Need ideas plz

[HaleyPink2000]

Using an old question I bet, but oh well it's my question.0.02
I’ve wondered if anyone has had my same feelings about wanting breast augmentation. Even though I’m a very Hetro Cross Dresser. I don’t want to dress as a male anymore and would so love to dress in front of everyone. Since I’ve retired in March this year, I do dress most of the time at home except when company comes over. My Wife’s idea. She does not prefer I dress at all. But the more this goes on the more I want to fit into the mold of a female. I do the house work, and all the wifely duty’s around the house now. But this morning I did realize I wear my breast forms most of the time and love it so very much.

So, sitting here I thought about what I’d have to go through getting breast augmentation. I’d be so out to all my family after that. Also it would break all my wife’s wishes about it being a secret from the people we know, like family, her business acquaintances and friends. But I’d so love to have it done.

It’s like my ears right now. I wear clip on ear rings.:heehee: I’d love to get them pierced. But scared to talk to the wife about it.:sad: Knowing how she did feel when my Grandson had it done. She was way against it. Now 6 months later, she even helps him pick out ear rings at the stores. It’s maybe just unfounded fears, but I think of this every day right now. It’s like me dressing. She says little about me dressing these days. Except when She wants sex. Then it’s like “ what do you have on”. Then I know she’s most likely horny and pist off I’m wearing femme clothing. Which that happens very seldom actually, her wanting it.

Or my wearing nail polish, it's ok if I wear clear nail polish. But She don't want me wearing colors. Hmmm?:rolleyes:

I don't want to srs but I'd love to have the ears done and the breast surgery. Oh, and I want everyone to know without loosing my entire family and friends. Is this possible?

Please only positive help and no idiot comments please.:D

Any ideas that might help and what have you all done about similar things? :hugs:

[Emeralddragon]

I havent had it done and dont plan on doing it for quite a while if at all but i have to say that maybe you need to maybe think about this a little more. Perhaps its something thats just out of the question completely for the moment. If your wife simply puts up with it and doesnt really want you doing it which is basicly what youre saying perhaps its better if you cut back on the dressing for a while. Of course its gonna be tough to do that but did you stop to think that maybe its doing more harm than good you getting to dress all the time?

[Sweet Susan]

I would think that if your wife has a problem with nail polish, she isn't going to be at comfortable with you wanting to have breast augmentation. Sometimes common sense has to come into play. Hope you come to the conclusion that best fits you. I have a friend who takes hormones. (S)he wants to have a body like a woman, so (s)he takes hormones. (S)he has been taking them for a couple of years now, and (s)he has some nice small breasts that are very sensitive and give him some erotic pleasure, as well as mental pleasure. (S)he also has developed hips that are more in line with what a woman has. But (s)he also had his wife's blessing. She endorses all that (s)he does femininely. You would need that kind of approval from your wife, I would think, and you don't seem to have it.

[HaleyPink2000]

Thanks!

I for sure don't have her blessing on anyof this. Just tollerates me thats all.:rolleyes:

But I'd so love to do a few things with my life as I wish, not the things others want me to. I guess I'm pushing the envelope wanting to go that far. But oh well.:heehee:

[Emeralddragon]

We're not saying you cant live how you want and be how you want its just that its very rare that our actions dont affect someone else in some way. Every decision must be made very carefully in all aspects of life and not just CDing. Talk with her some more and take it slow and maybe in a few years you'll be living the way you want with her by your side helping out and everything.

[NighttimeGirl]

that is a tough one really, the thing is if you jsut went and got it done would that be it with you and your partner?, I have just split up with my g/f because she is finding it difficult to cope and she cant come to terms with it, It is too important for me to give up or put on the back burner so we decided to split, ammicably for now lol,
You have to weigh up the consequences before doing anything rash, with our lifestyle we are always down the road of what if....... and I have had it with what if
have a real talk to your wife and get her perspective if it really is that important to you all areas must be covered.
I seem to be ranting a bit now girl but you know what I am getting at hopefully

:love:

[Teresa Amina]

Being retired must make it tougher to hold back on what you want to do. You've no longer got the work situation to deal with, yet the wife and family have to be considered. I love to wear my forms too, and being unattached I might make some pretty extreme changes to this physical self if I won the Lotto! I'm nowhere near retirement and have to consider the practicalities of making a living; tough enough as a guy. Maybe you can get the wife to go along with the piercings and at least feel from that that you're doing "something" about all this.

[Karren H]

We must be on the same wave length, Haley! Was thinking simular thoughts this morning. Not necessarily surgery.....but even stopped by Walgreens and was going to give Voluptas a try! To see if it would give my breasts a little bump in size. To a full B cup but they were sold out (big sale). Darn!!

Speaking as a friend and knowing you the way I do, I really don't know how you'd get your wife to accept your having breat surgery! Would probably push her over the edge, the wrong way, in my opinion. I know it would mine....and probably a lot of wives too! She'd have to be super comfortable with your current situation to allow you to feminize you body further! Maybe over time she will grow to accept your fem side more and more!! Can only hope so!!

Love Karren

[Bonnie D]

It would appear that you have only two choices; continue to be who others around you expect you to be and keep everyone happy, you made a commitment to it when you got married; or you can start being who you want to be, get your ears pierced, get breast implants, go on HRT, dress 24/7 and probably find a new place to live, commitments can end. I'm not being cynical, this is basically what I have to decide too. Come out to everyone and find a place to live or continue living with a secret identity.

Bonnie

[Emily Ann Brown]

Haley dear....


When my wife says I can have them then it's safe for you to do it too !!!


Emily Ann

[Wendy me]

wow tough place to be , family or haveing boobs and the ears done ....ok your wife is not up to eather asa a lot of our so's would be as well .... try this you have your forms right?? ok tell or better yet ask her if you could get the ears done ... tell her when you are out were this would make her uneasy then you will take out the ear rings ..... see were i am going ??? the forms come out and the ear rings come out ...... she has hubby looking the way she wants when it needs to be or makes her comfy.... you can pop in the forms and put on your ear rings when you want too....her wants and comfert are a big deal too ....no one realy wins completly but no one realy loses......

[tekla west]

huge difference between the two.

[drew44]

May I suggest that the past and the present are colliding. And it seems that the future will eventually win. The notion that you have choices is unfounded. You don't really, because you are going to become more fem with every year.

i wish you all the very best with your decision. but I really know which one you are going to make. Whatever the cost. your feelings will steal the show.

In fact if you where bi it would be easier to create a secret life for yourself. But we are what we are!

Drew xxx

[Nancy A]

Haily, I lost my first wife who I loved very much. I was tring to understand myself on why I cross dressed. I took the first step to accept who I was. She always thought that there something wrong with me. When I accepted that, her mind went crazy. Thinking I was going to have surgery, etc. and she left me. Not knowing that accepting it made my life better as far as that goes, but the pain was not worth it. I met my 2nd wife, on the 3rd date, I told her and she had no problem with that. She knows I cross dress all the time, but I don't rub it in her face. She wonders sometimes why I don't dress that much when she is around. I told her I have respect for you. Because of what little woman hood I expericed, she would want to see a man there. It is what they want inside, Like men would want for a woman to be there also. I know it's hard to balance what's inside you, just becareful on what you do.
Nancy

[Ashley in Virginia]

Please only positive help and no idiot comments please.:D

:hugs:

That leaves me out. :)

Seriously though, maybe it is time for a sit down with the wife to express how you are feeling and whats on your mind. The worst thing she can say is no.

[spoonie]

Hi Haley.
Im with bonnie on this one .You have to decide what is more important your family or breasts,Not a choice I would like to make.
Hope you make the right one
Best of luck
Love from Spoonie

[GG Vanya]

Quote:
Originally Posted by tekla west
I thought the wedding vows stuff went "for richer or poorer, for better or worse." Which, of course is why such things should not be entered into lightly.


I seem to remember another line which went something like this: who giveth this woman to be married to this man?


I posted a to a thread a few days ago, about personal "rights". It is my belief that a person's rights end at the precise point in which they violate or infringe on another person's rights.

Of course, I have sympathy for any CD, TG, TS, TV et al, whose desires (not needs which I will explain later) are not accepted by friends, family, or society at large. Certainly the CD has a right to seek that which they desire, but when the steps they take in search of those desires infringes on another's rights, what then? i.e. The wife and/or family also has a right to be free from discomfort and embarassment which might result from the actions of the crossdresser, no? And no one has the right to determine a person's personal comfort levels or convictions.

