Fathers

[LauraB]

i went out last night with My genetic Sister and a few friends to celebrate my 26th birthday and my 7th year living as a girl.

We had intended going to a club but we all ended up having dinner and getting completly drunk.

It was a fantastic night out but my sister put me slightly on edge

She told me that my Dad wants me to come to Lunch today that he wants to tell me something that he wants to make up with me.

Historically Dad has not spoken to me since i become a girl and never forgave me for finding me sleeping in my sisters Knickers when i was 10 years old.
I feel trapped, i suppose i must go to lunch and listern to him Yet deep inside i wuld rather not. I can not accept that he could be able to take me back as a daughter and his real intention is to try and make me be what he thinks i should be that is a Man.

Oh well
this is i feel one of those milestones that one has to reach though it is done with loathing I just hope that i will be stonger as a result.


Love
Laura :eek:

[Wen4cd]

Maybe he's come around. It IS Christmas-time, after all. Hopefully he wants to reconcile and make-up.

[Charlotte Elizabeth]

got my fingers crossed it all goes well for you.

[Sandra H]

I believe that each has to make their own mind up when it comes to family members because they know their family far better than anyone. But if he has not forgiven you for sleeping in your sisters panties when you were 10 some 16 years ago and has not spoken to you for the last 7 years I would tell him that we can meet but under my terms.

I would remind him that it is he who took the huff and if he has now come to his senses then that’s great, but we will meet on neutral ground. Or your place and then let him have his say. It would be great if he could accept you and you could become a real family again. So the very best of luck.

But remember, you have got on with your life without him and so this puts you in a much stronger position. Since when things like this happen in a family you wonder what would happen if the other party stopped contact with you, could you cope? Well you now know the answer to this question and it is a BIG yes. So look at it as a no lose situation for you. If he comes around you have gained, if not you have not lost nothing.

Take care, the best of luck and I will be thinking of you. Remember, he blinked first. Let us all know the outcome.

[sky0629]

laura do it i've been there with my dad. i've been in your shoe's and my dad and myself seem to get along good now we just talk about it. now it might or might not work for you but at least you gave it a shot. you only have one dad go for it sky :)

[DonnaT]

Laura, where is the lunch to be held? If in public I doubt he'll cause a scene. Will your sister be there?

My wife had it out with her dad a few years back, although the issues are different, the estrangement was similar. He has finally come to his senses. Hasn't changed a whole lot, but there has been some change.

She put the blame squarely where it belonged and didn't back down, because she was right.

Hopefully your dad will ask for forgiveness. But he still needs to understand you didn't choose this, it chose you. If necessary, blame (if that is the right word) him and his genes, or thank him for passing on the gene that made you who you are.

Just remember, you can always walk if he tries to convert you back.

[LauraB]

Many thanks to you all i feel better about the whole thing now
So a big X to all

Lunch is at 4pm uk time ( in about 1 1/2 hours from now) rather late but my family always combined lunch with dinner on Sundays. It is at my parents house, though my Mum phoned me (first time in years) just a few mins ago to insist that i come to lunch. she seemed very friendly and dare i say willing to make up.

taking the advice from the excellent sage and font of all wisdom
DonnaT
Should it get ugly i will thank him for passing on the gene that made me who i am.
Thanks again Girls

opps better get ready and go to the slaughter


Love

Laura
XXXXXXXXXXXXX

[Tonia]

Laura,;)

You only have one Father Make the best of it I'm sure he will be supportive and loving Best of luck. I hope he truly accepts you for who you really are.

Hugs Tonia :)

[Julie]

Laura, when I saw this post earlier I came to an immeadiate conclusion,rather than reply then I thought on it for a while. I still feel your father has probably swallowed his pride and has accepted you for who you are and not who he wanted you to be.

JJ

[Sharon]

Laura,
I suppose you're into your meeting with your father already, but I think the suggestion that your sister try to be there with you was a good one, just as a supporter, or back-up defender if need be.

[StephanieCD]

I'm hoping for you - let us know how it goes...

[Tristen Cox]

Many thanks to you all i feel better about the whole thing now
So a big X to all

Lunch is at 4pm uk time ( in about 1 1/2 hours from now) rather late but my family always combined lunch with dinner on Sundays. It is at my parents house, though my Mum phoned me (first time in years) just a few mins ago to insist that i come to lunch. she seemed very friendly and dare i say willing to make up.

taking the advice from the excellent sage and font of all wisdom
DonnaT
Should it get ugly i will thank him for passing on the gene that made me who i am.
Thanks again Girls

opps better get ready and go to the slaughter


Love

Laura
XXXXXXXXXXXXX


Laura hope everything is going well. Maybe it's time to put those things in the past comfortably behind you. Takes strength and love on both sides, and I think you have it. My heart is with you. Let us know how it went alright?

*hugs*
Tristen

[racquel]

laura,i'm sure that at this moment you are at your parents listening and forgiving.that's something girls like us are good at.hope all went well,we are all here for you.huggs

[Wendy me]

i had little time for my dad when i was younger now dad bad hart parkersons and a few more things i take care of him going to doctors and testing dads not even half of what he was realy sad i regret not spending more time when we bouth could have enjoyed it more do what is in you hart don't hold on to the past till thats all that is left you can't get back time

[Nikki A.]

Listen, he asked to meet and talk. That is the olive branch, give him a chance to see if he has changed his mind or not. If you don't there may not be a second chance down the road

[Rachel Elizabeth]

:confused:

I have to admit, I wouldn't know what advice to give. Fathers are really funny. Particularly those from very conservative areas; AND those who had problems with their fathers.

My wife told her mother and my mother that I liked to cross dress. Her mother had no problems with it. My mother, when she talked to me after that, said: "that (&(*& side of your father's family....[they were divorced when I was one.] She didn't say anything else about it.

Now, my father's father used to have his own lingerie drawer. He, too, like to wear panties. My dad is still embarassed by this, even though his dad has been dead 30 years. So.....I don't think that my dad would take what I do and how I feel very well.
On the otherhand, my stepmother would probably prefer that I was her stepdaughter instead of her stepson. [But that is a different story.]

Hugs and best wishes.

[IAMDONNA]

I am a father who has been on both sides of this type of thing. I had a rough time with my father, who although it was never stated, I believe distanced himself from me after I was caught as a teen. I kept my desires under wraps but we never seemed to have a normal relationship. We were still able to speak on other subjects but we always seemed to have some kind of barrier there. I hope that the love and understanding that a family should exhibit will help your family heal.
On the other hand I have tried to teach my children that they should love each other and try to understand where the other is and not let their own ideas dictate how others should act. There isn't enough time in this life for bad feelings, they only bring you down.
By now you know the outcome of your situation and I do hope that it is positive for YOU. Be yourself and be proud of it. We here all love you. I hope that your family will give you the freedom of expression and support to be you.

Love and Hugs
Donna, IAM :o

[Krissi]

I bring good wishes as well, and must say that the fact that he is wanting to talk at all is a good sign. My biological father has spoken to me once in the last 25 years and that was just a nod and muffled "good job" at a funeral for my cousin that I gave the eulogy for. Just from my situation I've felt that it has to be the father's job to be the adult and seek a son out if he has issues and wants to talk and make things right, so I am happy for you in that sense. You matter enough to him to make an effort, even if it is an effort to change you (which I agree just tell him off and leave) but at least you'll know that you're not out of site, out of mind like I've been told by my Uncle that I am to my father.

I look forward to hearing how it goes.