Why after dressing...

[heathr1]

when all Ido is put lipstick and a mini on, do I feel so guilty?

I'm single, so not hiding it from a partner.

[dann]

I use to feel that way about dressing. I took alot of time with therapist to figure out the source of the guilt. I found I felt guilty becuase of the way society views cross dressing, and how hard of a situation my cross dressing would be for my wife. I learned to let go and learn not to feel guilty for the way I am. Although I do still live with the guilt of living in the closet and springing it on my wife after being together for 13 years. It's more guilt over that mistake. Not guilt over loving to crossdress.
Hope that helps.

[Wendy me]

Heather could it be that your hiding it from your selfe????????????

[Karren H]

Well, society says your not supposed to be doing that!!! Bad Bad Girl!!! Go to your room!!! hehehe Guess we have all gone through that....but once you get over feeling guilty, and you will....just takes some time.....It's a wonderful feeling....before, during and after you dress!!!

Love Karren

[Wenda]

Feelings of guilt are natural. As a member of society, if we don't feel some twinge when we do something outside the 'norm', we could consider ourselves sociopathic. As we do it more frequently, find friends such as those in this forum, and come to re-calibrate our own sense of normal, and come to accept it without guilt or regret. I have caught myself wandering dangerously close to open discussion about dressing with people who don't dress and don't know I do. The flip side of guilt is that you can become too casual in situations where it might be wise to be more discrete. You will find lots of support here. Best wishes in your search to become totally comfortable with yourself. :thumbsup:

[ChantelleCD]

Its true, society says its wrong & due to society drilling it into my head at such a young age, thats the only reason why i feel guilty about when a CD. One thing i find interesting is when im in a testosterone built frame of mind (doing man stuff) if i was to see a crossdresser in town who was clearly male I would look down upon them :confused: DAME SOCIETY!! Thats something about my psychology i need to fix!

[Marla S]

when all Ido is put lipstick and a mini on, do I feel so guilty?

I'm single, so not hiding it from a partner.

1.) You grew up in a society having certain standards and restrictions for the genders, you learned how the society treats people that are different than the norm, you learned that everything somehow related to sexuality and gender is the worst to deviate or even to mention.

2.) You feel good, relaxed, and maybe being yourself when you express your feminine aspects with clothes and makeup.

Both aspects are contradictory but live within the same person, fight each other, and produce guilt and shame.

As the societies standards are artificial, but you are natural, you should try to make yourself aware that these artificial gender standards are the cause for your guilt feelings. Though you might not be able to change the society you will be able to arrange with the standards without denying yourself. The guilt feelings will diminish.

[Lauren B]

To add to what has been said already (all true stuff IMO), society definitely values the masculine and degrades the feminine. Men who are "all man", whatever that is, always get praise, pats on the back, promotions, the pretty girls, looked up to, and all that good stuff, whereas men who show any sort of femininity are viewed as weak, sissy, and worse. It's really like getting the message that by having any bit of feminine in you, you are somehow "failing" at being a man.

Then, you start to wonder, "Oh my God- what would people think if they every knew this about me?" You feel as if you would be letting people down because everyone KNOWS how shameful it is to be associated with "one of those people". You start taking all of your family's, friends', and society's arbitrary rules about gender and applying them to yourself, and it makes you feel guilty.

My $.02...

Danielle

[Melanie R]

when all Ido is put lipstick and a mini on, do I feel so guilty?

I'm single, so not hiding it from a partner.

You as many of us have experienced in our lives have felt guilt when we expressed the inner feeling of femininity through crossdressing. We feel guilty because society demands that boys remain in the blue box and girls in the pink box. If we want to be in the pink box, many in society consider this deviant behaviour.

You were born with the need to express your feminininity. This is not a lifestyle choice for the majoirty in our transgender community. Enjoy your femininity and the external expression you find through the clothing.

Hugs,

Melanie

[Mellisa S.]

I also get the feelings of guilt. I get them not only after I dress, but during the day when I think about dressing and even while I am shopping. Sometimes, I think that it is because I feel that my crossdressing is wrong. When this happens, I try to look for reasons on why I think it is wrong. When I cannot find any reasons for it being wrong the guilt seems to go away for a little while. I'm not saying that is the be all, end all cure for the guilt, but give it a try. If there is no reason for it being wrong, is it wrong?

[Dee 1062]

We all have been their...,it will pass, a little guilt is good...Dress all the way, get out of the house and wow before you know it...You'll feel so great....

[MarinaTwelve200]

Your BRAIN is telling you that you shouldnt DO that. And the feeling of guilt goes along with it.

Some emotions are automatic responses to violating "brain bariers"---there are no "deep meanings" there, only the automatically induced sensation by the brain when one of its "barriers" is crossed.

Indeed the RUSH we feel in a fight or high risk situation or when some of us cross identity lines when we CD is a result of that function---and is the reason many of us CD to begin with,

I suspect that the "guilt" is a milder form of a similar reaction.

Nothing to worry about---it means nothing morally or socially, only a cause and effect reaction in the brain.

[Maria2004]

Some emotions are automatic responses to violating "brain bariers"---there are no "deep meanings" there, only the automatically induced sensation by the brain when one of its "barriers" is crossed.

Indeed the RUSH we feel in a fight or high risk situation or when some of us cross identity lines when we CD is a result of that function---and is the reason many of us CD to begin with,



I think you may have answered my ultimate question, "why?" Thanks Marina.

Sincerely

Maria Andres

[Kate Simmons]

We have it drummed into us from the cradle that we have to be "men". "Manly" men don't wear women's clothes, wigs or makeup or so society tells us. The "guilt" part comes from feeling we haven't fulfilled our "manly" role in society. So much rot, in my opinion. You can be just as much of a man wearing women's clothes as a woman can be a woman wearing men's clothes. Once we focus on developing ourself as a PERSON, rather than a man or woman, we feel much better. I know, it took me years to get to that point but I finally did it. I feel much better about myself as a PERSON as a result. Ericka

[Tiffy]

Heather could it be that your hiding it from your selfe????????????


I am not sure if you are right for Heather or not, but I know I use to go through the same things Heather described and I was infact hiding from myself. I am still my own worst enemy for sure. And it was not easy to break but being here and with my wifes help I have gotten it pretty much kicked.

April Marie

[Melinda G]

The only feeling I get, after I finish, is "why can't I get this much pleasure, fun, and enjoyment with a woman"?