best way to tell your spouse

[brianda]

i told my wife after someone said about what happen in my childhood my wife was very mad at first after about a mouth later we talk and she accepted and she kind of like now she buys me all kinds of lingeri bras then she surprise me with a pair of falsie all life is great now:love: :hugs:

[Nikki Dee]

Good for you love...so pleased...guess you are one of the lucky ones...enjoy.!!!
Love Nikki. x

[lynn27]

Great new, Good Luck. :hugs:

Maybe I missed something but what happened in your youth? And who told your wife?

I just outed myself completely over this weekend. Things are going very well so far. Hopefully the next time we are shopping we can get Lynn a few things, maybe even some pierced ears...

Lynn

[GabrielleS]

Hi girls....congrats on outing yourselves and it being so positive ;-} Thats great. I'm still waiting for the right time (whenever that may be). I'm kind of paranoid about doing it, so the closet works OK, plus with traveling regularly doesn't hurt! Debbie gets to play more often that way ;-}

[MarinaTwelve200]

I think its a good idea to set the groundwork first. Find out what she really thinks of CDs, etc. before you ever consider letting her know.

What is her reaction to CDs she may see on Television or on the street? Is she amused, Intrigued or hostile? Does she know the difference between CD Transsexual and "Gay"?

You might drop an "interesting fact" when the subject comes up, or when you both see a CD on TV or in the street.==="Do you know that most crossdressers are straight?"----See how she reacts if she wants to know more, do not give too many details--"I read that somewhere" is a good response. If she persists you might make a bet and allow her to do some research.--You might offer your help,

Later when she is more open, you might mention that even YOU have done it a few times (Out of mere curiosity,of course) --but it was a private thing you dont talk about. Dont make a big deal about it. mention such things only in passing, like there is nothing to it.----Dont voulinteer anything beyond this point ---answer questions, but only the ones she asks.

Eventually, she WILL know and hopefully in an educated way, that might be good for BOTH of you.

[NewbieCD]

I am not married yet but i will be on the 22nd of this month with all that is going on with just moving getting married and stuff I did not handle it the best way i could, it was eating me up inside I shoved it down and shoved it down but one day not even a week ago i snapped and told my wife to be that i needed this it went better than expected she has even been helping me wih my makeup and hair she was the one who found this site lol we are still working through it but i do not think this is no where near comfortable for either of us yet!

[CDsWifey GG]

LOL hi, this is NewbieCD's fiancee and he is right he just kind of freaked out on me one day and blurted it all out and after about forty-eight hours of experiencing every emotion in the world I came to realize whatever the love of my life needs to make him feel comfortable expressing ALL of himself with me, I want to do everything in my power to help. The feminine side of him has been a big part of our lives all along in his sensitivity and his warm loving heart I cannot see doing anything to stifle that. I am still very confused and not sure what is to come but I am willing and thankful he was honest with me.

[Sarah Rabbit]

LOL hi, this is NewbieCD's fiancee and he is right he just kind of freaked out on me one day and blurted it all out and after about forty-eight hours of experiencing every emotion in the world I came to realize whatever the love of my life needs to make him feel comfortable expressing ALL of himself with me, I want to do everything in my power to help. The feminine side of him has been a big part of our lives all along in his sensitivity and his warm loving heart I cannot see doing anything to stifle that. I am still very confused and not sure what is to come but I am willing and thankful he was honest with me.

Have you joined the GG's only forum..Perhaps they might help with any questions you have..After all they heve been there too!

Sarah R. :bunny:

[CDsWifey GG]

Yeah thats what I was thinking too, I signed up for it earlier :D

[Calliope]

Congrats Brianda - and Lynn.

It's been a lively weekend, I'll add myself to the ranks.

[Billijo49504]

WOW!!! That's great that she accepts you as a CD. That is wonderful. I started telling my SO before we were married. But anytime is better than later....:hugs: ...BJ

[tekla west]

I'm of the opinion that the best time to tell your spouse is long before she is your spouse. Life is too short for huge mistakes, the little ones are bad enough. There are lots of girls who accept us, some who like us and even a few who love us, its worth the time to seek them out.

[Melora]

Dear brianda;
Please know that I am just now telling my wife EVERYTHING..AND IT is a very LONG process.. let me say this...IT IS. Keep fighting the GOOD FIGHT! Good Luck!

[~Kitty GG~]

I think its a good idea to set the groundwork first. Find out what she really thinks of CDs, etc. before you ever consider letting her know.


From my own experience I don't think this is a good way to go about it. When a woman is asked what she thinks of CDs.. or what she thinks of the character on tv or in the movie.. Its so not the same as asking what she thinks of her partner.

If Dee had hinted around to me this way I would have no doubt said less than encouraging things.

Asking me what I thought back when I had no personal contact and had no affection for those fictional characters would have only hurt our chances of finding happiness together.

When it wasn't a part of my life it looked like a weird or silly thing to do. It looked like a lot of trouble for the CD and for the family. Often the characters we see portrayed on tv are either way comical or they're so altered by cosmetic surgery that they are not at all comparable to our partner.

And so the answers to those questions are quite probably totally different to how she would answer if she had the whole story and was talking about what she thought about her partner CDing. The answers could be very disheartening or even hurtful to her partner.

If you could find a way to expose her to lots of information about CDs.. that seems like a good idea.. but again.. she may make a negative comment based on this being a lifestyle that isn't ever going to affect you or her..

Its tricky to get honest heartfelt answers to less then honest and heartfelt questions.

Love & Hugs
~Kitty~
:star::star::star:

[MarinaTwelve200]

From my own experience I don't think this is a good way to go about it. When a woman is asked what she thinks of CDs.. or what she thinks of the character on tv or in the movie.. Its so not the same as asking what she thinks of her partner.

If Dee had hinted around to me this way I would have no doubt said less than encouraging things.

Asking me what I thought back when I had no personal contact and had no affection for those fictional characters would have only hurt our chances of finding happiness together.

When it wasn't a part of my life it looked like a weird or silly thing to do. It looked like a lot of trouble for the CD and for the family. Often the characters we see portrayed on tv are either way comical or they're so altered by cosmetic surgery that they are not at all comparable to our partner.

And so the answers to those questions are quite probably totally different to how she would answer if she had the whole story and was talking about what she thought about her partner CDing. The answers could be very disheartening or even hurtful to her partner.

If you could find a way to expose her to lots of information about CDs.. that seems like a good idea.. but again.. she may make a negative comment based on this being a lifestyle that isn't ever going to affect you or her..

Its tricky to get honest heartfelt answers to less then honest and heartfelt questions.

Love & Hugs
~Kitty~
:star::star::star:

The idea is to find out IF she is HOSTILE to CDs---and if that hostility is based upon a common confusing CD with TS or gays.

I can see how a wife would be very upset to find out that her husband was Homosexual, or "thought he was a woman in a man's body" (TS), But merely being a part time CD, and usually private at that, shouldnt be all that big a deal.
But in virtually all these cases we read about where the wife IS very upset, it is OBVIOUS rhat she is confusing Gay, TS and CD, as itf they were the same thing----I seldom see, in these accounts that any effort was made to correct the offended spouse's misconceptions---seperation or a divorce is allowed to happen, without any reported attempts to clarify the issue and get her concepts straightened out.
EDUCATION is the KEY here people. Make sure that before you telll who ever you tell KNOWS what a CD IS and IS NOT.