My story, my thoughts (quite unusual I think)

[AndyM]

As a child attending elementary school, I was fascinated with female clothes that were denied to boys, especially skirts. They lookes fashionable and comfortable. Growing up, I become interested in female hairstyles and jewellery: I stole my mother's clip-on earrings, bracelets and necklaces, I put on an old skirt, I covered my short hair with a scarf or a bandana and I stared at my image in the mirror for hours. But my fantasies stopped there: I never thought of myself as "a girl trapped in boy's body", nor did I referred to me with a girl name. I was not even interested in bras, that seemed useless to me, since I did not want female tits. Successively, I realized that my objective was not exactly to "look like a girl", but to reach an ideal model of somehow "androgynous" beauty, by giving feminine face and hair to my male body.
The only way for a male to female crossdresser to go in public without getting any bad comments is that he passes for a woman undoubtedly, i.e. his disguise is perfect. If one goes out wearing just one or few pieces of female clothes without hiding his genetic gender, he is immediately recognized and teased. I wish I could go out wearing a miniskirt these days, but I dare not; all I allowed myself was a pareo, that looks most like a skirt and is quite socially acceptable for a man.

[JoAnnDallas]

I have gone out many times, wearing panties, bra, pantyhose, Ladies slacks, Ladies T-shirt, and Ladies running shoes. I have also wore flesh colored lipstick too. no one notices and I get called "Sir". I just love it, because here I am all dressed up as a female, except for makeup, jewlery, or wig and no one notices. So there are ways to go out fem and at the same time not be seen as fem.

[bgirl]

I agree. I wish I could wear feminine things out as well. Ive found lipstick that doesnt seem to catch a notice. Iv'e wore a kilt when in Seatlle (Utilikilts are made there, in any length). Bike in girl tights. But if I decieded to go out any time in any thing, my wife would kick my..........

[Calliope]

The only way for a male to female crossdresser to go in public without getting any bad comments is that he passes for a woman undoubtedly, i.e. his disguise is perfect. If one goes out wearing just one or few pieces of female clothes without hiding his genetic gender, he is immediately recognized and teased.

Not in the places I've lived. Following examples set by all the women in my life, I don't even shave my arms or legs when I go out in a skirt and top. I have no need for a 'disguise,' dressing is my break from the disguise. People in my neighborhood(s) just don't care that much. Maybe a geographical cure is in your future. Or maybe you're projecting.

[Kimberley]

Hi Andy,
Many of us are similar to your approach. Although you will hear a lot of dissent from your POV it doesnt matter. What does matter is what works for you. Ultimately it is your needs that have to be satisfied.

I have also gone out both dressed up and dressed down (my preference) and rarely does anyone notice or care. Even so, one still has to exercise caution because not all people are so tolerant.

Names? Here it supplies anonymity which is a good thing. For some of us it is who we are (TG/TS). Again, it is irrelevant to your own needs.

Kimberley.

[tekla west]

I dress up, and I dress down too. I'm not climbing a rope ladder into a fifty-foot high truss in a skirt for obvious reasons. Back when my hair was long, mid-back - I looked pretty fem no matter what I wore. And I don't think you have to pass, at least not here - your results may vary.

But for me its way beyond the clothes, not that I mind fashion, not at all. But I try to incorporate as much of the fem into my life as I can, and that includes values as well as skirts. Its about outlook, deportment, caring no matter what I wear. I know I'm a much better boss now, more open to the ideas of others, more interested in cooperation, and a much better listener.

As for unique, sure if you and a couple hundred thousand others can be considered unique. All of this exists on a spectrum, there is no one place, no one right way, no preferred method. There is no CD/TS rule book, the HBSC was as close as it came, and that was only for TSs, and at that its slowly but surely being abandoned because it was not flexible enough to match the realities of the TG community. I think that many who work so hard on trying to pass are doing their best to blend into that binary definition of gender our society and culture is so fond of. To be outside of that narrow range makes others uncomfortable. I'm quite sure that more people are OK with TGs who are pure TS, than with any level of androgyny. They want girls to be girls and boys to be boys even if its boys being girls and girls being boys.

Life just ain't that easy, or simple. Many of us are far more 'gender bender' - though I have to admit that all of that stuff was bent pretty far long before I got here - or gender pirates, or even gender traitors. So there are a lot of ways to be a gender transgressor, like water, given our freedom we find our own level, and that in itself changes over time.

[unclejoann]

There is no CD/TS rule book ... gender pirates, or even gender traitors. So there are a lot of ways to be a gender transgressor.
I love these images. maybe a short skirt with an eyepatch for the gender pirate

[tekla west]

Eyyyee and Arrrgh Matie! And ye surely be walking the plank on that ship unless ye be hoisting that anchor and reefing those sails. Ye scurvy dog ye.

[Calliope]

I dress up, and I dress down too. I'm not climbing a rope ladder into a fifty-foot high truss in a skirt for obvious reasons. Back when my hair was long, mid-back - I looked pretty fem no matter what I wore. And I don't think you have to pass, at least not here - your results may vary.

But for me its way beyond the clothes, not that I mind fashion, not at all. But I try to incorporate as much of the fem into my life as I can, and that includes values as well as skirts. Its about outlook, deportment, caring no matter what I wear. I know I'm a much better boss now, more open to the ideas of others, more interested in cooperation, and a much better listener.

As for unique, sure if you and a couple hundred thousand others can be considered unique. All of this exists on a spectrum, there is no one place, no one right way, no preferred method. There is no CD/TS rule book, the HBSC was as close as it came, and that was only for TSs, and at that its slowly but surely being abandoned because it was not flexible enough to match the realities of the TG community. I think that many who work so hard on trying to pass are doing their best to blend into that binary definition of gender our society and culture is so fond of. To be outside of that narrow range makes others uncomfortable. I'm quite sure that more people are OK with TGs who are pure TS, than with any level of androgyny. They want girls to be girls and boys to be boys even if its boys being girls and girls being boys.

Life just ain't that easy, or simple. Many of us are far more 'gender bender' - though I have to admit that all of that stuff was bent pretty far long before I got here - or gender pirates, or even gender traitors. So there are a lot of ways to be a gender transgressor, like water, given our freedom we find our own level, and that in itself changes over time.

I'm quoting this whole set of paragraphs because I think they are beautiful.

[Melissa A.]

Those are beautiful words. The wide spectrum that is transgenderism welcomes all of us, regardless of what we need to do to experience the girl that is a part of us.

It's funny- when I go out alone, either for a drive or a walk; day or night, I really feel the need to pass. Partially because I don't want to be ridiculed (but I like to think I would handle it well, by letting them know I'm not embarrassed or ashamed) or beat up. But the one time an ex-girlfriend took me to a bar dressed (albeit a predominantly gay bar where she knew many people) I found myself not caring one bit about passing or looking perfect. I had a wonderful time and everyone was so nice. I guess it all depends on the situation you put yourself in. If I knew the world didn't care, I would go right into that mall and shop as Melissa. Unfortunately, the world does care, and the fear is still too great for me to do that. Someday, maybe....

Hugs,

Melissa:happy:

[sparks]

I used to own a bookstore and would frequent my friends bookstore as well. He dealt in alot of higher end used books. He would keep his eyes open for books for a small clientelle he had. One day he showed me this book published in the 60's I believe. Mostly photographs of androgynous boys. Much like you described of your youth. Just boys wearing some rouge, jewelery, scarves. Nothing indecent. The book was falling apart literally! He said it wouldn't matter it waould sell anyhow. He marked it high and he sold it.
I guess the topic might not be that weird. We are all different in our tastes. And if someone published a coffe table book of pictures on the subject I guess it should make us all feel more secure about ourselves.

[Calliope]

... Partially because I don't want to be ridiculed (but I like to think I would handle it well, by letting them know I'm not embarrassed or ashamed) or beat up.

The sort of 'bad neighborhoods' I would avoid dressed are the exact same ones I would avoid en drab. After all, substituting pants for the skirt doesn't make me any more capable of dealing with goons.

[bgirl]

Those are beautiful words. The wide spectrum that is transgenderism welcomes all of us, regardless of what we need to do to experience the girl that is a part of us.

It's funny- when I go out alone, either for a drive or a walk; day or night, I really feel the need to pass. Partially because I don't want to be ridiculed (but I like to think I would handle it well, by letting them know I'm not embarrassed or ashamed) or beat up. But the one time an ex-girlfriend took me to a bar dressed (albeit a predominantly gay bar where she knew many people) I found myself not caring one bit about passing or looking perfect. I had a wonderful time and everyone was so nice. I guess it all depends on the situation you put yourself in. If I knew the world didn't care, I would go right into that mall and shop as Melissa. Unfortunately, the world does care, and the fear is still too great for me to do that. Someday, maybe....

Hugs,

Melissa:happy:
I agree. I would love to go out and try on dresses and shoes at the mall without worrying about what everybody thinks,however the world is what it is and I am part of it. It would almost be easier for me in drab I think. That way I wouldn't be trying to fool anybody. Least of all myself!

[Marla]

I went out biking today in full make up! I mean everything, inclunding a short wig. It was so exciting, and if anyone noticed I really didnt care! I guess Im at that point where being feminine is more important than what anyone thinks. Your life is what you want to make it!

[Kimberly]

I love these images. maybe a short skirt with an eyepatch for the gender pirate
Yarrr!!

Or even better - a wenches outfit with an eyepatch.

"I be a transgender pirate, here to steal your pearl earings!! Yarr!"