Dyke Bashed while dressed

[Rikkicn]

My sweetie and I were out for a walk last night. We were holding hands and laughing. We walked by a couple of men and that made comments that were really rude about us being two women holding hands. I can't repeat what they said on this site.
It was shocking and hard to believe at first. My sweetie, a self identified dyke, said "we've just been dyke bashed"
I've had all kinds of reactions to this. The first being disgust and disbelief and the next being that I was read as female by them and third. If I'm read as a woman I'm now half of a lesbian couple and when were outside of our home area we need to be careful or we migh have problems.
Phew, this is something I never ever thought of and it's going to take some getting used to.
Any thoughts about this?

Rikki

[Julie Avery]

My only thought is that it's not worth wasting too much time trying to figure out why people are warlike. It's just a given. I mean, look around the world today.

It will never do, to build a transgendered identity on the hope that human nature is suddenly going to change and become different than it has been since the beginning of recorded history.

I'm sorry to take such a dark view, but I think starting out with a dark view has its merits. As some wag once said, "The jails aren't full of Calvinists". ;)

[Billijo49504]

Just smile and think, I got mine and you got your boyfriend.:tongueout And be very happy you two are so happy together. Isn't it wonderful having a supportive wife....BJ

[Stephenie S]

Dear Rikki,

Congratulations. You have just experienced something that every GG has to consider every day. Men are dangerous, especially in a group. This is something that is always under the surface in every woman's life. Always present and always to be reckoned with. In that sense, you have taken one more step towards becoming a woman, or at least feeling like one.

As a man, you have been pretty much free of this experience most of your life. You have been able to go pretty much anywhere you want at any time. A woman can't do this. she has to constantly evaluate every situation all the time for safety. Can I walk to my car? Can I leave the mall at this time of night? If I stay late at work how will I get to my car? Is this subway station safe? All questions that we men don't have to ask most of the time.

Men in groups, and sometimes by themselves, pose a threat to a woman. Going out as a lesbian couple puts you in a dangerous situation if you are not in a safe environment.

This is a question I have to deal with myself as I do not wish to present as "just friends" with my wife when out. So we too could easily be perceived as a lesbian couple.

Be carefull.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[KateW]

If the worst comes to the worst, you can always suprise them by how strong a women you are... ;-)

[Dana]

Is something that is almost on the primortal level that goes back for thousands and thousands if not millions of years of human evelotion.

Like it orl not ~ despite our many advances in the arts and sciences ~ we're all quinessentially still just hairless apes with hight IQ's. That primortal brain ~ the lizard brain that reacts out instinct ~ is still a part of who and what we are.

GLBT's are outside of the preceived "norm" and thus are outside of the "clan" "tribe" ~ group. Thus the osterization, even to the point of hositiallity.

Lifetime has an excellent movie on last night about this very thing ~ and about how "preceived" diferrences be taken to exteremes ~ by well intentioned and "edcuated" people.

GLBT are as a group some of the more better educated, better read, and more intellegent of the general popultion ~ in part because we preceive at an early age that we're different from the norm ~ indeed we are statistical deviations from the normal distribution curve.

Thus in turn ~ with percettion of difference in hand ~ we go in search of answers as to why we're not "normal" like all the other Dicks and Janes.

Anyone who is a true scholar ~ who learns for the pure sake of learing knows that the search for knowledge of one subject leads to an interest in another subject, and then another, and then another. Learing become expotential!

GLBT also leads to a searcy and understanding of our "true self" for many this is a lifelong journey.

To cut this short ~ your "average" person isn't too awlful bright, is generally speaking marginally if not poorly educated, hasn't volunteerly read anything since high school, doesn't even read the news paper reguarly, watches a lot of idiot tv, and live their lives without ever questioning the myths, and fallacies, and clichies that were spoonfed to them since childhood, and are probally in-capable of independent thought! Think Homer Simpson.

There are many, many different levels of intellegence, comprehension, conception, understanding, and exsistance. Your average "Joe Blow" on the street just doesn't "get it" when it comes to a lot of things. Its in-comprehinsible to him (or her) that a man that wears women's clothes, jewelry, and makeup isn't gay? Or at least bisexual? It is in-comprehensible to them that sexual orientation and gender identification are two separate things. Besides! Just because I'm wearing a dresss doesn't mean I automatically want to have sex with your nasty azz! Three letters for you there Bubba~ STD's! Nasty buggers!

Sorry, I'm not just any old hole for you to plant your pole in! I'm much more than just that! As a hetro male ~ I understand that aspect of being a woman ~ and I can't blame them for the attitude.

From my own personal life experiences ~ I find your story somewhat humorous. In that, yea! I might be a CD'r ~ and I might even be Gay (I'm not ~ but for illustrative purposes) but I'm a retired United States Marine with Combat Training and Experince in hand to hand, and a 2nd degree black belt in the marital arts. (*Note* Forget the BS! A true South Philly, raised on the streets kid ~ can kick your ass! I know ~ he kicked mine! I begged that MF to get his teeth off of the bone of my little finger ~ and when he left I didn't chase him down to demand a re-mach!)

[typical_guy]

When I was walking at night with a lesbian friend - we were going to a club and I was dressed (see my "first time out" thread), some guys accross the street yelled "Lesbians!", so apparently he thought I was a lesbiant. I thought to myself "Cool!" then I thought about it more and was like "Wtf? I just totally got gay bashed....it really kind of bothered me, especially since I was in the "gay part" of DC and going to a club frequented by gays/lesbians/TSs/CDs.

[Calliope]

What a bummer! I kinda get the shakes just reading your description. On the bright side, consider game theory or roulette - you probably got that particular experience out of your life forecast for years as of now.

[Wenda]

Remember, every body needs an asshole, otherwise, how would you get rid of the crap?Think of those guys as disfunctional, imperfect assholes, who are sending crap the wrong way up the system!

[Yes I am]

Accessorize: Buy a gun!

[sandra-leigh]

GLBT are as a group some of the more better educated, better read, and more intellegent of the general popultion ~ in part because we preceive at an early age that we're different from the norm ~ indeed we are statistical deviations from the normal distribution curve.

Hmmm, it is a bit difficult to seperate cause and effect there, or even whether there is any correlation.

I was treated as "different" at least as far back as grade 1, and was the teased-or-ignored bright kid through most of school. I am not GLB, and I did not have any more than trivial cross-dressing thoughts until a couple of years ago, past 40 years old.

As to exploring why I was treated differently: I never did know, and I never made much effort to find out. Perhaps I'm just too stubborn to socialize in traditional male interests...

[noname]

Perhaps I'm just too stubborn to socialize in traditional male interests...

What would those be? Cars? beer? sports?

[Deidra Cowen]

Sorry you went thru that sweetie! But on the positive side you did pass, but any harrashment is a pain in da butt.

A lesbian made fun of my deep voice in the ladies room at the Stage Door Bar on Saturday night. I just ignored her and did not say anything, but I admit it made me a bit mad. Not that I was going to show her that!

[Teresa Amina]

Accessorize: Buy a gun!

Not a great idea, but once I worked with a gal from Dee-troit who had this really neat purse that had a special easy access pistol holster built in where she kept her .380 automatic.