A Pagan asking for help from a cd...LOL

[sandys place]

Hey Folks..........
I am a gg and in love with a cd. I have been stumbling around the net looking for some good information. I have not found what I wanted UNTIL now !! Last night I posted a question and was told several times that I needed to post my question here, so PLEASE, any help you can give me would be a gift.
With out boring you..........my question is this..........
Is it possible to have a some what normal sex life ?? Up till now, we have not had intercourse and I am feeling as though its my fault. I am ok with his cd and we talk about it alot. Maybe even a little too much. So the communcation is great. We play and he can satastify me with toys. However, I have yet been able to do the same for him. We are both getting stressed out over this and I have had to take a break from seeing him. I need to know if I am doing something wrong. Do any of you have the same type of problem ?? Thanks for listening........Sandy

[SherryLynn GG]

Hey Folks..........
I am a gg and in love with a cd. I have been stumbling around the net looking for some good information. I have not found what I wanted UNTIL now !! Last night I posted a question and was told several times that I needed to post my question here, so PLEASE, any help you can give me would be a gift.
With out boring you..........my question is this..........
Is it possible to have a some what normal sex life ?? Up till now, we have not had intercourse and I am feeling as though its my fault. I am ok with his cd and we talk about it alot. Maybe even a little too much. So the communcation is great. We play and he can satastify me with toys. However, I have yet been able to do the same for him. We are both getting stressed out over this and I have had to take a break from seeing him. I need to know if I am doing something wrong. Do any of you have the same type of problem ?? Thanks for listening........Sandy

Ok I dont wanna get too personal here, but is he not able to perform sexually?? or what exactly havent you been able to do for him??

Im not sure what kinda normal sex life youre looking for. I mean if he's dressed while you guys are having sex well youve already left what most would call "normal".

As far as me and my hubby we've never had any problems satisfying each other whether he's dressed or not. So maybe thats why im having trouble understanding what youre not able to do. Sorry

[loki_uk]

Perhaps you're putting too much pressure on him, he's still a bloke and keeping your distance isn't going to do much for his self esteem

Without knowing much, have you tried going on top at the very least it would take a lot of the performance pressure off

[Julie York]

Given that I don't know who he is or what the situation is etc......but hey that's not going to stop me!!

Some guys have a low sex drive. Some have a low level of self confidence. Forget the Cd stuff. It is being 'afraid' that's the problem. It is fear of failure etc. Don't get the CD stuff mixed up with very normal sexual disfunction caused by nerves or anxiety or lack of confidence. You could dress as his utmost fantasy and not get a flicker if he is nervous. It's about trust and not being afraid to just relax and enjoy. And all the above comes from talking to each other.





:D

That'll be £50 thank you.

[sandys place]

You made me smile..thanks !! It was worth the 50

[Maria2004]

I've been married 22 years, but my wife has only known for 2 years, and I myself have only figured out I was CD less then 3 years ago. When I was in the closet, our relationship was deteriorating, I used to imagine that making love while dressed would be a turn on. After I came out to my wife, I was completely forthcoming with everything and mentioned it, so she let me give it a go and I quickly found it to be a turn "off", not like I had imagined at all.

Some of the times that I feel most frisky now is "after" a good outing dressed up, I'm cleaned up, back in guy mode, all my stuff lovingly put away until next time, feeling happy and satisfied and ready play....and my wife knows it too :winking:

That's how it works for my wife and I, but I have seen other posts where it's the opposite where making love while dressed had dramatically improved another couples sex life.

[Dragster]

Sandy, there's way too little information here for an analysis of your problem, and it would not be appropriate to ask all the questions in this forum, even if I knew how to advise you! I'm no expert.
I don't believe that being a CDer affects your boyfriend's ability to find "satisfaction" from your sexual activity. If he cannot maintain an erection, or achieve an orgasm from masturbation (can he?), he may have a medical problem, and he should see his doctor to have this checked out. It may seem embarassing to do this, but it is not an uncommon condition, and is curable.
If he can maintain an erection, it should be possible for him to reach a climax within your vagina, or by you using your hands, or your mouth and tongue. Use a lubricant if you use your hands, or if your vagina is dry; it certainly works for me, and don't put pressure on yourselves for it to work every time. Enjoy the stimulation on its own, even if it doesn't come to a conclusion, and maybe take a "cuddle" break for a few minutes before continuing. It doesn't always work for me either, and I've also found that putting on an item of female clothing can sometimes revive a flagging erection long enough to reach orgasm, but it doesn't work for everyone. However, I think you two need to concentrate on your sexual relationship, and discover what activities you enjoy together first, before bringing CDing into the bedroom. You seem to be communicating well anyway, so he should be able to tell you when you are doing something that's especially nice.

I hope that helps you a little, and good luck.
Tony

[Rachel Morley]

Given that I don't know who he is or what the situation is etc......but hey that's not going to stop me!!

Some guys have a low sex drive. Some have a low level of self confidence. Forget the Cd stuff. It is being 'afraid' that's the problem. It is fear of failure etc. Don't get the CD stuff mixed up with very normal sexual disfunction caused by nerves or anxiety or lack of confidence. You could dress as his utmost fantasy and not get a flicker if he is nervous. It's about trust and not being afraid to just relax and enjoy. And all the above comes from talking to each other.
Absolutely! For a lot of people the cding part adds to the fun but only if you're confident in yourself to begin with. Drop the cding and just have fun naked together, then after his confidence grows slowly add the odd item of lingerie for both of you to wear.

Good luck.

[Kate Simmons]

It's not you, Sandy. The dynamics of being a CD are tricky sometimes. I find it hard to get in the mood for physical sex sometimes. As Ericka, I want to be romanced and appreciated like any woman. It may take a while for me to get going. Once I do, however, like any woman, I'm just getting started while my partner wants to go to sleep. Oh well, comes with the "territory", I guess. Take care, Ericka

[bgirl]

I wish I had an answer for you. I can see your need for information and I feel great empathy for you. I believe you have come to the right place. We all reach these difficult places. Thank God there are so many Pagens around to hold our hands in the difficult moments.

[nishababe]

We are all different so I dont think that you will ever get a set answer to this question !!
I have made love to about 100 women and get aroused very easily if I lust after a woman .I even get hugely aroused talking on the phone to a girlfriend if the feelings are very strong !! As I have said often we are all different ,nobody the same .And yet sometimes if dressed as a woman I can fantisise about making love as a woman if I had all the correct female parts ,as many others have said many times before on this site .Normally a man cannot make love to a woman regardless of being c/d ,for some of the he folllowing reasons ,
1.. he may be temporary or permantly impotent.
2.. he may like her company but not want a sexual relationship with her .
3..Sex is all in the mind and if he has other worrys ,work for instant they can affect his performance .
Best thing is to try and talk it through with him to see what the reasons are ,he might be able to tell you if you ask him in an easygoing manner .

Best of Luck Nishababe xx:love:

[nishababe]

Following up to my previous post ,perhaps he has never had a full sexual relationship with a woman and needs help to learn and get confident.I used to worry as a teenager about all aspects of it all starting with how to kiss properly !! I did not make love to a woman till my mid twenties but soon became a fast learner !! Try starting by lots of kissing and teaching him foreplay . Perhaps the sexual side will never be what you want with him but if you want the relationship to work you can only but both try your best !!

Love Nishababe xx:love: