Hardest Thing I've Ever Done.. Told Long Term GF

[Kristen Kelly]

Here is the thread that started the ball rolling http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=31810
This is what followed..........
Monday July 3, Well I did it 4 hrs of emotional talking went much better than I had ever expected. She did not know, knew something was up but NEVER thought it was dressing. Very open to it I had to slow her down she wanted to see pics already. Told her in time let’s talk first get all the questions out in the open first. Did not lie to her told all, she asked about going out, to what extent I dressed, she was surprised how often I do and, what I do. Much to talk about but she open to it to what extent time will tell, but our conversation was not an argument, even though that’s what started the conversation. I waited so long for the right time, I picked what I would have thought was the worst time to tell her. If there is a test of love this was it, opening up to her was the hardest thing I have ever done.


Tuesday July 4, the shock hit her last night she had trouble sleeping, we talked for 2 hrs then she took a nap and talked for 4 more hrs good sign. She is listening and not running.

Wish to thank all for the advice over the last few months, used alot of it. Greatful for the opinions of the GG's.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=31810

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=32255

I didn't want to hear them at first but were the exact questions she had asked, "Why I had not told her sooner"

She is open to conversation and can accept me as I am, we are talking and will see what we can work out.

[Bernice]

Well... It sounds like this is cause for celebration. Judging from the fireworks sounds outside, my neighbors must agree, but I digress... Nothing worth doing is easy. May you reap the benefits of your honesty (and courage) for literally generations to come. :hugs:

[Cherry Lynn]

Way to go Kristen.

[Sally24]

Good luck Kristen! You have done the right thing. Now time will tell how it turns out. My prayers are for you tonight.

Love

Sally

[uknowhoo]

Congratulations to you and your g/f, Kristen. I'm pleased to hear that it has gone so well so far. (not to stomp on your buzz, but...) Do beware of the possibility of a less satisfactory, delayed response. I hope not, just a word of caution. Good luck to both of you. Big hugs, Tammi

[NewbieCD]

Congratulations Kristin I am glad it worked out well for you....

[ColleenCD]

Congrats,

Sounds like a true Independence Day.

Colleen

[Calliope]

If there is a test of love this was it, opening up to her was the hardest thing I have ever done.


So gratifying to hear it went so well. 'Hiding' infers shame (often confused with fear) and telling ... well, telling is communicating. Hope the days ahead stay even and high.

[Joy Carter]

Bless you both and hope for a good out come for you as a couple.

[RachelDenise]

I hope it continues to go well. Keep it up. Good luck.

[Emeralddragon]

You go girl. Sounds like things are gonna be very good for you in the future if thats how she is taking it. Youre in for a hell of a lot of those long conversations but after a few they will turn into fun talks about your day and shopping and stuff. Hope things go well for you.

[lynn27]

Great job Kristen Kelly,

my wife learned about my hobby over the week end much the same way and took it very well. even told her i'd like to grow breasts some day soon. she asked for reading material and wants us to see a gender counselor. :thumbsup:

take things slow and let her determine how fast things progress. and always be honest! 0.02

Lynn

[~Kitty GG~]

Congrats!

:hugs: 's to you and your g/f.

Please try to be as open as things progress so that you two can avoid some of the troubles that can come after the secret is out. It takes lots of communication and honesty for each of you to reach a good balance. So that she doesn't feel lost and you don't go all "kid in a candy store" on her.

Love & Hugs
~Kitty~
:star::star::star:

[Kristen Kelly]

Day four: "I need time to think" Yogi said,"Its not over till its over", well the bugle player is on the sidelines and the only song he knows is tapps. After four days of talking, answering questions and spilling my soul, it was too much to take, tonight she told me I need some time and space, dont call me for a while. I can't say I didn't try, maybe a little to much a little to late. I first said I was supprised at her actions, her true feelings were delayed actions. I did what I had to do, I haven't given up all hope but all the "Congrats!" were premature. I hear the fat lady singing and she has a five o'clock shadow.

[uknowhoo]

At least you still have your sense of humor - loved that last line. :o

I'm so sorry to hear things have taken a turn for the worse. Seeing as you're a Beatles fan (as am I), allow me to referenece another song from side 2 of Let It Be : "The Long and Winding Road." Just as the congratses may have been somewhat premature, so too may be pronouncing the relationship dead. It is very understandable how your g/f might need a bit of time to process the disclosures and events of the past several days. Relationships, like life, are long and winding roads, with bumps and surprises. Just ask your g/f.

