being

[veronica7]

After comming out at least to myself, and really going out for the first time(that counts), and having the best couple of nights, and then going out again these past nights, I've already grown weary of the worry and struggle to look, well pretty i guess, knowing how much quantities and skill with make up makes the look, and how it is at odds with connecting to the girl id want to be. But the look is so connected to how we feel, though our feelings are deeper...and if you are going to be true to the girl you feel like, and not worry about about your apperance, but you are dependant on others reactions to you....i know there are noexact answers here...but any insites...please

v.

[Jennaie]

You have to find your own comfort level. There are several members here who dress exactly how they want to and could care less what others think. There are those who strive to "pass" as female and won't walk out the front door if they feel they won't pass.

Since your dressing to fill a need that you have, make your dressing meet those expectations, whatever they are for you. :hugs:

[Brianna Lovely]

Veronica
Although I'm rather new to using makeup, I do go out fully "dressed" on occasion. But, I think I'm a little more flexible then some of the girls posting here.
For one thing, due to my body size/shape, I don't think I'll ever "pass", but I really don't care.
Secondly, whether I go out "dressed", "almost" (skirt, top, nails done, sandals) or "mostly drab" (woman's shorts, nails done), I'm still beautiful.

My prettiness and beauty come from inside, they are who I am, so it really does not matter what I wear, I'm always pretty.

I think that the more you accept yourself for the wonderful person you are, the more your inner beauty shows through.

So, Veronica, just be the beautiful person you are!

[Kate Simmons]

I agree with Jennaie and Brianna. Ericka

[Marla GG]

I've already grown weary of the worry and struggle to look, well pretty i guess, knowing how much quantities and skill with make up makes the look, and how it is at odds with connecting to the girl id want to be.


if you are going to be true to the girl you feel like, and not worry about about your apperance, but you are dependant on others reactions to you...

Hi honey, I'd like to understand your feelings a little better. Are you saying that the way you feel you have to dress for going out is out of synch with the way you feel inside? How do you present yourself in public, and how is that different from "the girl you'd want to be"?

You are not the only CD who sometimes feels a conflict between wanting to look passable and wanting to look young, pretty, and sexy. It depends on where you are going out, but oftentimes dressing to blend in with the GGs around you means wearing more conservative or casual clothes, which may not give you the same thrill as the clothes you would normally wear at home. It's a tricky problem. One solution might be to find yourself a safe and TG friendly club or gathering to go to, where passing is less of an issue and you can dress as you please. Another alternative is to keep working on your look until you find a balance between what you really want to wear, and what you feel comfortable wearing in public. Try different wigs and different makeup, look at clothing catalogs to see what real women are wearing, and try to find a personal style that works for you and makes you feel both pretty AND passable. It might take some experimenting but that's half the fun!

Love, Marla xx

[Karren H]

Well Veronics, the look we aspire to takes a lot of hard work and practice. After all we are playing catchup to the real girls who have been doing it all their lives. And I think that we all have felt badley about our looks when we spend so much time on it and it doesn't work!! I have tons of photos to prove that but then again. No one will ever see those experiments gone wrong. Lol. So don't dispare. Just pickup the mascara wand and give it another go!! And who cares what others think. As long as your happy that you've done your best.

Love Karren

[veronica7]

[QUOTE=Marla GG]Hi honey, I'd like to understand your feelings a little better. Are you saying that the way you feel you have to dress for going out is out of synch with the way you feel inside? How do you present yourself in public, and how is that different from "the girl you'd want to be"?



well what im saying is to look good, not passable, but appropriate and attractive, demands so much make up, I quickly felt like an actor getting ready. Now I know that we have to do the best with what we've got, and it is our choice on how we present ourselves. still, I am looking for a positive reaction from the outside world or i wouldn't choose to go out. and thus I've noticed so far that this reaction is pretty well depends on how good one looks..I am not talking about being hit on, but how even the jaded bartenders in gay bars and lesbians react to the level of "prettiness".

I earlier posted a query on effeminate men, which is the reverse. Behaving and reacting to the world from a woman perspective, while being seen as male I find awkward and not comfortable.

I guess the girl I'd want to be is the person Im trying to be and trying to expose to the real world, and i keeping grappling with the "packaging" of ourselves. The girl id want to be, could not possibly , or would not, wear so much make up and wig in the 100 degree heat (lol), yet if she didn't the world would see a man, unless he started behaving effeminatly, then they might see a gay man...


Anyway I now realise that this is a variation of half the postes on the forum.
please consider this as a discussion, not as a question needing an answer