Advice

[sexy5740]

Hi, do any of you have any good advice for a crossdresser who is scared to crossdress because of what people may think? Also do you have any ideas on what I can get?

Thanks,
Sarah

[loki_uk]

Buy some clothes on ebay if shopping sounds a bit scary for now, get used to dressing at home

Then when you're feeling confident in yourself, find a club or pub near you that is at least tolerant of crossdressers and if anyone knows your secret it would make things easier not to go alone even if your friends are dressed all vanila

[Calliope]

Hi, do any of you have any good advice for a crossdresser who is scared to crossdress because of what people may think? Also do you have any ideas on what I can get?

Thanks,
Sarah

Sounds like your second question is working on your first. Wear what looks good to you! After a few months, your style will emerge.

[randi_789]

When you say scared to crossdress do you mean in any manner, or to the point where you can go out somewhere? If you crossdress in the privacy of your own home when you are alone the chances are good noone will find our if you are careful. And you can crossdress with limits (no makeup or wig) so you can easily change if the need arises. There are times I simply dress in panties, stockings, heels and a slip because that is all I have time for.

[sexy5740]

I am just scared/shy in general to crossdress.

[KateW]

Well, don't tell anyone until you have built up enough confidence. Just be careful and have fun. As for what to get, online ordering is easiest, or you can check out charity shops, or normal stores for clothes. If you feel uncomfortable doing this, just state it is for a present for your girlfriend. Good luck!

[Julogden]

Hi Sarah,

Well, you've certainly come to the right place, as there are many, many kindred spirits here who will be happy to help.

First, it would help us to know a bit more about your situation and why you are so scared of crossdressing.

Are you in a big city, small town, rural area? Live alone or with parents? All of these things might affect what advice we can give you, so if you're comfortable with giving us a little more info, it might help.

I think most of us have been where you are, so be assured that it can get better.

:hugs: Carol

[Wenda]

I am just scared/shy in general to crossdress.
Well sweetie, you have found a safe port for your storm. Browse through some of the older threads in this forum. They contain lots of wisdom, experience and advice.
If you have an idea what most appeals to you, start there, ie, stockings, panties, bras, girdles, whatever. I started with bras, then stockings and shoes, then a skirt, then shaved my legs, then painted my toes, then a couple of tops, then breast forms.... you get the idea. Each time you buy something, and it fits and you like it, it makes you stronger, and makes you want more. Check eBay. You can find anything there. Check the size charts in a catalogue or online. If in doubt, order the size larger than you think you might be.
I get the impression that you may be fairly young and/or may not be living by yourself. In that case, having things shipped to your home is not on. For your first purchase, I suggest a large chain like WalMart. Decide on what you are going to buy (bra, skirt, etc), find the item in their catalogue or on-line, figure out the size from charts, write it on a list along with other stuff you need to buy. At the check-out, if you still feel obvious, ask "If this isn't right, can she return it?" You will get so that you buy stuff you don't really need just because it is so much fun to buy it.

[Carroll]

Here is a few ideas that I put in one of my articles

1) If you are married, and your wife knows, you can take her. I use this option often, but there can be drawbacks. Let’s say you buy a bra, size 40c and it is obvious to the clerk that your wife is much smaller, what can you do? My wife would say something like “Are you sure Carroll said it was a size 40c?” implying that we are purchasing the item for someone else.

2) Going solo and using the “buying for another method” works for buying make-up and maybe a bra. Using a piece of paper with a list on it makes it look like your wife sent you out for the items.

3) You could get brave and be upfront with a clerk about the fact that you are shopping for yourself! "Public" cross-dressers often do this -- but you could do it too and just not go dressed.


Carroll

[sexy5740]

Define fairly young.. I am 21 going into my junior year at college and sharing an apartment with 5 other guys who dont tolerate this. None of them know about this either. My college is in Dubuque, IA, while my hometown is Glenview (a suburb of Chicago). Hope this helps you out!!

Thanks,
Sarah

[tekla west]

I went to college in Des Moines and Ames, there is life after Iowa so take heart

[Wenda]

Define fairly young.. I am 21 going into my junior year at college and sharing an apartment with 5 other guys who dont tolerate this. None of them know about this either. My college is in Dubuque, IA, while my hometown is Glenview (a suburb of Chicago). Hope this helps you out!!

Thanks,
Sarah
Yup! that puts several things in perspective. I have several friends in IA, but wouldn't just announce to them that I dress! Although many of us encourage sisters to go 'out', there is also a need to be aware of the menace of hostile homophobia. At the very least, with 'friends' who don't understand, it can cost you friendships or social status. At the worst, it can be fatal.
So, you can't have things shipped to your residence. In that case, check the catalogues and on-line size charts, select your favourite item, write it down on a 'list', and go buy it. Ask if it can be returned if it isn't 'right'. If the answer is no, apologize and leave the item at the check-out. Trust me, once you buy something, the emotion is powerful, and you just want to do it again. Go to the store when it is not busy. I avoid male check-outs. I have tried on bras in department stores. Honestly most people just don't care. I doubt they would mention it to their family at the end of the day. Be polite, friendly and ask for ADVICE. :happy: :happy: :happy:

[noname]

Hi, do any of you have any good advice for a crossdresser who is scared to crossdress because of what people may think? Also do you have any ideas on what I can get?

Thanks,
Sarah

You can always do what I do, being as I never intend to pass. Try just wearing one item. Say styled jeans, or a t-shirt top that isn't too girly. Us guy clothes are so style deprived it's sick.

[Julogden]

Define fairly young.. I am 21 going into my junior year at college and sharing an apartment with 5 other guys who dont tolerate this. None of them know about this either. My college is in Dubuque, IA, while my hometown is Glenview (a suburb of Chicago). Hope this helps you out!!

Thanks,
Sarah
Hi again Sarah,

Well, if you can get to Cedar Rapids, there's a Tri-Ess chapter there, see http://www.geocities.com/kappaphiiota2002/ for details.

Living with 5 non-tolerant male room mates is a definite problem, and I would think that you would need to store clothes somewhere other than where you live.

I hate to say it, but in your present situation, your choices are pretty limited, but keep in mind that it's a temporary thing.

One other thing to explore: many colleges have support groups for GLBT students, have you looked into that?

When you're back at home, look into the support organizations here in the Chicago area, at least you might be able to access them when school is out and you're back at home.

And if you've ever been to the Baton in Chicago, keep in mind that Mimi Marks, the beautiful TS star of the show is from Iowa! See http://www.thebatonshowlounge.com/mimi_marks.htm for a few photos of her.

:hugs: Carol

[Charleen]

First of all- A Welcome! As has been said, you found the right site. There are many here who will help you out.I went to school in Wahoo, Nebraska, so I know the atmosphere in the "bible belt" and it definately is NOT condusive to our lifesyle. You have already gotten tons of great advice. I would second that you go through past posts as there is a wealth of info in them. As with anything in life, take your time. Get comfortable about your CDing. I go out on my days off enfemme, but not to draw attention to myself, jeans, blouse, ect. I have not had a problem buying anything so far. If anything the clerks are very nervous ringing me up. I don't say a word as explaination or excuse for my purchases. BTW, a warning, when you do go out and shop it is very addictive! Do what you think you can and will be O.K. with,and again, I say, take your time, but enjoy the journey into discovery of not only yourself, but this amazing sisterhood. You are NOT alone! Love and xxxx,Lily:hugs:

[sexy5740]

Well should i tell one of my female friends that may accept it? She doesn't go to my school however she is from around the area back home. Any ideas would be great!!

Thanks and love to you all!!

Sarah

[Stacie Stockman]

Find a makeover shop and schedule an appt for a makeover so that you can see yourself as a girl.

[Julogden]

Well should i tell one of my female friends that may accept it? She doesn't go to my school however she is from around the area back home. Any ideas would be great!!

Thanks and love to you all!!

Sarah
Hi Sarah,

That's a dificult call for anyone other than you, but if you thoroughly trust her, then I'd say go ahead and tell her.

Higs,
Carol