If you had been thinking of a lifetime together with her, while painful, disclosing this to her now - relatively sooner than later - really was the best course of action. If she loves you AND is the sort of person who can handle spending her life with a CD, she'll come back. If she does not, well, perhaps it's better really to learn that now than a year or decade down the road.

Good luck, sweetie, and hang in there. We're all pullin' for ya. ;)

xoxo

Tammi

[Dee 1062]

Tell her about this place...may help....
You may want to get her on this site, so she can see and understand things better...but do take it slow:)

[Kristen Kelly]

At least you still have your sense of humor - loved that last line. :o

I'm so sorry to hear things have taken a turn for the worse. Seeing as you're a Beatles fan (as am I), allow me to referenece another song from side 2 of Let It Be : "The Long and Winding Road." Just as the congratses may have been somewhat premature, so too may be pronouncing the relationship dead. It is very understandable how your g/f might need a bit of time to process the disclosures and events of the past several days. Relationships, like life, are long and winding roads, with bumps and surprises. Just ask your g/f.

If you had been thinking of a lifetime together with her, while painful, disclosing this to her now - relatively sooner than later - really was the best course of action. If she loves you AND is the sort of person who can handle spending her life with a CD, she'll come back. If she does not, well, perhaps it's better really to learn that now than a year or decade down the road.

Good luck, sweetie, and hang in there. We're all pullin' for ya. ;)

xoxo

Tammi


Tks,First I havent given up hope, and knew the odds were stacked against me, when you are with a person as long as we were you can guess their actions. I know what I did needed to be done for us to grow, I knew I could Compromise, not stop, that hadnt even come up yet, couldn't accept the fact I dressed and went "OUT" like that. I took a long time to come out, even to myself, I like the daylight, she is afraid of being the fool with THAT fool. Time will Tell...... Yes I know you are all there for me, we are a community! That I am thankful for.

[michelle19845]

i made progress tonight coming out to a friend ,she was guessing more "gay" than "trans" we made progress,but didn't take it too far.i prefer baby steps anyway it makes things reassuring more and gives me time to think.i hope things get better.

[swiss_susan]

Well done, congratulations, and the very best of luck to you both. I did the same thing last year, and have been greatly relieved, and we have had a lot of fun together.

Best wishes and you go Girl!

Susan

[CDsWifey GG]

My fiance didnt tell me he was dressing until just a few weeks ago. I have been thru every emotion in the world since. I have been angry scared confused appalled and even jealous. If you had asked him how I was taking it at about the 36 hour mark you would have thought we were thru. But since then I have thought about it and all the reasons I am with him. They are all tied in to this integral part of who he is. His sensitivity, his understanding. I am now on this journey with him helping him dress, helping him shop, helping him cope. When I have a negative feeling about all this I talk it over with him, he soothes my fears and answers my questions. I am not saying I am totally cool with everything yet but I am willing to try, and maybe she will be too. It may just take some time for her to come to grips with it all. Just be patient and know you did the right thing, for yourself and for her. I hope it does work out and she comes to understand you are still the same person she cared for all along.

[Kristen Kelly]

Update 1 week later......Well we are talking again seems like love wins out, after a very emotional Thursday night we saw each other Sunday afternoon, we made plans to take the kyack out for a few hour trip. We had agreed to try to not talk about it much but the questions started to fly, do you stuff your bra, and with what, what cup size do you wear, what dress size are you. I answered all with a little giggle. She gave me a hug and a kiss that started an afternoon of love making, better than it had been in years. Afterwards we talked she said, she felt like it was a new beginning, like when we first met, I told her I felt the same way too. Told her I had some information for her to read if she would like to and she does. She is learning to understand a side of me that I hid from her, she understands she can not change me, things have even taken on a positive aditude, she even shocked me when she called me Kristen. I have told her If we can get through this we can handle anything.

[Kimberly]

fantastic!!

[Missy Anne]

Hi Kristen,

I am very pleased that things have taken a turn for the better!

We will look forward to eventually having your wife participate in the forum.

Missy Anne

[lynn27]

Great news, I'm happy for you. Remember to let her dictate the pace, don't go overboard and scare her away...

[Missy Anne's GG]

Hi Kristen,

I've been reading your story with great concern and hope. It sounds like things are going in a positive direction. Let's keep our fingers crossed!

Hugs,

Missy Anne's GG

[JenniferScott]

This is a great on-going story. Keep the progress reports coming. I have yet found a way to full disclose the extent and desires of my dressing with my wife. I did sign her up for this board. She just doesn't know it yet

[Di]

I'm so very happy for you....two people sharing all of themselves...you can't get any better than that...well done :hugs:

[Marla GG]

Hi Kristen,

Great thread, great story! I'm very happy for both of you. I have always felt that CDing can enhance a relationship, bring couples closer together, and build intimacy, and it sounds like that is what is happening for you. Way to go! :thumbsup:

Do be aware that some women, especially if they are the caring, nurturing type, tend to bite off more than they can chew initially, in terms of their acceptance level. It makes us so happy to see our partner happy, that we go overboard and lose touch with what we really want and need....for a while anyway. Then eventually we start to feel uncomfortable and resentful and don't understand why. I guess what I am saying is that even when a woman is initially very accepting and encouraging, it is still a good idea to go slow and make sure she is being true to her real feelings before she gets in over her head and has to put the brakes on.

My best wishes to you both, and please keep us updated.

Love, Marla xx

[Kristen Kelly]

Hi Kristen,

Great thread, great story! I'm very happy for both of you. I have always felt that CDing can enhance a relationship, bring couples closer together, and build intimacy, and it sounds like that is what is happening for you. Way to go! :thumbsup:

Do be aware that some women, especially if they are the caring, nurturing type, tend to bite off more than they can chew initially, in terms of their acceptance level. It makes us so happy to see our partner happy, that we go overboard and lose touch with what we really want and need....for a while anyway. Then eventually we start to feel uncomfortable and resentful and don't understand why. I guess what I am saying is that even when a woman is initially very accepting and encouraging, it is still a good idea to go slow and make sure she is being true to her real feelings before she gets in over her head and has to put the brakes on.

My best wishes to you both, and please keep us updated.

Love, Marla xx

Points well taken, I have slowed it down gave her time to comprehend what I have said, I have told her not to let me presure her into something she is not comfortable with, that she is the one setting the pace. As for me, I am listening to her, I try not to have those conversations over the phone, I want to see her face how she reacts, hold her hand be there for her when somethings are a shock or a little tough to understand. I am not trying to act like a kid in a candy store, with my new found freedom, If anything I have been dressing less lately do to time restrants, and the fact that we have been seeing each other more. I have learned alot froms other's posts here, and hope that what I post here other can use to come out to their SO.:hugs:

Note...My GF once used the term GG before I told her, and I read more into it than she knew. To her GG stood for Great Grandma an old and wise woman, Id be careful using the old part here but the GGs here are wise.

[paulaN]

I am so glad that things are going so well for you and your SO. keep talking and keep on gurlen. Can't wait for your post on the makeover she wanted to give you. I hope it is soon and I hope it goes well.

[Bernice]

[FONT="Georgia"]I have told her If we can get through this we cant handle anything.

I never said this (total honesty) would be easy, but I did say it would be worth the effort you've made. I almost laughed outloud when I read your ironic typographical error quoted above. You only can't if you think you can't!

It sounds like the two of you are well on your way to forever together, and that is as it should be. :hugs:

[KrazyKat]

Kristen, awesome!! Thanks for sharing and caring!! It sounds like once you figured out what you needed to be you, you took logical steps to share with someone who sounds like could be your soulmate!! I like the way you have done your homework, that's what this site is for!!
It's great that you are continually reassuring her to let you know if all is well, for real!! Like Marla said, many women do go along for the ride, thinking they are okay, and something happens, and realization sets in. The 2 of you spending extra time communicating and doing new fun things together is a great foundation builder for a solid relationship of total trust and love.
The simple, kind things my partner always did for me for 12 years is what brought me around!
My heart is happy, keep it up!!

:love: Kat

[Shelly Preston]

Great news Kirsten

You seem to be going itn the right direction and at the right speed as well.
Long may it continue.

[Rikkicn]

Thanks so much Kristen, for sharing your story and keeping us up to date. your's is a remarkable story and it's so sweet to see it turning out this way.
It's inspiring and encouraging to so many members of our community.

Thank you again,
Rikki

[Kristen Kelly]

Continued at http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=36222]

[Annesah]

Well... It sounds like this is cause for celebration. Judging from the fireworks sounds outside, my neighbors must agree, but I digress... Nothing worth doing is easy. May you reap the benefits of your honesty (and courage) for literally generations to come. :hugs:

Right on girls!!!!

[Roshanak]

Congratulation :love: sounds like "dreams come true" :heehee: