Coming out to grandma?

[Alayna]

I need some advice on what to do for X-mas. My grandma is coming to town for this X-mas. My family all knows about my CDing and is supportive. I know that I'm going to get a few femme presents. I'm also giving some femme things that I'm making. My grandma does not know about all this.

Here's the dilemma: She is 86 and her health is beginning to fail. She still has a lot of years left, but it's something that you naturally think about. She talks about it more than anyone else:rolleyes::p. She's a sweet lady who is quite open-minded and I'm not worried about her acceptance. However, I sent her my halloween pic (wearing a red skirt and corset with full makeup) at her request. She since has not said anything to me about it. My mom also told me she was a little weird on the phone, like she didn't know how to take it. Should I pass it off as just some good 'ol halloween fun and spare her unnecessary akwardness or just let it all out? As far as I've discussed with my family, it's all up to me and there will be support either way.

The reason I'm unsure is because it could mean holding back more than I'm prepared to in the future. I'm just about to open a small business making corsets for the TG community. If all goes well, which so far there's no reason it shouldn't, it'll lead to my own fashion line and haute couture shop for women and CD's. I'm giving satin sheets, corsets and skirts as x-mas gifts which would be more than enough to raise anyone's eyebrows;). Also, my sister has told me that she's very interested in getting involved with this business so it could affect her quite a bit too.

So, should I hold off on this or go for it? This is the first time in many years that she has come to Colorado instead of us going to her for X-mas. Also, there's no guarantee that what I'm planning will even be successful. Should I wait for a better time to break this? Would it be selfish to do this during a rare time for everyone to be together? GAack! I'm so confused!

[Tristen Cox]

Hi Alayna,
Sweetie this would be a great thing 'if' she accepted it. Being a Christmas with the family and all, you may want to consider 'if' she does not accept it, how it could jeopardise the holiday. I'm not saying it will or won't work out, but maybe you should wait to come out to her when there's less riding on this. Whatever you decide I wish you the best when it happens and hope she does accept and understand that this is you and that nothing has changed except for the better :cool:

Love,
Tristen

[Sandra H]

If it was me I would hold back at Christmas, it could spoil an otherwise enjoyable time with the family. Without sounding too morbid and I do not want to upset you, but at 86 it could well be her last Christmas and if it was and it was spoiled with the upset of her not accepting your Cding it would be a bad memory for not only you, but other members of your family.

I say this because you have come out to all your family, other than your grandma. WHY? Only you know the answer to the reason why you have not told her before. Just tread slowly. But the bottom line is you know your family and grandma far better than I, so what do I know?

Either way the very best of luck and have a great Christmas.

[Sharon]

Alayna,
If you want to be honest with your grandmother, I think you should sit down with her one-to-one beforehand. Christmas day, with all the family looking on, seems like a bad way to introduce yourself.

[DonnaT]

Give her a call and feel her out. Explain that you were a little worried about what she was feeling after seing your pictures. It may be that she is remembering something from the past in response to seeing you dressed.

You'll know what to do then, especially when opening fem gifts.

[Alayna]

Thanks for the help! I'm not worried at all that she won't be accepting - the only reason she doesn't know is that she's not part of our daily lives. She lives in Florida and we only see her once or twice a year, and I only talk to her once every few months. From what you all have said I'm leaning toward waiting for a better opportunity - but I'll guage the situation when she comes into town and decide based on that.
Thanks again:p