were you a dorky kid? [Archive] - Crossdressers.com - #1 Community & Forum for Crossdressers, Family and Friends

Sharon

11-29-2004, 02:25 AM

No, I wasn't dorky at all. I always pushed myself to be as as manly or macho as I could, especially when I became aware of what became Sharon. I played in sports all my life, right until I blew my knees out playing rugby eight years ago. And truth be told, I've always been a pretty good athlete, not great, but good.
Even though I participated in every athletic event I could find time for, I've battled shyness since childhood, a very low self-esteem a direct result. I'm a bit better now that I'm more conscious of it, but it still rears its ugly head far more often than I would care for.
I can't really attribute my TG to anything but that I was programmed since birth. I was born right handed, with gray eyes, and brown hair. I was also born with the mind of both male and female.
I never stuttered Christine, but I took extra speech classes in grade school because of a tendency to pronounce "s-" as "sh-". What they told me was a lazy tongue. It was always embarrassing when I would have to say the word "sit." :)

flicka

11-29-2004, 04:31 AM

I must confess my ignorance ... but what is dorky? Anyway, yes, I too stuttered as a child. I'll leave it to the more knowledgable girls to link the CD interest with the speech impediment

Julie

11-29-2004, 05:13 AM

The Dictionary says Dork/Dorky means stupid, just because one stuttered as a child (myself included) doesn't mean you are a dork.

Children can be cruel in what they say to other children and I suppose Christine was called this as a child, we girls here know full well she is far from being a dork as she's our photographer in residence. :)

JJ

Sandra H

11-29-2004, 05:18 AM

Hi Christine.

I too do not know what dorky means, so I will not insult you by assuming in case I get it all wrong. I have always been very shy and I have a very low self-esteem. I think this stems back to me being so different from the other boys. I felt frustrated because I thought I should be a girl. I think in a nutshell had I been a girl the things I did would have fitted in and I would have made lots of friends. I am also dyslexic so thank goodness for spell checks But because I was doing the same things as a boy it got me teased, bullied and left me friendless. Even today the only real friend I have ever had in my life in which I could trust not to make fun of me no matter what I did or said, was my wife who died on the 27th April this year. So I am now alone other than my many friends on the site.

I have never strutted, but I have been left speechless many times from your lovely photographs. You always look lovely.

crispy

11-29-2004, 06:16 AM

I must confess my ignorance ... but what is dorky? Anyway, yes, I too stuttered as a child. I'll leave it to the more knowledgable girls to link the CD interest with the speech impediment
excuse me Flicka, but the sun is shining right through your filmy skirt. I can see your legs, and I'm sure some others may have noticed; that is so RUDE! please put a modest slip on right away :mad: !

I don't know what girls are coming to these days. The modern generation ! :rolleyes:

(Oh, sorry, I see you're an honorary Brit from down under. Well, please don't let the side down by being rude again, or we'll have to impose sanctions on your rugby team.)

:D :D

crispy

11-29-2004, 06:20 AM

I understand dorky to mean awkward, not fitting in, of low self esteem, lacking in confidence, not a 'gamesy/sporty type' except for chess, and possibly a bit of a geek by today's standards.

Then the answer is yes, definitely.

Wendy-Anne

11-29-2004, 06:26 AM

Dork is about right,
No good at sport, last to be picked for the team, picked on because you were a bit different? Sorta helps drive you deeper inside does'nt it?
Thank goodness for growing up and coming out of the cocoon!
Thank goodness for girls in see thru skirts who are bold enough to stand against the light.

Thank goodness for girls with (dare I say?) sharp teeth!
sigh

Christiane

11-29-2004, 08:48 AM

Georgette

11-29-2004, 10:02 AM

I was always small for my age, so I worked hard to become a very hard at being a good baseball player , and football, also.
When I graduated from HS there was only one shorter person in my class that was shorted than me and that was a Girl.
I did earn letters for excelling in sports although as, one of the responses said I would rather have been in the cheerleaders out fit than football pads.
I don't think I was dorky , but deffinitely not what people would call the HS jock though.
LOVE Georgette

crispy

11-29-2004, 10:10 AM

Like some of the other girls, I knew I was different but I worked very hard at being a "normal" guy and participated in normal male activities. It was kind of hard wearing a football uniform when I wanted to dress like a cheerleader, though.

Love,
Christiane
Judging by your avatar I can imagine how difficult it must have been for you to appear to be a 'normal' guy.

