Going Out for the First Time

[Jessica Brekke]

Ohhhkay... here goes:

Saturday, I plan to go out for the first time, to a Tri-Ess meeting near me. I've gotten to the point where I've learned as much as I can about Julie on my own. If I'm going to be honest with myself on this journey of self-discovery, I know I need to move forward and seek the companionship and wisdom of others like me, as well as seeing how I behave and feel in public, fully dressed.

The thing is, I know everyone there will be supportive, but frankly, I'm terrified. I never thought I would go out of my bedroom dressed, let alone across town. I hope I have the courage to go through with it.

I guess I don't really have a question. I just wanted people to know where I was emotionally, and what I'm going through.

Thanks in advance for any thoughts you might want to share. :happy:

[Emeralddragon]

Well if youre worried figure out what part worries you most and just say to it to get out of your ead and the rest of your worries will disappear along with it.

If you feel its something you need to do then dont let anyone or anything stop you. If youre worried about people saying things to you or about you then remember one simple thing

Sticks and stones may break your bones but smart ass ass comments mean theyre overcompensating ;)

[Zelda Noe]

Hi Julie :wave2:

Hey girl, I admire your courage. I too had my knees knocking when I went out during my past two outings. This was way back in 2004, I have closeted since then.

The first time out in public I was fully made up by my friend who is a TS. We then ended up walking outside on the public sidewalks to her hair salon, where she had her natural hair done by the sweet Asian hairdressers there. During our walk to the salon, I was worried whether or not I walked like a woman, had womanly mannerisms, etc. I was super nervous and my friend had to keep assuring me that it would be alright, to calm down, not be so afraid. Well, with walking those 5 blocks to the hair salon, I had my first real test, we walked by a group of Hi Schoolers, about 5 teenage girls. One of the girls laughed outloud as we walked past them. I did not comment on that laugh, just kept walking. I think I quickly turned around to see if they were looking back at us, they weren't. So we kept on to the hair salon. Afterwards, we walked back to my friends house, and that was the extent of my very first time out in public. My friend and I also took photos of one another that same day, as I don't get madeover very much these days. (I don't know how to do my own makeup well).

The second time we drove to an indoor mall (talk about nervous) and we walked past several indoor shops, past people walking in the mall. I didn't look around at them, (too nervous, wanted to look ladylike). However...there were no comments made outloud publicly, no sneekers, no laughing by anyone. The girl at the ticket booth stated at me for a few moments, I think trying to figure out if I were a guy or girl. I simply smiled at her, took the ticket and went in. My friend and I walked up to the concession to buy popcorn and drinks. There were two absoulutely foxy genetic women at the concession stand. So I just stood there with my friend, too nervous to speak (that would give me away), not once did those girls turn around and look at us. They were too busy in conversation with themselves it seems. We walked upstairs to an indoor theatre, it was fairly dark in there, and we sat down, no one to my notice made a wierd face, or commented to us. So...we simply sat down, enjoyed the movie, and as soon as it was over, we got up (lights still dim inside) and walked out. There was no one in the concession stand area, and no one in the mall area as it was closed. We walked out in the public parking lot area again, I was observed by a genetic woman in the parking lot briefly, I did not get frustrated by it, just went onto the car and we went back to my friends house. That was second outing.

I would love to get fully made over again and go out with a bunch of cd's or both cd's and ts's. That would really stir up the troops huh?

I have been to one Tri-Ess meeting with my friend who is an active member. It was exciting, a Transsexual woman spoke that night, we had dinner served to us by the hotel staff. We held the meeting in a hotel, with catered service, being part of the price. Everyone accepted me and made me feel like I fit in. I got compliments by a few of the other girls, and one girl took photos of me. It was a fun, but rather unique evening. Again, afterwards, we retired to our hotel room where we took photos of each other again.

So I wouldn't worry about the Tri-Ess meeting, you'll find acceptance there by all probably.

Good luck in your evening as Julie, try not to be too self centered in your thoughts, most people treat you kindly, or out of curiousity. Most of the time you will get favorable reactions from genetic woman, thats what makes it so cool to go out in public.

Best to you, let us know how your evening as Julie turns out, share some photos if you would and tell us how the Tri-Ess meeting went.

Warmly, Dandy :happy:

[tekla west]

Go. Have fun. It sounds like you are ready. Tri-Ess is very accepting. And LA? Don't you REALLY have to try to stand out in the Southland? I mean REALLY TRY? As long as you are not going to South Centeral or heading straight into Compton you should be fine. I've done LA a pile of times. I did the Madonna show at Coachella in a short skirt then went and saw Tool. Its LA, no one cares.

[EricaCD]

Enjoy your night out and don't fret. You will likely have a splendid time!

Erica

[Sally24]

I'm there with you Julie. I have gone out on a regular basis over the last year but have never talked in person to any other CDs. This past weekend I went to GNO Boston (GurlsNightOut). Before I went I was so nervous about seeing other people dressed and talking about myself with them. Up until now I had been hiding behind the female self that I presented to the world. We met at a sports bar and then a smaller contingent of the CDs went on to Avalon, a straight club in Boston. They have visited the club before and had no problems. We talked off and on all night and eventually got back to our hotel around 5am. I am so glad I went! Talking to those girls and hearing some of their different stories helped me to see where I am and how lucky I am. I had planned this as a one time trip that was something that I should do. I plan to go back when I am able to for the foreseeable future. It's scary opening up to other people, but there are alot of us out there. You are not alone here on the forum and this is just one group. There are many people out there that want to help others. Give them some of your time and try not to be nervous. You'll be glad you took the time.

Good Luck!

Sally

[sterling12]

Beware Julie!

Once you make that first step it becomes very addictive and you want to go out more and more, and more and more!

This past Saturday we had a meeting in Orlando and four of us decided to try a couple of straight bars across the street from our meeting site. We usually go to a very large Gay/Resort complex in Orlando but this past Saturday, something different.

Couldn't have gone better, we got "read", but then GG's and curious males started coming up and talking to us. We ended up doing outreach and had a great time. Now, we may have been wasting our time talking serious talk to drunks, but we sure had some fun. I certainly can't complain, a 37 year old gorgeous GG, complimented me on my legs and ended up "chatting me up" for about half the evening.

I often feel like Candide, my adventures get better and a little stranger each time. Ah, but I do love it. Hope it works that way for you too!

Go to the Tri-Ess Meeting, once you get out there and start to hang with your Sista's, you will be hooked!


Peace and Love, Joanie