R A F

[Joy Carter]

No not the Royal Air Force silly, "Random Acts of Femininity", Phillis suggested that I start this thread after I posted in another. So here is the deal gurls when we do get out there be the best you can be. Dress and act a lady make a positive impression with those whom you deal with. Any one from the clerk at 7 11 to the SA at Blooming Dale's. Be your best confident self be out going like you really believe in your self and who you are. Tall order +? You bet ! The rewards, acceptance buy another person who may or may not have been till they met you. I'm expecting a full report from you gurls on this idea and tell any stories you may have on the subject. This can go a long way to our acceptance into the main stream of life something I hear from a lot of you gurls.

[myMichelle]

You just hit the nail on the head, Joy!

I absolutely wholeheartedly agree with every word you just wrote. Over the years, I have come to realize the importance of not only self-acceptance, but also self-confidence. In my early days, I often felt self-conscious. I know that's fairly common for all of us. But I used to give people a lot of really mean looks, and my body language was awkword, to say the least. People picked up on this. They picked up on all of my "negative vibes" and they treated me accordingly. Always stand-offish and never friendly. But, as soon as I realized that all I needed to do was begin smiling and treating others kindly, my life enfemme got a whole lot easier. Think about this: Even if someone sees you and desperately wants to laugh at you or tease you--that's damn hard to do if you're nothing but pleasant and nice to them. Now, I always smile and I carry myself with confidence...it makes all the difference in the world! Regardless of what they may think of me, people generally at least treat me with respect. And that's all I ever wanted.

[Phoebe Reece]

Joy, I agree completely. That is exactly what I try to do when I am out and about enfemme. A nice smile usually gets one right back at you. Exhibiting self-confidence about who and what I am has led to some interesting conversations with strangers and cleared up many misconceptions they had about crossdressers. It's one of the things that makes crossdressing so much fun.

[Joy Carter]

Great posts Michelle and Phoebe you see the light as well. Come on gurls lets hear your thoughts too.

[Kate Simmons]

This is exactly the reason I changed my femme name last year from Victoria to Ericka to get a fresh start. Victoria was stand offish and kind of a prude. Ericka is more outgoing and people oriented and has reaped the rewards for being so. I have a lot of friends who now accept me as Ericka. In fact, they seem let down if I come around as Richard and wonder if something is wrong. When I tell them I just didn't feel like getting ready, they say okay but make sure you are Ericka next time. Gives me a great feeling. Ericka

[tekla west]

I have an old friend named Dee Dee who uses the term "Positive Presentation" for what she does, and I've always liked that thought. Its about presenting yourself (and hence other TGs, in a positive manner. Its about being nice, polite, polished, with good humor and perfect manners. As Dee Dee says "at least ACT like a woman, a lady of quality and breeding." I also think of it as being accommodating also. In order for me to expect some degree of acceptance, then I must accept others too. Every gesture need not be some big political statement. I'm always willing to "when in Rome, do as the Romans do."

My advice is always "just be yourself tonight." Be the friendly, outgoing, sparkling, sunshine princess you know yourself to be. Let your good qualities led, and leave your bad qualities at home with your DRAB stuff. Be a person other people want to know, like to talk to, and feel good about spending time with.

BE THERE (or as the hippies said, 'be here now'). Don't just slink in. Arrive. Think of the line from the Carly Simon song about "walking into a party like you were walking onto a yacht." Be present. Participate. Share. Have a good time. Be pleasant.

[Phyliss]

Two delightful things happened to me the day I went out shopping with my sister.

As bad luck would have it I got stopped by a cop for making a wrong turn. I know he must have "read me" and just didn't "want to get involved" or I actually "passed" either way he addressed me as "Ma'am" (the best part was I didn't get a ticket just a verbal warning.
Later that same day, I was in Lady Grace, ( a foundation store) and the S.A. asked the cashier if she "would take care of these nice ladies and cash them out"

Twice in one day I made a positive impression and was addressed as"a lady" . I loved it.

[Joy Carter]

Erica, Tekla, Phillis all good reports, anybody have good ideas or stories to relate to our sisters here ?

[Brianna Lovely]

I believe that we are all like mirrors.

What we send out, our appearance and demeanor, are reflected back at us by most other people that we meet.

So, a well dressed gurl, with a kind and gentle behavior, will not illicit fear, but will have a calming effect on the people they meet.

[Joy Carter]

Very Nice thought Brianna (lovely name BTW) thank you. Come on gurls anyone else here ? Maybe the GG's want to respond.

[susiepaul]

hi i agree just go out and smile even if someone out ther gives you negative coments just shrug your sholders and smile back it usualy stopes most people.

now a days i dont try to pass as a girl i just love the clothes and wear what i like as now i am sat in the local internet cafe wearing a preety brown gypsy skirt and satin blouse with brown sandles on with my nails polished and no one says anything except for the normal like good morning ect everone here expect me to wear a skirt its wheni wear a pair of pants now and then that i get coments and even then i wear girls pants as they fit better.

if we are positive about how we feel within our self we get back positive things from people we meet.

also the more we go out dresses as we like the more people will acept us without coment.


regards paul

ps i have a new photo on my profile of me last week just before i went out for dinner