DO approve, accept, and even appreciate the fact that she crossdresses, it seems a lot of the "urge" subsided. She now knows she can dress any dang time she wants to (schedules permitting of course). There is less sense of urgency. She and I know we (she and I) have the rest of our lives to enjoy this.

I've often wondered about some who seem to be manic about their dressing, if it's the thrill of doing something "forbidden" and getting away with it, rather than the actual crossdressing, that causes them to be more "needy" about dressing. I've seen it happen, that when the wife does find out, and accepts it, it seems to take a lot of the fun out of it for the CDer.

Perhaps those of you who are experiencing the ebb and flow, can now appreciate why GG's don't get all gussied up every day! :) It's a lotta work for just gettin out and about on a Saturday, etc. But it's still nice to know we have the option to do so when we wish to. Hell, I got gussied up last night just cuz we were having a few people over for a nice evening of drinks, "horse doovers",and a wild game of Texas Hold 'Em!

Now if I could just find my "lost shaker of salt!"

[Julie York]

Makes total sense to me. It's difficult enough working out how you feel about it and how to deal with it....then you find the fourm and its a huge blast of self confidence and fun.....and then someone comes along and changes all the rules.

What I suggest is that you put it back in the box and when it wants to come out it will. The reason you feel uncomfortable is.....because you feel uncomfortable and threatened. So the best therapy is to just don't do anything until you feel it wanting to get out of its own accord. Put it away. Let the feelings be genuine and real and not forced like they are now.

Good luck.

[Sandygal]

Hi Tina....The hardest thing to get used to now that your wife knows is. Trusting your own mind. She may be open to your xdressing, she is asking you questions. She may even want to help you. But for years in your own mind, you can't believe that she would ever accept you. So in your alone time, you just sit and think the worse, you can even make yourself sick. This really makes dressing not to fun. Sit back and keep writing to your friends here. It helps, but you no that. You have to accept that your wife knows and she may be ok with it. So try not to think the worse. See what happens and go from there................TaTa Sandy

[Tina Dixon]

Wow a lot good stuff here helping me figure out this dressing thing, add few of you have really opened my eyes here, Vanna you are so right, why do I want to go through the hassle of getting all dressed up every time for nothing, I don't really, I still have my stuff if I ever get that feeling, now I did dig out my stuff yesterday for a bit but it was kind of warm and thought if I get hot I'm going to have to wash my wig and stuff so I just put it away.

I think now that I have dressed I know I can and not look to bad I'll just get dolled up when it hits me and make a big deal over it, now I beginning to see how the people that wear panties and things under there every day cloths feel, they got that idem on and they still have their bit of fem with them.

Wendy I did make the mistake of not pushing the issue when I was discovered, but it just felt so awkward at the time, but my loss I guess.