Crossdresser, or......?

[Kate Simmons]

We use the term crossdresser and sometimes transvestite to describe those who dress in the clothing of the opposite sex for whatever reason. The terms seem to imply that doing so is not "normal". What if it feels completely natural and normal to look or dress a certain way despite what you are biologically? I feel this way. I enjoy dressing as a guy as Rich and it feels natural. I enjoy dressing as a girl as Ericka and it feels normal to me. I even sometimes enjoy dressing in "guy's' clothes as Ericka when I become Eric. Since this all seems natural to me, am I a crossdresser or possibly a "criss-cross" dresser? Someone make my day please and figure it out. I never really felt the term crossdresser applied to me since it always felt right no matter how I dressed. Is there another one or am I just plain Ericka? A big fat hug and kiss to whoever comes up with an answer. Love, Ericka:love:

[Tina Dixon]

I can't figure it out, some times I feel wierd in male and female clothing.

[spoonie]

We use the term crossdresser and sometimes transvestite to describe those who dress in the clothing of the opposite sex for whatever reason. The terms seem to imply that doing so is not "normal". What if it feels completely natural and normal to look or dress a certain way despite what you are biologically? I feel this way. I enjoy dressing as a guy as Rich and it feels natural. I enjoy dressing as a girl as Ericka and it feels normal to me. I even sometimes enjoy dressing in "guy's' clothes as Ericka when I become Eric. Since this all seems natural to me, am I a crossdresser or possibly a "criss-cross" dresser? Someone make my day please and figure it out. I never really felt the term crossdresser applied to me since it always felt right no matter how I dressed. Is there another one or am I just plain Ericka? A big fat hug and kiss to whoever comes up with an answer. Love, Ericka:love:

How about Just being you

[carol anne]

Erica, I read your message with interest but reply in this personal way. There are times when I feel that I must be Carol for no other reason except that I answer the inner urge to be be Carol. Then there are other times when I respond to that inner urge to be my male self. I don't question the "why" or "when" but just enjoy either. I'm very happy although I admit I enjoy being Carol more.:love:

[Breanne]

We use the term crossdresser and sometimes transvestite to describe those who dress in the clothing of the opposite sex for whatever reason. The terms seem to imply that doing so is not "normal". What if it feels completely natural and normal to look or dress a certain way despite what you are biologically?
We, human beings are only two kinds when it comes to dressing: Dresser or non-dresser. It's as simple as that. The "cross" is imposed by others (society, tradition, retailers or custom, etc.) with what they percieve to be either male or female garb. So, am I a cross dresser? I guess that term is relavent only to society etc., but for myself, I am only a 'dresser' sometimes dressed in pants, sometimes in a skirt or dress.

[bredalee25]

Ericka we all need to dress the way we feel comfortable to dress. Only society can lable us in what ever way they want to. We can be who and what we want to be when ever we want to. Don't let these lables bother you just be the best person you can be. When I talk to anyone on here I don't lable anyone I just address what ever subject they need help or guidence with. Actually to me everyone on here is female to me and i treat them as such. I hope this helps you hon and remember I love you for who you are not a lable.

ttfn
Brenda

[Carroll]

Erica, I read your message with interest but reply in this personal way. There are times when I feel that I must be Carol for no other reason except that I answer the inner urge to be be Carol. Then there are other times when I respond to that inner urge to be my male self. I don't question the "why" or "when" but just enjoy either. I'm very happy although I admit I enjoy being Carol more.:love:


:yt:

[Kimberley]

Ahhh, the old argument. We are all transgendered to some degree or we wouldnt be cross dressing, at all, for any reason. A lot of people disagree with that assessment but they cant provide any other alternative answer.

Now to the labels. Forget them, they exist only to place us in context that is relative to some standard collectively established by society, the mental health professionals, and our own community. I ask one question...why? Does having a label place one's value in a higher or lower plane?

We are who and what we are. Trying to separate these apparently distinct parts of us only causes confusion and (to the delight of the mental health community) gender dysphoria.

IMHO gender dysphoria is nothing more than our own confusion over our own identity. When we can accept the fact that we have these two "competing" selves and are in fact maintaining our own desire to keep them separate, then we move forward as a whole person with one identity that encompasses everything we are. It is called self acceptance. It is not a revelation it is a process, sometimes painful but always over time.

Ericka, it appears as though you are on that path. You have a lot of support from others who have gone down it so dont be afraid to call on any of us publicly or privately.

:hugs:
Kimberley.

[Dixie Darling]

Ericka,

From a purely technical viewpoint, if you dress in the clothes and acoutrements associated with the opposite sex by society, you are indeed a crossdresser.

However, you made an interesting statement that needs more clarification. You said
I even sometimes enjoy dressing in "guy's' clothes as Ericka when I become Eric.

When you DO dress in "guy's clothes" as Ericka, do you use makeup, wigs, etc? If so, you are still embodying femininity since GGs wear a LOT of typically male clothing on a daily basis, but are unmistakenly women due to their makeup, hair, figure, etc.

Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd

[Kate Simmons]

Actually Dixie, When I'm Ericka dressing as Eric, I use just enough makeup to cover my beard shadow but tone it down to make it LOOK like I'm not wearing makeup. The same holds true for everything else. I wear a padded panty but make it LOOK like I'm trying to conceal it. I wear breast forms but tone them down with a sports bra and wear a loose fitting guy's shirt, pants, shoes, etc. The only thing that gives me away is my dancing. Everyone knows who I am by my style, dammit, I couldn't dance like a guy if I tried. Why do I go to all this trouble? I like being diverse and having the freedom to do so. My true friends accept me regardless of what I look like anyway. The thing is, as Eric it's really the only time I consider myself crossdressing. Ericka

[Teresa Amina]

Just back from a day at work "passing as a man", not only in a certain sense cross-dressed but cross-minded as well. Perhaps we could call ourselves "crossbodied"? A long hot bath awaits, and an evening in Teresa mode.

[trannie T]

'Transvestite' and 'crossdresser" are just words. They are used to indicate those who wear clothing associated with another gender. The words themselves do not indicate any positive or negative judgement of the individual they describe. "Pervert" and 'sicko' on the other hand. . .

[Calliope]

Another interesting musing from Kimerley...


Ahhh, the old argument. We are all transgendered to some degree or we wouldnt be cross dressing, at all, for any reason. A lot of people disagree with that assessment but they cant provide any other alternative answer.

Now to the labels. Forget them, they exist only to place us in context that is relative to some standard collectively established by society, the mental health professionals, and our own community. I ask one question...why? Does having a label place one's value in a higher or lower plane?


I would suggest 'crossdresser' (a word that doesn't bug me, although I think 'crisscrosser' is more playful) is useful in that it specifies a particular transgendered individual has made the move to embrace their transgendered nature instead of denying it.

[ava_bruna]

We're not cross dresser's, we're happy dresser's:D

[Kate Simmons]

We're not cross dresser's, we're happy dresser's:D
I agree with that Ava. I also like the term "Crisscrosser" that Day came up with. Guess that's what Ericka is, plus it sounds like you are skipping happily down the lane or something. Ericka

[JamieTG]

I feel most comfortable with the term "transgendered". Like Kimberly said we are all TG to some degree. We all crossdress, and for each of us its for a different reason. I'm somewhere in the middle between male and female and am just following what feels natural to me. I feel more comfortable as a feminized male more so than a full CD trying to pass. I wouldn't worry about how to label yourself Erika. Just enjoy being you.
Jamie

[Denise01]

While I have used the term crossdresser at time, I prefer the term Transgendered, as that is what I truly feel that i am.

Crossdresser, transvestite, etc, can have different meanings, but transgendered, i feel truly describes us, and is a term that i feel a lot more people will understand.

my 0.02 worth any way

Denise

[tekla west]

transgendered. It gets away from the sex deal (transvestite) and the opposites deal (Cross) and is more to the point.

[eleventhdr]

Some real understanding.

Why we still have labels for what we do and who we are is still beyond me we are just like anyone else we are people who want to be comfortavble and if and when this does mean dressing in clothing that is still defined as clothing of one sex or the other is just not the real case at all

If and when women can dress in mlae clothing as they do now and have for some time then why are males not allowed to dress comfortable in femlae clothing loose clothing skirts dresses and loose fitting underclothing as well

Thsi is the way it is suppose to be but is still denied to us mlaes esspecially in hot weather but no real matter what time of year it is if an when we want to dress as we do choose they so be it.

The other day in the new'' paper i saw an add for men style cut clothing just for women so why are there no skirts dresses for men as of yet this is discrimination.

Plain and simple.

we must take it out there and be allowed to dress as we realy do want to.

Nuff said!.

Jay Suzy!:

[GG Vanya]

Ericka,

Being a person who prefers to simplify things, my take on it is this:

If the curtains don't match the plumbing, you're crossdressed.:D

But, you have me intrigued. I understand who Ericka is, and I understand who Richard is, but *who* is Eric? I find it fascinating that you seem to have a third identity in the mix.

I'm reminded of what I used to tell people about mine and Trudi's relationship. I would dearly love to see a counselor just to watch 'em squirm when we explain that we are a monogamously married BDSM couple, we both switch in that capacity, and *then* there's Trudi thrown in for good measure!:heehee: I would imagine the counselor would grab the Valium and dive under the couch!

[Charleen]

Transgender works for me. I am not one or the other, but both, though Lily most definately has the upper hand in how I dress even in drab as I have gotten more effeminate as of late with nails long and polished in clear,pierced ears, long hair,(my own, not a wig), clear mascara,panties and hose always, to name a few. I couldn't be happier. Yet Charlie is there if needed, like to stop a fight at work tonite between customers. At 6 foot,loud and low voiced, he stopped all the yelling in short order before fists started to fly. I am me. Always will be, and unfortunately, had denied the truth to myself for too many years. Love and xxxx, Lily

[Rachel Morley]

Have you ever considered that you might be genderqueer? The more I read about this the more I think this might apply to me. How about you too?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genderqueer

[swiss_susan]

Dress however you want when you want, and don't worry about the label.

Leave that to those who find a need for them.

Suasn

[Marla S]

Labels are tricky thing. I don't like them neither, but they have their value.
Probably we wouldn't have met each other here, if there wouldn't be the labels "crossdresser" or "transvestite", but "I am me" instead.

It's not only the label itself. A lot depends on who uses them in which context.
Here I am completely happy with the labels, but if they are used in disrespectfull way by "outsiders" they can be offending.

I think there is no need to search for another label, as every new one will have its negative connotation too. As long as we and the public worrys about our style, there will be a label of some sort.

[Kate Simmons]

I dunno Vanya, I'm still finding out who Eric is but I'm exploring and going with the flow. The "little girl" part of me was always with me while I was growing up as a "little boy". I suspect that Eric is the manifestation of Ericka's "tomboy" self. You know me, I'm not all "sugar and spice" and "everything nice". When I grew up in the 50's and 60's, boys and girls were expected to act in certain ways. If I HAD indeed been born a GG, Eric would be that part of Ericka who refused to fit into the "mold" and play with dolls and be all frilly, etc. In short , another part of balancing the psyche dynamics in my crazy little head.Now that I've finally accepted my femme self, I'm finding it has this tomboy aspect. I haven't told my therapist about this one yet. Like you said, she would probably head straight for the Valium. LOL Works for me but most can't even conceive of such stuff. :happy: Ericka

[Casey Morgan]

The more I read your posts the more I feel a kinship with you Ericka. I've just been calling myself transgendered and leaving it at that until I "figure out what I am". But as others have said it's really just labels, isn't it?

You know, I had to chuckle when I read Angel's post. I printed out a few things from the Internet to give people an idea of who I am and how I feel. At the top of the list was the genderqueer entry in the Wikipedia, the entry Angel linked to. I made notes on that page (hardcopy) saying that this describes me very well but I hesitate to call myself genderqueer. I'm not sure if there is anything implied by the label that I'm not aware of.

I chuckled because I keep telling myself if that describes me so well why don't I just say I'm genderqueer? And it hit me. I'm too afraid of having to say oops, I didn't know it implied something that I'm not. And people will hate me for it. They won't, but it's an issue I've been dealing with forever. I posted how I feel a few months ago and someone (side Q: is it polite to simply say who rather than "someone"?) said that some peopole they knew who felt like that call themselves genderqueer.

So Angel and Ericka, since that definition fits me so well I'm simply going to say that I'm genderqueer. I'm genderqueer. (I figure I hadn't really said it yet.) Identify as you feel comfortable.

[Melissa A.]

Hi Ericka,

I liked ava's term: "Happy dresser".

One thing we have to accept, even if we accept who we are, is that crossdressing IS a bit unusual. That doesn't make it wrong, and to us it feels quite natural. But if it were completely no big deal, I would have no problem going down to my neighbor's apt. as Melissa and borrow a cup of sugar! I won't do that because I'm considerate enough not to make others uncomfortable. I don't care who knows(and I think all the neighbors do) but knowing and seeing are two different things. The point is, what we do IS different, unique, unusual but I feel incredibley lucky to be different, unique, unusual. And yes natural, cause it's a very real part of who we are. There's nothing wrong with the term crossdresser, but as others have said, they're all just labels and most of the reat of the world will probably never come around to complete acceptance. To heck with 'em. We are who we are. People with have a strong female side. I personally think it is an inborn chemical thing and not a result of environment. And that's as natural as it gets.

Hugs,

Melissa:happy: