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Jenna1561
07-05-2006, 07:38 AM
Hi Everyone,

I finally opened up and told my wife about Jenna.

A little background first. I've been married 20 years and have 4 children and like most have dressed since before puberty. I am deeply in love with my wife and would do nothing to jeopardize our relationship. I have always been fearful of my secret getting out and her leaving and of her possible rejection. So, I have kept it a secret. But I vowed to myself to tell her this summer.

But as I age, Jenna is becoming a bigger part of me. She struggles to shine through everyday and over the past 2 years has made quite an emergence and expresses her side of me daily.

I almost always have my toenails polished and wear clear polish on my fingernails. I wear anklets much of the time, a lady's watch, various ladies rings which are unisex in appearance, necklaces, and various bracelets as the mood dictates.

I wear panties exclusively, ladies trouser socks, ladies running shoes and sandals, women's shorts, tanks and casual tees. I also wear women's jeans and pants.

Of course at work, it's toned down quite abit, men's slacks, shirt (over a wide strap cami), and shoes; but still wear the jewelry.

I have let my hair grow out, and though thin is just about down to my shoulders.

So, lots of clues - right? And my wife is no dummy, she's working on her masters degeree. But she has never mentioned or brought any of it up. We had a big family vaction planned for June and I didn't want to bring it up before that. So I settled on July 4th, Independence Day. A day of announcements and pronouncements. A day I would tell her about my crossdressing.

That was yesterday. Two of my children were working at their jobs and the other 2 in their room playing video games. I brought her to our bedroom so we could talk. And soon the talk turned to us and I asked what she would change about me or want me to change about myself. She jokingly answered that she didn't like my current anklet, a string of purple (my favorite color) gemstones with a silver heart clasp. I joked back and reminded her that it was my favorite color.

Then I asked her why she never commented or questioned why I was wearing women's clothing so much of late. She said she didn't think she wanted to know the answer so she never asked. I told her how I liked wearing them because I liked the way they felt, the way they looked and the way they made me feel - happy. She was quiet. Then she asked how long I have liked wearing women's clothes. I told her since I was 10 or 11 and that I regretted never telling her before now and that the worst part was decieving her for 20+ years and the fear of losing her.

There were tears and hugs and I reminded her that I love her and that she was the only one I loved, the only one I love, and that I will always love her. She said she loved me. And I made the following statements about me.

I am not seeking sexual experimentation.
I am not homosexual.
I am not seeking a sex change.
I like dressing in women's clothes.
I don't plan on coming out to the rest of our family or community.
I want to keep it our secret for now.
I don't plan on wearing a skirt to work.

At this point she looked at me, dressed in my white women's, navy tank top, white and purple New Balance Ladies Crosstrainers, silver bracelet, necklace and purple anklet, and she asked "You wear a skirt around here?" I said yes I do. She sat quietly for a moment, and I asked, "What do you think of me wearing a skirt?" She replied "It's just a piece of clothing." But, she was a bit pensive and quiet. Once again I said that I loved her and she said she loved me. I asked her if she had any questions; she said no.

I asked if she wanted some time alone to digest the information and she said she did. So I took the 2 boys who were home to the movies.

When I returned, she was a little reserved but acted as though nothing was different. I think I'll give her some time before we talk again.

She said she'd had suspicions but didn't want to confront them. While I have told her about crossdressing, I haven't told her about fully dressing, wearing make up and a wig, going out enfemme, or that I have chosen a woman's name for myself. I also haven't told her about my photos.

One step at a time. Though she had suspicions, now it's in the open. She's taking it well at the moment, but there's more to tell and I certainly don't want to lose her.

Thanks for your thoughts and concerns, please keep thinking of and praying for me.


Jenna

Nikki Dee
07-05-2006, 08:15 AM
Hi. Jenna...well done love...hope it all continues to go well for you both. I have been where you are now...some years ago...same feelings ...same statements. Be patient love...take things slowly...and keep telling her you love her...show her you love her. That's what I did and I now have a wonderfully supportive wife who thinks that being TG is quite cool.!!!...but it didn't happen overnight.!!!!. Best of luck.
Love Nikki. x

Angie G
07-05-2006, 08:34 AM
One hot day I told my wife it's not fair womem can wear skirt and men can't
when wwe got home she let my wear one of her skirts.
Now I wear skirts blouses heels witch we get well shopping together pantyhose thigh highs and some slips& camis we have talked about it dispelled her fears she had she is ABOUT 90 % OK with it now but don;t want me in bras wigs or makeup but I think that will come in time.
Just keep leting her know love ner.
Angie G.
i

Marla GG
07-05-2006, 08:39 AM
Hi Jenna,

Congratulations! I am so happy to hear that you were finally able to take this step. I remember you posting last winter that you felt sad about not being able to share this part of yourself with your wife and that you were waiting for the right time to open up to her. Independence Day, how appropriate. :happy:

I think that the way you told her, and the amount of information you gave her, was just perfect. The fact that she didn't completely freak out is a good sign, but try not to make any assumptions about how she feels until the dust has settled and she's had time to process it all. The fact the joked about not liking your anklet, and that "she didn't think she wanted to know the answer so she never asked" about your clothing and jewelry, tells me that she may have some issues with your dressing. It sounds like you are prepared to be patient and give her time to come to terms with it, which is good. Your plan to wait a little while before the next talk is probably wise.

One piece of advice: since she is an intelligent, educated woman, chances are she'll do some searching on the internet to find out more about crossdressing. You might want to give her some links to sites that are geared toward wives and SOs and that present crossdressing in a positive light.

I wish all the best for you, your wife and your family. Please let us know how it goes.

Love,
Marla xx

EricaCD
07-05-2006, 09:03 AM
It sounds like you made a terrific first step, and I am delighted to hear that it went as well as can reasonably be expected. I won't repeat Marla's advice, except to restate the mantra "go slow". But based on your initial steps, it sounds as though you have the drill down admirably. Well done!

Erica

Stephenie S
07-05-2006, 09:31 AM
Dear Jenna,

I agree completely with Marla and Erica. I think you did a wonderful job of telling your SO. I think and feel this should be held up as a good example to all who are wondering and questioning how to do this difficult task.
I also agree with Nikki when she cautions to take it slow.
Let this issue settle for a while and do not push even a little bit. But as you do go forward, be sure and let her know how happy it makes you feel to be free of the hiding and deception. And show it! (I mean the happiness)

Lovies,
Stephenie

Jenna1561
07-05-2006, 09:34 AM
Thanks to all of you for your replies of encouragement and advice.

And yes, I'll take it slow. I don't want to hurt her more than I probably already have. So we'll just proceed cautiously.

I don't expect to be dressing in front of her anytime soon, if ever. And I don't know how I'd feel dressed in front of her.

Again, thank you.


Jenna