Question for the CDers from a GG

[SherryLynn GG]

My husband is a CDer, he's on this board as well and ive asked him this question several times but id like to hear other answers.

When he dresses as Paige he always wants to wear short skirts, high heels, & lots of makeup...my question is Why?? I dont dress that way, alot of GGs dont wear short skirts & dresses and full makeup all the time. He says he wants to feel like a woman which I understand.

Even when I look thru pics online of other CDers they are normally in dresses or short skirts, low cut shirts, high heels and lots of makeup. I mean I accept him 100% id just like to see him in some less "hoochie" clothes. And not trying to offend anyone on here, its just my opinion. Id just like to see him in more jeans, longer skirts and things that are I guess more ladylike is what im trying to say. Just curious as to what others have to say :happy: Have a nice day!

[Emeralddragon]

Well some people like to feel sexy and for most men its been bred into them that short skirts high heels and lots of makeup = sexy. All you really need to do is maybe have Paige try on other outfits something more "proper". If she does it often enough she will learn to dress less like a "hoochie" and feel more comfortable in the less trashy attire.

Then again it may just be the only form of clothing she can really feel feminine in. After all everyone feels the need to express themselves in different ways.

For arguements sake lets just say that she doesnt really feel sexy in anything else. maybe just ask her to mix it up for starters. A long skirt with llots of makeup and heels. Flat shoes with the short skirt and makeup. Very little makeup with the short skirt and heels. After those small changes she might be willing to mix it up more and find she likes it better in less "hoochie-esque" things sometimes.

[Pamela girl]

As for me on this subject those are the type of clothes I love to wear, shot skirts high heels, ect
I think is is because that is what turns me on and I love seeing women wear that. Just aas you might not like guys with beer gut and wife beater shirts even though that is the way a lot of males are.
Another reason might be these are things we can't wear anyother time, Jeans and shorts we can wear anyway so where's the fun in that.
Just my 0.02 worth.
He is lucky to have an accepting wife

[heathr1]

I've never completely dressed, let alone loads of make-up.

Aleather mini and lipstick does me perfecly.

[Sharon]

Many of us who actually go out and try to blend in do wear jeans, shorts, and longer skirts.

But there are times, when I plan on staying home, that I will dress in something totally inappropriate for my age and size. Why? Because, once in a while, I just want to look especially feminine.

[Calliope]

I'm up for this question 'cause I do the earthy-crunchy commune look almost always. I would guess most CDers are trying to reverse-compensate. The whole Jane Russell hottie Hollywood look is one reason feminists will not truly embrace TGs and CDs as their sisters - they feel it's more sexism (albeit internalized). Myself, I've been blessed with superlong girl hair and a small frame (size 6, easy) so I've been free to take my dressing where I want - essentially a simplied version of Joni Mitchell (note her huge hands). I don't shave my arms or legs, either; my wife has equally hairy legs. But (!) if I had the wide shoulders and weight associated with 'average malehood,' I'd probably be seeking solace in conspicuously oohlala stuff - which I believe gives CDing a sexual flavor I, personally, can live without (then again, I'm 46 now; when I dressed in my twenties I favored a '****ty' presentation).

[Kimberley]

I think most of us have some little items like this; some more than others. For me it is usually jeans or shorts, tees etc. I just try to dress down to blend in.

[tekla west]

I love the long broomstick skirts, the tights, the big chenille sweaters and that is what I tend to wear. I have short skirts and all that for the club nights, but I don't wear them as a general rule.

I think going out changes a lot of that. You begin to look more closely at what the real GGs are wearing, and try to blend into that. If you are just inside, just you and that mirror, then its nothing but fantasy, and the streetwalker look is what many - if not most - males are taught to think is sexy.

Likewise the fetish parties I work at, well I would not wear a schoolgirl uniform or cheerleader outfit to to to Macy's in (unless it was Halloween). So I think it all depends on where you are going.

As for makeup a lot of CDs overcompensate, there is something to be said for learning some things at 14 rather than 34. I agree that less is more in this regard.

[Billijo49504]

Hi, of all my skirts,I only have 2 that are short, and those are skorts. You know, with shorts built in. I'm out of work this week, so I can dress every day. Whether I try to pass or am dressed in fem drab. Saturday I had on a just below the knee denim skirt and t shirt. Sunday I had on a pair of dress slacks and a nice shirt. Monday it was cool here, so I had jeans and a light hoody. Yesterday the 4th, for the bbq I had on Levi shorts, 2" above the knee and a nice print top. And today I have on cargo shorts and a tshirt. I had on loafers or sneakers except for Sunday. And my wife won't let me out of the house with "Hoochie" makeup. But on the other side, it's fun to ham it up for the camera. And experiment with makeup. When I do, I take a picture so I can see what it looks like.
One thing for sure, we all try to look like women we see. Some are our age and some try to look like ladies 20 or 30 years younger. That's my take on the subject....:hugs: ...BJ

[fionasboots]

Hmmm, well I would certainly say that high-heels are a must for me but even in bloke-mode I actually find it difficult to walk in completely flat shoes, trainers etc (this in no way implies that I find it easy to walk in high heels).

I feel that the heels thing is to do with height/posture - I feel more in proportion and that I'm holding myself right when in heels.

As for the short skirts, yes guilty as charged on that count as well although, in my defence mine aren't *that* short ... erm, well not all of them. :heehee: I think skirts generally look more girlie that trousers/jeans so that's probably why CD'ers pick them more often.

I have dressed in a trouser suit before and I actually found that was just as thrilling as the short skirts; with the heels it was quite an elegant (hopefully) yet toned-down look. It also felt quite nice as well as the material is obviously lighter and, for want of a better word, swishy-er that the usual guy suits.

So maybe you could suggest that to your husband.

As for the makeup - by alot do you mean it needs to be surgically removed later on due to the number of layers? Or it is just so bright and over the top that (s)he looks like they fell into the paint factory?

If he's getting it wrong/over the top then maybe you could help him out - I'd love someone to do a make-over on me, maybe he'd enjoy it as well.

I'm sure you can find clothes/make-up that aren't over-the top but are still very sexy, certainly with your acceptance and help I guess you can both be very happy :D

[Megan72]

I think that most of us are over the top in our choice of dress. It may be because we want so much to come across as feminine, and the way we do this is to dress in the most feminine clothing we can find. I prefer a more casual look to the hyperfem, i just think i look more natural.

[linnea]

I've never gone for the ****ty look or the very "Hollywood" look because as a man, that's not the kind of look that attracts me. I think that lots of CDs wear more conservative, age-appropriate clothes than your SO seems to find appealing. But there are all kinds of men and all kinds of women. I wear what makes me feel feminine and pretty (quite a challenge since I am 6'0" and have a large frame). I think that I would look pretty ridiculous in the kind of clothes you have described, but I might feel differently if, like one of the respondents, I could wear a size 6 and had long "girl" hair.
I think that your SO is very lucky to have your support and understanding.

[JasmineR]

I can't exactly say why we like to wear short skirts, I do myself but not all the time. I like to wear normal everyday wear like women as well. I wear flip flops, jeans, shorts, capri's whatever. As for make up, I would prefer not to wear a lot but I have to in order to try and hide the 5 o'clock shadow... Which doesn't always work out for me.

[Dixie Darling]

It may not have anything to do with what he sees you wearing, but rather what seems feminine to him and what he’s attracted to. This varies from one CD to another and what one views as being very feminine may not be what another sees that way. I’m the type who prefers what I only know how to describe as the elegant, classy, or glamorous look since that’s what represents a LADY at her most feminine. Longer DRESSES, longer skirt/top combinations, coordinated makeup, jewelry, shoes, hair style, etc, emulate femininity more to my personal tastes. Your husband seems to see more femininity in the styles you’ve described as his preferences so that’s probably the reason he has an affinity for those kinds of clothes. There’s nothing wrong with his choices if those are his preferences, but he might also find that he would come to enjoy a more lady-like look if he would give it a few tries.

As far as the makeup is concerned, it takes more for most males to begin to achieve a more femme look. Beard cover is the main reason and the sometimes ‘harsh’ lines of the male facial features have to be more contoured and ‘toned down’ to begin to look more feminine. However, this is an area where, as you’ve already discovered, it’s often overdone. This is also a good place where some experienced GG “mentoring” is a good idea.

Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd

[ashlee chiffon]

well, for me, maybe its a midlife crisis kind of thingie...wanting to Still look sexy as a girl, wearing the clothes that look sexy to me...and maybe That's what it's all about...there are very few gals about that want to dress sexy in skirts and dresses, anymore...just want to be comfortible and casual...and that's ok, but when a cd dresses, they can be in drab and be comfortible and casual...but when wanting to be fem...then its usually skirts, heels, makeup, hose, and wig...transforming them from a guy into a gal...and wanting to show off their hot legs!

may be hard to understand for a GG, but it is...what it is...luv...

[Emma England]

Crossdressers are normally attracted to sexy women.

When a beautiful young lady wears makeup, with a short skirt and long smooth legs, they get a lot of sexual attention.

Some cds want to imitate that same look.

A long skirt is feminine, but a short skirt is feminine and sexy.

[SherryLynn GG]

Thanks for all the input :) While I agree with alot of things said here, one thing I dont agree with is that men are attracted to sexy women and thats why they wear short skirts...well I find myself very sexy and I dont have to wear a short skirt to show that, my husband also tells me im sexy and I can be wearing jeans and a shirt so its not the clothes that make a woman sexy its the woman :D

[Marla S]

... my husband also tells me im sexy and I can be wearing jeans and a shirt so its not the clothes that make a woman sexy its the woman :D

That's true, but imagine how feminine your husband would look in jeans, t-shirt, and without makeup ? ;)
Heels, short skirt, makeup, stockings (best in black red or pink) are the "ultimate" feminine clothes and therefor are the highest contrast to the male self. With these items it is kind of "most easy" to look feminine and most of us started somewhere there. "Dressing down" needs practice as the less feminine or eye-catching the clothes look the harder it gets to look feminine.

Just my 0.02

[Sarah Rabbit]

IMHO..GG's can dress and make up whenever they want and have been allowed to do this since they were old enough, thereby they do not need to all of the time, where as we CD's were not allowed to. We were expected to be 'Boys'. Now we create our own destiny, we can dress to our hearts content and when we do, we go the 'Whole Nine Yards':D

Sarah R. :bunny:

[sparks]

Since I rarely dress fully all I can say is that men have their own version of what feminine is! A guys perspective has been scewed for along time. Just look at the pin-up art of the 30's, 40's, 50's. Always risque. Practice makes perfect and if as you say you fully support his dressing take him shopping. Show him how dressing down can be just as feminine as dressing up.
For me since dressing time is little I simply go for something hurried but ultra femme. I get my dose and back to drab. Maybe this is what your SO used to be used too as well. Now she can slow things down abit and get used to the fantastic sensations of a full length skirt.

[LucyLoo]

For me, I was bottled up not being able to dress in feminine clothes that when I finally came out and went for it I wanted to be very very feminine. So things like short pleated skirts, ball dresses, etc.. were all things I wanted to wear.

These days (although I still love those outfits) it tends to be just nail varnish, jeans and a top. For me it was the bottling up and release which made me so keen on being the extreme feminine image (tarty skirts / tops etc).

[Eugenie]

Hi Sherry,

There is a great variety for X-dressers choice of clothes. Indeed many like very short skirts or dresses but probably as many like to wear longer skirts and dresses. Some also like to wear pants...

There are also various motivations. The will to pass as a woman in the street entails more casual style of dressing up. Some like high class dresses, just for the look, a style that women wouldn't normally wear in the streets. But some like to dress very provocatively "sexy". Note that I agree with you that it isn't necessary to wear very short skirts or dresses to be very sexy... But this may be linked to the stereotype of the "sexy girl" which is still prevalent in movies and in various commercials. There may be the appeal of the "forbidden thing" in the choice of extremely short skirts and provocatively high heels shoes.

As far as I am concerned, I tend to be on the longer side with regard to my choice of clothes. I belong to the first category, I want to look as much as a real woman as I manage to achieve. I try to adapt my clothes to the circumstances. I think that age also plays some role in the choice of clothes: I'm almost 60 and if a few women can wear miniskirts at 60, that isn't the majority :rolleyes:

I admit that in rare occasions I feel like dressing sexy, just like a real woman does from time to time to seduce her lover (When she knows that's what he likes). I only do that when I feel "horny" and want to use my image in the mirror as a turn on.

A X-dresser friend was saying that when we do that it is still a male's point of view that is watching the person in the mirror. I think there is some truth in that observation.

One observation though, my wife was less annoyed when my x-dressing was much more of a sexual fantasy a few years ago than now when it is a desire to be as "femme" as possible, just for the pleasure of the feeling and not for sexual reasons.

What's your feeling in that perspective? That may be a point to discuss with your husband...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Melinda G]

I can only speak for myself. However, I wear high heels, short skirts or dresses, stockings, sexy lingerie, and makeup, because most women don't anymore. If I want to see a sexy woman, it has become pretty much of a do-it-yourself project. Too many women have the idea that they have all the right parts, and that's all that is necessary.
Looking around, I see most women wearing clunky, macho looking mens shoes, pants, tailored jackets and pantsuits. For years, women have dressed for other women, but in recent years, it has just gotten worse. Women just wear what some gay designer tells them is the current rage, and don't seem to care what men think anymore.
I have been single for 25 years now, and always have several women after me. But they really don't have a clue. Most are into the "frump" look. I keep asking myself, "Don't they know how they look"? And since being involved with them, would be a constant source of frustration, I just don't bother.
When I dress, I look better then most of the women I know, and I have better legs, than all of them. Maybe if I find one who knows how to dress, and looks as good as I do, I'll go for it. In the meantime, I'm satisfied with what I do.

[sierracd6]

Personally, it makes me feel sexier when I "hooch" it up. I feel like a bad girl I guess.............And from not getting kicked out of here, I will just leave it at that

[Zelda Noe]

Hi Sherry :wave2:

First off, thanks for your post. I appreciate alot (not all) of the GG's input on this forum. It helps keep a "balance" with the cders points of view.

Honestly, we guys don't really have a clue as to "real" femininity. Now before the others members here start clubbing me over the head for that statement, notice I said "real" femininity. We guys are wired different internally. We attempt I believe in our own particular ways to "emulate" what we perceive as femininity or what we perceive as sexy. I personally believe sexyness comes from within, from the inner part of a woman, the way our Creator made woman uniquely. Why? To be attractive, to draw a future life made, a companion.

That being said, I can consider "sexyness" as a woman with long beautiful hair, striking or even common facial features. Nice, gorgeous outfits, such as a woman would wear to dress up. Even beautiful feet, with attractive shoes on. Lovely looking hands with lovely nails. I saw a woman in a store one day, she must have been in her late to mid 40's. She had long brunette hair, beautifully kept and combed, straight down to the middle of her back. She had on casual clothes, but man did she catch my eye. The blessed hourglass figure that us guys were not built with, nice looking blue jeans on, a very femme top on and nice looking western boots. I couldn't stop staring at her, of course I tried to be as unoticed in doing that as I could. She was not a 20 year, not a 30 year old, but she was... very...b e a u t i f u l.

To me, at age 56, I not only am considered a Senior cder, but I feel to dress in the style of clothes your husband does is to not dress "age appropriately" forthe most part. Guess one should consider that to be true the older you get. But that us not a set rule I tend to go for the casual when I dress down, and the nice evening dress, formal dress desire if I were to really "dress to the nines". My legs are my weakest point in my look, thankfully nice stockings can cover those imperfections up. Do I like mini skirts? I'd be a liar if I said I didn't...depending on the body they are on, they can be incredible sexy, to downright ridiculous looking.

So quite often when I dress, (as in my forum photos here), I go for a more casual style. I try for the most part to be age appropriate when I dress, to fit in. However, I do like to "experiment" with a perceived sexy look. With my makeup face on I have been told I look 20 years younger than my current male age. I feel younger, behave younger as Dandy, and seek, to emulate feminine manners the best I know how. No female voice though, but alot of cders don't have that skill either. To me it still is a learning experience every time I dress.

Yes, I get excited when I see a woman's body parts, but I think the idea of being overly masculine all the time, with a certain "set rule" of what masculinity is, is often boring to us guys. So at times we may compensate by overdressing, underdressing, wrong combinations of dress, lousy makeup jobs (not everyone, ok!).

But again, that point of view is not the norm. Age is a huge factor, passability is a huge factor. Theese can be factors as to why "Paige" desires one look above another"

Imagine what the Female to Male forum members are really facing as for their whole lives, they were raised female, with the cultural upbringings, ethiquettes, mannerisms, the facial look, the mode of dress. They too are on a learning curve to "grasp" what they individually perceive and believe is "masculinity". The being from the other side of the spectrum, I can't imagine how hard that must be at time for them, to me being "masculine" is...well....no big thing...its me...just natural...so getting us to understand the "female look" when we dress is as unique as the FTM's attempts to emulate masculinity, being natural female. Works both ways.


I think with your patience and personal help "Paige" will enjoy the taste of both sides of dressing, the sexy and the modest. You, Sherry, can be a big factor in that for Paige. Lots of us cders need tutuoring skills, plain and simple.

Okay, I'm getting to long winded here, hope this helps from a differrent angle.

Cordially, Dandy

[Phoebe Reece]

Sherry Lynn, many crossdressers are very much like young teenage girls. They are testing their new freedom to dress and experimenting with different looks. Many think that sexy clothes and loads of makeup will turn them into their fantasy woman. While some never move out of that stage, many do eventually learn that it can be very satisfying to be a little less "over the top" in appearance - especially if they want to present themselves dressed in public. If your husband is dressing on a regular basis, I suspect that with your guidance he will likely tone down his appearance over time. Like with most teenagers, some changes will occur over time.

[Stephenie S]

I have read all the posts so far on this topic. It is clear that there are many diverse opinions on this subject.
I would like to say that personally I do not want the sexy, "trampy" look for myself for two reasons. One, I am much too old for that sort of stuff, and two, I want to blend in and not stand out from the crowd. Most women do not dress like that. I really don't know any who do, but remember I do not go "clubbing"

One reason for this that I did not see mentioned, and that I feel is germaine to this discussion is that some of us are just starting out with the dressing up stuff and that trashy and trampy thing seems to be something that GGs go through at the begining. I watched two daughters grow up and believe me, more than half the time as teenagers their mother and I spent telling them that they would not be leaving the house dressed like that. Both girls dress in an adult and conservative manner now that they are grown up, but as teenagers? WOW. You would not believe some of the outfits that we had to veto. Well, maybe you would.

So, I think maybe it takes some time to get past the outlandish clothes that really don't flatter and arive at a more adult and realistic "look".

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Staci]

For me, I like to dress in mini skirts, high heels and other items more often than not. I don't dress up like a girl very often so when I do I try to dress in something that makes me feel like a very sexy girl. (although I know I don't look like one.) My wife has begun to buy me more appropriate female clothing. I have a beautiful long light blue tiered skirt and a matching top that she got me for my birthday. I feel very special when I wear it because it came from her and I know she is trying to understand. I also have a prom dress she helped measure me for. I think this is just one of those other times that I feel is very special for a girl and I wanted to feel what it was like to wear a beautiful lilac satiny prom dress. So -- if you want him to wear more appropriate items feel free to suggest it and take him/her shopping. I know it will be a fun experience for both of you.

[Kristen Kelly]

Many of us who actually go out and try to blend in do wear jeans, shorts, and longer skirts.

But there are times, when I plan on staying home, that I will dress in something totally inappropriate for my age and size. Why? Because, once in a while, I just want to look especially feminine.

Same here more often its a pair of jeans and nice top and sneakers or flats. When I go out to the clubs its short skirts and dresses "something off the Juniors rack"

[Dee 1062]

First Hon if you got it show it !
Now for me I have great legs, like to show them off...I love the Att. I get from men...feels so good...I do dress longer shirts and flat bottom shoes if I am going to the store or maybe even Jeans but a night out on the town...got to look HOTTTTTT., Look my men love it and my women don't complain:)

[tvgirl4fun]

I've heard that while a person may start CDing in "mid-life", they still have to go through their "adolesence". Consequently, they start out being a teenager and wearing the clothes and styles they do. Jaie

[Dee 1062]

Sherry Lynn, many crossdressers are very much like young teenage girls. They are testing their new freedom to dress and experimenting with different looks. Many think that sexy clothes and loads of makeup will turn them into their fantasy woman. While some never move out of that stage, many do eventually learn that it can be very satisfying to be a little less "over the top" in appearance - especially if they want to present themselves dressed in public. If your husband is dressing on a regular basis, I suspect that with your guidance he will likely tone down his appearance over time. Like with most teenagers, some changes will occur over time.
Speak for yourself because like I said....My men loves it and my women don't complain:

[Stephenie S]

Dear Sherry,

I just read Phoebe's post above and that is just what I was trying to say. She just said it more clearly.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Kaitlyn Michele]

hi sherry..

i think we are all different and you should continue to communicate with him..

i think alot of times we "overindulge" and other times we repress it out of fear...since you are supportiive of him then you can talk to him about it and he should appreciate your comments as someone who knows

seems only fair to me

by the way i just love that you said "Hoochie" !!!! what a great word

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Everyone is different, but yes a lot of CD do seem to be acting out a fantasy idea of what "being a woman" is like. In your husband's case, I'd be willing to bet that he doesn't feel attractive as man -- and may well be one of those CDs who put the "drab" in being en drab. So being a hotchie-mama gives him chance to sexy and desireable -- and a chance to "own" some of the power he may feel women's attractiveness has over him. While being subject to the beauty myth (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060512180/sr=8-1/qid=1152163838/ref=pd_bbs_1/103-0610899-4119808?ie=UTF8) sucks, I think women can be reluctant to acknowledge (even to themselves) the power that beauty can wield.

Transman Raven Kaldera had some good thoughts (http://www.cauldronfarm.com/writing/transpersonal7.html) on this:


Sometimes when you drag out an opposite-sex persona - so to speak - you find that it's been stashed in the same mental closet as all the things that you don't like about the opposite gender, and they've become stuck all over it like barnacles, or growths. They won't flake off until that persona has been exposed to the air for a while, and gotten a chance to rub up against real people and real circumstances. This may mean plowing through years of humiliating stereotypical behavior until that part of you evolves and grows into a fuller human being. I've seen it again and again, especially in people who are just starting to cross-dress or whose CD persona only gets out once in a while. Stereotypes abound: the trashy *****, the catty and manipulative upper-class bitch, the irresponsible little girl, the supported housewife who never has to work or deal with the outside world, the delicately passive - and utterly useless - ornament, and, of course, Mom. In the bedroom, the sexual stereotypes can be even more cartoon-like, from Sweet Gwen the Victim to the Dragon Lady, but is most commonly the passive, receptive do-me-queen that men don't usually get to be. Sometimes their personas are clearly signposts pointing to the issues that they are bravely working through. Yes, it's brave. You try it and see for yourself.

Women are often horrified and offended when men deliberately imitate women, whether it's a female impersonator in a drag performance or a fetishistic cross-dresser in ratty nylons and a bad wig. They feel that these performances of female gender are a bad caricature, and don't actually resemble the real experience of women. While it's true that a performance, or even a persona, is by definition shallower than a person, there's still a grain (or a sackful) of truth to these performances. For every one of these stereotypes being performed by men, I've met the same ones being performed by women, and in larger numbers. I've met the biologically female version of every one of these caricatures, and I'm sure that the women who complain about the guys in dresses probably have, too.

Whether these women performed gender in this way because they were trying to have a particular effect on men, or whether it was just part of who they are, is debatable and irrelevant to my point. I simply wonder whether part of the reason women are so offended is because it hits home on some level. She may not be a trashy ho, but if all women are supposed to be sisters, then she has to share sisterhood with one somewhere. Men, being outsiders to the female experience, can see the more negative sides of women in general, just as women can do with men. Sometimes it's these questionable, worrisome parts of femaleness that become absorbed close to home and must be dealt with first, just as FTM TVs sometimes start out with personas that are big mean abusive guys, or sissy fags that get beat up. If women are actually going to ever accept each other as sisters, even the sisters who don't act in acceptably 'enlightened' ways, than they need to stop reacting to men's negative female performances as knee-jerk insults. Instead, it would be more educational for them to probe into whether their reaction would be more or less comfortable with a biowoman who acted the exact same way - and, yes, there's always going to be at least one out there, and you probably won't be able to change her by explaining to her how wrong she is - and explore their discomfort with that way of being female in the world.

The only quibble I have with Kaldera is that it's not necessarily "things you don't like" about the opposite gender, as much as things you're ambivalent about or envious of, which are both much more complex emotions. (And of course, there's a big difference between women who adopt these stereotypes in response to difficulties in their life, and CDs who do it for other reasons.)

Another factor is that "performing" a stereotype is easier in way -- in that stereotypes are inherently simplified versions of complex realities. And speaking of complex realities, since the vast majorities dress in private they've never had parents to tell them "you're not going out dressed like that" nor fears of being labelled the school **** that cause even the most wild teenage girls to tone things done.

Of course it's one thing to consciously performing "femininity" -- similar to how some femme lesbians are consciously girly-girls -- and another to mistake that performance for the realities of being a woman. I may feel I've got a side to myself that society deems "feminine," being out in public I've had some of the experiences that GWs have, but in no way do I know what "feeling like a woman" is like -- I simply wasn't raised as one.

[Jean GG]

Please take a look at a threat I started a few months ago with the heading "WHAT DOES DRESSING SLEAZY HAVE TO DO WITH BEING A WOMAN?" I am relatively new on ther forum and don't know how to link that thread here but you can simply click on my avatar to see my threads.

Interesting to see that other GG's have the same questions...:) jean

[Lisa Golightly]

My photos are studio photos and have studio themes... it's just work. In the every day world I normally have my hair in a ponytail, makeup consists of only moisturiiser and mascara, and as for clothes tops, denim skirts, jeans, or a dress.

Most people when they arrange to meet me tend to think I'll arrive all glamorous... when they see this average person they tend to be disapointed, some even downright hostile. GG admirers are the worst... one was downright rude... I thought that rather ironic... poacher turned gamekeeper kind of thing.

I guess for many CD's where time is limited they want the creme de la creme of experience. The old campaigners, like myself, tend to just do what women do... Make a huge effort and feel totally hacked off by the lukewarm response and decide not to bother for another 6 months ;)

[cute_cd_paige]

Hi sweetie (for all of u that dont know sherrylynn is my wife lol) i just wanted to reply to your post i guess my point of view is there are even GG's that are girly girls so to speak , some fuss over there hair , nails and make up and wear more reveling clothing alot i guess im just one of those girls lol love ya bunches :p

[Calliope]

Most [GGs] are into the "frump" look. I keep asking myself, "Don't they know how they look"?

It stands to be remembered that, nowadays, it's much more common for women to be employed in real jobs.

My missus is a network engineer for Time/Warner (in Portland ME; almost everyone at her worksite is male) and she dresses like Fred Flintstone - to fit in and to get her work done. Long dresses are fun as long as you have a hand free to hitch them up a bit going up the stairs but that's a hassle if both hands are full of work stuff. As contradictory as it may sound, working women skip shorter dresses because they are (still) uncomfortable going around with hairy legs but work demands prevent having the time to shave them all the time. Finally, working women dress 'frump' also to discourage advances and sexist remarks while working.

My missus had one final dress - and she gave it to me, saying, 'I can't wear this anywhere but if you want to cook dinner or go grocery shopping in it, be my guest.' As much as I love it, I don't wear it much - it's too Saturday Night.

[Kate Simmons]

Hi Sherry, I dunno, I never wear "hoochie' stuff unless I'm dressed for Halloween or something. I wear sensible clothes, my makeup takes a half hour tops and wear "shake and go" wigs. I don't take a lot of time on my appearance as I'm not out to impress anyone but myself. My main goal is to socialize with my friends who accept me as Ericka and have fun dancing. I must be weird or something but I'm just myself and don't really care about "passing" or what others think. Works for me anyway. Ericka

[Teresa Amina]

When I first found this site I found the prevalence of the Trashy look very surprising. Guess I missed that teenage girl phase! I really think it goes back to why one CDs. If it's done for the thrill, the turn-on, then it really isn't a surprise that the ****ty look would be what you're after. But if it's more of a TG thing what one is after is that "real life" look, kinda like this................

[Calliope]

... that "real life" look, kinda like this................

Yes, you fit in with your surroundings (presumably where you live).

[Lawren]

Hi Sherry

That's a bit difficult to answer but.....

For me. I do not generally wear much in the way of "sexy" lady's clothing. I think I have grown out of that part of my dressing. I've never really had many short skirts/dresses etc. but what I have had I would wear to make myself look and feel sexy. As a man, I have never been able to achieve that feeling. I just thought of myself as a nondescript unperson. Of course, the sexual turn-on from that type of clothing was unbelievable and that in itself is virtually irresistable. Now, I'm 46 years old and tend to "dress my age". My shortest skirts are just above my knees, I cannot walk in heels over 3" and just don't have the "figure" to get away with wearing sexy things any more.

[stacie]

As said by the other ladies most CD,s go through stages of crossdressing, I also have gone through dressing in short skirts and lots of make-up and have my ****ty outfit to wear. Now I try to dress like most GG,s and dress for my age mainly because, I go out in public and dont want to bring attention to myself. In time she might change dressing styles and go through the next stage or maybe not. But at any age, I think we all dress in the teenage stage.

[bgirl]

Even in the closet I would wear short skirts and feel sexy in them but would never dream of wearing them in my public closet. In my male aspect there are things that I would wear at home that I would never wear outside.

I have another answer that I feel is true for me. As bgirl I have never had the opportunity to develop at the same pace as I've aged. As a girl I still want all the sexy things Ive wanted all my life and never got. Now I am torn between acting my age or my hearts desire. My hearts desire wins often. If my mirror can tell me I'm a beautiful woman, it can also tell me I have beautiful YOUNG legs that can show a minnie properly. ( I love that mirror!) The makeup is something I cant get right and when I am done it looks like I trowled it on. If I was better at it I would wear less. bgirl

[Tracy Lynn]

The more I dress around my wife the more comfortable I am. Now days I hardly wear makeup except a little foundation. I shave and wear a wig. Comfy around the house clothes and PJs. About the only time I dress flashy is if we decide to venture out of the house which is rare. I would say I dress like your average girl.

[Sophia Rearen]

When he dresses as Paige he always wants to wear short skirts, high heels, & lots of makeup...my question is Why?? I dont dress that way, alot of GGs dont wear short skirts & dresses and full makeup all the time. He says he wants to feel like a woman which I understand.

Even when I look thru pics online of other CDers they are normally in dresses or short skirts, low cut shirts, high heels and lots of makeup. I mean I accept him 100% id just like to see him in some less "hoochie" clothes. And not trying to offend anyone on here, its just my opinion. Id just like to see him in more jeans, longer skirts and things that are I guess more ladylike is what im trying to say. Just curious as to what others have to say :happy: Have a nice day!

Lots of makeup? Judging by Paige's avatar, I'd say that's a typical amount of makeup. We are typically not as beautiful as GG's therefor, larger quantities of foundation and powders are required. Too much blush can be over the top.
As far a dressing, I typically dress to how I feel. Most of the times to feel feminine I wear a dress and heels. Jeans and sneakers can be worn en drab. Short skirts are rare. If I'm going out, I wouldn't wear a short skirt, I already attract enough attention and wouldn't feel comfortable getting any more.

[michellecd9999]

When I dress up at home or for pics, I love to put on short skirts, high heels and look as sexy and young as I can. When I go out in public (only a few experiences) I dress more my age (49) with knee length skirts, long sleeves to cover my arm hair, etc. When I am out my purpose is to "blend" and appear as much like a GG as I can. When home or taking pics I like to look as much of a sexy woman as I can get away with as that is more of a turn on for me.
Michelle

[Sharon_Rose]

Age in this context could be chronological, could be how long he has been cross dressing, could be maturity.

I have never liked dressing that way, even when the outfits were a size 6. Those days are gone forever. When I first started, I wore clothes like girls my age. When I used make up, it was in keeping with the time of day, the occasion, etc.

I do admit that I derived unbelievable sensations when the outfits were form fitting. I still love to wear heels. I still love to wear skirts. My taste in clothing and makeup changed as I grew older. I wanted to be able to "pass" more easily and not draw attention to myself.

In looking at today's clothing, you have to admit most of it is form fitting, filmy, and made to make people "feel" younger and wilder.

The choice of clothing has nothing to do you your choice and what you wear. Give him time; help him select items that are not quite as attention grabbing but will still allow him the "feeling."

Now, I grew up loving the way classical styles looked. Pleated skirts, sweaters, skimmers, etc. When I saw women in tight clothing, fishnet hose, really high heels...my first thought went to "hooker." That isn't meant to insult those who wear that type of clothing...it was just the way I was raised.

Good shopping and good luck.

[Melissa A.]

As a few here have said, I think the sexy clothing and heels are a desire to look as sexy and femmy as possible, even if it is over the top. Also, all of us are different, and there are many different ways of cding. While I have a fair amount of short skirts and heels, most of my wardrobe consists of casual but feminine attire, like a tiered knee length skirt and a lacy tank top. I actually feel prettier dressed that way. I have lots of heels, but over time you realise, as GGs undoubtadly do much earlier, that you can wear a pretty pair of sandals or flats and look just as good. (and be far more comfortable!). I have never been one for tight corsets and other restrictive underwear. I'm fine in just a bra and panties, although I do own a couple of lycra braslips for certain outfits. I have even gone away from pantyhose to some degree, even when I go out for a drive or walk, especially in the daytime, even though my legs look alot better in pantyhose. First of all, most women don't wear pantyhose with a casual skirt, and bare legs(hairless, of course!) just feel great!

As far as makeup is concerened, well, we're not GGs, and probably feel that it is necessary wear alot. I have cut back on the foundation andblush a bit over the years, but will admit that I LOVE mascara and eyeliner and probably do wear a bit much, especially for daytime. Can't help it, I just love it. That's probably how some other girls feel about heels and other sexy attire. We all have our different tastes and ideas about what makes us look our best. But many of us could probably do with some experimentation, as well, and try to branch out a bit, myself included.

Hugs,

Melissa:happy:

[carol anne]

:happy: Wow! All kinds of answers and many of them a little long. I am also a"senior" and so I don't attempt to emulate the younger set. I prefer to be dressy "quiet"- in other words nothing which will set off fireworks. I try to wear clothing which appeals to women of my age and their men. Conservative and feminine is what I yearn for in my public personna. Nothing too long or too short- mid knee is my norm

[Fallen Angel]

My husband is a CDer, he's on this board as well and ive asked him this question several times but id like to hear other answers.

When he dresses as Paige he always wants to wear short skirts, high heels, & lots of makeup...my question is Why?? I dont dress that way, alot of GGs dont wear short skirts & dresses and full makeup all the time. He says he wants to feel like a woman which I understand.

Even when I look thru pics online of other CDers they are normally in dresses or short skirts, low cut shirts, high heels and lots of makeup. I mean I accept him 100% id just like to see him in some less "hoochie" clothes. And not trying to offend anyone on here, its just my opinion. Id just like to see him in more jeans, longer skirts and things that are I guess more ladylike is what im trying to say. Just curious as to what others have to say :happy: Have a nice day!
I cant answer for the other girls here but the way i dress is my taste in how a female should look not being rude but you you did say you dont dress at all (HINT-HINT) And I dont think I dress as a hoochie either I am full time and i see what most of the girls are wearing these days and try to be as trendy,unless its going out clubing then short skirts and hi heels are part of it.My mother puts her face on all the time she wouldnt be caught dead out side with out her make up on and the same goes for me.I see alot of gg's in malls and supermarkets sporting curlers in there hair and wearing house slipers while shopping :eek: Most of us look ten to 15 years younger with make up on soooooooo if we can look our best in short skirts and heels well why not:happy:

[EricaCD]

There's not too much to add to this thread! Not that it will stop me...

Several have raised the sensible point that CDs need more makeup than GGs to present an acceptable fem image, all other things being equal. (And yes, I do agree that even so, we tend to over-do the makeup.) A similar point can be made for our clothes. Put a woman in a pair of jeans, T-shirt and sensible shoes and she looks like a casually dressed woman. Put Erica in the same outfit and I look like a man in a wig.

That said, as I started venturing out, it quickly became apparent to me that the clothing I enjoy wearing at home/for photos is a little too revealing. The skirts are getting a bit longer, tops a little looser, heels a little lower for my wearing-out ensembles. Still, my average outfit will always be more fem than an average GG's outfit. For me the trick is to make sure I am not too far outside the average and call attention to myself that way, while avoiding the "guy in a wig" problem the other way.

In any case Sherry, hopefully this thread has given you a sense as to the fantastic diversity of CD viewpoints on this subject!

Erica

[SherryLynn GG]

I cant answer for the other girls here but the way i dress is my taste in how a female should look not being rude but you you did say you dont dress at all (HINT-HINT) :

Im not sure what you mean in that statement...and as far as him dressing how he thinks a woman should look, thats not it at all...if that was what he thought was attractive and what he wanted in a woman then why would he have married me??? Yes I said I dont dress like that, but thats not my style...I dont think a woman has to wear a short skirt and makeup to be a woman...I wear makeup when I want to and I dress how I want to, there is no "right" way to dress to be a woman. And he's not trying to give me hints if thats what youre saying...he loves me just how I am

[connie rotten]

A lot of crossdressers seem to be exhibitionists. Some to a greater extent than others. You should check out www. vickirene.net her sight has a wide array of t-girl photos and home pages every thing including Glam girls, flaunts, to down right tarts.
The answer most common is I don't really know it is just what I like to wear.
Your husband and I seem to be in the same boat other than perfume and deoderant my SO and I don't have any fem items the other has any intrest in. She and I are totally differant taste in womens wear. She won't wear over a 2" heel and she shops at Talberts.

[Sharon]

....if that was what he thought was attractive and what he wanted in a woman then why would he have married me???

I don't know for sure, but your SO's attraction to you may be deeper than just the way you look.


Yes I said I dont dress like that, but thats not my style...I dont think a woman has to wear a short skirt and makeup to be a woman...I wear makeup when I want to and I dress how I want to, there is no "right" way to dress to be a woman.

You see, this is the part you aren't grasping. You already are a woman and feminine, even though you prefer to dress down. We, on the other hand, sometimes need to go the extra step to feel feminine. A little more effort and a little extra attention to the details are often necessary for us, particularly those of us who identify ourselves as female and want to be treated as such.

Also -- you do realize that there are actual GG's who dress to the nines whenever they leave the house, even if it's just to go to the grocery store. To each their own I suppose, and as you say, there is no right way to dress to be a woman.

My style is rather casual as well, and I normally try to get by with as little makeup as possible. If it was possible, I would prefer to forego makeup altogether, but that's just not feasible if I intend to leave the house.

[SherryLynn GG]

I don't know for sure, but your SO's attraction to you may be deeper than just the way you look.



You see, this is the part you aren't grasping. You already are a woman and feminine, even though you prefer to dress down. We, on the other hand, sometimes need to go the extra step to feel feminine. A little more effort and a little extra attention to the details are often necessary for us, particularly those of us who identify ourselves as female and want to be treated as such.

Also -- you do realize that there are actual GG's who dress to the nines whenever they leave the house, even if it's just to go to the grocery store. To each their own I suppose, and as you say, there is no right way to dress to be a woman.

My style is rather casual as well, and I normally try to get by with as little makeup as possible. If it was possible, I would prefer to forego makeup altogether, but that's just not feasible if I intend to leave the house.



Yes I know he loves me for more than how I look, I wasnt saying that at all

And I do realize that there are GG's who dress to the nines whenever they leave the house and I also grasp the whole thing, trust me, I wasnt saying that a CDer shouldnt dress this way at all, I was simply asking why it seemed that most dress like that all the time...thats all, just wanted opinions....Ive been alive for 28 years, I know what other GG's do, Ive known about the CDing for over a year now so im learning what he does.....and I believe I totally grasp the fact that im a woman and im already feminine after all ive been this way my whole life

I think some are taking this way out of context. Im thinking for some reason people assume im not that smart and have no idea about the outside world sheesh

[Sharon]

You re-asked the question, Sweetie -- I was just doing my best to clarify things from my point of view. I had no intention of talking down to you.

[prettieboy]

a true cder will dress as ****ty as he can.sometimes we dress as what we desire.

[Melinda G]

As was discussed in a thread several months ago, many of us dress for the sexual excitement. And face it. We are attracted to short skirts, high heels,and lots of leg. And I am turned off by the "frump" look. So why would I dress that way. I dress to imitate what I like to see. And as we all know mirrors and pics are a girls best friend, and I don't want to see a "frump" in my mirror, or my videos!:D

[GG Vanya]

a true cder will dress as ****ty as he can.sometimes we dress as what we desire.


As I said in another thread...Artists painting with broad strokes seldom accurately depict the details.

Mind defining a "TRUE" CDer for me? All these years I thought I was married to one, but according to your edict, I'm not because Trudi damn sure doesn't dress as ****ty as she can.

There is a difference in dressing classy yet provocatively and dressing ****ty aka downright trashy.

I've got my flame retardent suit on, so I'll post here what I was discussing with Trudi last night.

I see many here (not all) who seem to be stuck at age 13. I realize that CD's have to "back up" to go through puberty if they began dressing at an older age, but perpetually dressing, acting and talking like a teeny bopper is a definite turn off for me. If every time Trudi dressed, she time travelled back to a giggly, gauche and obnoxious 13 year old, dressed in clothes that obviouisly do NOT reflect her true age, I confess I'd not be as accepting as I am. I raised three sons and escaped the teen daughter nightmare, so I damn sure don't want my husband acting like one.

GG's grow out of that, so if you CD's REALLY want to be like a "REAL WOMAN" you need to do the same.

[evol]

I read a lot of responses, and had to ask myself if any of these people have ever known a woman. I can understan wanting to blend in, but that is only a cd thing. What woman doesn't want to stand apart from the rest. What woman says I can't wear that I might be too good looking. Yeah, look at it like that. But I do believe it's about dressing like what we want. And as for make up, men don't typically have as nice skin as women, make up hides blemishes, and can help to "soften" their face. Most men have a chisled face, most women have a softer more round face. So to those that go that far, they are trying to blend in. To each his own, but he'd better understand there are enough men here who's wives don't allow any of this. He'd better be happy as a pig in s**t that you are still right there! another thought...If you dress him he will wear it. Now his jeans are probably pretty loose, get him more fem jeans, go out and point out hot chicks who are dressed down. They still have guys chasing them, so its not always about being the ****tiest girl at the party. In fact don't even try 'cause you can't beat me!!!!

[GG Vanya]

I read a lot of responses, and had to ask myself if any of these people have ever known a woman. I can understan wanting to blend in, but that is only a cd thing. What woman doesn't want to stand apart from the rest. What woman says I can't wear that I might be too good looking. Yeah, look at it like that. But I do believe it's about dressing like what we want. And as for make up, men don't typically have as nice skin as women, make up hides blemishes, and can help to "soften" their face. Most men have a chisled face, most women have a softer more round face. So to those that go that far, they are trying to blend in. To each his own, but he'd better understand there are enough men here who's wives don't allow any of this. He'd better be happy as a pig in s**t that you are still right there! another thought...If you dress him he will wear it. Now his jeans are probably pretty loose, get him more fem jeans, go out and point out hot chicks who are dressed down. They still have guys chasing them, so its not always about being the ****tiest girl at the party. In fact don't even try 'cause you can't beat me!!!!

As a GG, I can say there is a time and a place for each style of clothing. I've never said I won't wear something because I might be too good looking, but I've damn sure decided not to wear a skort to church, or hot pants to a dinner theatre.

And yes, there ARE times GG's do not want to stand apart from the rest. One basic example would be at a wedding or a funeral.

And thanks, but I think I'll pass on the competition on who can dress the ****tiest. <smirk> I'd sure you'd win hands down.

[Miranda33]

You Go Girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!0.02

[Miss Vicki]

I do dress in mini skirts and hose and padded bras around the house. I enjoy looking like the girls of my dreams.
I have dressed with my inner wear on and put a sweat shirt and jeans over them. I felt real comfortable and forgot I had them on as I walked into the hardware store. As soon as I realized that I was dressed with 32B chest I froze. For a second and thought all eyes were looking at me. I looked around and everyone was doing thier own thing and I nervously paid and left.
I look back and thought," What if I met one of my buddies or someone who I did not like me for some reason. They would have shouted from the rooftops."
I loved the excitement however, the damage could have been ir-repairable.
Thus, I am happy with the **** look at home. If I could meet someone who could make me up to pass then I would go out as a lady of my age.