Ups and downs and confusion

[dann]

I could really use some advice from those who were married for several years and then came out, and whose wives had reached whatever level of acceptance.
I'd have to say that my wife is accepting to the point that she's known about it for the past 2 years and hasn't dumped me...yet. How does one handle the ups and downs. Some days she's just miserable about it, other days, we can sit and talk about it and opennely. On those occassions she asks alot of questions, and truley seems to find it interesting as well as amusing.It's even gone as far as her telling me to go through her wardrobe and show her what clothes I'd like to have as my own. After which she gave me a shirt and a skirt. But on the bad days, it's just horrible for her. i don't know what to say or do. And usually the next morning after a really good day I'll feel incredibly happy, but also guilty and fear that she may be regreting what she had done or talked about the day before as far as showing her acceptance.
I'm taking it very slowly. I came out to her years ago, then at one point purged and tried to push it away becuase it was upsetting her so much. Then about 2 months ago, I found myself in deep depression over the fact that (once again) I couldn't scrape the urge from my mind. I basically came out to her again. Telling her that even though I hadn't dressed in over a year, I can't honestly tell her I never will again. And telling her that I have finally accepted it as a permanant part of who I am.
Help!



dann

[jennig]

Hi I feel for you I have found the same things in both my marriage and now being single I have come to the conclusion that most gg not all find crossdressing on the serfice to be somewhat a turn on and then theay think about it and it becomes a threat to them. and after all you can never understand a woman maby that yhy i want to be one!
huggs jennig:happy:

[lostmyhubby GG]

Let me just say i give you a great deal of credit for taking into consideration your wifes feelings about this issue....continue on slowly in small doses..there are alot of fears us GG's have or not particularily fears but questions i guess, its not something readily understood for us women.
Encourage her to read here and ask questions we will all help her through, i too have my ups and downs about my husbands dressing, but for the most part i am ok with it and just want him to be happy, after all he/when he is she is still the same person i feel in love with in the first place.
good luck to you both and welcome, invite her to join us here it will help her alot.
Diane lostmyhubby gg

[Karren H]

Welcome to the club!!! After my wife found out almost a year ago, we have been though the same cycle of kind of accepting it to days where she was really upset over my dressing. She's the one that told me that I couldn't quit if I wanted to and she was right of coarse......Her main fear is and always will be that the children and friends would find out and that she and the kids would be embarased and ostrasized in the comunity. All valid fears in todays society, right or wrong!!! So over time she pretty much decided as long as I keep it out of her face, then she's happy. And when she's happy, then I'm happy!! So I don't dress much around the house any more, mainly on business trips or afternoons out shopping enfemme. (yeah, or in the mens room at work over lunch!! hehehe) And although it's not optimal, it's working and that's what counts.. Finding a happy medium where you both can coexist and be happy together....

Love Karren

[KateW]

My wife is supporting, but she too has days when she doesn't like it. I try to balance it by not dressing ALL the time, so that she still spend time with me in male-mode. She has never been fond of makeup though, so I try to restrict this (or keep it light) until after she has gone to bed. Even when dressed, she likes to be able to talk to my male face. I feel this is a fair compromise and minimises any problems. Find out what your partner does and doesn't mind, and let her see that you want to find her comfort level too.

I hope this helps, and good luck!

Kate xxx

[Joanna0909a]

Karren is right, Welcome to the club. For many years my wife refused to accept that I was not a "100% manly man". But last year after finally confessing that I had accepted this part of me and that by rejecting it the only thing I really accomplished was making myself less than whole and unhappy. At that point she accepted it, but deemmed the discussion closed. So that is where it has stayed. She knows I do but it is not supported or discussed.

Thus, I look for the balance and dress when it is safe. I do not get out often but when I do I have fun!

Karren - I wish I could dress when on business trips - but I always have too many co-workers around!

Joanna