out to 1 parent

[michelle19845]

today i came out to my mom.i expected a huge freak out and i just got a few questions,with concern.we hung out today and when we got in the car ,i said,"good thing i don't have makeup on today".cause it was humid out.she said are you trying to tell me you're gay?i said not gay.she said ar you in the wrong body?i said pretty much,yep! she didn't freak out.asked if it was cause of my biological fathers actions and me not wanting to resemble him.i said no,cause it's not that.she said i should talk to a therapist soon so i got an appointment with a psych that is not any speciffic one like gender,so i can get referred to a therapist to talk to for an hour at a time,not a 10 minute psych scam artist.apparently the psych refers me to the therapist.
i will be going on my appointment next week and seeing where i will go down this crazy life.my mom hasn't said anything else since then about it,but i did get a hug when i said goodnight,which rarely happens,so i know it was part of me coming out to her,she does have concern and seems supportive!that is the best i can hope for and it seems that way atleast now.the step dad will be a differen't story pry.but atleast i broke the barrier.thank you all for your help and suggestions through time,you have helped me to come out to my mom,which means a lot,i am now more free to express my real self!


michelle19845

[Ibuki_Warpetal]

Good job.
The first steps are usually the most difficult.

[GypsyKaren]

Good for you Michelle, I know how hard this was for you. I've found that those who love you before finding out still do, those who don't still don't, and I never worry about them. Perhaps you'll be just as suprised by your stepfather as you were by your mom, I'll be pulling for you.

Karen

[michelle19845]

i highly doubt that he will be as accepting.he's a homophobe,makes comments on how our male dog should've been born a female cause he wines all the time.he makes comments against the color pink and cracks jokes about things being pink and how they reflect elton john and feminity.he drinks lots and always ha to work hard and brag about how he hurts cause he worked so hard.he makes comments about my friends that are lesbians around his age and asks why i hang with them cause it disturbs him.he makes comments about checkin out women"whoa,look at that!" i'm like,"nice hair",he's like "nice butt".i'll see how it goes.


michelle19845

[GypsyKaren]

So what's the worse that can happen if you tell him? He'll still be obnoxous and make remarks, so what. Do you want to hide in fear from a moron? If he gets in your face, spit in his...works for me.

Karen

[Ginagirl]

Hi Michelle
It sounds as though your mom may have had an inkling? Give that time to sink in. Give her a chance to absorb it. I think she will have some questions for you. Maybe at that time, you can ask her what the best approach will be for dear old dad. Having her help will probably give you the best chance for a positive outcome. Try not to rush it. People need time. Better to take the nec. time and get it right. I would wait until mom has a better understanding and is supporting of what you want to become. Something tells me your relationship with your mom is about to grow ten-fold.

Good Luck and Goodnight....

Gina

[CaptLex]

Congrats, Michelle, that must really be a huge load off your mind. Mom sounds very cool, too. Even if your stepdad doesn't take it well, it's good that you have Mom's support. This one's for you . . . :hugs:

[KELLYANN]

HEY MICHELLE! i'm so happy for you coming out to your mom. sounds like she is OK with it. YOU HANG IN THERE. really sounds like mom will be accepting. sure hope so! as far as stepdad, some people are just set in there ways, and will never change. they will close there eyes to the world around them. things are always changing. it is the 21'st century! if he cannot accept you as you are, well i would say, i open my heart, and you close your mind. i hope he will come around if and when he knows MICHELLE! if not, don't let it worry you. LIFE IS TO SHORT. we should not worry about what others may think of us. we all live are lives the way we choose. if you are good,decent, and hurting no one, don't see a problem with that! GOOD LUCK HUN!! KELLY.

[lostmyhubby GG]

OH MY GOD MICHELLE I AM SO PROUD OF YOU GIRL!!!!!!! you did it!!!! I know when we were together at the be all and were talking about comming out to your Mom you were very skeptical, and very critical of any understanding from your step dad....but i totally agree with KellyAnn....stay close to your Mom, help her absorb and comprehend also letting her know your on this road slowly yourself and how much it means to you to have her support.
As KellyAnn said some are just too old and too set in their ways, but for the most part its their ignorance and unwillingness to see people for who they are and let them live to be happy not unhappy and ridiculed, for everyone is the world has that right regardless of others ignorance.
I am so happy for you...perhaps invite your Mom to read on here and hook her up to talking to some of us you know and have met online here and at the be all.....i will let her know what a wonderful sensitive person she created and how proud she should be......you did it girl!!!!!! I cant wait to tell Trisha she will be proud of you too!!!
Our love to you throughout your journey Michelle and keep pressing on forward...you only have upwards to go babe!!!!
Diane

[jai.says]

CONGRATULATIONS MICHELLE!!! I'm so happy for you. It's a HUGE step and now you're on your way!
jai

[Chrissycd]

I've just been through it myself, Michelle. Stressful or what?!? I didn't get any support at all from my family, but I'm happy you've gotten some, at least. The one thing to remember is just that you can only be you, and you have no control over others. If they're going to be kind and accepting, wonderful, but, if they're not, well, that's their problem and they need to live w/ the fact that they made the choice to push you away. Get on w/ your life, and don't worry about those whose love comes w/ requirements. It's not been super easy living w/o any family support (for me), but I look at it this way: I never had it to begin with, did I?
Good luck!
Hugs,
Chrissy

[michelle19845]

my mom says she'l love me regardless,isn't too surprised about me dong this beacause i didn't show public symptoms of gender dysphoria.it was a hidden thing for years and years.she now is pushing the cause on friends i hang out that are lesbians and by biological father on how he was a poor parent.not so much where i wanted to see this go,i've given that stuff thought and don't see much relation to my scenario.i'll just take small steps as usual and see what happens.i mentioned femme features such as ease to cry when very happy or sad.being one to talk things out with others and not hold it in,the fact that when i look at my self i see a womanly face and don't see masculinity.i don't know.it'll take some time for her to understand i guess. we'll see what the psych says.thanks for all your encouragements and posts,i appreciate your support.