a question for all the gurls

[cute_cd_paige]

My question is has anyone ever went to a club that was known for being gay and transgender friendly dressed up the first time? or did u check it out as a guy first? why im asking this is theres a club nearby in Johnson City TN called " New Beginnings " that is like that my wife and I are considering going but she suggested going as a guy the first time to check it out i guess i wouldnt have much fun if i ended up there and there be lots of TG's and CD's being accepted and haveing lots of fun and im there stuck in drab lol any adivce would be helpfull and if any of u have been there let me know what its like :happy:

[Calliope]

How about calling and asking the bartender what's the scoop? If s/he answers in the affirmative, go dressed to the nines and have a grand time.

[LindaTS]

Years ago when I first started going out I went to a gay bar that also had Female Impersonaters there. I went completely dressed the first time and was a bit nervous the whole time I was there because I was the only one who was dressed other than the preformers. I don't think it would have made any difference going there the first time as a guy or girl.

[michelle-h]

Hi Paige,

I did that very thing just last weekend. I attended my first social enfemme and folowing dinner we went to a club here in Chattanooga called Images. It was a bit scary at first, but once I had been there a while, I got more comfortable. This was the first time I have been out of the house dressed,and my first trip to Images, but I had a lot of fun. I do recommend going with someone else for you first visit, even if it is your SO. That way you will not be lonely if you are the only tgirl there. I was fortunate that we met a couple of other girls when I went, so I had several people to talk to. Just be safe and have a great time.

Michelle-H

[SherryLynn GG]

I do recommend going with someone else for you first visit, even if it is your SO.

Not sure what you mean by "even" if its your SO. But anyway I really do wanna go out with him dressed but I do have alot of friends that go to the club that do not know about his dressing so thats why I suggested he go as a guy first just so he can get the feel of the club and see what its like.

And I can guarantee that anytime he goes I will be there with him. Why would he wanna go without me?? :D

[USNguyNskirt]

Im completely straight and went to a Gay bar for my first time out. I called the bartender and he said "yeah people come in dressed all the time." I got there and was definitely the only one dressed, but I wasnt uncomfortable. Just beware they want your business so they may not tell you the truth. But if they say that, at least you know they wont mind you coming dressed. Also beware, gay clubs are jsut that. So if you are straight and going to one, especially dressed, dont be suprised if you get hit on by a guy........Long stroy for another time ;-) just my 0.02

[Billijo49504]

If you call, you might want to ask when CD'ers come in. Certain groups go uot on certain days or nights. And if they want your repeat business, they will tell you the truth...BJ

[Deidra Cowen]

The first few times I went to bars that had Tgirls at them I went as a guy. Just as you are thinking I wanted to be comfortable and kinda know whats was going on. I think it was the smart thing to do.

I now will go to a new bar as a fem but I do drive by first and/or look them up on the net. I like to know where I can park, if it looks safe, etc. Even though there is a fun world out there where we can go clubbing never forget to be careful! You having your wife with you will make it even more comfortable when you go out enfemme.

Good luck and have fun!

[tekla west]

Nothing wrong with what the military calls Force Recon. If it makes you more comfy, then check it out. And Diedra is right about the night. Sometime you might be the only one there, other times its packed.

Even then, I remember having all my ducks in a line and going to a place in the Twin Cities, I had researched it, checked it out, even talked to a sister about it. Still I got there and I was about as alone as a hippie on a dick cheney hunting trip. So I was talking to the bartender and asked. He told me that there was a huge benefit for the Imperial Court at some other place and he expected to see a bunch come in later, but was pretty sure it was packed over there. I tipped him well and went and checked it out, and sure enough there were enough gowns to have a Destiny's Child concert. And when I went back to the first place later in the night I made a point of thanking the bartender and tipping him again.

As for our sailor, well ... "I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!" I think, given that he is a 'guy in a skirt' and in the military, that increased the chances of being hit on, because he's still looking pretty macho. Got the nice regulation haircut, the military bearing and all that going on. For the most part - because there are no universal truths other than "one size never fits all" - Gay men are men who like men. The more manly you are, the better your odds.

There are the stereotype gay people. The super swish male, the Harley Sportster ridding dyke, but deeper into the gay culture there is almost the reverse of that. The lipstick lesbians, the leather boys and all that. Part of the allure of that aspect of the gay culture is that they do pretty much without the other. Lipstick lesbians live in a fem world. Its all fem, all the time, no boys allowed. After all, boys are so icky. Its all pink and sweet and nice & very clean.

The reverse is what I encounter when I go to the Eagle in SF. Its the oldest leather bar on the West Coast. You get to that corner and its all pick-up trucks and huge motorcycles. Inside, leather, levis and camo. Everyone has a boot-camp hair cut, and big stomper boots polished to a mirror finish. There are no comfy chairs, but the pool table is level on the level. Beer is served in mason jars, you just drop the peanut shells on the floor wherever you open them. No one every has to worry about raising or lowering the seat in the can. Its what "Man's World" without women looks and feels like. Football and boxing on the telly, classic metal (AC/DC, Sabbath) cranked up on the speakers, biker colors all over and enough old signs to start a city. There is a huge BBQ pit, and they are cooking red meat, not a smidgen of tofu or brie to be had. There are - and this place is real big - exactly two pictures of women in the entire place. Janis Joplin and Patty Smith - go figure. You can spit, swear and scratch your balls to your hearts content.

A good buddy of mine hangs out there, and every Sunday they have a beer bust for some charity or another. And I've been known to show up in little sundresses - nice pastel pinks and yellows. I walked in a few years ago and this HUGE burly guy with all the biker regalia on looks at me waltzing in and says in a voice so deep it sounded like an earthquake (and yes, not without a hint of sarcasm in it either) "Nice dress sister!" And I twirl around and say "Nice chaps, but they forgot the ass, ain't it cold like that?" The two guys at the bar almost put their beer through their noise they were laughing so much. So I'm out with my buddy puffing on the deck (medicinal use only of course) and mister biker dude comes up and says "sorry, I didn't mean to offend you" and I assured him I took no offense, we introduced ourselves to each other, and I introduced my friend, and offered him the pipe and he wound up going home with my pal.

Now, its become our running joke when we see each other. "Nice dress sister." Turns out that he is a CPA and now he does my taxes. Not a bad pool player either - but not good enough! (I only have three material possessions I value, my iBook, my guitar and my custom Schmelke pool cue - I'm wicked good with it.)

So, sure, its nice to be in a comfort zone, in the beginning for sure, but you can expand it and feel comfortable almost anywhere. I can feel great at the Eagle (and I NEVER get hit on there, I'm the LAST person they want to take home - opps, that's wrong, I big diesel dyke hit on me once, so there!).

Rick: And remember, this gun is pointed right at your heart.
Captain Renault: That is my least vulnerable spot.

[Han]

I have been to a few places, but never dressed on Femme, but in various other outfits and kinks. Me and my SO attend. It is unfortunatly a little expensive for a student :( Plenty of CD'ers in these places though and once you get there you just chill out.

Except the first time I went to a fetish club, the only person that was in anyway rude or out of order was a CD'er. Came on to me, and stalked me for an entire evening.

I am glad I went back though. Next time I will be going enfemme :D

[Sky]

My question is has anyone ever went to a club that was known for being gay and transgender friendly dressed up the first time? or did u check it out as a guy first?

When I started thinking of going out in drag I visited the clubs in drab first, check the cds, see what they did and how were they treated. Once I was reasonably comfortable, I convinced a friend to escort me -it took plenty of time and the help of an awesome pro makeup artist...- and went in drag. Still had lots of butterflies but I survived, and the next time was so much easier.

[GG Vanya]

Not sure what you mean by "even" if its your SO. But anyway I really do wanna go out with him dressed but I do have alot of friends that go to the club that do not know about his dressing so thats why I suggested he go as a guy first just so he can get the feel of the club and see what its like.

And I can guarantee that anytime he goes I will be there with him. Why would he wanna go without me?? :D


Ouch! SherryLynn I immediately picked up on that *even* too! I would think one's *preference* would be the person they share love and life with!

[Wenda]

I think it is easier to adapt if you are en drab than en femme. I have gone to new places with subtle femme things, nail polish, lipstick, some makeup, stockings under my pants if there is an opportunity to show some leg. Better safe than sorry, and there are still some really mean people out there who could be dangerous. Evaluate the downside: If I go en drab, and everyone is really dressed, what is the worst that can happen? I might get some great make-up tips? What is the worst that can hapen if I go dressed to the nines, and the place is red-neck straight?: let's not go there.

[evol]

Ok, first club I went to, the website was horribly missleading. Luckily I went as a guy first. However, I went the following week, on a designated cd night, and was the only one dressed as such, but probably had the best night out I could've possibly had!!!! The second time I felt so good I just went for it, and went that much further. My g\f took me to dinner (in the gay part of town) first and then on to the club! I say do it! You only live once. What's the worst that can happen? Oh yeah, with that in mind, carry mace. You never know, you may actually have to beat the guys off with a stick. Let me know how that goes.

[racquel]

I vote for going in drab the first time,mostly because your wife wants you to and your #1 reason for existing should be to please her.
So what if there are others dressed when you go,treat them the way you would want to be treated by a handsome man in a bar with a pretty gurl,and have fun.:D

[Joy Carter]

Be safe not sorry just who will help or even be a witness at a bar full of morons.:Punch:

[Anita Mae GG]

Danielle and I went to a gay bar the first time in drab. We wanted to do it that way to check it out. We intend on going back whith her enfemme sometime soon. We felt more comfortable doing it this way.

[Kate Simmons]

I remember it well. It was two years ago, July 4th weekend. I went to the gay club I go to every weekend for the first time. I went as Victoria (who I was then) the first night and no one batted an eyelash. I went as Victoria the second night, same thing. I decided to go as Richard the third night and people (especially the guys) noticed. I was okay with it but they seemed to prefer me as Rich (gee, go figure, gay club, duh!). No one tried to pick me up or anything though. In the last two years, everyone has come to accept me as Ericka and sometimes Richard. They know I do not classify myself however and are cool with it. I was kind of bold going alone the first time but would suggest if you check out a place either in drag or drab, it's best to have someone with you. That way there are no "surprises"(such as someone trying to pick you up) and no misunderstandings and it's generally assumed you are there with the other person. I still mostly go alone as Ericka but always feel a little more confident wearing my wedding band set. Some of the "bolder" guys talk with me but I can handle them okay. Ericka