Aaaargh! This is so frustrating.

[Gemma Rhodes]

Hi Girls.

Im all dressed up tonight but its so frustrating. I want to go out and enjoy myself like I have been doing recently but cos I am quite well known in my neighbourhood then there no chance.

Before I went out I was happy dressing at home every night but now Im out on the scene so to speak its really frustrating. I still dress most days but not as often as I used to and Im not ready to come out to the world yet.

Have told the people who I care about and they have been great and my sister and brother-in-law are actively encouraging this and are coming round for a meal on Friday.

What I really, really would like to do is just walk out the door and down to my local and see how long it took for someone to recognise me. Why can't I just be allowed to be me, its so bloody frustrating.

[carol anne]

Gemma,
Most of us wish to walk out the front door just as you describe, but few of us do. We, as a group, fear discovery. Those of us who have been "discovered" or have admitted to it are the ones who no longer carry that fear. Most of us will never be discovered merely because few people really expect to see or "discover" a cd. We fear the unknown and being dressed is a very large unknown and yet once we break that invisible barrier of the front door we have discovered the fear really exists more in our minds and not in the eyes of the people who might see us. It is easier than we believe.
:happy:

[DonnaT]

come on Gemma, just do it! Or as some may say Git-r-done!

Only one stopping you is you.

[Phoebe Reece]

Gemma,

You have come a long way in self-acceptance and getting out in the world during the past year. If you are not really ready for your entire neighborhood to know about Gemma, then just sit back and enjoy things as they are. But the question may be, when (if ever) will you be ready for everyone to know about your dual nature? You have to really think about your priorities to answer that one. If coming out to everyone around you is important, you need to know how that possibly could affect employment or even friendships. If those are not really issues, then it is just a matter of when you have the courage - which would probably be pretty soon, considering what all you have done lately. If outing yourself would put yourself out of work, that's a tough one, unless you are ready for a change anyway.
Your world is what you make of it. I'm sure you will find a way to deal with your frustrations.

[Tina Dixon]

Gemma you got it going on, some of us are still scared to look in the mirror, I'm sure one day sone you will say to hell with them and show the world.

[gennee]

I have gone out several times, Gemma. I went home dressed. Rode the train. walked the crowded streets. My goal is to leave my home dressed and stay out all day en femme. Go on and do it. You will be the better for doing so.

Gennee

:thumbsup:

[paulaN]

you have come so far. you have over come so many fears. may be some day you will walk right out that front door. keep on gurlen.

[jai.says]

You've made a huge step in telling some of your loved ones. Lavish in that for a moment. It seems that your courage and strength are growing and soon you will be out the door!! Stay strong...

jai

[Rachel Morley]

I know what you mean Gemma. Take heed everyone, once you start going out there ain't no turning back!.....or at least that's how it was for me. :D

Once you start going out to scene venues, you'll want to try non scene venues before long.....this is when it gets more difficult. I haven't told my loved ones, other than my wife of course, so by that alone you're doing awesome. I too sometimes wish I could just say to hell with everyone, why can't I just be myself? Although for me that would be (at least the majority of the time) a very feminized male wearing obvious women's clothes, because sometimes the work it takes to look even reasonably passable is quite a chore.