i will never come out

[prettieboy]

it started 30 years ago. ihave not told anyone nor will i ever. i dress up but nowhere to go. its been close on a few ocasions on being caught but never have

[Michelle2008]

Hello,

Everyone here is at different stages in their crossdressing and have different comfort levels. Do whatever makes you happy. But one question...if you had a place to go when you get all dolled up...would you go? I was once like you...I thought I would never tell anyone and was happy for the time being but that soon changed. Maybe it will for you too. If not, its ok. Good luck!

Take Care,
Michelle

[Shelly Preston]

Never Say Never

You can not tell what the future holds.

The chances may be remote but so is winning the lottery.

[Nikki Dee]

it started 30 years ago. ihave not told anyone nor will i ever. i dress up but nowhere to go. its been close on a few ocasions on being caught but never have
Your life...Your choice love,...but never is a long time...just enjoy what you can have.
Nikki. x

[Win Der Mere]

I used to think that, but it sort of becomes a challenge !
As Shelly says : like winning the lottery..........., only cheaper !!

No wonder there are so many Scots and Yorkies around here.

Win

[Khriss]

hehehe..see ya in the "funny papers" hehehe...

[ronda]

like shelly said never say never say i don't want to or i am not going to not in this life time but never say never. when you say that it will happen and you will talk to someone and by the way when you do let other in to your life it feels so good to not have to hide your real self.:hugs: :love: :happy: :D

[MarinaTwelve200]

I think it all depends upun our "Attitude" towards CD and what it means to us.

In MY case I think of CD as a personal, PRIVATE activity. Just as taking a bath or "pleasuring myself". So I would no more go out dressed than I would go NAKED or jack off in public.

I also think that its simply just "good sense" not to go out in public dressed anyway, or let anyone know about it, as too many folks just wont understand, and it could hurt my reputation and relationships.

But primarily, its not FEAR of ridicule that keeps me "closeted" but only my sense of privacy and decorum. As a consequence I do not feel "deprived" of experience or a "NEED" to go out dressed, no more than I feel a need to go out "streaking" in the mall.

However, I do NOT look down on those who DO go out dressed. Despite my personal opinion that it is "unwise", I must admit it takes BRAVERY, and also that some CD people NEED to get out, they have a "drive" to do it. Perhaps they must "express who they are" or even "show off" a bit. Hey THATS cool too, but like I said, its one's attitude about CD that determines whether a person will go out dressed.

If you consider it a private activity, you will remain private about it. If you feel a need to expose to the world another side of yourself, you will likely go out---or have the urge to.

The down sides I see are Private CDers being pressured to go out (out of a sense of "obligation" or CD conformity) and Those who NEED to go out being stuck in the closet out of fear. Once we know if we are the going out (or not) types, we can learn to be comfortable with our decisions.

[Karren H]

it started 30 years ago. ihave not told anyone nor will i ever. i dress up but nowhere to go. its been close on a few ocasions on being caught but never have

Thought i'd never get caught or nerver tell anyone!!!! WRONG!! And it wasn't as bad as I had imagined.....I didn't die and no lawyers were involved!! hehehe

Love Karren

[ava_bruna]

What you want is up to you, when you do is up to you, but I feel we all need that little shove, that one person who will tell you like it is, the one who will make you feel it's ok to be what you want to be, I know, im at that point and I know I will veture out but in my time, only you know your time. best of luck, I cant waite. but will have to:(

[janelle]

OH DEAR, please open your eyes. I have & i built up my confidence & i now do as i please & what a life openning it is. Your life can be a 100x's better if you have faith in yourself. Give it a try dear.
:hugs: Janelle

[GG Vanya]

I think it all depends upun our "Attitude" towards CD and what it means to us.

In MY case I think of CD as a personal, PRIVATE activity. Just as taking a bath or "pleasuring myself". So I would no more go out dressed than I would go NAKED or jack off in public.

I also think that its simply just "good sense" not to go out in public dressed anyway, or let anyone know about it, as too many folks just wont understand, and it could hurt my reputation and relationships.