Hey, you can lead my cheers any time! :) :p

ChristineRenee

11-29-2004, 11:22 AM

Yeah...especially between the ages of 10-15. I was always small and had a late puberty which didn't help much either. Inherited some athletic ability from my dad so I tried to play a lot of sports as much as I could...my size kept me from playing on some of the teams I wanted to play on however. Though I started CDing at age 12, I think it was more of a diversion then as opposed to something I was totally focused on. I had for the most part a typical male childhood aside from being small. I was definitely not a sissy or a mama's boy. I didn't play with girls or dolls, etc. I certainly can't point to anything in my childhood...particularly the environment...that would have been an indicator of why I CD'ed and have evolved as a TG in later years. It had to have come from deep within. I know this much...it is very real...it is always there...it will never go away. (not that I would want it to anyway)

The hardest part over the many years has been trying to come up with some kind of logical, analytical explanation for why I had become this way. It was a lot tougher for those of us who grew up in the '50's and '60's with this because we didn't have the resources available to us, for one thing, and the peer pressure to be "normal" and not different was even greater then. Couple that with the fact that most of us for years actually believed we were the only ones like this. You lived with the continuous fear of discovery...by your parents, maybe your siblings as well, certainly your friends and peer group.

It took a long time for me to come to terms with it...erasing past feelings of inferiority and lack of self-esteem, and looking at this very large part of who I am as a negative. Maybe I have just played a mental game with myself in reversing my whole self-image. I'm sure that advancing age, with some accompaning wisdom thrown in, has helped to right the ship thinking wise, so to speak. Forums such as the one have really given us all a place to go to communicate and share a lot of these deep seated feelings with each other. I like to use the "band of brothers" analogy in that we are all really a "band of sisters" here, and for that I am very grateful. It is a priviledge for me to be a part of this wonderful forum and to be able to communicate with all of you great ladies here on a continuing basis.

Many thanks to Julie M., who does a magnificent job of moderating, and to the administrator for providing all of us with this terrific site. Your time and efforts are truly appreciated.

Love,
Christine Renee

Rachel Elizabeth

11-29-2004, 12:03 PM

No, I cannot say that I was dorkie. Others might, but what did they know.

I was a preppie; one of those people who didn't have to study; one of those people who belonged to every club. On the other hand, girls scared the wits out of me. I never dated a girl that someone else didn't introduce to me in advance.

The secret, however, was that behind the facade was a young teen age girl. It was really neat making everyone think I was male when I was really female [mentally speaking.]
Even then, when I eyed a girl, I wasn't looking at her from the perspective of asking for a date, I was checking out her clothes to see how I might look in them.

ta ta..... :p

Jill

11-29-2004, 12:46 PM

No, I wasn't dorky, I always had a lot of friends and have always been much taller than people my age. I was athletic and didn't have much trouble fitting in most of the time. But I have always had low self esteem. I had three sisters and no brothers but was fairly macho. CDing really only confused me, I have always been terrified of being outed.

Kath

11-29-2004, 12:47 PM

Christine55, very interesting thread.

Several interesting things in my life that seem to parralell the others. I stuttered when I was young. A nun helped me by making me talk into a mirror. Athletics, I was one of those that was always chosen just about last for any team. Size, I was always tall, having just about my full height by the eighth grade. However, I still had a lot of filling out to do. I remember wanting a doll for Christmas when I was young, probably just before grade school. Interesting because I had no sisters or girl playmates to give me the idea.

All these little things seem to put us all in some type of "range" that could possibly be a predictor of our life styles. Interesting that you never think about it until you see someone else that has been down the same path.

Hugs, Kath

babe4life

11-29-2004, 01:39 PM

Intriguing. In parallel to many others here, I was really small for my age (on par with most girls really), not much of an athlete although I did enjoy bowling (cricket). Was considered a nerd / geek as a kid.

Never stuttered, but was incredibly shy and was "the" choice when it came to emotional bullying. Fun no?

Love,
Vicky

Krissi

11-29-2004, 02:10 PM

I wasn't dorky or anything as a kid. I was one of those all around types. I had friends and could hang with just about any of the groups; jocks, preppies, stoners, nerds, you name it. I was a pretty good athlete, a good student, I didn't date much due mostly to taking care of family/sports obligations. I know a lot of girls have said they wanted to be the cheerleaders, I liked their uniforms and thought those would be fun, but I wanted to be a girls basketball player. There I could fit in more with my actual body (at that point 6'2 160). I never have stuttered or anything else like that. Though I think this is a fascinating thread.

