I am an idiot... I think

[surc777]

I feel a little odd posting here, as I have replied to one thread but otherwise just "lurked", but here goes nothing:

I managed to get an interview through a temp agency for a job, with the understanding that I would be dressed at work everyday. They were fine with it.

My girlfriend helped me get ready, as she usually does when I dress (makeup still kind of stumps me sometimes), drove me over and dropped me off where I thought the place was. It turned out to be about two blocks up, so I kind of panicked, but managed to find it.

The interview went well, the manager said I looked believable (I would have prefered lovely, but I won't quibble :-P) so she didn't think I would cause any disruption with the staff, so she was prepared to offer me the job. She said, tho, that I didn't seem very comfortable or confident being dressed as I was, was I sure I could handle it all day every day? I wasn't sure then and I am not now. I could have taken the job and not dressed, but by that point I was so embarassed and nervous I just told her she was right and I would have to think about it. Now the job has gone to someone else, so the opportunity is lost :-(

I ended up walking about a mile to where my girlfriend was supposed to be waiting, she had decided to go somewhere else first and I ended up waiting outside for about 20 minutes, thinking that everyone knew I was a guy in a skirt suit.

Now I am not sure I did the right thing. I would love to have a job where I could dress everyday, I think, but I choked so badly when it was offered that now I'm not sure. What do you gals think?

[Scotty]

Tough call - But if your instincts say it wasn't right then maybe it was not ?

Maybe time to see a counselor ot help you get over your fear, assuming you are TS, that might help a lot. I would if I were in your shoes, I work in such a conservative town that I could never even go as far as you did...

Although at one dot-com I wore my earrings all the time and one gal thought it was cool......

I wish you luck, it's a tough decision but only one that you can make...

Chin up!

[Calliope]

Just get more experience dressing - and try again. I think you'll regret not giving it a go.

[Mandy Salamander]

good instincts!!!,,, i'm thinking , your experience at the interview shows that you're not quite ready, but,,, th' fact that you even showed up proves you're real close, 'n well on your way, congrats!!!,,, also, considering your nervousness walking to 'n waiting afterwards,,, prob'ly should spend more time dressed, out in public before you try again,,, but doooo try again!!!!!,,, i'm still waiting for my agency t' get my first interview!!!

[Billijo49504]

If you're not ready, you're not ready. End of story. But, you should be out on a daily basis, so you can be used to be in the fem role. Get all of your practice, and then go for the job...BJ

[RachelDenise]

Going to a job interview dressed is an amzing thing to do!!!! I agree with the others that you're almost there. Keep it up and let us know what happens!

[NighttimeGirl]

yeah big up to you girl goin to the job interview, hell I cant even get out the door, you go for it, every negative has a positive and you will get one out of it in the end just keep going :love:

[Sally24]

Congratulations for the attempt! Maybe you need to get more comfortable with going out. From the sounds of it, you may not be going out casually. Do you make it an "event" when you dress and go out, or do you go out to the movies, the groceries, every day things like shopping for cleaning supplies? You need to relax and get comfortable doing normal day to day things that all people do, girls or boys.

You seem to be getting closer to being ready. Just take your time and push yourself a little, but not alot.

Good Luck!

Sally

[Phyliss]

That you went to a job interview "dressed" is a MAJOR thing with me. That was a very brave and wonderful thing you did.
O.K. so you changed your mind. So what? Every journey begins with one step, and GIRL you took a giant step for that.
Keep at it and you WILL accomplish your dream.

[Charleen]

Wow, Congratulations on doing that! Even if you didn't get the job. It's like the old jokr- A guy was walking down down a street in New York lost. Stopped a man, and asked, "how do I get to Carnagie Hall?" The guy looked at him and said,. " Practice, man, practice." Love and xxx, Lily

[jjjjohanne]

If you were noticably nervous to be dressed in public like that, then it probably is not best to become so full time. There are bigger issues than can you handle being at work in front of people dressed. There are issues such as, are you ready for what being a full timer can do to your life? Being full time means a whole new wardrobe, dressing probably all day long, every day. Makeup, etc.

If you were full time and then decided to extend it to work, then you have already accepted the load that comes with it.

(That takes a lot of nerve letting someone drop you off en femme, and watching them drive away!!)

J

[Teresa Amina]

What a tremendous learning experience! You're no idiot, it was a huge step in reengineering your life. Wow! Next time you'll know what to expect and it will be an even better job to get.:thumbsup:

[Win Der Mere]

Yep.

All is not lost

I have an ad out for a classy receptionist, and it could be your big chance.
Just identify yourself at interview, and I promise that I'll keep your secret.

Win.

[Wendy me]

ok from what you said you want to work dressed but from what you also said your not quite ready to do that ..... that's ok ... i would have not passed the job up if the job was that good i would have taken the job and dressed when you were ready to do so.....

[Yes I am]

At first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again.

[Toni]

Not many of us would have had the bottle to go to an interview dressed en femme, so you can take some small consolation in the fact that you did it in the first place. What I would like to know is what was the job? and can I have one please?

[Sky]

My girlfriend helped me get ready, as she usually does when I dress (makeup still kind of stumps me sometimes)


It turned out to be about two blocks up, so I kind of panicked, but managed to find it.


...and I ended up waiting outside for about 20 minutes, thinking that everyone knew I was a guy in a skirt suit.


In summary, girl, you're not there yet. If you are still insecure about being seen in public, you couldn't have taken a full time job in drag. Keep on working and you'll eventually be ready for it. Good luck!

[spoonie]

:thumbsup: You have my admiration ,10 out of ten for efford
love from Spoonie
:hugs:
I feel a little odd posting here, as I have replied to one thread but otherwise just "lurked", but here goes nothing:

I managed to get an interview through a temp agency for a job, with the understanding that I would be dressed at work everyday. They were fine with it.

My girlfriend helped me get ready, as she usually does when I dress (makeup still kind of stumps me sometimes), drove me over and dropped me off where I thought the place was. It turned out to be about two blocks up, so I kind of panicked, but managed to find it.

The interview went well, the manager said I looked believable (I would have prefered lovely, but I won't quibble :-P) so she didn't think I would cause any disruption with the staff, so she was prepared to offer me the job. She said, tho, that I didn't seem very comfortable or confident being dressed as I was, was I sure I could handle it all day every day? I wasn't sure then and I am not now. I could have taken the job and not dressed, but by that point I was so embarassed and nervous I just told her she was right and I would have to think about it. Now the job has gone to someone else, so the opportunity is lost :-(

I ended up walking about a mile to where my girlfriend was supposed to be waiting, she had decided to go somewhere else first and I ended up waiting outside for about 20 minutes, thinking that everyone knew I was a guy in a skirt suit.

Now I am not sure I did the right thing. I would love to have a job where I could dress everyday, I think, but I choked so badly when it was offered that now I'm not sure. What do you gals think?

[Stephenie S]

Dear Surc,

No, I do not think you are an idiot. Not at all.

Maybe you moved a little fast, but the fact that you "choked" in a job interview shows fantastic courage and determination. Good for you!

I think you need to step back and gain some confidence in your self. Maybe start by learning to prepare yourself. Your GF won't always be there when you need her, and really, it's not fair to make her responsible for herself and you too. Take the time to learn your own makeup and dressing skills. I know you will find this a BIG confidence booster. If you are going to work as a woman, you will have to be putting together an outfit every day after all. Your GF is doing this for herself already. Don't make her do it for you too. She'll love you for it! You can practice by just going to the supermarket, the post office, church, etc.

So don't be too hard on yourself. Be proud, you deserve it. Good for you!!!
The rest will follow.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Jenn2716]

Congrats on two fronts.

First, congrats on going to the interview enfemme in the first place. You really don't give yourself enough credit for just showing up and interacting with other people as your femme self. Give yourself a pick pat on the back for making it further than most cd's ever get.

Second, congrats on having a girlfriend who not only helps you with your make-up but is supportive enough to drive you to your interview. I can see how you would feel ready to work enfemme, when you have that kind of understanding at home.

Don't give up. When the right situation comes around try again. You are great example to the rest of us.

:hugs:

[surc777]

Yep.

All is not lost

I have an ad out for a classy receptionist, and it could be your big chance.
Just identify yourself at interview, and I promise that I'll keep your secret.

Win.



I would love that, but I am an ocean away. Otherwise I would take you up on it in a heartbeat.

[surc777]

Dear Surc,

No, I do not think you are an idiot. Not at all.

Maybe you moved a little fast, but the fact that you "choked" in a job interview shows fantastic courage and determination. Good for you!

I think you need to step back and gain some confidence in your self. Maybe start by learning to prepare yourself. Your GF won't always be there when you need her, and really, it's not fair to make her responsible for herself and you too. Take the time to learn your own makeup and dressing skills. I know you will find this a BIG confidence booster. If you are going to work as a woman, you will have to be putting together an outfit every day after all. Your GF is doing this for herself already. Don't make her do it for you too. She'll love you for it! You can practice by just going to the supermarket, the post office, church, etc.

So don't be too hard on yourself. Be proud, you deserve it. Good for you!!!
The rest will follow.

Lovies,
Stephenie


I have gone out to a few othe places, mostly at night (movies and such) and actually ended up going to about five places last week in one night dressed because I made the cardinal error of putting n nail polish and not making sure therewas remover in the medicine cabinet before applying it (drunken dressing sessions are a BAD idea, but as an alcoholic, they are most of what I have :-( ). I tried several gas stations to find the remover and ended up at Walmar to get some. BTW, is it just me or is it easier to deal with GG's than men when doing these transactions? I have been fitted for a bra at VS while in drab, and have purchased most of my underwear there, after making sure there were NO guys and NO older women there. Of course I used a cover story too :-)

[DonnaT]

Nice try. And good to know there's an accepting temp agency waiting for you to try again.

I would love to have a job where I could dress everyday, I think
There's the central issue right there. When you are sure that's what you want, then try again.

It's not a game.

[noname]

You'd probably be fairly confident with in a week or so. After a month you probably wouldn't even think about it.

[Ranee Daze]

But what exactly is behind the drive to be dressed every day at work? Isn't work itself hard enough that it has to become some sort of proving ground for your makeover skills? Not to mention the time, effort and expense of daily dressing. For sure my skin would not tolerate a daily close shave plus foundation regimen too well.
For me, being trapped in a "Mrs. Doubtfire" situation where I was obliged to be dressed every day would poop all of the fun out of dressing. It would very soon cease to be anything special at all. I am a musician and I used to really feel special all tuxedoed up, nowadays it is just another hanger to reach for, and a pretty steep monthly cleaning bill.
All this to say, why don't you re-examine your dressing fully and answer a simple question about why you need to dress at work.? It may be better to have separate lives after all.

[Toni]

But what exactly is behind the drive to be dressed every day at work? Isn't work itself hard enough that it has to become some sort of proving ground for your makeover skills? Not to mention the time, effort and expense of daily dressing. For sure my skin would not tolerate a daily close shave plus foundation regimen too well.
For me, being trapped in a "Mrs. Doubtfire" situation where I was obliged to be dressed every day would poop all of the fun out of dressing. It would very soon cease to be anything special at all. I am a musician and I used to really feel special all tuxedoed up, nowadays it is just another hanger to reach for, and a pretty steep monthly cleaning bill.
All this to say, why don't you re-examine your dressing fully and answer a simple question about why you need to dress at work.? It may be better to have separate lives after all.

I think there is a whole lot of good common sense in this.

[surc777]

But what exactly is behind the drive to be dressed every day at work? Isn't work itself hard enough that it has to become some sort of proving ground for your makeover skills? Not to mention the time, effort and expense of daily dressing. For sure my skin would not tolerate a daily close shave plus foundation regimen too well.
For me, being trapped in a "Mrs. Doubtfire" situation where I was obliged to be dressed every day would poop all of the fun out of dressing. It would very soon cease to be anything special at all. I am a musician and I used to really feel special all tuxedoed up, nowadays it is just another hanger to reach for, and a pretty steep monthly cleaning bill.
All this to say, why don't you re-examine your dressing fully and answer a simple question about why you need to dress at work.? It may be better to have separate lives after all.

There is truth in this, it has just always been a fantay of mine - perhaps related to the idea of doing something I want to do annyway but escaping some of the responsibility for it. It migh indeed take the fun out of it, but I find the idea titillating nonetheless :happy: