Thoughts on CDing

[NewbieCD]

I see other ppl on here all talk about how they have done it for years and they never wanna stop. I have never felt that way. A lot of my dressing i think stems from the belives roles i have of men and women Men the back bones never sposed to cry give up or go backwards in life always have to be the suportive one never lets your emotions show and grin and bear life instead of live it. WHen this whole other side of me screams cry and feel enjoy life let others take control sometimes and that others list is my emotions as well. It is okay to be fragile and it is okay to need to be supported. Instead of the suporter. I use dressing as a way to get in touch with my emotions on that other part of me. Even though i enjoy this one day i hope to get to a point that i do not need to be in high heels to let this other side out fully, and be a whole happy person without the need of all this. Am I the only one that feels this way?

[Kate Simmons]

Put quite simply, Hon, no you are not the only one who feels this way. Ericka

[ChristineRenee]

Whether you dress or not isn't nearly as important as being the real you...the person inside. For many...dressing helps to bring out the feminine qualities that we have suppressed inside and aren't supposed to show...or even have...in some people's minds. This is all a by-product of societal conditioning...men should be a certain way...women should be a certain way...viva la differance...blah, blah,blah. While this cookie cutter definition may be ideal for some...it certainly isn't for all.

There is nothing inherently wrong with dressing. If you can achieve the peace of mind inside...aka your center...without the need or desire to CD...hey...that's great! Some have and still find that they enjoy the externalization of their inner femininity....actually seeing the female that they feel inside of them. It is a rush to be sure....one that I still feel on the occasions that I do fully dress. Do I NEED to do it to BE Chrissie...no. Do I still like or desire to do it from time to time to SEE her...yes. But that's just me speaking for me.

One therapist I went to told me that once I was able to integrate the two sides of me...male & female...into one complete person...I wouldn't have the need to dress anymore...that I could finally give it up. What he didn't get was that I didn't go to him to be "cured" of dressing...just to better understand why I did it is all. I didn't see it as something that was wrong...I just wanted to understand it, and myself, better is all.

I can't honestly tell you if you will be happier or not by continuing CD'ing or by getting to the point in your life where you don't need or want to do it...only you will ultimately be able to determine that...and I wish you all the best on that journey my friend.:hugs:

[Charleen]

I am Lily. Always have been, even thouh I tried to deny her existence many times and led the "macho" life of no crying, showing emotions et al. I am Lily, the stronger of the two. I have always cried, shown affection and love, while Charlie was a hot head, uncaring SOB without me around. Now that I'm around 24/7 this person the world knows as Charlie is different, more caring and giving. Yes I'm enfemme to some degree at all times, but the clothes do not make who I am. Dressed totally drab (shudder) I am still Lily. My dressing was but a symptom of what was inside of me. Love and xxxx, Lily

[Calliope]

I am Lily. [...] I have always cried, shown affection and love, while Charlie was a hot head, uncaring SOB without me around. Now that I'm around 24/7 this person the world knows as Charlie is different, more caring and giving. Yes I'm enfemme to some degree at all times, but the clothes do not make who I am. Dressed totally drab (shudder) I am still Lily.

I can totally relate to that. For me, dressing started like pot - it got the younger, impatient me to 'hear the instruments mixed way down' but, after a while, my ears were 'trained' and I stopped smoking it.

[Casey Morgan]

As far as physically dressing, part of what I get out of it is that my sex doesn't accurately reflect my gender. Neither does fully dressing and presenting as a woman, but dressing allows me to show that part of my gender that my sex doesn't. So I doubt I'll ever stop dressing.

But I understand what you mean about letting that other side of you show. There is and always has been just one you in there. And the trick and key is to be that one person. It sounds like you've got a pretty decent handle on yourself. Dressing gives you permission to let the rest of yourself develop and mature. And as you become comfortable doing that you won't need an external "device" like crossdressing to make it OK to be the whole person you are. That's a great goal and I hope you achieve it.

I can't quite tell if you're saying that once you each that goal you are hoping to stop crossdressing or not. But as Christine says only you can know what is right for you in that regards. I wish you well there too.

[NewbieCD]

Thank you all for all your stories i understand a little better my own struggles in this and i never know where the road would will take me all I know is I got an ear along the way thank you.

[noname]

Just to note, as to the whole never cry, be a man and take it, be tough etc... I got thinking, while that is generally true, men generally do not live as long either. Connection?

[Charleen]

Just to note, as to the whole never cry, be a man and take it, be tough etc... I got thinking, while that is generally true, men generally do not live as long either. Connection?
Could definitely be! Love and xxxx, Lily

[NewbieCD]

Just to note, as to the whole never cry, be a man and take it, be tough etc... I got thinking, while that is generally true, men generally do not live as long either. Connection?

Makes you think

[Jackie-Ann]

As far as physically dressing, part of what I get out of it is that my sex doesn't accurately reflect my gender. Neither does fully dressing and presenting as a woman, but dressing allows me to show that part of my gender that my sex doesn't. So I doubt I'll ever stop dressing.

Hi,Shari_Ann, I like the way you expressed yourself because I can relate to you very well. I've been CD since childhood. I enjoy it because I love the feminine side of me than my male side. The feel of being soft and being able to express openly instead of keep emotions repressed. I love history. I went to the movies with my wife and her girlfriends to see the Da Vinci code. I love the movie because it shows clearly how women were suppressed by man dominating societies. We live in that kind of world and after all the technological advances we cannot stop waging war against each other. I was discussing with my wife the issue and we both agreed that war is a product of man and not woman.The Middle East is a male dominating society where women need to cover themselves or else. Where femininity is a sin. Can you imagine where people like us will be ? Can imagine Victoria Secrets stores in Iran, for example ? I was a JW for about 10 years of my life. You don't have an idea of the guilt feelings that I had during that period of time and the time it took to deprogram myself. They ( Jw's and most christian denominations) use this man made biblical text to totally control any femininity that a man can feel:

"A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the Lord your God detests anyone who does this."
( Deuteronomy 22:5)

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