GraceUSA

11-29-2004, 02:50 PM

Well, dorky? yes. Stuttering? yes.

Growing up I was labeled "slow". I didn't start talking until I was in my late 4's and have learning and social disablities. Most of my friends don't really know this about me since through lots of training and also by the grace of God I'm able to work around and sometimes with them. The odd thing that still boobles my mind today was that I was never picked on during school. All the way up to highschool my disablities were pretty prevalent but I never was a target. Sure I was always picked last for sports, that I would rather not play anyways, and that did hurt. But no real targeting out and I can't think of any reason why they wouldn't since my family was poor and had no social infulance at all.

Grace

Suzanna_CD

11-29-2004, 03:05 PM

I am still quite shy, and not as good at the "manly" sports as friends. Mostly did/do my own thing, but that seems to be the case with most of us here :) . Never stuttered that I can recall, but I do repeat myself a lot and forget what I've told people hehe.

Carrissa

11-29-2004, 03:16 PM

Yes was somewhat dorky. Felt out of whack .. had crushes on boys although crushes on girls made me think of how it would feel to kiss or hold them ones on boys made me wonder what it would be like to be kissed or held by them

Amelie

11-29-2004, 03:32 PM

I was the one who threw eggs at the "Dorky" kids, you probably remember me. Lol

I wasn't a dorky kid, I was a loner, I didn't want many friends. I didn't join any groups of kids, such as sports, music , chess, whatever. I was my happiest when alone. Basicly, I am the same today. When I go to clubs, I am mostly alone, sort of like a wallflower, but a happy wallflower.
Amelie

Tristen Cox

11-29-2004, 03:47 PM

This is an interesting thread indeed.

I was sort of a nerd, not really by choice but my parents chose the clothes(dorky ones) and I was a good student with excellent grades. And also a bit of a loner, although I did join the choir and school clubs. Put up with my fair share of nerd calling and abuse. Had only a few friends mostly older than me, and was about average size until turning 11 then I hit one of those growth spurts and thankfully stopped just short of six foot. :o
Uhm no stuttering here. Pretty much a balanced group of friends male and female until school was over(although I did tend to spend more time with the girls). Then I got out and had some real fun :D

Love
Tristen

Rachel Ann

11-29-2004, 03:47 PM

Well, I was the "brainiac" or whatever. I was never chosen for sports teams, although I gave it an honest try.

Part of it was situational, living in Europe during those critical ages 11-13 thus continuing to interact mostly with my family.

Part of it was my parents who were on an ego trip to have a prodigy and encouraged me to be one of those insufferable "little adults".

High school was better because there were enough other kids that I actually had a circle of friends. Still got beatings for "not loving Jesus" until I became an Anglican for "protective coloration".

I always just saw beatings as part of a boy's life.

Anyway I am happy to be as socially well-adjusted as I am considering the start I had in life. :) My sister and I are VERY close due to growing up in the same twisted family!

Was considered a nerd / geek as a kid.
I suppose getting people to stop using the g-word and the "other" n-word is a losing battle. For me they always preceded a beating. :p

Brittney

11-29-2004, 03:53 PM

Just the Opposite for me.......... The Older I get, the Dorkier I get.
I was a COOOOOOOOOOOOL Kid, Now,,,, I am getting to be a Dork.

My mom told me when I was a Kid, she said;;;

Don't worry honey, you'll grow into it.... :D

YvonneM

11-29-2004, 03:57 PM

Well I was always an outsider that is certain.
I was bullied badly at school even though I was the biggest kid in class.
I tried fitting in but was always on the edge of things.
My last 4 years of school were made easier by the fact I was dressing most nights, but I was happy to get away.

Yvonne

DonnaT

11-29-2004, 03:59 PM

Tough question.

I didn't think so, but I reckon there were quite a few others that did. Must have been because I was soooo skinny. My dad kept my hair close cropped, couldn't get any shorter without a razor. Couple that with my big blue eyes and long lashes.

I didn't talk much, and was shy. Loved to draw. Loved math, and was in the top 5 in math class in Jr. High (7-9 the grades). We had one math teacher that took the answers from her teachers book, and I was constantly prooving her and the book wrong.

I was pretty good at sports, but was usually picked last. I could never understand that. I was the fastest kid in town of any age group. I guess the team captains picked their friends first. As I got older, 14~16, kids from college would come knocking on my door when ever a football game was being thrown together.

Played left field in baseball. Actually, I played every postion but catcher in my time. Pitched once, what a disaster that was.

I was also a fast swimmer. On our city swim team, I was fastest in breast stroke and back stroke. Worked my way up to being fastest in free style by the time I was 16. However, I found out I wasn't that fast when the state meets came about.

Never lost a fight except to my older brother. We had the same coach, dad.

I had a lot of friends, but not real close friends, i.e., sleep over type of friends. Didn't date, too shy. Fell in love with one girl in 7th grade. We were friends all through Jr. High School. Told her how I felt in 9th grade, but she wanted to simply remain friends. Still loved her though, and never did get over her.

So was I dorky? I don't think so.

flicka

11-29-2004, 04:02 PM

Sorry Crispy, to offend your delicate suseptibilities, but please forgive me; after all it IS Summer down here and 40c in the shade. So why would I want to wear a slip?? Anyway here is a compromise.

Okay, now to this most interesting thread, which is revealing a number of common characteristics. I guess I was always rather shy and was left-handed. This was socially unacceptable during my childhood and the primary school teacher's first duty was to punish me with a leather strap ( Tawse, as it is known in Scotland) until I wrote with my right hand. I believe this contributed to development of a stutter - which took quite some time to overcome. I too was small for my age, but most Scots of that era were, (5' 9" would be classed tall!) I also was a non-talker, outside the immediate family circle, and didn't speak with others until about 5-6 yrs of age; (I later excused this trait by claiming I hadn't found anyone worth talking to!

I didn't shine as a scholar or at sport, but was a tail ender in the football (soccer) team, and, like so many Scots boys I took up boxing - Scots predominate in Fly and Bantam weights. An altered nose has kept me trouble-free ever since!

Start of cross dressing was a spontaneous action about the age of ten, when I found a pair of mother's silk french knickers in the laundry basket; I simply HAD to put them on. I didn't masturbate, just loved the feel of the silk on my body. And still do, nearly 67 years down the track!

For what it's worth I overcame all my childhood obstacles, have enjoyed a full and successful life ... and intend to continue for a while yet! I enjoyed 42 wonderful married years - dressing in my wife's clothes whenever I had the chance, sometimes for days on end when she was away on business trips. She never knew, never suspected, and I certainly never even entertained the idea of telling her. I knew instinctively it would destroy our relationship.

My advice to you who are contemplating telling your spouses is DON'T!

Amelie

11-29-2004, 04:10 PM

Flicka,, The Scots also had a good light-weight-Ken Buchanan(sp)
Amelie

flicka

11-29-2004, 04:19 PM

Amelie! My, you do keep strange hours! When do you ever sleep?

flicka

11-29-2004, 04:21 PM

Miscalculated Amelie, I forgot you are in Mid-Atlantic!
'bye and love

Amelie

11-29-2004, 04:21 PM

I try not to sleep. I have to many nightmares, so I stay awake as much as possible.

Anyway, it is only 4:30 in the afternoon here in the Mid-Atlantic

Amelie

Amelie

11-29-2004, 04:22 PM

I replyed to fast, sorry about that.
Amelie

Charlotte Elizabeth

11-29-2004, 04:31 PM

nah...I wasnt dorky...played sports,rode motorbikes,got drunk on cheap beer. smoked pot,skipped class,had some fights (though only after severe provocation),built dens in the woods with the rest of the gang I hung out with,abused my power when I became a prefect at school...I was pretty average really.

Rachel Ann

11-29-2004, 04:40 PM

This was socially unacceptable during my childhood and the primary school teacher's first duty was to punish me with a leather strap (Tawse, as it is known in Scotland)
Oh yes, I forgot. Attended an English Boy's School in 1956. They taught us Latin and Greek with a cane. Then I understood why they had us wear short pants. :p It didn't make you love it, but you sure did learn it! At least it was a day school so I didn't get buggered in the bargain. :D

Paula A

11-29-2004, 05:16 PM

I was mostly alone, last to get picked for the team etc., I was fortunate to be able to follow on my big brothers coat tails and friends. I kind of hung out with his older cool friends/group but when I was with my own class I was basically alone. After they graduated and I failed a grade I was able to hang with new younger friends that were more my size, I was the thin skrawny kid with the long hair and took ballet lessons because my mum thought it would help with my coordination, (it helped get me into other girls ballet clothes and beat up in school). I wasn't the Geek or the Dork just the little Dweeb who was picked on. Never very athletic in school and I raced cars in high school, if I couldn't beat them in school I could whoop A** in the street or on the track.

Funny thing, I'm now a starting center forward on a local soccer team (football to the rest of you) and my next project has been sitting in the garage for ten years. and they think I shave my legs because it makes for a better tape job on my ankles. LOL

flicka

11-29-2004, 07:52 PM

Definitely NOT, having looked in the Oxord Dictionary (The Authority on the English Language)

Dork ...... slang......1. The penis 2. A stupid or contemptible person.

MiaPink

11-29-2004, 08:13 PM

I was pretty popular and a "big 80's hair band dude." But I led a good social life and still have a few good friends from childhood.

crispy

11-29-2004, 10:58 PM

Sorry Crispy, to offend your delicate suseptibilities, but please forgive me; after all it IS Summer down here and 40c in the shade. So why would I want to wear a slip?? Anyway here is a compromise.

, like so many Scots boys I took up boxing

My advice to you who are contemplating telling your spouses is DON'T!

:eek: you were once a boy? then why are you wearing girly clothes in your avatar?

from a very stupid dorky shark. :o

(thankyou for toning it down - really ladylike now and a credit to all of us)

Sweet Susan

11-30-2004, 12:57 AM

Whatever definition you want to use, I was never a dork. I'm still not a dork. I'll never be a dork. I don't see dorks as stupid, must be "british" dictionary. Now, although I've never been a dork, and know I'll never be a dork, I have been called a dork. Not that that means anything. I did stutter when I was a kid, though not terribly. My father, on the other hand, stutters rather famously.

Marlene4a

11-30-2004, 12:59 AM

I guess I was before the "dork" word.
More like "square"
Even though I played football in high school, and ( yes, had a flattop hairdo, with "fenders") and drove a "hot rod", my '28 ford, with a "flathead" engine ( bet you girls don't know what that is ) , and triple stromberg '97's.
I was always a "big kid".
Always got excellent grades in school, all my life though. Still a mystery to me. "They" always wanted to call me funny names, like "square", or ( no dork or geek then) but "study hall junkie", or things like that, but they knew better. ( What was the funniest in them days, that just before test time, ohhhh, how friendly "they" were.)

This thread took me back a lot of years. Many good memories though.

Thanks Christine.

Sharon

11-30-2004, 01:20 AM

Bonnie-OR

11-30-2004, 01:27 AM

Hi All. Great thread. I can't say I was really a Dork, but I wasn't part of the "in" crowd, and was refered to as one by a few of them. I am 6 years younger than my brother, and we had no close neighbor kids when I was young, so was always a bit of a loner, and very uncomfortable with people I didn't know well. Got my first dirt bike at 12, and spent all my spare time on it, not studying, and my grades showed that. This meant I wasn't welcomed into the higher social groups. I was never very well coordinated when it came to sports, so wasn't in with the jocks. I started drinking and smoking pot about 14, or 15. Got my drivers licence at 16, and then my first job, so that ended most social activities I was able to find. I didn't stutter, but the shyness made me just a non participant in most conversations. I guess I see a lot of common traits. Huggs, Bonnie

Marlene4a

11-30-2004, 01:33 AM

Hi Bonnie: Well, it appears you are a success today. First you are here, and second, you are speaking your mind, and leveling with yourself.
To me, that is success, and freedom.
You will always do well.

Sharon: Yes, doll, I was always the big girl on campus, but still a "square" they called me. But I think it meant, I had my foot in both worlds ( Like I do today)

Love

crispy

11-30-2004, 07:08 AM

Definitely NOT, having looked in the Oxord Dictionary (The Authority on the English Language)

Dork ...... slang......1. The penis 2. A stupid or contemptible person.
any native born Brit and probably most friendly colonial types (Flicka included, of course) already know that a penis is a prick is a stupid person is a dork is a penis. :)

LaurenAnne

11-30-2004, 02:30 PM

I was a dorky kid who stuttered pretty badly when I was a kid. I do know that this contributed to my desire to be a girl. I don't know whether my desire to be a girl contributed to my dorkiness and stuttering. Any thoughts on this. I have heard that many crossdressers stuttered when kids.
Hugs, Christine

While I didn't stutter at all, I guess I was pretty much an outcast throughout grade school. When puberty hit, the ladies found me reasonably attractive, so despite my outcast status; never really had a problem finding a girlfriend. However, I've always had only a small group of very close friends.

flicka

11-30-2004, 02:48 PM

Good one Crispy, and so Ad Infinitum!

Rachel Ann

11-30-2004, 04:52 PM

had a flattop hairdo, with "fenders" and drove a "hot rod"

Marlene, we must be reasonably close in age/era. I had a flattop with a jelly roll and bleached sides. Also white loafers with black lightning bolts.

Jennifer in CO

11-30-2004, 05:24 PM

lets see, I was "normal" for an asthmatic child of the (early) 60's - means I did nothing - sports or anything - my mom always afraid I'd so something that I wouldn't be able to breath afterwards. That lead me to have many girls as friends who loved to play dolls, house, etc as I was 99% of the time indoors. Heck--I even did a few sleep-overs. It wasn't till around 69 or 70 that new drugs became available that allowed me to be "kinda" normal. By the time I was in High school I was 6ft and 100 lbs (can we add uncordinated to dorky?). Swimming was something I could do that helped me develope my lungs after that so the only sport I ever did was swimming. I was the best all-round swimmer in the school. Problem was, UIL (University Inter-scollastic League) the group the school was a part of, didn't allow the drugs I was taking..said they were performance enhancers. Even tho my Dr wrote a letter etc I was never allowed to compete outside the school. Did choir (lettered several times over), did the photo club, did chess club

so was I dorky? Dang straight and proud of it!

Jenn

MonaSmith

11-30-2004, 05:59 PM

I don't think that I was 'dorky' as such, just missunderstood. Socialy awkward (still am sometimes), had few friends (still true), hated school (the only 'girl' in an all boys school) and hated sports (until I got my first BMX). So on reflection.............damn, I was/am a dork. Wow, my second 'coming out' in a week! I was a dork, and I am not ashamed to say so any more. So there.

sky0629

11-30-2004, 08:30 PM

well i high school days were a lot fun. My friends and myself were party animals. my sister's (2) were the cute, smart fun girls that all the boys wanted to hang out with. my mother is also a fine woman. they got the look's and i got the left over. i am still the black sheep of the family even though the party days are over. and i've been dressing for me. i been enjoying it for a long time. now if i can find some friends in the area that want to play that would be really cool. i am a different from the average person but thats' my make and model. i love myself in the past and in the future. and all my new girl friends i'll love you now and into our future.
sky

wilma

11-30-2004, 08:56 PM

I was short and heavy but not fat. I was described as husky. I hated that phrase. I had a few close friends, even a close boy friend. We explored our adolescent sexuality together for a while until I was convinced it was wrong. Overall I had a wonderful childhood and lots of great memories.

Marlene4a

12-01-2004, 12:31 AM

Hi Rachel Ann:

Yes, it sounds like it. I remember the clothing and hair style you describe like it was yesterday.

I used to wear what they called in high school "hiney binders", the ivy league look.
Then at times, I would wear my washed out levi's, with the belt guides clipped off, white socks, and yes loafers. Always had some kind of purple shirt I wore.
At one time, "peggers" were popular. forgot exactly when that was.

I am talking high school, from 1957 to '59. Seems like an eternity ago now. Complete different world you and I came from.

By the way, I love your new Avatar. You look very nice in that pic.

Love

Rachel Ann

12-01-2004, 02:52 AM

Marlene

HS for me was '60-'62 (grades 10-12). But back then if you were in Tennessee you were YEARS behind what was happening on the coasts.

Pegged pants (and pink shirts) were on the way out in middle school ("Junior High" then).

Mostly there wasn't much to do in town other than casual vandalism. So many of the girls belonged to schools that forbade dancing, it was murder to get a dance off the ground!

But I'm sure that you and I have much more to share. Do you chat?

And thank you for the lovely compliment :)

Love

iseiai no okama

12-01-2004, 05:35 AM

Hmm, i don't think of myself as really dorky. i didn't fit in with the big popular crowds, simply because i was often smarter and didn't see any sense in what they were doing. i hung out with the large group of geeks. But when i interacted with people, i mostly did alright, and got along. i was good at martial arts, from fencing to wushu, but bad at other sports. i got into puberty early in elementary school, even before we had education about that. i don't stutter, and am right handed, but left side dominant. Was never really terrified of being thought as girly. In high school though, i fell in love with a girl that sat next to me for two years, yet never managed the nerve to ask her out or anything. i was intimidated by her popular friends.

i always remember wanting to try on women's clothes, because the sensation gave me intense pleasure. i was pretty young when i was able to first do it. It began before puberty. When puberty set in, then dressing was always accompanied by masturbation. But it's not simply that, i also somewhere acquired the desire to dress convincingly like a woman. Never got caught directly in the act, to this day.

To wrap it up, i guess you could call me a geek or nerd, but not a dork. If that means anything...