"Cross-dresser" who doesnt fit in(aka a guy in a skirt:)

[USNguyNskirt]

Ok here is my story: (This whole post will prolly be very lengthy so please bear with me, as I am longwinded)

I am in the Navy. My wife knows about my crossdressing and is very supportive. The Navy knows, and it really doesnt matter as I am getting out soon anyways, so dont dwell on that. Anyways here is my ultimate issue: I am what most would consider a "cross-dresser" however, by most cross-dressers terms I prolly wouldnt be considered one. It seems most crossdressers are trying to pass (either on purpose or by accident). Passing does not matter to me. You say so what? Doesnt matter to alot of crossdressers...Please bear with me.

Now when I say I have no ambitions about passing, this is what it means in its entirety. I see myself as simply a guy in a skirt. That is the very meaning of crossdressing according to society, however as most on here know, crossdressing in our community means passing, looking like a girl, etc.) I am simply a guy in a skirt. I wear the skirt, the pantyhose, even the shoes. However, except on halloween, (so I can fit in and "look the part") I have no need for any makeup or a wig (and my hair is short and obviously cut like a guys at the moment). I am perfectly happy with my masculinity and just enjoy the clothes and see no reason to need to be a "girl". I also dont give myself a "fem name" as many crossdressers do. I am NOT implying there is anything wrong with these practices, just something I dont participate in. I have gone out in public dressed and it is exhilirating to say the least. I love it. I get weird comments occasionally and occasionally some ignorant jerks, but for the most part everyone minds their own business.

Anyways, I am just trying to see if there are more people like me out there. Obviously without fully dressing, I dont really fit the part of a "cross-dresser" but yet still shunned by society as a man in a skirt. Going to crossdressing support meetings or attending crossdressing events I would feel very out of place. If anyone knows anyone out there who is like me if you could direct them to this thread or me to them, it would be greatly helpful. Just looking for people with experiences similiar to mine that I could become friends with. If you would like to contact me outside of this message board you can do so at XdressinSailor on AIM. Thank you all for the time. Again I apologize for the longwinded first post.
Michael

[Kimberly]

I am perfectly happy with my masculinity and just enjoy the clothes and see no reason to need to be a "girl".
Then you, my friend, are blessed.

No, seriously - you sound more like a political crossdresser. "Why can't men wear skirts?"

Plus -- Crossdressing is a broad label only covering the action of dressing. Whatever your dressing means to you, no one will judge. Here, anyway.

[USNguyNskirt]

As stated that line wasnt meant to offend. To each their own. It is just simply not for me. And I definitely do think I fit more into the category of "why can't men wear skirts". I mean obviously its for alot of the same reasons crossdressers wear them for, sexual, feeling attractive, liked being looked at etc, etc. I went to that link posted a few days ago about that christian site discussing this stuff and went and posted there as well. I am not worried about being judged, obviously if i was, i wouldnt be wearing a skirt ;) . But on that same note it be nice to know there are others out there like me, that have similiar motives and situations. I mean to society we are all one and the same, and while I may not be judged sitting here behind my computer screen, if I was to attend a CD event, it might be completely different, as I would prolly be the only one not completely dressed. Same thing with a support group. Just hoping to find someone that shares my situation that I could be come good friends with.just my 0.02

[Kimberly]

Read this...
http://graffiti.virgin.net/sally.watson/philos/achieve.htm

[USNguyNskirt]

Wow, that article is amazing. Thank you. Now I just hope to meet more people like me on this forum. I already ran into someone with a similiar post to mine (guess I shoulda used the search function) I went ahead and pmed them. I have been coming here for a while just mainly used the chat and read, but didnt post. Look forward to hearing mroe from people like myself ;)

[Phoebe Reece]

There are certainly other crossdressers out there who are pretty much just like you. They may not be as vocal or outgoing as some of the rest of us, but that's OK. Whatever degree of crossdressing is right for you is a very personal matter and something that should not be judged by anyone.
You might want to consider trying to attend the Southern Comfort Conference in Atlanta in September. Pretty much the entire TG spectrum is represented there, including the "guy in a skirt". I saw one guy there last year walking around the hotel lobby wearing heels, pantyhose, skirt, shirt (no bra or breast forms), fur stole, no makeup, mustache, and short hair. See this site for more info: http://www.sccatl.org/
Some support groups will welcome you also, provided you restrict your dressing to the meeting place and don't go out in public with them in "mixed" mode.

[USNguyNskirt]

I will look into that site, however the point you just made is exactly my issue. Why should I have to "confrom" to their way of thinking out in public? Because I might give them away? Why would I want to join a group where I couldnt be myself? Hence the reason I am looking for more poeple like me. I go to the grocery store like this. I have no fears of going out in public like this. If people are afraid they wont "pass" with me in their presence, then they probably werent a very good looking girl in the first place and should probably giving up trying to pass themselves. That article that Kimberly posted so personifies my views and makes me feel much better about being myself and finding others like myself and not just giving in because someone doesnt like it.

[Victoria-Marie]

Maybe you should take a look at this other forum:
http://www.tomscafe.org/forums/

The cafe was established in October of 1996 to promote fashion freedom for men; in particular to promote and support men wearing skirts and kilts, also known as MUGs, Male Unbifurcated Garments.

[Maria2004]

with your point of view, and there are others like you on this forum, and Kimberly's link was very good. We shouldn't have to do things a certain way to kiss anyone else's arse, and I don't either, I wear a wig because I love long hair, had shoulder length hair until I enlisted in the Marine Corps (because I wanted to, not to prove anything) at my age now it's easier to pop a wig on my head then bother with growing my own balding gray mane, I like the makeup, I can hide the wrinkles and the effects of exposure to the elements and smoking and alcohol abuse. I'm a guy in a dress and tell people that, I don't spoof my voice, or walk all girlie, just ask Phoebe :happy: .

I admire your courage, it's great your willing to risk your life and become a martyr for the cause, I actualy feel the same way. I've had vitrualy no problems going out myself, it's been great. I'd like to share a link though to remind both you and me, and empathize with those that want to "pass" that there still remains a small precentage in the good ole U S of A that we defended, that would happily put a bullet in our heads just because we are different.
http://www.gender.org/remember/#

Rock on USN Guy N Skirt. You look great BTW :hugs:

Love

Maria

[USNguyNskirt]

Thanks for the links guys, I will be sure to check them all out. I am glad to know I have found a community in this site and people that understand where I am coming from. Most other sites I have vistied have not been so accomodating, but have simply looked down on me because I was "not one fo them". It is nice to know everyone on this site, seems to be nonjudgmental and supportive. Maybe if there is a big enough group of us that are jsut "guys in skirts" we get our own forum section :winking: Thanks for all the supportive words and the references. I have heard there is many poeple on here like this and its nice to know. I jsut oculdnt be in a group that doesnt allow me to be me.anyways if anybody ever wants to chat, you all are welcome to hit me up on aim. I love meeting new people. Well Im gonna go check out those links now. Keep the posts coming! Apparently the posting on tom's cafe has been disabled? I cant register maybe you can tlak to whoever is in charge and get it opened back up for people me and other poeple looking for a palce to go? EDIT:NVM I got a weird message the first time I tried to register, but it worked the second time.

[Helen MC]

USN guy. Crossdressing or Transvestism is a board church and encompasses everyone from the man who only wears women's panties instead of male underwear under his ordinary male clothing and does not wear any other female clothes, all the way to the very convincing TV who looks like a biological woman and freely goes about en-femme, perhaps even having sillicone breast enhancements but not perhaps having gone all the way to GRS, what is sometimes vulgarly called a "chick with a dick" or "a **** in a frock" although such coarse expressions do not do justice. The katoi "ladyboys" in Siam for example are very convincing to say the least!

Some of us do not attempt to "pass" and do not therefore go out en-femme, prefering to dress as far as we desire indoors - we are still CDs. For my own part I wear panties 24/7 as I have done since I was 12 under my male clothing, and change into a dress or skirt when I get home. Part of my motivation is sexual arousal , part comfort and I certainly would love to be able to wear a skirt or dress outdoors but alas the mores of our society , even here in the UK, are not yet liberated enough to accept that.

Good luck to you USN guy and welcome to the scene.

BTW I did look at "Tom's Cafe" in the past but found it to be too butch and macho. I do have a strong female aspect to my persona as well as enjoying wearing women's clothing, (especially panties and skirts) rather than men's.

[Siobhan Marie]

USN guy. Crossdressing or Transvestism is a board church and encompasses everyone from the man who only wears women's panties instead of male underwear under his ordinary male clothing and does not wear any other female clothes, all the way to the very convincing TV who looks like a biological woman and freely goes about en-femme, perhaps even having sillicone breast enhancements but not perhaps having gone all the way to GRS, what is sometimes vulgarly called a "chick with a dick" or "a **** in a frock" although such coarse expressions do not do justice. The katoi "ladyboys" in Siam for example are very convincing to say the least!

Some of us do not attempt to "pass" and do not therefore go out en-femme, prefering to dress as far as we desire indoors - we are still CDs. For my own part I wear panties 24/7 as I have done since I was 12 under my male clothing, and change into a dress or skirt when I get home. Part of my motivation is sexual arousal , part comfort and I certainly would love to be able to wear a skirt or dress outdoors but alas the mores of our society , even here in the UK, are not yet liberated enough to accept that.

Good luck to you USN guy and welcome to the scene.

BTW I did look at "Tom's Cafe" in the past but found it to be too butch and macho. I do have a strong female aspect to my persona as well as enjoying wearing women's clothing, (especially panties and skirts) rather than men's.


:iagree: with what Helen said. I too wear panties 24/7 and sleep in nighties. I am also transgendered, I only found this out recently. I don't go out dressed, for a number of personal reasons and the fact that I don't have much of a wardrobe (yet!!) and to echo what Helen said, welcome to the scene

:hugs: Anna x

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Hey Guy,

Despite my picture and fake female name, I am the same as you. My ultimate fantasy with crossdressing is that I could walk out somewhere dressed as a guy and wearing a skirt or maybe another little bit of what is considered "women's" clothes and not have it be some huge deal.

I hope someday I will be able to "come out" about this and be myself while wearing skirts and such. Don't know when that will be though.

[Stephenie S]

Dear USN Guy,

First, let me tell you I have the utmost respect for those of you in the Armed Forces. Serving our country in this manner deserves great honor.

Now, of course you will find others like you here. This is a very broad and diverse group of people. You will find much support and friendliness.

A month or so ago I was in Barnes and Noble and here comes a guy in a skirt. Now this was a GUY in a skirt! Big, flannel shirt, work boots, full beard, and a lovely pleated navy skirt. I can tell you no one was gonna mess with this one. He was clearly not trying to pass, just a guy in a skirt. So, rock on!

Lovies,
Stephenie

[USNguyNskirt]

Looks like there might be a revolution going on. Guys in Skirts FTW!!!!
I look forward to hearing from more of you all and possibly speaking with some more of you.

[tekla west]

Well there Navy, we always wore long peasent gauze skirt to Dead shows in the summertime. No passing, no crossing, just good to keep the sun off your legs. I wore one to Madonna in Cochillia a couple months back. Simple off white. Again, no passing, no crossing, just guys in skirts because you are going to be out in that desert sun for over 10 hours so you need something cool, yet protective. At that, it was well over 100 degrees in there when her highness went on - and, as is her wish, she had every lighting insturment in southern california in there too. Must have been 110+ on stage. But the old girl looks pretty good hot and wet I must say.

[Angie G]

USNguy I some time dress in just a skirt or just blouse or a skirt hose & heels it makes no differents I'm a crossdresser.
If you just put on a skirt your a crossdresser it not all that bad to be a crossdresser try no the it don't hert.
Not all the girls here dress to differnt degrees we are crossdressers and I'm happy bing a crossdresser just a man in a skirt in my book is a xdresser just like me it don't hert having a girls name ether :hugs: babe. :hugs
And think you for you service to this nation my hat is off to you.
Angie G.

[Butterfly Bill]

Well, I just got back from the Rainbow Gathering in northern Colorado where there were as much as 25% of the brothers wearing long hippie skirts on the Fourth of July, the day we have our Silent Meditation for World Peace. Lots of them start out with something borrowed from a girlfriend. And lots of them had beards even longer than mine, and neither sisters nor brothers wore any makeup, except for a few from Faerie Camp.

And I drove home by way of Taos back to Muskogee in a long red rayon dress, and stopped for the second night in Elk City, OK, and had dinner in a truck stop restaurant and the waitress called me "Honey" just like she did with all the other men (southern custom). And none of the lots of dudes in jeans said anything to me.

Yes, you can be a man in a skirt, and you will probably get better acceptance by being unabashedly a man than you will by trying to make people think you are a woman. The honesty lots of people find appealing. Skirts have been a part of hippie culture since the days of the Grateful Dead shows, and goth and punk men have been known to wear them too.

And I have tried only once to join one of the "support groups" that frown on androgyny and instead try to enforce the same rigid gender roles that oppress us all. Most of them are just bigger closets. You can find support in the real world from real people without needing any group. Just go out the door and and keep finding more.

[noname]

Don't sweat nothing, sounds to me as if your more about style and choice than cd'ing. I never intend to pass, I just like style and want more choices.

btw is it just me or are guys cloths really lacking variet, style, and color? They seem to dull and box cut if you will.

"If you just put on a skirt your a crossdresser"

As you probably guess, I would disagree.

[sissystephanie]

Michael,

I am somewhat like you. I am definitely a crossdresser (also ex-Navy), who doesn't really care to try and "pass." I just enjoy the pleasure of feminine clothing. As a widower, I eat out quite often. In the last 12 months, I could probably count on one hand the number of times I have gone out dressed like a man. I don't go out in skirts, but do wear "skorts" frequently, and love them. I wear blouses, or other feminine tops and of course always feminine shoes. Since I am in Georgia I wear open toe sandals a good part of the time, so my pretty red, or bright pink, toe nails will be seen. Yes, I do get some "looks", usually from men. Women look at my toes and smile at me. I wear a Bra most of time, sometimes with an insert to give me a better figure. However, some pills I have been taking are causing some growth in my own breasts, so maybe I won't need the forms much longer. I also wear female slacks, and have them tailored to emphasise the feminine look! My feminine wardrobe is larger than my masculine one, and I am still working!

Sissy

[KateW]

I have seen many websites where men incorportate a female item of clothing into their male attire (be it a skirt, or tights etc). You are certainly not alone, as most crossdressers don't fit into a particular pigeon hole. I wish you the best of luck, and welcome to this fantastic community!

[dontay155]

i'm in largely the same boat. i love to see myself in a skirt. I got good legs, and they look better in a skirt, and its sexy in a manly way (what ever that is). When I do constuction work at home alone, its short skirt and tool belt time and I'm a happy camper. But it does sneek up on you. After a while i though I'd just try on a little bra...and oh my that was sort of nice...and it goes on from there...but at the end of the day I have no desire to look like a woman, no wig, no makeup, no sexy shoes. Just a manly man in panties, bra, skirt and cami.

My story and I'm sticking to it...

[Maria2004]

Yes, you can be a man in a skirt, and you will probably get better acceptance by being unabashedly a man than you will by trying to make people think you are a woman. The honesty lots of people find appealing. You can find support in the real world from real people without needing any group. Just go out the door and and keep finding more.

Bill said it better :hugs:

[Khriss]

..many choices and programs ..on the "TV" channels ...go figure ?:eek: :D "K"

[Rachel Morley]

Hello USNguyNskirt,

What a great thread! This is (I feel) a rather touchy subject with a lot of people. I personally feel my most femme when I am fully dressed with everything that I can do to make me look like a "woman". However, it's not always practical or convenient to dress fully en femme, yet I still want to feel feminine and pretty. How do I achieve this?...partial dressing. Here's a link to something my wife Marla GG wrote that I think sums it up.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=20536

[AndyM]

I think the feminine gender expresses few human characteristics best (such as beauty, sweetness, elegance), but I feel myself a man and I love it. This is why I only want to 'borrow' some external features from the feminine gender and I do not want to give up the possibility to live as a man. Moreover, although I often wear female clothes, I do not loathe my male clothing, especially when it is elegant like a tuxedo suit could be.

[bobby_hansen]

I just e-mailed Old Navy's customer department and suggested that they look into designing/selling men's skirts as it seems demand is growing:


Thank you for your e-mail and for your suggestion regarding selling
men's skirts. We appreciate the time you have taken to contact us to
share your thoughts with us. We will pass your message along to our
merchandising team, as customer feedback is the most important
consideration when planning what our future products will look like.

If we may be of further assistance, please contact us via e-mail at
[email protected] or by calling 1-800-OLD-NAVY. Our Customer
Service Consultants are available 24 hours a day for your convenience.

[JoAnnDallas]

I bet that will raise a eyebrow or two and mabey even a giggle or two. But I support you 100%.

[loki_uk]

Whether you're just in the closet and can't shave or just want to wear womens clothes but don't feel the need to look feminine I think there is a great pressure to conform from other CD's

I allways wear thick tights if I dress when going out and long sleeved tops and dresses, not because I always want to but just to stop the snide remarks I'd get from other CD's upon seeing my body hair.

Sometimes I am feeling feminine and want to dress upto the nines, other times I just want to wear a dress especially if the weathers hot and sometimes it does feel like swapping one conformity for another.

[BlueKat]

Yes, you can be a man in a skirt, and you will probably get better acceptance by being unabashedly a man than you will by trying to make people think you are a woman.
Sure, you can be a dude wearing a skirt. There aren't any laws against it.
You might be lucky enough to go about your business, and have people say nothing to you.
Or...someday you might run into some rednecks who decide to give you a severe @$$ beating just for the fun of it.
Are you ready to deal with that scenario if it should happen?:straightface:

[lady lycra]

This is my first post here in a VERY long time.

Very often I dress and have 4 or 5 days beard growth, so obviously don't look feminine.

Some days I want to feel like a girl. I want the fresh showered feel, with perfume, hairspray, lippy, etc etc.

Some days I just like te feel of the clothing.

I have shaved my legs on a few occasions and it felt great, especially the first time. They haven't been shaved for many months now. Things went wrong with my wife... She took to accepting my crossdressing and then done a 180 on me a short while later.

Sometimes I get dressed for the sexual thrill, sometimes it's to relieve stress, others it just because a skirt is just so much more comfortable than jeans.

I often wear panties just because they feel great. Somehow, wearing satin panties is just right. It can be a sexual feeling, but more often than not it's just right.

Do what you do and enjoy yourself. There aren't any rules.

Linda

[KimberlyS]

I can very much so relate to being a guy in a skirt type here. And I think this can be done now in todays society if you are working for the right company and you and your family are ready to be out in the public eye and get some grief over it. And you will also need to think and play things safe in what you do and where you go. And a key to this, IMHO, is to present a consistant image i.e. either present a feminine male image or a female image, but do not go back and forth. I personally given a choice and accepting society environment, I would not wear a wig and little to no makeup, thus always presenting my male self, but would wear a mix of feminine and masculine clothes depending on the situation and my mood.

As for me and my situation. We live in a small conservative town, and me coming out here would not be good as for the grief my spouse and kids would get. And I would not want to put them through that. If it was just me I maybe would be out as a guy who wears skirts. But part of being married and in a relationship is making some compromises. My wife has made some in helping me with my cding, and I need to make some and keep them safe and not try to out myself. This is our agreement, and she can and has given me a verabal slapping when I go beyond this. So until such time as I can leave my house in a skirt, blouse, work boots and a 2 day beard and go to the hardware store and not be the talk of the town before I return; I will present a male or female image that this town can accept.

So to everyone who are out and about as guys in skirts I will cheer you on from the background.

KimberlyS - CD

[bobby_hansen]

... And a key to this, IMHO, is to present a consistant image i.e. either present a feminine male image or a female image, but do not go back and forth. ...

But I think that's not quite what USNguyNskirt is talking about here. I think he's talking about presenting as a manly man, but who is wearing a skirt. I think ideally, it would be to wear skirts made for men, not flowery printed skirts or anything. At least that's what I think USNguyNskirt is talking about. I don't think his idea is to present as a female or even a feminine male.

[KimberlyS]

Bobby, I stand corrected in how I worded it. And I will restate it as:
the key being to present a consistant image such as the following examples:
- a feminine male image, male in feminine clothes but looks like a guy. Girly guy look.
- a female outward image, male in feminine clothes looking like a female.
- a manly man who wears manly versions of 'female' clothes.
- a man who wears female clothes, yet presents a stong male self.
- or any other situation you can think of.

What ever the image is, to be consistant and not go back and forth between different images.

Sorry for the confussion as the consistant image is what I wanted to get out.

KimberlyS - CD