When the daydreams change

[Casey Morgan]

I love to daydream before I go to sleep and shortly after I wake up. I seem to be at my most creative then. Normally when I daydream about being a woman at those times there's still some male influence there. Some of the things I imagine myself doing and the settings I place myself in still have a touch of acting out some male fantasies to them. Lately though that's been feeling more forced and wrong.

This morning I had a rather nice daydream about being the youngish (very early twenties) wife of a midwest farmer around the same age somewhere in the '20s or '30s. This one didn't have the earmarks of a male fantasy. I never had that moment of "ooh, now she/I should do this". Everything flowed very naturally.

I woke up late (hey, it was a daydream) and found Pete already working outside. I asked him what he wanted for breakfast and he told me he had already eaten. He said that I had been working so hard trying to get the house ready (we recently moved in) on top of everything else I was doing that he thought I deserved to sleep in this morning of all mornings. I asked him what was so special about today. He reminded me that today was my birthday. (I've done that in real life. I remembered the night before but it didn't dawn on me until sometime after I had gotten up the next day.) So I had breakfast, did some chores around the house, then I went to the general store.

This daydream just felt so good, so natural. Is this what happens when you really start to accept this "side" of you? You stop, I don't know, "controlling" things and they start happening naturally?

[GG Vanya]

Shari Ann,

I can't speak to the changes or evolving of your daydreams, but if this one is indicative of how complete they all are....may I suggest you begin a journal of them?

Obviously you have a very vivid/creative imagination, and a compilation of them would certainly make for an interesting read! Perhaps even a publication somewhere down the road?

In any case, they are far too interesting to be allowed to simply fade into yesterday. :happy:

[Casey Morgan]

Thank you, that's so kind of you. My daydreams are usually that detailed/complete. I tend to turn my "over 18" daydreams into stories, but I haven't ever really done anything with my "regular" daydreams. That's usually because my regular daydreams are just nice little things I don't flesh out further. I've got a little more... impetus to see where the other kind go.

Now I'm interested to see where this one goes. Kindly "old" (to a young tewntysomething, 50 is old) Mr. Baker the general store owner took a liking to me almost from the beginning. But it's a fatherly liking. I wonder why that is.

Thanks again for the encouragement. :happy:

[Carroll]

Are you refering when you put youself in a situation, or fantisize about, say, being dressed and talking to your friends and them not knowing its you? Or something I think would be cool is being a mystery woman that owns her own airfield, and her own flying museum or rare and cool planes to fly. Ok now thats an active imagination!

[Casey Morgan]

It's exactly like being the mystery woman who owns her own airfield. It's just that I could always see a male hand in how things played out before. This time I didn't see that male hand. Before she would have worn a skintight leather outfit and been a bit loose. Now she would be dressed nicely and... not loose?

[Wenda]

... she would have worn a skintight leather outfit and been a bit loose. Now she would be dressed nicely and... not loose?H hope not. How I miss Emma Peel!

[Kate Simmons]

In mine, I'm a retired CIA operative who is now settled down with her man. Problem is, some of my old enemies keep coming around to "pay me back". I keep hopping around in the background keeping my husband protected and running interference. He is blissfully unaware of any of this and can't figure out why I'm so tired at night when he is ready to make love. All in a day's work I guess. like they say, a woman's work is never done.(Part of this is real but I can't say which part.) Ericka

[Casey Morgan]

I've been writing in my journal about this and I was able to put my thoughts and feelings behind my question into words better than I did originally. In the movie Minority Report Tom Cruise is going through this place where you can act out your fantasies. The man guiding him tells him that they get a lot of requests from men to have sex with men as a woman.

It's taking a typical male fantasy and simply casting yourself in the role of the woman. My daydreams used to have some of that, but at the same time I was giving free expression to that part of me I had been supressing. As some have said having been born and raised male I can't know what it's like to be a woman, but as one of the boys who I respect and admire was saying (and a bottle of the finest rum on my tab for you for posting it) it may be my perceptions but my descriptions of some of those thoughts and feelings match theirs. So yes, I was expressing the feminine thoughts and feelings of mine.

But at some point the male part of me would say "now let's have her do this", acting out some male fantasy of mine, and I'd go along with it. But lately I'd go along with it for a while but it would start to feel wrong and I'd tell that part to shut up, that this was my fantasy. And then I had that daydream I posted. That male part made a suggestion and (I remembered after posting) I went along with it for a moment but it just felt forced, I didn't enjoy it. And the next night that male part made a suggestion but was politely told to take a hike.

I've been getting more comfortable expressing this part of myself, at least to me. (I'm still nervous about expressing it to others; some times I express it and sometimes I don't.) I guess what I'm asking is if others have had similar experiences or if I'm just being goofy again. Has anyone else found that the more they accepted this once unacceptable part of themselves that their daydreams began to change, and they could be free to just explore thast part of themselves? Shoot, I'm still not making sense am I?

Has anybody else found that they've been freer to explore their feminine side in daydreams, and actually been able to do that without their masculine side showing up in their daydreams?