Up on my soapbox

[bredalee25]

If there's one thing that makes me really angry it's the fact that people look at me funny if i'm bra shopping in drab. I mean they look at you like OMG he's touching the bras he's a perv or weird. People don't think oh isn't he sweet he's picking up a bra for his wife.
Now on the other hand my gf can walk into the mens underwear dept and pick up a pack of breifs for me and nobody bats an eyelash about it. Society teaches us that cetain things are just natural and other things aren't like a guy looking at bras isn't but a girl looking at mens undrwear is. Why can't people just mind their own buisiness and let others shop in piece.
Things like this make me wonder if people will ever change their way of thinking and accept CD's in mainsteam america. It made me want to look at them and say it's for me to wear and to bad if you don't like it. But as I always do i just left the section and didn't buy it.

So what do you girls think? BTW thanks for letting me vent.

ttfn

[SherryLynn GG]

Maybe try going shopping for a bra and ignoring everyone around you....If you ignore them then you wont even know if anybody is looking at you, because dont you have to be paying really close attention to everyone around you to notice them looking at you?? Just look at the bras, who cares about the other people there0.02

Maybe they are thinking "look at that poor guy, his wife/gf is making him shop for bras" lol

[Kate Simmons]

On the other hand Bren, did you ever think maybe that the old geezer watching you is a closet CD and is just trying to see what kind of tastes you have in lingerie? I turn it around in my mind and question why they are watching me as WE are not the only "pervs" out there ya know! Ericka:happy:

[serinalynn]

Maybe try going shopping for a bra and ignoring everyone around you....If you ignore them then you wont even know if anybody is looking at you, because dont you have to be paying really close attention to everyone around you to notice them looking at you?? Just look at the bras, who cares about the other people there.

I love hanging out in the lingerie section of department and womens specality stores. I just love touching and feeling all the lingerie even if I do not plan to buy in that store. I feel everything I buy and often times try an item on before I buy it.

[GG Vanya]

Bren,

Maybe it's just your perception that everyone is looking at you like you're a perv. Honestly, I see men shopping in the lingerie department all the time around here, and I don't notice anyone oggling them.

As SherryLynn said, just keep to the task at hand, and you won't notice whether or not anyone is paying attention to you.

Somtimes our imagination is our worst enemy.

[Charleen]

Hi Bren, I was in Wally World tonite browsing, looking at bras, hose, nighties, (got one on sale for $7.00 ), what have you, and yrah I knoew I was getting a look or 2. Know what? I didn't know any of them and the chances of seeing them again is slim, so I didn't let it bother me. Let thm think what they please. I got shopping to do!!!! Love and xxxx. Lily

[Karren H]

The check-out girls at Kohl's think it's great that my wife let's me buy her sooooo many nice things!!! hehehe So not every one is like that!

Love Karren

[tekla west]

nah, the one thing that makes me mad are the jerks who keep telling me that even though the election was about as straight as Elton John I should "Get Over It." Besides when I'm in VS, or Ross (Crossdress for Less) I don't see anyone who cares.

Save your anger for things that matter.

[SultrySara]

I have finally been able to muster up the courage to go shopping since the last year, I still get nervous if I actually stop and think about it too much but then I remember I am just a victim of my own paranoia. We never know what other people are thinking when they look at us we just naturally assume the worst because that is human nature when we think we are dong "wrong". I finally got the chance to go shopping far enough out of town where I KNEW nobody would know me and that really helped my nerves all though I could hardly keep the excitement at bay. I went shopping in Goodies and Target and walked all around the womens sections in a manner I never had the courage to do before and it was awesome! people really don't pay as much attention to us as we think, they won't even remember seeing us the next day most likely so just remember that and it really does help. Goodwill is always a good place to go because of the vast selection and also that fact that it takes more attention to find what you want meaning people are even less likely to notice you, must less pay attention to you.

[HaleyPink2000]

0.02 Your in what I call the early times of desensitization. The more you see or do something it becomes common place. Dress shopping, and trying on dresses in the store while I had gone there in drab, was a big step to take for me. But I did it, and now it’s common place for me to try on things in the stores. Oh, my Gawd, every body is watching what’s in my cart!:heehee: You know what? They are not. If they are so what! None of their business what I do is it? So if some one stares just ignore it. That’s best! Act as if this is an every day thing for you, and things will be fine.:D

:happy: I had a security guard friend of mine that works for WalMart “ a M2F CD” tell me She did talk to a young man at work. They were in the store one morning about 1am. This person was on the way out of the women’s area. She told the young male to just relax, and act normal “ Chilllll” is the word She used. :D Said to the young man, it would make shopping much more fun. I guess He was like looking all around, and being real freaked about being in the women’s area of the store. Had picked up a couple skirts to look at, and put them back dropping one on the floor, and leaving it there. Most likely because he thought someone was looking. They had a nice talk and then the Guard even told the young man about the local TriEss meeting. They shook hands and everything was fine.:hugs:

Just learn to do one thing while shopping, ignore everybody around you. I do that even when shopping for anything else. Graze the store like the GGs do. Take your time and look at even the thread, and stitching like they do. Women shop slowly and choose the best buy for the money. Not just the pretty things, but comfortable things that are pretty.
I’m still learning myself and write down what I spend on clothing so I don’t over spend each month. :rolleyes: I make my buying last several days sometimes so I don’t buy things on a spur of the moment.:D

[tekla west]

That is so good Sara, I'm very glad for you.

[Denise01]

If you had told me that 2 years ago, and yet a year ago, I would be comfortable going into a ladies store , or ladies department of say Sears, Zellars, or Wal-mart, and buying things like panty hose bra's, skirts or dresses I would have said no way.

Just this week i was in a quality ladies store that i go to often, usually femme, but for reasons, this time in town I had to go in drab.

When i got into the store, as always the sales girl acknowledged me, and asked if she could help.
At that time I was just browsing, but in a bit, i found a dress and matching skirt and top, that i was looking at.

She noticed I was looking at the sale items, and holding them in front of me to see how the length was. She came over again asked if she could help. Must have realized they were for me, so she asked if i would like to try them on. In the interm she also found another dress on the sale rack my size, which i also tried on.
I ended up with 2 dresses and a matching top and skirt.

It felt so nice to be treated as a lady, even though in drab, but more important was she was totally accepting of TG people in the store, and it made no difference to her that i really wanted to try them on.

At no time did i feel that I was being stared at, just being treated like any other customer.

Denise

[Stephenie S]

OK Brenda, Sherrylynn said it right. You need to be paying attention to the bras and not the people around you. If you are noticing the people around you, you are not paying enough attention to your shopping.
People pick up on nervousness. It will be obvious to others if you are doing this.

Think about how you shop for a wrench in the tool department. Are you looking around to see if others aprove of what you are doing? Of course not! And if they are, it's none of their business what kind of wrench you are buying is it? So you don't worry about it. AND, bottom line, you don't care, do you?

So apply the same idea to bra shopping. SHOP for goodness sake. Don't watch the other people there, look at the bras. OMG there are sooo many of them. I want to look at them ALL. (shut UP, Stephenie). And as others have said, this gets much easier the more you do it. After a while you will be able to ask the SA for advice and often have a nice chat with them. Almost every SA I have talked to has told me there are other men who come in shopping for themselves. They have seen it all. After all, that's all they do all day.

OK, this is probably enough said. This shopping business is a lot of fun, but you have to relax a bit.

Lovies,
Stephenie