Wearing the apparel associated with females is one thing, and it seems your wife, Haley, has "somewhat" come to terms with this, even though it might be what you consider on "her" terms, or begrudgingly. Her right to privacy is not being violated with your crossdressing at home, in private.

However, breast augmentation is quite the horse of a different color. This is a permanent change in your body and appearance. Unless you intend to bind your breasts in public, this could be a source of extreme embarassment or discomfort for her.

Pierced ears? meh...no big deal in my opinion. Trudi's had both her ears pierced for years, long before I met her. I've yet to have anyone comment on both ears being pierced. You see quite a few men with one or both ears pierced, but you do not see many men, while en homme, sporting boobage.

Now to speak of needs vs. desires. On a base level a human being needs air, water, food and shelter, all else are simply wants or desires.

Haley, if your desire for pierced ears is something you simply cannot live without, it is possible your wife would compromise with you on that point. Make your case based on the fact that it really isn't that noticeable when not wearing earrings, and that many non TG men pierce one or both ears.

If your desire for breast augmentation is something you simply cannot live without, please take into consideration that this permanent change to your body cannot be easily disguised, and if your wife feels that her rights are being violated to the extreme, it could possibly be the straw that breaks the camel's back regarding your marriage.

I am not judging you Haley, for any decision you make. I am simply pointing out that the privacy of all those affected by your decisions (and their rights) should be considered carefully as well.

The path a transgendered person must walk is a minefield of rights, and I wish you peace with your journey.
__________________

[Dee 1062]

Hey if you want to keep your Wife, I would meet her half way...If she is ok for you to dress but not when people comes, then You may want to be ok with that...I would hate to see your wife retire from being your wife....You lived this long without the breast augmentation, what a few more years? I have enlarged mind with taking herbs, instead of a B, I would like a D, But I'll live with it....

[Billijo49504]

Haley, I have to agree with Vanya, you don't want to step on your wife's feelings to hard. If you can get away with the forms, live with it. Just for your info, I measure a 38C, and it's all me. And believe me, it not as much fun as you think. Kinda hard to run around without your shirt, with your tits flopping around. It would be nice to be able to take them off. But I can't,and neither can my wife. We both wear the same size bras. Oh, be sure to buy oversized shirts, so they don't show. I'm due to retire at the end of the year. Then I'll reward me, by getting my ears pierced....BJ

[HaleyPink2000]

I can do without the augmentation and even the ears being done. I just thought I’d see what all my Sisters would say to me about it. That way I cover all the questions about it if I ever decide to actually do one or the other. Nope I don’t intend to loose my Wife over this ever. Like you know I did give Her my vows at marriage. I sure don’t know what she means that I broke my vows doing this CD thing. I’ve never gone out with anyone but her for over 25 years. Maybe I’ll understand her comments someday.:heehee:

Oh and Emily, You keep me posted on when you and I can schedule things, LOLOL:D

[Melissa Ryan]

Haley dear....


When my wife says I can have them then it's safe for you to do it too !!!


Emily Ann


And on that day I will have a flashing neon sign on the roof of my house telling all in Melbourne the good news!! Ya nutter! Giggle! :heehee:

[HaleyPink2000]

Thats so funny Melissa:heehee:

[Maria D]

I seem to remember another line which went something like this: who giveth this woman to be married to this man?
Homosexual 'marriage' is possible in the UK now, but it's called a civil partnership, the government shying away from insulting the 'marriage is a straight institution' lobby.


I posted a to a thread a few days ago, about personal "rights". It is my belief that a person's rights end at the precise point in which they violate or infringe on another person's rights.

Tricky. I agree, but what happens when one person's right conflicts directly with another's? A simple example would be my right to go to bed conflicting with Angela's right to read a book in bed. Also, some people throw out arguements that they have a right to not have a TG in their presence. I can only counter that with the thought that people can do what they want provided that it doesn't intentionally hurt anyone, the key being intentionally.

Another example, I'm sad to mention, is my Mum in hospital last week. She complained to me that an arab man, while in hospital for a similar operation to her (removal of part of her lung to aid breathing), disturbed her by praying to Mecca in the day room. She complained he had no right to do that 'over here', and that she had a right to quiet. I think he had every bl**y right to do that.
Not agreeing with something, or not wanting to do or see something done, doesn't give you a 'right' to stop it being done, and you don't have a 'right' to have all your views respected around you, in public. That's a few thoughts, anyway :)

Take care :)