But primarily, its not FEAR of ridicule that keeps me "closeted" but only my sense of privacy and decorum. As a consequence I do not feel "deprived" of experience or a "NEED" to go out dressed, no more than I feel a need to go out "streaking" in the mall.

However, I do NOT look down on those who DO go out dressed. Despite my personal opinion that it is "unwise", I must admit it takes BRAVERY, and also that some CD people NEED to get out, they have a "drive" to do it. Perhaps they must "express who they are" or even "show off" a bit. Hey THATS cool too, but like I said, its one's attitude about CD that determines whether a person will go out dressed.

If you consider it a private activity, you will remain private about it. If you feel a need to expose to the world another side of yourself, you will likely go out---or have the urge to.

The down sides I see are Private CDers being pressured to go out (out of a sense of "obligation" or CD conformity) and Those who NEED to go out being stuck in the closet out of fear. Once we know if we are the going out (or not) types, we can learn to be comfortable with our decisions.

Amen Sister!

Someone FINALLY said what I've been feeling. And it was said by a CD!

The sometimes not so subtle posts urging CD's to get OUT puts me on edge. Some CDs, my husband included, are very happy just being themselves in the privacy and intimacy of our home.

Yes, Trudi did the out and about thing for a while, and was even on the board of a very well organized and very well known support group in FL. It's just MY feeling that once she reached that place of comfort and validation in who she is, withIN herself, she no longer needed those activities.

Trudi once told me that the most wonderful part of when she is dressed, is the chance and ability to just BE.

For those of you who wish to be the "preacher" I say preach on! But don't condemn those who wish to simply be a laymember or a face in the congregation.

[Francine]

almost 40 years ago here.
I I have gotten caught a few times.
Once by my mother (glad it was her.. dad would of killed me!)
by my wife, and yes, had to come clean to her.
she told her mother, I am sure.
I think my mother told my sister, (sister had to know where her gray dress went, but my sister and I are still talking)
I think a few of my kids know. I think wife told them when they 'discovered things'.
Almost got caught by one of my daughters when my profile pic was taken. (whew! :rolleyes: )

If anything, I've been lucky.

Francine

[tekla west]

I'm rocking down with Shelly on this one. Never say never. Life is too weird, too strange, too unexpected to "Never" anything.

It sure does not affect my reputation, because the only reputation I have is a bad one. I share this with Ms. Joan Jett. Besides, I don't really care what anyone says about me, or thinks about me as long as they spell my name right.

But, you are not in a minority there by any means. I think most stay home. But I think most people stay home period. CD or not. But some of us, well the night life ain't a good life, but its my life, as the singer said. And I love it. Always have. I live in an apartment so small you literally can not swing a dead cat in it (or a live one) and people opine that I should get a bigger one. But hey, I'm never there. Its a closet, bed and shower. Pretty much all I need because I'm out doing something or another at least 6 nights a week. And no, its not always CD. I work nights (in a nightclub, it makes some sense) and I go out dancing at least once a week for the exercise, Or I just go walking. Matter of fact, my favorite CD activity is to stroll the Embarcadaro to the Promenade and out to the Golden Gate Bridge and back. And along the way there are coffee shops and adult beverage stations (bars) so if I get thirsty, or just want to sit, I have that option too.

After doing the stay at home parent deal for 15 years in rural Iowa, I can't get out enough. But I'm a public person by nature. I work in large crowd settings, live in the middle of a cosmopolitan city, I'm involved with political stuff, and I lecture from time to time. All of which is very public. So I'm at my best in public. That and I don't watch TV, haven't for a couple of decades now. Amazing how much time that gives me.

[tekla west]

I don't want to preach anything. I loath preaching, and detest preachers. I just tell my stories. Kind of like AA, but with panties and better chairs. And we don't meet at a church.

I try to give encouragement when people seem to be asking for it. But I don't tell anyone they "have to." I don't even tell them they should. I tell them how much I enjoy it, and what I've got out of it - good and bad.

Often when I'm doing my academic thing the theatre thing comes up and someone will say "I don't go to concerts much anymore." I work real hard at reassuring them that the shows sell out just fine without them buying tickets, and people are still having a good time even if they are not there.

So anyone who wants to finish life at home in thier spare time is more than welcome to do so. They have my permission and my blessing. I suppose the Operh is taping that show for someone, and it sure ain't me.

Besides the weather is fine, the cafe down the street makes better coffee than I do - no mean feat. The bakerys are open, the sourdough is fresh, my tan is coming along nicely. As always on a nice Sunday, Washington Square is packed - hippies playing hacky-sack, kids doing soccer, dogs out playing with each other, someone has some Dylan on a boombox, the church bells are ringing, the girls are wearing next to nothing and I don't have to be at work till 6. Life is good.

Lazin' on a sunny afternoon.

[carol ann]

There are many of us who can never come out because to do so would cause hurt to others and , in all probability, damage parts of our lives that we can enjoy only in our male personna.

There are nos solid rules in this game and you must so that which you are comfortable with. Don't let anyone preach to you

[GG Vanya]

If you'll pay attention to the thread title, it say "i will never COME out"...and in that context, he/she has the absolute right to say never...

There's always a chance of being caught, but that isn't "coming" out now is it?

[Calliope]

i dress up but nowhere to go.

A pity. Dressed en drab, I cannot comprehend shopping for, say, kitchen stuff but en fem I really enjoy myself. And, after, the home looks so much better after.

[prettieboy]

i should introduce myself im prettieboy. i enjoyed your reply. trust me im not sitting at home watching the world go bye. although at the moment im on this typewriting aparatus that is girly.im in my ****ty outfit now.

[tekla west]

One of the few good things I learned in Grad School is not to use words like "everyone" "all" "none" "never" "forever." They tend not to be true almost as soon as you say it.

And see, all of that assumes knowledge of the future. Things change, sometimes we do it, other times it just happens. But if I had knowledge of the future I would not be saying "Never", I'd be betting the farm on the fifth trifecta at some horse track.

Getting caught and having people talk about it is out, you may not be going out, but you are out just the same.

[GG Vanya]

Some of you may have missed the post by Marina Twelve. EXCELLENT post!

For some, this is a highly personal and private thing, some choose to never get "out and about", not out of fear of the repurcussions, but because it's PRIVATE.

A good example would be childbirth...the current trend is to have older siblings present during delivery,and all the while the hubby is busy with the camcorder or camera. While I applaud those who have the "open ness" to do this, I would have been absolutely HORRIFIED to have such a personal, emotional, PRIVATE time shared with anyone other than the father of my child.

Of course no one can see the future, but perception is reality for the "perceptioner". In this case, prettieboy's reality is that he/she will never "COME" out...and he/she has every right to it.

[gennee]

My wife is the only one in the family who knows about my crossdressing. None of my friends know. You know what's best for you.

Gennee

[KateW]

Fair enough if you have no need for validation from other people. Do whatever makes you happy!

[KateW]

"im in full on femme. it feels great.i want to go out in dress but only where noone knows me.i probably dress like a higher class hooker/*****. the problem is idont want some dude hitting on me although they have hit on me any way as male clothed."

Having just read your previous post, they seem a bit contradictory. Well, whatever floats your boat...

[Tommie Rae]

If you can stay in the closet, good luck. I told my wife many years ago and many times I wish I had just kept quiet. I never wanted to hurt her. She is OK now, but we had some rough times.

[Jennaie]

I do not understand the "pressure" issue. I feel zero pressure from anyone on this forum to do or not do anything I am uncomfortable with. When it comes to dressing, I do it my way. It's a personal thing to each of us.

Just because someone starts a thread about going out, passing, not passing, etc.. does not mean that it has anything to do with me or that it is something I should be doing just because I like to wear womens clothing.

Just be who you are and be happy with it. :happy: